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Friday, July 31, 2009

A Conversation With My 6-Year Old Neighbor

 

I was in the shop, this is the song that was on the sound system. Play it loud (Anybody know who the bassist is? You don’t get anything if you’re right, but I’d be very impressed).

 

I was indexing pieces prior to cutting them on bandsaw. I had the music turned up. I was grooving right along. Looked up. Neighbor kid standing in the open highbay door.

This kid’s middle name must be “Crap,” he loves the word.

Kid: What’s this crap?

Me: Excuse me?

KId: What’s this crap?

He kind of vaguely waves around, I understand he’s referring to my music selection.

Me: This is John Lee Hooker, one of the greatest blues singers that ever lived.

Kid: What?

Me: John Lee Hooker, the song is Boom Boom. I take it you don’t like it?

Kid: It’s crap.

Me: You say that about every song I play. What kind of music do you like?

Kid: Not the crap kind. Don’t you have any music that’s not crap?

Me: Well, let me think about it for a minute.  Say, has anybody told you about the monster?

Kid: What monster?

Me: I probably better not say anything.

Kid: Tell me.

Me: Well, there’s been this monster seen in the neighborhood lately, and…

Kid: What, what?

Me: I better not say.

Kid: TELL ME!

Me: Okay. It’s long and slimy and goes around like a giant snake with eight legs.  It crawls in your window at night and wraps around you and…

Kid: What! What!

Me: It sucks your eyeballs out.

Kid: NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY!

Me: Yep. You can protect yourself though…

Kid: Tell me!

Me: It hates John Lee Hooker music. You have to listen to it all the time, really loud. That’s why I have it playing in the shop, so the eye sucker monster doesn’t get me.

Kid: Really?

Me: Ayep.  You better get yourself some of that.

Kid: Moooooooooooom! [disappears down the drive]

 

I’m sort of hoping he went home and told his mom he needed a hooker so the eye sucker… uh, never mind.

 

Calling Johnny Lee crap, I hope he has nightmares.

Better yet, maybe the eye sucker monster will get him – that’ll teach him to appreciate the blues.

15 comments:

  1. Ahh, young'ns during the fully naive and gullible stage. ;)

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  2. Bass player here, and if I had to guess without looking it up I'd say Donald "Duck" Dunn. Also played with Booker T and the MGs and lots of others.

    Both he and JLH were in the Blues Brothers movie, by the way.

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  3. sorry, that should have been posted as "mensley".

    I need to disable my old "fatoudust" blogger account as when I'm also logged into gmail it over-rides.

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  4. You are correct, Mark, it's Dunn.

    And Booker T and the MG's are also on my play list. You know your Blues.

    And, of course, they were in the Blue Brothers as part of Murf and the Murftones if I remember right.

    How much for the leetle girl? Man I love that movie. My neighbor would probably think it's crap though.

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  5. He's 6 and he's still that gullible? My wife tried to pull one over on my son like that when he was three and he said "Uh uh, bu suh", which is Chinese for "I don't believe any of that crap you're selling".

    She turned to me and said "he's no fun anymore, let's have another one"

    My reply was very similar to my son's.

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  6. Murph and the Magictones, I believe, and don't start me quoting from that movie.

    I like me some blues, and other music which doesn't suck. There being only two kinds of music, really (skillful and not). Among my misdeeds I was once one of the buyers for a large indie record store, which got shut down when MediaPlay opened up next door.

    I think your young neighbor is, of course, caught up in that phase where what is "cool" is utterly important, and is defined by a small set of other young people he's around. And, yeah, there's no actual communication possible, so best to just mess with him and have fun.

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  7. Dammit! It made me "fatoudust" instead of "mensley" yet again! Grrf.

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  8. Ah, now I'm going to have to watch it. Murf and Magictones, you could be right and probably are.

    Get the lighter fixed

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  9. Oh, we got both kinds!

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  10. I've always loved you

    Quite possibly my favorite moment in the entire movie.

    Well that and when Belushi gives Carrie Fisher the puppy eyes...

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  11. Don't you know how dangerous a pissed off 6-year-old can be?

    http://i30.tinypic.com/o10qk2.jpg

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  12. I've always liked the "Curl Up and Dye" visual just before you see Carrie Fisher studying up on flamethrowers.

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  13. Just found this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn_PF4L470w

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  14. Damn, Mark, thanks.

    You too, Nathan, that made me laugh.

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  15. "And get off my lawn!"

    ::squinty eyed glare::

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