I've often thought the United States would be a better place if it were legal to just smack the shit out of stupid people.
You know, as a public service.
There's an old adage when it comes to training dogs: It's never, ever necessary to hit an animal ... but sometimes you've got to rap that sucker hard right across the nose to get its attention.
See, behavior modification, that's what I have in mind.
Just slap the stupid right out them. Nothing else seems to work. Not reason, not logic, not education, self-interest, nothing. Electroshock seems a tad extreme, but only a tad - and it takes special equipment (Though in certain cases, I could see spending public money to equip especially persistent stupid people with those electroshock collars used to train dogs). No, a slap seems about right, and anybody can do it.
Think of it like an intervention:
"Say, Bob, I've been thinking about joining that Church of L. Ron Hubbard. The one all the Hollywood stars belong to. See, you give them all of your money, and they help you get rid of the invisible alien ghosts hiding in your brain! Here's a pamphlet. Sounds good to me. Whatdayathink?"
"Ow! Hey! But Tom Cruise said..."
"Whoa, what the fuck was I thinking? Thanks, Bro. You saved my ass."
See, like that.
Think about it for a moment. Think of how much better the world would be if you could just slap stupid when you see it. You'd feel better. Lower stress. Less frustrated. The stupid would be reduced. All of us benefit.
This could be the thing that pulls the economy out of the drain. Not only would the idiots who got us into this mess get slapped around, but whole new industries could be created: remote slapping devices, devices to assist the handicapped in slapping, slapping instructors and courses to help identify proper technique and targeting, ear plugs manufacturing to help protect the population's hearing from the shear volume of all that slapping, proxy slapping services. Sure it'll be rough at first, but things will quiet down after a while, as the stupid gets knocked out of people.
Some people though, are going to get smacked around a lot. Just like with dogs, some are just not trainable. Despite everything you do, some people just persist in their stupidity.
Take this guy for example: Leo Donofrio. Leo filed suit in New Jersey during the election to challenge Barack Obama's citizenship. Leo lost. He lost for a number of rather obvious reasons not the least of which is the fact that Obama's birth certificate has been verified by the State of Hawaii and a dozen Federal agencies. It's really just that simple. Obama then went on to become the President-elect. This does not please Leo or his idiot friends. So he then appealed. Tomorrow the US Supreme Court will review the case and make a determination whether or not to take it up. Legal experts say that there is little likelihood that SCOTUS will actually rule on the case, but this stupidity is still sucking up government time, resources, and money. Somebody needs a good slap up side their head is what I'm saying here.
Leo's not alone either, there's plenty of stupid to go around. Alan Keyes is suing to halt certification of the California election. A guy in Kentucky brought suit seeking to have a federal judge review Obama's original birth certificate rather than allow the nation to just take Hawaii's word for it. Andy Martin filed a similar suit in Hawaii, and six more cases pretty much exactly the same have been filed elsewhere. Most have been dismissed. Then there's a guy who filed suit in Hawaii against the "Peoples Association of Human, Animals Conceived Gods and Religions, John McCain, and the USA Government" who wants Obama's citizenship revoked. This guy also previously sued Wikipedia and "All News Media" for perpetuating what he sees as false information about Obama and various other people. And, of course, the most famous case questioning Obama's citizenship was the one filed in Pennsylvania last August on behalf of Phil Berg, who sought to prevent the DNC from nominating Obama in the first place. Uh, he lost - for the those of you not paying attention.
Now seriously folks, what's it going to take? Barack Obama's citizenship, his natural born citizenship, has been verified. No really. The State of Hawaii has verified the birth certificate. A number of Federal agencies have verified the birth certificate and Obama's background in detail. You may never have had a security clearance, but I have and I'm telling you that when you get the kind of background checks required for a clearance the FBI knows what kind of diapers your mother pinned to your dirty ass as a baby. But nothing, nothing, will ever convince these idiots. Nothing. Not even if they held Obama's birth certificate in their own little sweaty hands. The man isn't even president yet, and these idiots are spinning out conspiracy theories like crazed Loch Ness Monster hunters. The Internet is full of their bullshit. Not one shred of proof to support their claims actually exists - well unless you include the "inconsistencies between the English and Italian translations of the Wikipedia" that a couple of these retards claim as evidence in support of their silliness. Their paranoia would be almost funny if it wasn't so damned stupid. And it is stupidity, not skepticism, not a desire for truth, or any actual verified information. Stupidity, plain, simple, deliberate, and booger eating
I mean, seriously folks, this kind of stupidity is what the end result of anti-intellectualism, anti-elitism looks like. This kind of stupidity, this reveling in stupidity, is what the future of Neocon evolution, (ur, sorry Neocon intelligent design) looks like. Right here.
Somebody needs to knock some sense into these people.