Monday, March 31, 2008

On the nature of Peacocks

Surfing around yesterday I came across this clip from South Park. Now, I'm not a big South Park fan (Yeah, I know, surprise surprise, but I'm not), but it got me thinking (and you know where that leads).

And you what? I think they're on to something with this.

Think about it. Whenever a guy gets into trouble doing something stupid, it's usually because he was trying to impress a girl. Oh, come on fellas, we can admit it. We're like peacocks, just another big stupid bird scratching in the dirt - until the peahens show up. Then all of a sudden we're spreading our gaudy tails and and making loud obnoxious noises in a bid for attention. This isn't any secret, it's hardwired into us. More trips to the emergency room can be attributed to this one male quirk than all other manly endeavors combined. It's not our fault, we just can't help ourselves.

And I got to thinking, you know, the United States is a lot like a guy. A big, blustering, swaggering, beer swilling, tractor pulling guy. And Canada? Canada is a lot like a pretty girl. A country girl free and full of promise, with a come hither coquettishness and socialized medicine that just begs us to impress her. And so we continually embark on feats of strength and daring-do, hoping she'll go to the prom with us. Instead, we end up in the emergency room.

See? The logic is inescapable. It is all Canada's fault.

Maybe I need to watch more South Park.


  1. The musical numbers on SP are amazingly good. (The first time I saw the Mr. Hanky episode, the sound was off and I was horrified. The second time, the sound was on and I was laughing my butt off.)

    The thing I like best about them is that they usually manage to illuminate both sides of an issue.

  2. OK, now let's see if I've got this straight.

    Canada and England are sitting together at the cheerleaders' table giggling and pretending they're ignoring everybody else. Argentina and Peru are in a corner pretending to read Ayn Rand.

    America walks in and childishly pulls the chair out from under Afghanistan right when he's about to sit down. America laughs and laughs. The U.N. comes in and grabs America by the earlobe and is heard saying "It's all fun and games until someone breaks their coccyx"! America whines back, "Yeah, but Canada laughed too."

    OK, I'm good with that.

  3. The musical numbers in South Park, like Anne said, are awesome. The South Park movie (whence from "Blame Canada" comes) has the most amazing Les Miserables parody I've ever seen. Seriously.

    When SP works, it's an utterly brilliant show. True, there are plenty of times Parker and Stone get overly proud of their apathetic attitude to politics or decide to mock something they clearly can't be bothered to think about (their stem cell episode is horrifically bad). But when they're on and everything clicks... truly brilliant stuff.

  4. I would just like to officially blame both Jim and Eric for making me watch the entire South Park movie for its resemblance to Les Miserables. -.-

  5. It's good for you, MWT, builds character.

  6. "La Resistance" is an amazing song. One of the two guys--I can't remember whether it's Parker or Stone--is a HUGE Les Mis fan, and it shows in that number and in a few other places in the movie.

    On a related note, The Mole is an awesome character. Just saying.

  7. South Park Comments aside, you're missing that women make just as many juvenile attempts to catch a man's attention, and we do it in ways men would never think of. I don't know many men who would wear makeup or high heels. Men don't have to get their hair and nails done on a regular basis unless they work in Hollywood. I don't know of many men who would get plastic surgery or botox just so that they can be more attractive to the opposite sex, but I have several female friends that have thought about it. And don't even start me on the some of the ridiculous things women are expected to wear. I don't see guys asked to wear thongs. *shudder*

    Then there are the games. Most women play games with men they find attractive. I hate games. I was terrible at dating. All of my friends made fun of me because I couldn't bring myself to date properly. I tended to be brutally honest in my relationships. I think it's dishonorable to be any other way. Thankfully, I found a man as straight forward as I am. He's not much on games either.

    As for Canada laughing, please, Canada would never laugh. A slight smile maybe, but that's it. Brazil would laugh. Canada would be too busy mooning over Sweden, who is calmly eating his tuna pizza over in the corner and reading.

  8. Amyzon, you are going to fit in just fine around here I see.

    You've got me laughing, which is an impressive feat in the morning, over the Sweden and tuna pizza image.


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