Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Why they make Prozac

One fine day in 2004 Marvin Heemeyer snapped. Completely.

He built himself a tank and went out for a drive, and the town of Granby, Colorado was never the same again (some of it was not as tall as it used to be, so to speak).

You might not be able to fight city hall, but given enough time, heavy equipment, and sufficient batshit crazy, you can flatten that sucker - which is almost as good.

That's a special breed of crazy Marvin's got going on there. But, arguably, Marv had an excuse, click on the YouTube logo and read the comments on the original post, some of those folks need to be darted with a tranquilizer gun.


  1. I remember this incident. And I remember thinking, "If I only had the guts. Or the total lack of rational thought."

  2. I figured you might, given your location.

    Yeah, at first I thought - Woohoo! Think of the fun that would be. The sheer unstoppable chaos in a brute force crushing the panicked and screaming mob to strawberry shortcake topping beneath the churning treads sort of way. But eventually you either have to shoot yourself or somebody will do it for you - and that just kind've leaches the woohoo out of it for me.

  3. I've always had a fantasy about stealing a hook-&-Ladder fire truck and driving it around NYC doing about 50mph with no-one steering the back end. Crashy goodness.


  4. Well, from the other end I can see two of our residents having the capacity and the mental accuity to perform such an act in my little town. Both feel the same level of persecution and that they aren't understood and both would probably have the same reaction from the community (ie. "he was always a good guy that went out of his way to not hurt anybody" countered by those that would say, "batshit crazy, he was"). Sounds like somebody who felt life always gave them the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

    And, yep, it's a sure fire way to commit "suicide by cop."

  5. oh, and you don't drop a flash-bang down an exhaust pipe, you drop high explosive grenades down exhaust pipes.

  6. I've always had a fantasy about stealing a hook-&-Ladder fire truck and driving it around NYC doing about 50mph with no-one steering the back end.

    With the siren going and the dalmatian in the seat next to you, with her head hanging out the window, tongue flapping, drool flying. Oh yeah.

    Steve, don't worry too much about your crazy neighbors - eventually they'll move here to Alaska. Because that's what crazy people do, our ratio of batshit crazy to not crazy is at least 3 times the national average.

    And you don't put HE in the exhaust pipe, silly boy - you use a banana. Didn't you ever watch Eddy Murphy? (no relation to Janiece, so far as I know).

  7. Oh, man, now I gotta go find a banana supplier that can get me ones the size of bulldozer exhaust stacks.

    (mmm, bananas...)

  8. How about a Plantain? same shape, larger size. I think they're firmer too, make a better disabling device. Plus they taste like ass, so no downside.


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