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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Note About the People You Marry

You know, I hope that if my spouse ever decides to kill me, she’s smarter about it then this dolt – and comes up with a better alibi.

I know, but see, this kind of thing sort of reflects poorly on you, doesn’t it?

People read about this and they don’t think “Oh, that poor woman.”  No. They say to themselves, “What kind of fucking idiot did she marry? Christ, if she’s that stupid, maybe she did wander away, naked into a snow storm…”

Of course, in my case, people would probably say, “It’s about time she got rid of that idiot…”

8 comments:

  1. "But it sounded so much better in my head" is an excuse teenagers make. You'd think they'd get over that once they popped kids out.

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  2. I feel for the poor children. What will happen to them when they realize that their father is an idiot? That their mother had no better sense than to hook up with such a loser?

    I kind of hope she ran away with the milkman, though it is very unlikely.

    pacessil

    An anti-psychotic.

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  3. You know, retaining a lawyer is a smart move. Kind of undercuts the whole stupidity argument, IMO.

    Regardless of innocence or guilt, always lawyer up before talking with law enforcement agents. Then shut up and let the attorneys do the talking.

    Interviews are not fun. Depositions aren't either. All-day video-taped depositions with an AUSA? The worst.

    gonalyp = Dang these newfangled STDs. Not only are they resistant to penicillin, but the doctors also have to surgically remove the resulting gonalyps.

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  4. Jim, if Mrs. SKS ever decided to do you in, no one would ever find the body. Seriously, dude, don't piss her off.

    She'd also be smart enough to keep your blog going long enough to divert suspicion. Which sort of explains the sparsity of blog entries lately, come to think of it...

    ::looks suspicious::

    ourla = Latin for the Hour of your death.

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  5. At least he hasn't fallen back on that old standby ... Mr. Plum, in the kitchen, with a wrench.

    That'd get me looking twice.

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  6. well going camping at midnight in subfreezing temperatures is perfectly normal, if you're in the military and don't have young children with you,this case smells worse than a vegitarian fart and think after winters over they'll find a body

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  7. Maybe her stupid is hereditary 'cause her dad sure can't seem to connect the dots. Hmmmm, wet spot on carpet being dried by fans when police go into house, husband left with kids 2 and 4 to go "camping" in subfreezing weather at 12:30 a.m., husband "forgets" it's Monday while out "camping", husband then hires attorney BUT Gramps doesn't think the husband had a thing to do with his daughter's disappearance. He ought to be singing, "All I want for Christmas is some lum-in-ol"!

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  8. I dunno, the blog posts may be scarce, but they do sound authentically curmudgeonish.

    **

    clede- a special shoe required for kicking politicians.

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