I swear, you just can’t make this shit up.
I promised myself I wouldn’t write another damned thing about Palin.
It’s not like the silly self involved git isn’t getting enough press already.
And then I saw this:
Yes, it’s a new children’s book by Katharine DeBrecht entitled Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country!
From the author of Help! Mom! Liberals Are Hiding Under My Bed! comes “a hilarious and entertaining way for parents to sit down with their children and teach them the origins of the new Tea Party movement and the importance of standing up for liberty and the American Dream.”
The book tells the tale of two young boys (and a rat, if the picture above is accurate - one presumes he’s a Tea Bagger) who want to set up a swing set business but are stymied by the radicals who have taken over the good old God blessed USA. Follow along with struggling young entrepreneurs Tommy and Lou (and a rat) as they fight radicals, progressives, liberals, Satan, and the Ghost of Ted Kennedy. Along the way they meet “246 czars, onerous regulations, and sky-high taxes.”
Enter Governor Sarah, defender of truth, justice, and little Red White and Blue babies (Well, only white, but hey it sounded good), who helps the boys (and a rat) stand up for freedom. Along the way, she’s attacked by fiendish journalists but manages to fend them off with her razor like wit in time to help Tommy and Lou (and a rat) beat the big meany President Obundus.
In an interview with Foxnews (seriously, who else? Right?) DeBrecht says that she’s not just trying to reach children, "I am trying to let all Americans know that these radicals are killing the American Dream, and I want to stop them from hurting people that produce products and provide jobs.”
DeBrecht then further opines, “We need to let our kids know that it is wrong to spread rumors and lies. Unfortunately, many so-called journalists have basically told children that this is permissible as long as you disagree with someone's opinions.
You know, I think she just might be onto something here. Like Ole’ PT said, there’s a sucker born every minute and they’re lining up twenty deep to kiss Palin’s teabag. I bet DeBrecht could crank out a whole series of these things. Sort of a Harry Potter meets Glenn Beck at a Birther Rally kind of deal.
It’ll be huge.
Help! Mom! Ethnic People Are Stinking Up The White House!
Tommy and Lou join a nice conservative activist organization, now calling themselves Wolfgang and Skullcrusher, they lament the good old days, when men were men and minorities were livestock. Governor Sarah explains that black people come from Africa and therefore aren’t real Americans. The book ends with a discussion of forensic techniques and how they can be ignored when it comes to birth certificates from godless heathen states like Hawaii.
Help! Mom! Queers are Making a Mockery Of My Marriage!
The boys visit some famous TV Evangelical Ministries and Governor Sarah comes along to explain the joys of abstinence only birth control and how Barney Frank makes Jesus cry.
Help! Mom! Political Correctness Is Leeching the Enjoyment Out Of My Bigotry!
Governor Sarah teaches the boys about how those darn oversensitive minorities are ruining America. Wolfgang and Skullcrusher then beat up some gay liberals who they think look like they might have called the Govna’s kid a “retard.”
Help! Mom! Fascist Gun Control Is Ruining My Constitution!
Wolfgang and Skullcrusher join the Michigan Militia and contemplate revolution, only Governor Sarah explains that it’s not really revolution if you’re shooting liberals for Jesus. Governor Sarah gives them some pointers on how to take back America for real Americans. The book ends with a dream sequence, Governor Sarah as Commander In Chief, in Wonder Woman leotard, leading Marines against abortion clinics…
Help! Mom! Lazy Shiftless Poor People Are Stealing My Healthcare!
Governor Sarah teaches the boys how healthcare is a birthright from God for congressmen and those with million dollar book deals. Though unemployed since the collapse of their Aryan Nation Swing Set Company, Wolfgang and Skullcrusher enthusiastically embrace Governor Sarah’s Don’t Get Sick Healthcare Plan. Governor Sarah teaches the boys how to help poor people by shouting “Get a job, Hippies!”
Well, hell, look at that, it turns out you can just make this shit up.