_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday, January 16, 2009

Battlestar Galactica, Season 4 Opener Explained

The Earth wasn't destroyed by Cylons.



It only seemed that way because they landed in New Jersey.

15 comments:

  1. Ahem. New Jersey is a fine state. Asshole. (Not that I watched the show...)

    ReplyDelete
  2. OK, Jim's not an Asshole, he's a Cylon. That explains a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Land in New Jersey
    or
    land in the river.

    The hero choose the river,
    it was safer than New Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "This is not the Earth you're looking for." (makes hand motion)

    "This isn't the Earth we were looking for."

    "Take the fleet to the nearest F, G or K star and look for a new home."

    "Attention. We're taking the fleet to the nearest F, G, or K star and we're looking for a new home."

    "And you should really cut down on the drinking."

    "And I'm going to... aw fuck it. We're all going to die! And I'm taking you all with me!"

    I think that gets us up to speed.

    Dr. Phil

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah.

    Ten more episodes of angst, anger, and endless drunken diatribes.

    For the love of God, just get on with it. It's like a soap opera with bad lighting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Still, I think they've done marvelous things with the hidden Cylons, and finding the missing Viper closes a loop which has been begging to be closed for some time.

    The one suicide was frighteningly real -- say goodbye to people, make everyone think you're happy, then...

    Dr. Phil

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh sure, Phil, agreed.

    But, we've got all of these smart people, right? Super genius in the case of Baltar. And not one of them has stopped to say, "Hey! WTF! Somebody is pulling our strings. There's all this shit going on, signals, music in cylon heads, memories, faux Starbuck's ship, cylons who are far older than possible, cylons who have history and capability far, far, far, beyond anything ever designed into them, hints left by the ancients, and etc ad nauseum - obviously driven by some form of intelligence. Who is that? Let find him and beat some answers out of him!"

    My guess? The Lords of Kobal.

    Instead, is the Jerry Springer show.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Also, left out - Magic Baby!

    Cylon/human babies.

    Cylons/human can interbreed.

    This is a huge deal. Why?

    Nobody ever asks the questions.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And why has no one ever made a big deal about Tyrol's baby being hybrid #2, and backup savior of the universe as we know it? Is it because, with Callie's geneset, it's doomed to fail?

    I woke up this morning thinking about the Dualla scene. It was pretty high impact.

    ReplyDelete
  10. hey now, some of us grew up in Jersey. Souther Jersey, but still.

    Know what NJ has the highest concentration of toxic waste dumps and DC has the highest concentration of lawyers? NJ got first pick.

    Haven't been watching BG, just never got sucked in by the story plot. I think I'll wait for the continuous reruns. So I maybe speaking out of my ass here, Jeri, but every savior needs their Baptist.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It could have been worse. They could have found 1970s America. Personally, I think a nuclear wasteland was a step up. It's certainly prettier.

    I feel so old. I watched the original when I was a kid. Even way back then, I thought them finding 1970s Earth was bogus.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Steve, does it mean anything if I am from NJ and now live in the DC area?

    ReplyDelete
  13. neurondoc, yes, but I'm too polite to say it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. The simple truth is they're all cylons...

    ReplyDelete

Be sure to read the commenting rules before you start typing. Really.