Saturday, July 5, 2008

Good Riddance

As most of you know, I'm not big on religion.

I'm also fairly doubtful as to the existence of any kind of supreme being.

But on a fine, beautiful, and quiet Alaskan morning like this I have a sort of daydream. I like to think that there is a God -  and that's she's black, gay, and in a pissed off mood.

And that Jesse Helms is standing tall in front of her right now.

In my mind's eye, I can see his smug self-righteous face turning pasty white.  In my little fantasy he's pissing in his pants and about to receive his final judgement, which involves fire, brimstone, chains of ice, and eternal damnation for all of his years of small minded bigoted racist hatred.  If there is indeed a God, then I sincerely hope that ole Senator No spends eternity getting a richly deserved high colonic from Satan himself.

Of course, back here in reality, I strongly suspect nothing of the kind. I tend to believe that death is the end, and once Jesse Helms is planted in the soil of his backward assed state he'll spend the rest of eternity moldering beneath his beloved Confederate flag. And I'm good with that too.

Fuck Jesse Helms and the white sheet he rode in on, good riddance. 


  1. Jim,

    You're gonna get hurt if you keep bottling up your feelings like that.

  2. With Jesse Helms dead, I'm having a great day!

  3. Nah.

    I hope God is as you describe. And I hope that when she sees him she gives him a big hug and forgives him.

    That would probably be far harder for him to take.

  4. If there was a God, she would have taken Jesse home three or four or even five decades ago back when he was actively poisoning North Carolina with his naked bigotry and ignorance and doing what he could to spread it to the rest of the country and the world.

    Helms spent the last few years in an elderly stupor. I'd probably have a bigger reaction to his death if he'd been relevant or meaningful at any time in the last few years. And meanwhile, we have people like Representative Myrick representing us nationally and making us look like 'tards. Which maybe brings up point two on the God score: if there was a God and she wasn't going to take Jesse from us (and who would want him?), maybe she could have at least afflicted the racists who voted for him time and time again with boils or locusts or boils that released locusts when they burst open.

    Helms was one of the worst things to happen to North Carolina since the Civil War. He made us look like trash, he brought our our worst citizens' worst behavior every election day, catered to this state's racist and paranoid elements and rubbed salt in their wounds, and he didn't even bring home the bacon--he was at least so consistent in his principles that he regularly voted against government spending that would bring money to North Carolina.

    He was a fool and a rotten, vicious little prick and I had to live with him as one of my elected leaders for the first thirty years of my life.

    Hell's too good for him, and I'm not going to say anything more about the matter.

  5. Eric, man, I wish I'd said it half so eloquently.

  6. Between the two of you, that's why I don't even try.

  7. *sings*

    "Ding, Dong, The Witch is dead! The Wicked Witch! The Wicked Witch! Ding, Dong, the Wicked Witch is dead!"

  8. Along with Jerry Falwell, I now have two graves to go dance on.

  9. This morning, per a decree of the (Democratic) Governor, all the flags are at half-mast for Jesse Helms.

    Just thought I'd pass that along. You lucky bastards.


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