From Sanford O. Roth:
Searching for a Christmas gift for your beloved woman?
Don't doubt, she will be so excited to find
a huge one-eyed python in your trousers!
Make all ladies worship your male package!
Dear Mr. Roth,
So good to hear from you! How is the weather in Nigeria this time of year? That pesky civil war over yet?
I'm sorry to say that your message arrived just a little too late, I've already completed my Christmas shopping for this year. Sadly, although it was the number one item on my list, I was unable to procure a large trouser python, one eyed or otherwise, at the local Wal-Mart. There were several used ones for sale in the local want adds, but I don't think my wife would be happy with a 'pre-owned' unit. However, I'm sure she will be quite happy with the car polish and power tool set that I did get for her.
As to the worship part - they already do, Sanford, they already do. In fact my Christmas package wrapping skills are the talk of the town.