Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

Well, the Christmas Morning Frenzy (tm) has ended here at Stonekettle Station.

The carnage was terrible.

It's getting harder and harder to pull off getting the presents out of hiding and downstairs into the sunroom without the kid catching us. We have had to resort to treachery and dirty tricks - which is, of course, the part of Christmas that my wife and I enjoy most.

Last night we added something new - technology. We've got this device, the Ssscat Cat Repeller, it's a spray can of compressed air, with a motion sensor on top, which is designed to sound an alarm and release a blast of compressed air when triggered - you put it on the counters and it's very effective at keeping feline members of the family off the food preparation surfaces. As it turns out, if you put it in the upstairs hallway outside the kid's bedroom door - well it works pretty good for letting you know when your child is attempting an unauthorized recon of the Christmas tree.

We put put the Repeller in the hall about 10Pm, around 10:30Pm we heard it go off. I put the episode of Firefly we were watching on hold; my wife went up to check, and came back downstairs giggling hysterically and waving a small square of paper. A note from my son, which she found next to the repeller. The note was literally dripping with scorn and disdain and read:

Nice try with the spray can. I'm not that stupid!

Ha! Neither are we, Sarcasm Boy.

Instead of a war of attrition, we executed a flanking maneuver, i.e. we went to bed without placing the presents. Set the alarm for 5AM. We got up with the alarm, I helped my wife carry the presents downstairs, and while she arranged them under the tree I made coffee. Then we went back to bed for a couple of hours - all undetected.

Like the lady said, age and experience wins out over youth and enthusiasm, every time.

For the record, I got the cordless dremel tool, the wife loved her new necklace, and we're all up to our collective jingle bells in Lego's. Also, I got the Final Cut HD version of Bladerunner. I'm currently listening to Bing Crosby and eating my grits and finishing my coffee. Later I'll put on the Ham and potatoes.

All is well here. Hope you all have a great day and a Merry Christmas or Hanukkah or Festivus or Whatever. If you can spare a moment out of your day, give a thought to those in uniform overseas today - don't feel guilty about it, that's why they do what they do. The best way to honor them is to enjoy your day, laugh, hug those who are important to you, and raise a toast to those who keep us all safe.

Have a great day all.


  1. Sounds like a great day. Glad you all enjoyed.

    Jule and I followed our Christmas Tradition and went to a movie (which is apparently the tradition with every other person who doesn't leave NY for the holiday). We saw "Charlie Wilson's War" Absolutely superb. Go see it.

    Merry Christmas!

  2. Oh, forgot to mention...excellent use of cat control product on the young'un!!

  3. Well, see, my wife wouldn't have approved of the dog control product - i.e. the electric shock collar (and actually we don't have one of those either) so it was the cat device or nothing.

    Charlie Wilson's war looked pretty good to me, glad to hear you liked it.

  4. I may use your cat can on my dog to keep him away from the Christmas Tree. I'm thinking one blast from that (he doesn't like loud noises) may do the trick.


  5. Okay, now what would have been better is if the kid had disabled the device and then repositioned it so that it would go off when you would try and get the gifts. Although, there's always next year. :)

    Sounds like you all had a good one.

  6. Hey, don't be giving the kid any ideas. It's hard enough to stay ahead of him


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