Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Politically Incorrect


"I believe what you have is a group of people centered in the Justice Department and the Attorney General, whose law firms all gave pro bono support to terrorism.  They start every day with a presumption that the rights of terrorists are more important than the lives of Americans."

So said Newt Gingrich to Bill O’Reilly on Fox News last night.

Yes, that’s right, New Gingrich, on national television, just accused Attorney General Eric Holder and the senior members of the DOJ of treason.

Treason, that’s what you call it when members of the government give aid and comfort to the enemy.

And that’s what Gingrich says the Department of Justice is doing, giving free and willing support to terrorism (actually, if the government gives aid and comfort to the enemy it would be state sponsored terrorism as defined by international agreement [or Support for Freedom Fighters if done by a Republican Administration through the CIA without the concurrence of Congress, but I digress] and not technically treason, but for the sake of simplicity and so as not to confuse the NeoCons in the room we’ll just call it treason. K?).

Gingrich dragged out the NeoCon hobbyhorse and saddled up in leather chaps and spurs:

"Today, because our elites fear politically incorrect honesty, they believe that it is better to harass the innocent, delay the harmless, and risk the lives of every American than to do the obvious, the effective, and the necessary."

You got to hand it to him, in one sentence he managed to invoke two of the conservatives’ biggest and most fearsome bogymen, the terrifying soul stealing liberal elites before which all right and true patriots must quail, and the inky black legion of political correctness which has been the cause of every terrorist attack, hijack, intelligence lack, economic downturn,  lost dog, lost election, and erectile dysfunction since the Revolution.

Gingrich didn’t say what he really meant, of course, he didn’t out and out use the word treason, but his implication was obvious and as clear as if he’d shouted it straight into Bill O’Reilly’s pasty face.  O’Reilly, of course, was delighted and swallowed Gingrich’s completely unsubstantiated and unsupported statements like a milksnake swallowing a corpulent shithouse rat, jaws extended, eyes bulging, muscles straining to gulp down a furry chittering load of pestilence bigger than its head.  FoxNews viewers virtually swooned and eagerly attacked the bones of this noxious feast when O’Reilly regurgitated them up moments later.



You know, I laugh when the Birthers and the Truthers and the Teabaggers and the other goofy bastards make such claims.  It’s funny. It’s like watching a cat with a piece of tape stuck on its paw, confused cross-eyed expression, increasing panic, random Brownian movements, spastic gyrations, finally exhausted collapse…followed by a half hour of licking its own asshole.  Really, who doesn’t enjoy watching that?  I’m less amused when clueless idiots like Chuck Norris wade into the fray – why would anybody take Norris any more seriously than any other entertainer?  Sure he can karate chop a cement block with his forehead – and in fact might have done that just once too often – but politically Norris has less going on than that guy who used to play Gopher on the Love Boat.  I’m even less amused when demagogues like Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh parrot this garbage, but in those cases my contempt is mostly confined to the same level of irritation I have for any obnoxious blowhard – seriously, both of these guys remind me of that loud drunk who decorates the end of every dive bar and who you’ll inevitably find later, face down in a congealed puddle of their own puke, on the dirty urine crusted floor of a men’s room stall. 

But it really chaps my ass when this kind of ridiculous bullshit comes from somebody who ought to know better.

I’m about fed up with this ignorant childish nonsense, this pandering to the lowest common denominator, the rabble rousing rhetoric.  It’s never enough to say, “I don’t agree with my opposition,” or “I would have done something different.” No, the Conservatives in this country can only seem to resort to this kind of ridiculous hyperbole – and hyperbole it is and nothing more.  No one, not even the most fervent Teabagger, actually believes in their heart of hearts that Eric Holder or Barack Obama get up every morning and eat their Fascist-O’s with a cup of low-fat milk from Marxist cows and a sprinkling of Cuban sugar, and puts on their Evil Overlord Helmet and gleefully cozies up to terrorists over the rights of the American people. 

