"Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House. We are puzzled. It is sad. This is not the Scott we knew," said current White House press secretary Dana Perino, referring of course to her former boss, Scott McClellan.
Au contraire, Ms Perino, Scott McClellan is exactly the brown-nosing, self-serving, power-grubbing little asshole I always thought he was.
As all of you no doubt know, Scott McClellan, former Bush White House press secretary, has followed the well worn path of his ilk and written a book. McClellan's new tell-all memoir, What Happened, was published last week to widespread condemnation - by both stanch Bush White House supporters and basically the other 71% of the American population capable of actually stringing a couple of neurons together. What Happened describes George W. Bush as in a state of "self-deception" and of maintaining a "permanent campaign approach" to the presidency instead of making the best decisions. He didn't out and out say Bush lied about the Iraqi War and the War on Terrorism, but he sure implied it.
Conservatives including the White House, of course, are outraged that McClellan would turn on his former boss in such a manner - calling the memoir "Sour Grapes."
Liberals, of course, are outraged calling it "too little, too late."
Nobody, it seems, likes a traitor.
And McClellan? Scott McClellan is laughing all the way to the bank. His calendar is booked solid, he's been on talks shows, his book is being bashed in every paper across the country, the White House is on his case, people purely hate this guy - and in the tell-all memoir industry you just can't buy publicity like that. It's advertising gold. Amazon is sold out and What Happened is flying off the shelf in the brick and mortar stores.
Really, you've got to admire the shear audacity of this guy. He spent the better part of the last eight years bullshitting the the world as Bush's pet monkey, spinning his little heart out while the White House cranked the handle. While things where going well, he hitched along on Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld's coattails, lapping up the spilled milk of power left behind by men in high places. A proper little sycophantic lickspittle, McClellan demonstrated his undying fealty at every press conference, no matter how batshit insane the message. When the powerful cut loose others around him, McClellan gleefully detailed their failings - never dreaming that the ax would fall on his neck too. He kissed ass and polished Bush's apple and deceived himself into believing that he had a right to the White House's gratitude as a result.
But here's the problem with McClellan's strategy - bullies, no matter if they're the schoolyard variety or of the petty dictator stripe, have no loyalty to anything, especially sycophants. They use people, and they'll discard your ass the minute you become useless. Those who elevate their own self-worth by denigrating and demeaning others, will turn without warning on those who laugh and sneer right along with the joke and think they're part of the inner circle. And this administration has raised that ugly character defect to a high art - starting with Colin Powell and working its way right on down to little pissant dancing monkeys like Scott McClellan.
And true to form, as soon as he was cut loose, McClellan looked around for somebody else to suck up to - and settled on those he had ridiculed and demeaned, the press. With false contriteness he's trying to suck up to us, the America public: he was a fool, a dupe, and pawn. He was deceived, dazzled by Bush's brilliance and charisma. But he sees the light now, oh yes he does.
I'm reminded of another White House mouth piece, Robert McNamara, the arrogant architect of failed Vietnam War policy and the man responsible in large part for 50,000 names on a black marble slab in the Washington D.C. mall. McNamara was one of JFK's whiz kids, and would tolerate no criticism of his boss, either Kennedy nor later Johnson. Next to Jane Fonda, he is arguable the most hated person in America for the Vietnam generation. And true to form, years later he wrote a memoir apologizing for his arrogant unquestioning loyalty to Johnson's insanity. It wasn't his fault, he was deceived and dazzled and duped and blah blah blah, ad nauseam.
If there's any justice in the world, McClellan will be judged by history the same way McNamara is.
A rather large number of folks are calling on McClellan to donate the proceeds of his book sales to Iraqi veterans and their families.
Speaking as an Iraqi veteran myself I say, uh no thanks. Take your money, Monkey Boy, fold it so that it's all sharp corners and shove it up your ass.