Jim is on vacation in the swamps of the Florida Panhandle, pity him.
In response to a number of recent moral failings by prominent republicans and culminating this week with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's marriage reinforcing dalliance with an Argentinian national, the Republican Party of Superior Moral Non-Hypocrisy Family Values has decided to change its anti-gay rallying cry to:
Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman + 1 hooker + 1 neighbor's daughter + 1 one congressional aide + 1 illegal alien nanny + 1 one campaign office secretary + 1 foreign intelligence operative + 1 farm animal of your choice + plus various guys you meet in public restrooms + 1 underage congressional page + 2 divorces + 3 episodes of alcoholism or drug abuse (with or without a secret homosexual liaison which doesn't count because God forgives you because you were high and you've been "rehabilitated") + 1 secret bastard child by a woman of a hyphenated-American race who was once your family's maid. But no Goddamned queer marriages because Jesus hates them and doesn't want them to be married because that would destroy traditional marriage and moral values. So there and let us pray.
They're having a little trouble fitting it on the bumper-stickers though.