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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Jerkoff of the week, yet another failure of leadership

Seriously, folks, I have not the words.

I do not.

Way to go Generals. Really stellar way to set an example. What fine warriors you are indeed.

No really, I'm sure the guys down there in the mud who don't have the funds to perform their fucking mission are looking up right now and thinking "Hey, at least those pink assed four-stars are up there riding in comfort. You know, in this war on terror, what really matters is not that I've been deployed into the hot zone three dammed times without body armor or proper equipment, no what matters is that the General's jammies are color coordinated with his Air Force blue flying barcalounger. By God, that makes me proud to be an American. That is just plain world fucking class there, fellas."

I've seen a lot of ridiculous, self serving bullshit from senior officers during my twenty years in the military, but this is right up there on the top of the dung heap. This pisses me off so dammed bad that if I ever happen to cross one of these 4-star assholes I will slap the ever living shit out of him, you can dammed well bet on it.

World class there, General McMahon? Yeah, you're a world class jerkoff, is what you are.

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You know, it occurs to me that I'm missing an opportunity here:

1. Take one of these "Comfort Capsules." Load it on a rough field capable C-130. Insert General.
2. Nod attentively as the 4-star world-class asshole explains where he needs to go (Bermuda, Golf Tournament for example).
3. Salute smartly. Close up Comfort Capsule, sealing General Fuckstick inside in air conditioned comfort.
4. Rotate.
5. Once airborne, point the aircraft towards northwest.
6. Seven hours later land at remote Oliktok Point, Alaska (Abandoned DEW Line radar station on the edge of the Beaufort Sea, about a thousand miles from anything).
7. Offload capsule.
8. Tape note to door of capsule, "Have a nice day, [signed] Your VIP crew." Also thoughtfully tape a raw steak to the door, polar bears love raw steak. They also love stupid Generals.
9. Rotate.
10. Circle landing site with cameras at the ready until General opens capsule door.
11. Wave.
12. RTB (return to base).
13. Mission Complete.

8 comments:

  1. I think you missed the most important part of the article...one that you would actually be pleased with.

    The portion of planes reserved for enlisted will include a shop area and more importantly the "relaxation lathe" where enlisted personnel are invited to "ream senior officers a new one".

    You'll arrive at your designated hot zone completely dis-stressed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is AF senior leadership through and through, from my experience with them.

    I'm reminded of Vineagar Joe's message to the Major hea asked to be his adjutant:

    "I'll be a new kind of Gerneal, and you cna be a new kind of aide".

    Obviously, the reforms didn't stick.

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  3. I feel an aneurysm coming on.

    An aneurysm named "General McMahon."

    Fucking 'tard.

    "Proud to be an American, yesiree, Bob."

    ReplyDelete
  4. "(the seats) including some that match those on commercial airliners, may be fine for airmen and troops but inadequate for the top brass."

    That to fit their big fat asses on. Holy sharp point to the rear fucking crap.

    Say, just make sure these "capsules" (talk about existing in a bubble) fit in the cargo bays of the C-130 and forget the fucking parachute. Take 'em up to altitude and roll their asses out the back.

    (so not happy to be former AF right at the moment)

    This is why guys used to have special bullets for their commanding officers ("I'm saving this one up").

    Or, make the capsules explosion proof so when the airman serving coffee frags their washrag stars, the aircraft will survive.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is a surprise why? Welcome to the stupidity of a lot (not all) of top brass in ALL branches of the military. And it starts at the top, with Georgie-boy and good ol' Don Rumsfeld and his "...you have to go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you want."

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  6. Vince, ALL branches of the military

    True, unfortunately.

    Of course, these are the same guys who constantly talk about "taking care of the troops."

    Assholes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Gig is up. Jim has been inspired and yesterday we started construction on our very own woodshop comfort capsule. Sound proofed, forced air, not a lounge chair but one of those folding vinyl and metal tube jobs with the beer holder in the armrest. It may not be fancy but hey it's color coordinated, easy to move and there are even a couple of holes to look out of at the sawdust piling up. photos to come!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Welcome to the stupidity of a lot (not all) of top brass in ALL branches of the military."

    That is very true Vince, but in my experience, the AF has the greatest stupidity to star ratio of all the sevices, followed closely by the Army. The Navy (and specifically the USMC) had the least, at least when it came to the officers who interacted with their civilian contractors in the 1990s. I have had no contact with military brass since about 1999, so I may be out of date.

    ReplyDelete

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