Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Look who's not a terrorist (updated)

Well, well, well.

George the Decider signed a bill this morning officially removing Nelson Mandala from the US Terrorist Watch list.

You know, Nelson "The Jackal" Mandela.

Some days I just have to shake my head and wonder at the stupidity.

Seriously, how long has it been that we've demonized Cuba because we don't like the government there? How many regimes has the CIA toppled in order to spread freedom and democracy? How many wars have we fought for the same reason?

But South Africa's former racist, xenophobic, repressive, torturing, murdering Apartheid
government was so important to us that we declared the African National Congress a terrorist organization and Nelson Mandela a terrorist in order to appease them. How is that over the years we've supported "freedom fighters" everywhere from Afghanistan to the Congo to Nicaragua, but somehow in South Africa we sided with a bunch of racist assholes? How is it that it has taken us this long to pull our heads out of our asses and do something about it?

Seriously, folks, if an internationally revered Nobel Laureate was on our terrorist watch list up until yesterday, unable to legally visit the United States, unable to fly on an America aircraft, who the hell else is on it?

I was distracted this morning and somehow forgot to include the whole dammed point of posting this in the first place, which is:

We declared war on terrorism six years ago now, right? And we've been told repeatedly how this administration is diligently pursuing the evildoers, right? We've been told that our procedures have been upgraded, overhauled, imbued with a sense of mission and purpose, right? We've been repeatedly reassured by this President and members of Congress that despite the necessity of certain new acts and laws, American's rights are being protected, right? We've been assured repeatedly that those interred for terrorism are indeed terrorists, right?

And yet, and yet, Nelsen friggin' Mandela is still on our terrorist watch list.

Seriously, folks, if it was just plain old Abdul Smith, one of a hundred 'persons of interest' maybe I could see overlooking it. But, seriously here, Nelson Mandela? Just how up to date is that terrorist watch list anyway? Just exactly how thoroughly has the CIA, FBI, DIA, NSA, and every other three letter idiot governmental intelligence agency been in reviewing and updating that list? Six fucking years since they supposedly overhauled national intelligence and they just now figured this out?

You'd think that in a war on terrorism, the very first thing you'd do is make absolutely sure the target list is up to date - you know, especially if you'd screwed the pooch to the tune of starting a war because you'd misidentified the terrorist targets in the first goddammed place.

Yeah, forgive me if I think my government is being run by a bunch of incompetent boobs.


  1. Tangentially on topic,

    One of the things you Homeland Security dollars helps pay for is having 6-10 cops watching the approaches to every bridge and tunnel in NYC 24 hour a day. Seems reasonable, right? High visibility targets of opportunity, right?

    So, why was a truck able to drive right by the cop watching the Brooklyn-bound lanes of the Brooklyn Bridge earlier today? Hey, you could pack a lot of explosives into a 24' box truck. Oh, and did I mention that trucks aren't allowed on the Brooklyn Bridge at all because of low clearance? You'd think they might notice something like that.

    I really really really think all the money we spend, all the inconveniences we abide, all the erosion of our civil rights is a huge victory for terrorism and we should be a-fucking-shamed of ourselves.

    I cry 'Bullshit'.

    And yeah, having Nelson Mandela on a terrorist list is just fucking brilliant.

  2. Jim, didn't you know: you can be as big an asshole as you want to be if you have oil, gold, uranium, diamonds or some other similarly precious resource. The racist assholes in S. Africa had, what, at least two of those?

    That's why Teodoro Obiang is made of awesome and someone like Castro isn't--and Obiang only has, like, a billion barrels of oil (according to the Slate article linked to, the Saudis have some 260 billion barrels--so it's not like Obiang is swimming in it; but he has it and that's good enough to invite him over for burgers and to use our pool).

  3. Yeah, forgive me if I think my government is being run by a bunch of incompetent boobs.

    Excuse me, but as an owner of a pair of boobs, I'm offended by the comparison.

    My breasts are witty and charming and in no way incompetent.

    Thank you.

  4. Michelle, I'm sure that they are everything you say they are and more, much more. And I'm even going to be gentleman and not demand, demand I say, photographic evidence to back up your claim. Also, my wife would kill me, and may do so anyway.

    However, in the post I was referring to man-boobs. Dick Cheney's for example...

    Nathan, did I win yet?

  5. Jim,

    You may have helped mightily with getting it up to a whopping 80 comments (so far), but today's visits are decidedly average.

    When you win, if you win, it will be for dropping in at the right time...not for dropping 30 comments into one post. (Not that I don't enjoy wildly off-the-rails threads, cuz I do.)

  6. When you win, if you win, it will be for dropping in at the right time...not for dropping 30 comments into one post.

    What? Now there's rules and shit? I thought this was going to be as easy as falling off a log, now there's timing and conditions and shipping and handling and I can't tear the labels off or use near open flame? What the fuck, Nathan?

    Oh and I believe I have now successfully hijacked you blog thread cross continent. La DEE dah, pal.

  7. that would have been funnier if I'd have used the right article, or not italicized the fucking typo.

  8. New Interweeb shorthand: WOTS.

    (Whiskey On The Screen).

    The italics is was made it!

  9. "I was referring to man-boobs."

    Jim, as an owner of man-boobs I'm offended...

    My man-boobs may not be as witty and charming a random michelle k's boobs, but they are also not incompetent.

    Plus, we had to save something up for Nelson's 90th birthday, didn't we? What a lovely gift. :\

  10. I was glad to see that someone else (thanks, Michelle) was incensed about your bad attitude regarding boobs, and grateful for the clarification that it was "man boobs" you were talking about.

    Just like I want to keep Fuck a dirty word, I want to keep Boobs a nice word, evocative of beauty, and all things female and bouncy.

    Thank you for your attention regarding this matter.

  11. I don't think I like the direction this conversation is going.

    Hey I'm a big fan of boobs in general, but really do you want them running the country? Unholstered and unfettered, so to speak? Up front I have to say, the whole thing is a bust, as far as I'm concerned. But you know me, I will always handle your opinions warmly and firmly, tit for tat.

  12. Jim doesn't like the direction this conversation is going. Jim doesn't want boobs running the country...fettered or otherwise.

    Well, sir! I know Boobs! Boobs are my friend. You Sir, are no Boob!

    (That's an insult, by the way)


  13. Hey I'm a big fan of boobs in general, but really do you want them running the country?

    I dunno. Whose boobs?

    Anyway, I guess the lesson I should take for myself is that I should use "dickheads" any time I would consider using "boobs." And also: any time I want to start a discussion about breasts, I ought to mention Nelson Mandala--who knew? Matter of fact, I think I see a post coming.



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