Make no mistake, Newt Gingrich isn’t stupid.  He’s a damned intelligent guy actually. While a porch-light crazy moonbat such as Orly Taitz might actually believe the garbage that spills out of her mouth like the drool from a heavily medicated mental patient, Newt damned well knows that he is talking out of his big white ass.    He’s too damned intelligent not to. His nonsense is easily proved wrong, and he knows it. But he also knows that his knuckle dragging followers won’t ask.  Notice Gingrich offered up no proof of this treason (The only crime specifically defined by the Constitution, a death sentence in time of war, and one hell of an accusation for someone of Gingrich’s statue to level at a sitting President and the Attorney General).  No proof whatsoever.  He offered no explanation of how treating the Underwear Bomber within the letter of American law actually deprives Americans of their rights or makes America less safe or panders to the enemies of the United State in any way whatsoever. Or why adhering to our own law in the case of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is treason, but why it wasn’t when the previous Conservative administration did exactly the same thing with Richard Reid, the Shoe Bomber.  Or Joseph Padilla, the Dirty Bomb guy.  See, the people he was speaking to last night don’t need any such explanation and it would never occur to them to demand one because they are utterly incapable of understanding the inherent hypocrisy and are used to double think.  They’re already convinced Obama is a traitor, Gingrich is just telling them what they want to hear.

For a guy that talks about the greatness of America and who bangs the drum of Patriotism at every conservative parade, Gingrich’s words demonstrate an astounding lack of faith in that self same American system.  For a man who is a member of a political party that likes to wave little pamphlets with the Constitution printed inside, his words betray a profound lack of confidence in that very document, the ideals it embodies, and the nation it guides.

So what’s he up to?

He’s thinking about the Oval Office, of course…and how he’d look sitting in the big chair. 

See, Gingrich knows that in order to make a run at the White House in 2012 - and to challenge the frigid NeoCon Ice Queen of the North - he needs to rally the base.  And base is exactly the right word here, as in base element, base emotion, base impulse, and base intelligence.  The base in this case is a bunch of mouth breathing conspiracy nuts who dream about a return to the good old days when “American” meant white people who speak English and believe in Jesus, economic stimulus meant carpet bombing the crap out of funny looking people in a foreign land, and the HUAC was just good clean fun.  The base in this case wants to believe that liberals are stealing their country, that their neighbors are the enemy, their government is in league with terrorists, and their president is the literal antichrist. The base are those people who disrupted townhall meetings with childish antics and then complained bitterly that their voices weren’t heard. The base in this case are the same idiots who use ‘fascist’ and ‘socialist’ as modifiers for the same proper noun and yet consider themselves politically savvy and well informed on the issues.  The base in this case are those who think America can ignore her own laws when they become inconvenient and still be a beacon of liberty and justice and freedom – and anybody who says otherwise, well, we’ll kill those fuckers.  The base in this case are those who think respect is earned through force and that there is no problem that can’t be solved by blowing shit up, outlawing abortion, and a monster truck rally. 

I’ll tell you, if this kind of crap is what Newt means by “politically incorrect honesty” then he can keep it to himself.

The GOP deserves him.


It is entirely possible that Driftglass and I were separated at birth.   What he said.  Tip of the hat to Serving Patriot for the link.


  1. I recall a time when airplanes were regularly hijacked to Cuba ("do want to leave on 07:30 hijacking flight or wait until the 08:00 direct flight?") and no one made a big deal out of it. Now someone lights his underwear on fire and the whole world goes crazy. Sometimes I long for the sanity of the Nixon era. Oh, wait a minute ...

    dersisa: Dersisa and derbrotha are playing in the back yard.

  2. Gingrich dragged out the NeoCon hobbyhorse and saddled up in leather chaps and spurs


  3. Chris, he didn't say assless chaps. There's plenty of ass inside those chaps to begin with, they need the extra support.

    syrionin - what you take to counter-act Syriana.

  4. Great post, Jim. I'm simultaneously glad that I don't watch television and bummed that I miss all these Fox nuggets.

    But now I want a Dark Overlord Helmet® for working in the shop. :|

    amess - what the shop is looking like after this last weekend's workings.

  5. Jim,

    How can you still watch cr*p like that? I gave up long long ago.

    So many of those yahoos had a lot of other priorities when their country needed them. And none of those priorities was serving. Chickenhawks all.

    Driftglass points out why the Newts continue to get airtime. It has a lot to do with the Morans. Check it out.


  6. No sacrifice is too great for you guys, SP.

  7. That Driftglass post was outstandingly MORANic, SP. ;)


    The rest of you, go follow SP's link right now.

    Do it.

  8. Jim,

    thanks. and back at you friend.

    And yes, sometimes I think Drifty is your brother by another name!



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