Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thank YOU, Sarah Palin

Is it just me?

Or does it seem that there are a whole lot more stupid people than there used to be?

I'm not talking about people who have some type of structural or developmental defect in their neural network. No. I'm talking about those who have the mental tools, but refuse to actually use them for anything other than a hammer.

I'm talking about that half of the human race who willingly fall below the average mean, intelligence wise - and not only delight in it, but are deliberately doing everything they can to push the average even lower.

I'm talking about people who label intellect as 'elitist' and use the word as a curse. I'm talking about people who willing and deliberately wallow in ignorance and stupidity.

Yeah, those idiots.

Seems like there are a whole lot more of them than there used to be. So many so that they're forming into groups now and advertising their stupidity on TV.

Stupid. I've talked about this before. I've gone so far as to identify recognizable rules governing stupidity:

    1. Stupid is logarithmic
    2. Stupid is a self attractor
    3. Stupid evolves
    4. Stupid abhors a vacuum
    5. Stupid doesn't discriminate
    6. Stupid loves technology
    7. Stupid is insidious
    8. Stupid is tenacious
    9. Stupid is fun
    10. Stupid is profitable

Refer to Wright's Stupid List for my rigorously scientific analysis of human stupidity and a detailed explanation of the above rules.

Today, I've identified a new stupid rule:

11. Stupid is proud to be stupid

Take this bunch of idiots, for example. They've gone so far as to elect themselves a queen.

Yeah, what were the ingredients again for moose chili?

The stupid, it burns.


  1. The "Stop Obama Tour." Oh Christ on a pogo-stick, I feel the need to purchase a firearm again (haven't felt that way since Buchannon addressed the RNC back in the 90s).

  2. OMG!! ...cleans PB&J off screen

    too funny.

    Off-line for a few days -
    Have a great Thanksgiving...and if you see that freakish govornor breed of turkey, well, you should know what to do...


  3. I hope you're satisfied, Wright.

    My brain exploded all over the Boogie-Dog after "articulate."

    And the cleaning service won't be here for another hour.

    Seriously? Who thinks like this?

    Oh, that's right...

  4. Although I do have to agree with their meta them, with just two caveats . Thank you Sara Palin (for helping John McCain lose), our country does deserve better (than the politics you embraced on the VP trail).

  5. That's hysterical. It's a lot like the SNL bit where they wrote almost nothing and had Tina Fey just quoting Palin directly.

  6. Well, see, I originally thought it was a joke, and that would actually have been funny.

    But, last night I saw this commericial on TV. Gak! They're not joking. They're actually running this here in Alaska.

    On the other hand, between this group of idiots and Joe the Blogging Plumber's Helper, we ought to have enough fodder for years of humorous blog posts.

    Seriously though, if Palin truly is planning a run at the White House in '12, these are the people who will be her core supporters. Good luck with that. The rallies ought to be interesting, in a funny sort of way.

  7. They're still flogging the horse, huh? hm. I thought they were done after the election.

    Articulate? Please. I get more meaningful dialog from my cat when we talk about shop stuff. (Yes, I talk to the shop cat...)

    They're actually trying to preserve her 'image' and future options?

    "This woman’s reputation is going to be so damaged that she can never be a national political figure..." So the goal of [one of] the ad[s] is to "preserve her options."

    Yep - our country deserves better, Sarah - better than the cluelessness and out-of-touchness that you offer. A small example? watch the background of this video You may have to watch it again (or listen) to catch the same babble as before the election. sigh...

    Where's my dramamine?

  8. When I saw their group's name in the ADN yesterday I thought it was a joke, and read the article and realized it wasn't. I've not seen the TV ad yet.

    I think Joel Southern has a good point about Alaska and politics in his essay on the APRN site. He's on Talk of Alaska right now.

