Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ask Stonekettle Station

“When your sending a vibe at a girl what does it mean if you feel like your goin to vomit (sic)”

Well there are a number of answers to this one.

1) it means that you realize that you’re damned near illiterate and it makes you sick to your stomach.

2) it means that the girl you’re sending the vibe at is wearing vibe reflective clothing and your nauseating pervert waves are bouncing straight back at you. Honest to God, man, now you know why all the woman around you vomit continuously in your presence. Turn that shit off. (Dude, I’m totally serious - remember Niven’s Law: Never fire a laser at a mirror).

3) You thought you sent your girl the movie Vibes starring Jeff Goldblum and Cyndi Lauper, but belatedly realized that you sent her Vibe starring Sinbad. The sudden mental B-movie image of a Goldblum/Lauper/Sinbad mashup caused your stomach to clench tighter than Roman Polanski’s butt cheeks in a California prison shower and the thought of your girl thinking you wanted to watch a Sinbad movie with her makes your bowels turn to water like Jessica Simpson with a major case of the herbal colon blow.

4) You have swine flu. You're going to die.

Pick the answer that most suits your particular vibe.


  1. Man, I don't even know where to begin. I keep wondering whether one should take those intimate products for Him and for Her, and change the formula to include a binary contact explosive... There are ways of being a living Darwin Award winner...

    Dr. Phil

  2. What on earth is "sending a vibe at a girl?" (Sending a vibrator is a completely different thing, I assume.)


    How on earth do you get listed in Google for crazy stuff like that? (Not that I *want* to have the morons visit... not at all.)


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