Monday, May 5, 2008

Totally More Smarterer

Thanks, John

StupidTester.com says I'm 2% Stupid! How stupid are you? Click Here!

I don't know what sucked my score down by 2%, unless it was whole part where you have to solve for the Special Theory of Einstein's Relatives using nothing but sea cucumbers and an electric train, or something. Actually, I may not be remembering that question correctly.

And just because I can't resist certain types of online tests:

The Zombie Survival Test -- Make and Take a Fun Test @ NerdTests.com's User Tests!


  1. Me too. What was your weapon of choice? I have a feeling we picked the same one.

  2. I'm a zombie killa.

    Which is good, because I HATE zombies.

    Plus, I'm reading the Zombie Survival Guide, just so I'll be prepared.

    Because I really hate zombies.

  3. Machete, what else?

    I like the idea of recreating that scene with Arthur and The Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, only with zombies. Come back here! I'll bite your legs off would be literally true.

  4. I'm a "lone survivor". Apparently, I can take care of myself but my friends are all toast.

    Anyone wanna hang out?

  5. Shotgun was what I was looking for.

    I picked baseball bat because of the mass. Need to knock them back before they bite you. Machete's a bit like a 9mm pistol in my opinion - deadly if you hit them in the right spot, but I want to do some damage even if I only wing them.

    Not to mention that, like a good redneck, I keep a bat right by the front door.

  6. Is there any choice *other* than a machete with zombies in melee combat?

    Nathan, if the zombies come, you are so not hiding under my rock with me.

  7. Michelle - I can't count the times I've swung a machete at some tough creeper vines and had the thing rebound without doing enough damage. If a machete were heavier (and held an edge better), it would be a better weapon. If they had included "katana" I would have picked that.

  8. John,

    I'm actually pretty proficient at using a machete, and being a wimpy girl without much upper body strength, it's a weapon I can easily use for long periods of time without hurting myself or tiring out quickly.

    In fact, there's a machete by my basement door.

    And remember, this is rotting human flesh, not tough creeper vines, so the machete getting stuck is less of a problem.

  9. And remember, this is rotting human flesh, not tough creeper vines, so the machete getting stuck is less of a problem.

    What an awesome line to take out of context!

  10. I'd love to see a good discussion of Counter-Zombie tactics in a zombie movie:

    And remember, this is rotting human flesh, not tough creeper vines, so the machete getting stuck is less of a problem.

    Perfect, followed by John's comment regard the difference between edged weapons and mass.

    And John, I choose shotgun because, well, I'm a big fan of 12ga shotguns, especially the Mossberg MIL500A Marinecoat. I keep one in the shop, just in case a zombie moose or shambling undead bear wanders in. I can shoot all five rounds in under 7 seconds, and reload (either combat load through the ejector port or speed load through the magazine elevator) almost as fast as magazine feed and by feel. This is important, as you want to keep your head up and eyes searching for targets. Plus there's no stopping power like a mixed combat load of slugs and 00Buckshot. Not that I've given this any thought or anything.

  11. Yeah, I'm thinking more along the lines of the zombies in "I am Legend". Not much rotting, there.

  12. And those zombie were fast!

    Shotgun, definitely.

  13. Remember the bit about hating zombies? I've watched parts of a single zombie movie and gone out of my way to avoid them since then, since I was freaked out for a good six months afterwards.

    Know thy enemy doesn't mean watch movies about them in my case. :)

    But if zombies show up in my fantasy, that's ok, if disgusting.

    And if you're really going to take out zombies (of any type) what you really need is a flame thrower.

    It's pretty hard to reanimate if you're a charred lump of melted flesh.

  14. Michelle, flamethrowers are not environmentally friendly. Al Gore would frown on them, and I believe there is a provision in the Kyoto Accord which bans the use of flamethrowers in the event of a zombie outbreak (though it may be only a voluntary compliance requirement, I haven't read it through entirely). Besides creating large amounts of greenhouse gas from the combustion of their napalm propellants and waste heat - flamethrowers leave smoking zombie corpses which emit carbon. And at $4.00 a gallon for gas, and a lot more probably for the jellied gas napalm propellant, really who can afford to operate one?

    I say we herd the Zombies into methane powered wood chippers, the methane provided by biosynthesis of the ground up zombies themselves - self sustaining, environmentally friendly, and really fun!

