Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Jeb Bush, Proving That Crazy Stupid is Genetic

Is it just me?

Or does Jeb Bush remind you of one of those nameless Baldwin brothers?

You know, the jowly one with the bad eyes? The one that's a shitty actor? The one that is always in and out of rehab, or in jail for smacking his girl friend, the former stripper, around? (Okay, that really doesn't narrow it down, does it? Well, I can't keep them straight either).


Well, I guess it's just me then.

But, I've got to tell you that the Jeb Bush in this interview strikes me as exactly the kind of grade-B psycho so routinely, and so poorly, played by one of the interchangeable Baldwins:

The whole "interview" is here, at Newsmax, a conservative, Miami based web news site not exactly known for non-biased or accurate reporting. The whole thing is fairly painful to watch (sort of like a Baldwin movie, in fact) as the "reporter" lobs one scripted softball after another at the former governor.

Let me sum it up for those of you too squeamish to watch the whole thing.

Jeb Bush feels that in Washington "we need to show humility and the loyal opposition." Humility? Sure okay, I won't argue with that. Really good luck though. But loyal opposition? Loyal opposition? Seriously? How come when it's the conservatives who disagree with the direction the country is headed, they're the loyal opposition, but when it's the liberals who disagree they're Unpatriotic Arab Socialist Terrorists Who Hate America And Should Move to Canada?

But, hey, that's really just a quibble on my part, not that I don't enjoy good old fashioned hypocrisy when I hear it or anything.

What really caught my attention was Jeb's idea that the GOP should set up a Shadow Government. No really, I shit you not. See? You should have watched the interview.

Shadow Government. Non-partisan, of course, because "people are sick and tired of the partisanship ... just for partisan sake." With that in mind, Jeb's shadow government would be set up based on policy, NOT partisanship because (and I quote) "the Republican ideas, once expressed, are the right ideas." Well, shit. When you put it that way, Jeb, I guess there's nothing partisan about it, I mean as long as you're voting republican that is. Right? Hard to argue with that logic.

I guess this Bush shadow government would be sort of a no-hope counterweight to the Obama Administration. Shadow Government (sorry, I just can't stop saying it. Shadow Government. Shadow Government). Bush doesn't really go in to great detail as to which article in the Constitution would be used to justify its existence. Maybe it's one of the secret shadowy provisions in the Patriotic Act (Article IIV: Holy Fuck! The Democrats Won the House, Senate, and White House, What the Hell Do We Do Now!) Or why, if the idea is so non-partisan we need a Loyal Opposition Shadow Government now, instead of, oh, say, when his retarded little brother was trashing the Constitution, taking us into war, and destroying the economy. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, Jeb did, didn't he? Explain it, that is. Republican ideas, well, they're the right ideas.

Jeb also doesn't mention precisely what the GOP Shadow Government would do. But he does give us a few hints. For example, republicans need to remind African Americans of the the values they share with the GOP, because it was really distressing that 95% of blacks voted for Obama. Poor misguided ignorant minorities. See, apparently if you vote for a black man because he shares your skin tone, you're stupid. But if you vote against a black man, because of his skin color, well that's American. Shared values. Yep. Shared values with the core neocons who think that any black man in this country must be a radical Muslim terrorist. Jeb doesn't mention precisely how the shadow government will build this particular bridge, other than to say that the GOP should recruit candidates who "look like" the voters "we're trying to win over." Boys, if we're gonna win back the White House, we gots to get ourselves a negro candidate of our own!

Jeb's really on a roll in this "interview." He also says that Obama should "defy his core constituency." Obama should take on the teachers union and be on the side of disadvantaged families when it comes to education. We need more school choice, we to pay for performance, we need more accountability - you know, like the republican approach to faith based public education, we don't leave just one kid behind, we leave them all! (Seriously, is nobody seeing the bad Baldwin movie dialog here?) Obama should defy his core constituency? Would that be like how George Bush defied his core constituency and stood up for the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, and the...oh, never mind.

Republican Ideas, they're the right ideas. Heh, heh, my mistake.

Too damned bad the Bush Brothers didn't go into the shitty movie business, like the Baldwins.

Then they'd at least be marginally entertaining.


  1. I want to play Laura in the movie so I can stab my husband in the eye with a fork when he shreds the bill of rights.

    And no, I don't care if it is in the script.

  2. 'Shadow Government' ::wiggles eyebrows:: 'Shadow Government' ::mumble::

    Holy Crap - this guy is actually saying this stuff?!?! OK - I have to watch again. Did I miss something in the credits where it says 'This is Fiction'?

    Capitalize on mutual hates much, there, Jeb? "With African Americans we need to remind them of our shared values..." ::retch:: That almost sounded like, "We need to TELL them how to feel..."

    Dash from shadow to shadow today, Jim, glancing about nervously.

    'Shadow Government' BOO!! :)

  3. Ah, yes, Shadow Government... that will really help heal the country after the all the Bush-beatings we've endured.

    OH, that's it! The beatings will continue until morale improves!! When we want to know your opinion we'll give it to you!!

    I could go on but the boss expects me to do some work today...

  4. Yo, Bushes: you lost.

    *Nelson point-n-laugh*

    HA HA!

  5. You know, I thought about calling a Poe on this... but it truely saddens me that I can't.

  6. Rather than the shitty movie business, the Bush brothers (and father) went into the shitty government business where they have been very successful in doing a shitty job of running the government.

    "Shadow Government" -- isn't that what Cheney was running behind Bush's back?

  7. Jim,

    Indeed it is "too damned bad the Bush Brothers didn't go into the shitty movie business, like the Baldwins."

    What's worse is that it has been TOO BAD FOR US(A) that these guys skipped the movie business and entered politics! Oh, how much better if these boys had stayed in their family's business of ruining companies and chasing baseball players...

    In any event, what you've eye witnessed, and so eloquently documented for us, is the opening salvo of Bush'12 - The Return! (or is it the Restoration?) Shadow Government is just code word for "we're getting the band back together boys" now that Johnny B Good McCain flamed out in his turn as the lead guitarist. After all, they had to give Johnny a chance for all that hugging and supporting and stuff...

    Anyhow, my solution to the whole (evil) Shadow Government thing is called investigations and accountability for the Real mis-Government we've experienced in the past 7+ years. Tar and feathers will help salve my raw feelings towards the crew, but some truth outing and simple jail sentences might also do the trick.

    I guess we'll see.

    One thing for sure, the "band" will be playing loudly for Jeb's Shadow Government until we citizens pull the plug and starve them of oxygen. And here is where MWT's Nelson laugh gets put to use.


  8. Shadow Government? Oh holy MFing crap on a toothpick. Say, don't we send in the Army to take care of previous attempts at a shadow government? Aren't those called "treasonous acts"?

    At least they're talking about "loyal opposition" now, instead of the "honest opposition" the house minority whip talked about after the election. The conservative side has been working on the GOPAC memo for so long I'm beginning to subscribe to the idea that they are starting to represent a clear and present danger to the republic. I was so looking forward to stop hearing that voice in the back of my head questioning me about, "You swore an oath to the Constitution, just WTF are you going to do about this, buddy boy?" I really was looking forward to not hearing that voice for the next four years.

    And I'll just reiterate that most pundits though it would be Jeb that would run for president. After all, he's the smart brother.

  9. Forgot to mention, the Republican Party did have an African American candidate for President, Alan Keys. He ran in 1996, 2000 and 2008. Didn't win many votes.

  10. I think if I watch that video, my eyes will fall out of their sockets, and my brain will melt out my ears...

    Natalie (and I work in the Executive Branch, such as it is)


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