  9. Oh, and in the video that Karl linked to - it's in Jim's neighborhood, and Karl and I have to decide what to do about some turkeys down there. :)

  10. That is just too bizarre - the production values, the strange statements... it doesn't seem like it could be real.


  11. I heard a snippet of that on the Stephanie Miller Show this morning, so I knew about its existence, but the sheer what-the-fuckedness is almost unbelievable.


    (Some people will buy any piece of bullshit. The last eight years are proof of that.)

  12. Apropos of nothing, I really like the latest banner. Yay U-shaped valleys! :)

  13. What MWT said. And is that Putin I see in the background?

  14. Articulate? Are you fucking kidding me?

    Nice picture though!

  15. Let's just say, Michelle, that Palin sounded good to them.

  16. Oh, and the banner is the view from Hatcher's Pass down into the MatSu, taken just before the snow fell. Right in the middle, way down there in the valley, that tiny, tiny speck? That's my house.

  17. Jim,

    If she sounded so good, then why, in all the montages, is she silent?

  18. I've only seen the tag, but not the actual news item. But on Keith Olberman, is John McCain announcing he'll run in '12?

    If so, uh what will Governor Sarah have to say about running aginst that Maverick?

    The valley shot is totally awesome. We have empty corn fields and abandoned bad Christmas tree farms here.

    Dr. Phil

  19. abandoned bad Christmas tree farms ...

    "Don't go to the Mitchell farm."

    "What? Why?"

    "Not a safe place. They had to abandon five years ago after the blight."

    "Blight? What blight?"

    "The Ives Blight."

    "Ivy blight? Why would that affect a farm?"

    "Not ivy--Ives. Like Burl Ives. You know, the singer?"

    "Why the hell would they name a blight after a singer?"

    "Well, you see the Mitchell's grew Christmas trees..."

    "A tree blight? Hell, I thought you said it was dangerous, like mad cow or something."

    "Oh, it's dangerous. Trust me. We lost three men, a deputy, and a whole lot of livestock before the place was cordoned off."

    "You're screwing with me, right?"

    "Hey, you wanna take your life in your own hands, feel free. But good luck getting over the concertina wire."

    "You're serious?"


    "Well what the hell could have happened at a Christmas tree farm? Some sort of industrial accident?"

    "Well, they're not really sure. Closest we can guess is a combination of over-fertilization and contamination from GM crops. All we know is that the trees just... went bad."

    "Bad, as in spoiled? As in rotten?"

    "Bad as in a Rottweiler crossed with a great white shark crossed with a balsam fir."


    "I'm serious. The trees just became... dangerous somehow. Jim Mitchell went out to start the harvest, didn't come back. Penny--who was nursing at the time and didn't want to leave the house--called Jim's brother to go look. He didn't come back. Pansy--Bob's wife, had come over with him to help Penny out, and when neither man returned, they called 911."
    "In the meantime, they discovered that half the livestock--including all the chickens--was missing. Deputy went out with a member of the local search and rescue."
    "They kept radio contact in case they needed back-up. Got out to the fields, where they said they saw shredded clothing and a whole lot of feathers. We heard Deputy Dwight yell once in terror, and then nothing."
    "Next day they went out and saw clothes and feathers scattered high in the branches. Got Penny and Pansy the hell outta there, then came back with flame throwers. Only to discover the field had shifted somehow, and there was bog between the road and the trees. They tried the flame throwers, but nothing. Couple people tried off and on for the next couple weeks, but all that happened is Fife lost part of his leg."
    "After that, we put up the fence and tell people to stay the hell away."

    "You expect me to believe that line of shit?"

    "Up to you. But before going out there I'd head down to the library and ask for the file on the Mitchell farm. Read what's in there first. They even got pictures."

    "Shit. Bad Christmas trees. Sounds like a really shitty Hollywood Christmas special."

  20. So, is "not so young" the new politically correct term for "old" now or something, and I missed it?

    People try to put us d-down
    (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
    Just because we get around
    (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
    Things they do look awful c-c-cold
    (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
    I hope I die before I get not-so young
    (Talkin' 'bout my generation)

    Yeah. That would suck.


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