  15. Michelle, you really need to see "I Am Legend". Beucase the zombies don't make an appearance until well into the flick. You'll be fine. Trust me.

  16. I second John's I Am Legend suggestion - I enjoyed it (but then again I enjoy most Wil Smith Scifi, I do). I'd suggest that you watch The Omega Man right afterwards - vintage 70's Heston. Hysterical in some places, the way Escape from New York was. No blood, other than the obviously fake hollywood variety and no CG. The two movies make an interesting comparison of adaptions of Matheson's original novel.

    Personally, I liked 28 days later as well. The sequel was okay, but not nearly as good.

  17. Well, Michael watched it and enjoyed it and said it was very good, but I just don't know if I can get past the zombies.

    Hell, just thinking about watching a zombie movie is making cold chills run down my back.

  18. Well, there's a cool dog, Michelle. Watch it for that.

  19. Awww, man don't sucker her in with the dog...

  20. I did mention that Michael wanted the movie, right?

    That means he told me about it, so I know all about the dog.

    And Jim, you're a meanie.

    Just sayin'.

  21. Michael watched the movie.


  22. No, no, no. I didn't mean it for that. The dog is cool, the dog is great. Sure the dog has a tragic end, but it's not like you don't see it coming from a mile away.

    OK, fine. Have it your way.

    But, seriously, as far as zombie flicks go, this one is pretty good. And it does end on a hopeful note - as opposed to the 28 months later movie, which ends in a very frightening manner.

  23. Just for the record, I chose the rifle with every intention of taking them out at a distance. The baseball bat is for any who manage to get close.

  24. Well, see Nathan I thought of that, and I am a dammed good shot with a rifle - but, a rifle isn't worth a shit inside a building or in close quarters. I selected the shotgun because with slugs it'll reach out a fair distance and with buckshot it'll work up close and in close quarters. The bat? Hmmmm, well I like the heft, but I want something that's going to separate zombie heads from zombie shoulders on the first swing - i.e. machete. And a shotgun butt makes a pretty fair bludgeon, as I know from personal experience. However, I'm a big fan of mixed weapons make-up on my team, so you carry the bat and rifle, I'll carry the shotgun and machete and between us we should have the bases covered. Well, that and the grenades, but I just assumed we'd both carry those.

    Or am I putting too much thought into this? Can you put too much thought into survival, when zombies are involved? I don't think so.

  25. On second thought - what if we end up facing the zombified corpse of Nancy Kerrigan? Hey, it could happen - you're right, we'd better both carry a bat.

  26. Actually, you don't want a rifle because they're DEAD already, so shooting them isn't going to do a damned thing. You have to blow their heads clean off to stop them, or else blow their legs off, but then they just pull themselves forward by their arms.

    And since they're dead, they don't have pain receptors, so even a nasty wound isn't going to slow them down---they're not using their guts, so who cares if they fall out or not.

    So you want something that's going to destroy, in which case you want a shotgun. And in close combat (which you REALLY don't want) you want something that will take off limbs and heads, preferably heads.

    So a rifle is going to be pretty damned useless, and a handgun won't be much better unless you've got some really nasty explosive rounds. A machine gun might do the same thing, but you'll waste a lot more ammo with a machine gun than you would with a shotgun.


    Not that I've thought about this a lot or anything.

    But really what you want is Vera.

  27. Vera? Did I miss something?

    And I'm not worried about Zombie Nancy Kerrigan. I've got Zombie Tanya Harding neatly folded into a foot-locker. I know Zombies are supposed to be mindless allies, but those two could never lay eyes on each other without ripping the shit out of each other.


  28. Sticking to real weapons, I'll be carrying this one, thankyouverymuch. With the Mossberg 500 Mariner as a backup.

  29. John, I've fired a weapon similar to that, though not that exact model. It jammed, a lot, once it got hot. And it was a bitch to reload the drum mag in any kind of rapid manner.

    Me, I'm more of a fan of manual pump shotguns.

  30. And Michelle, that episode, Our Mrs Reynolds, led to my favorite episode Trash. Saffron was one of the best Firefly villains.

  31. Jim - they claimed they solved the heat transfer problem. ZThere are other videos showing many more rounds being fired.

    But I'm skeptical about the properties at around round 100 or so, too, using plastic casings, and brass is just too dang heavy.

    I'd like to see the raw performance data on that thing, though.


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