Monday, March 22, 2010

The Day After

As Thomas Dewar said on Facebook,

“It’s been twelve hours now since the House passed HCR, and still no jackbooted government agents have kicked down my door to inject me with liquid socialism…”

It’s just a matter of time, Tom, just a matter of time – at least according to the not-so-loyal opposition this morning.  Frankly I’m a hell of a lot less frightened of, oh, say, all Americans finally getting access to healthcare than the rightwing zombies who are losing their worm-eaten minds today.  You can damned well expect to see real Hollywood tears glistening in Glenn Beck’s eyes as he weeps for the Republic today.  I expect Palin’s Facebook page will be a beautiful example of third grade logic and how this legislation is a personal insult to her and poor little lopsided Trig.   Rush, well, Rush will probably need some kind of chemical solace and a stint in rehab, before he leaves the US for Costa Rica as promised (what? You don’t think Rush would welsh on his promise to leave the US, do you? Frankly, I think Rush’s imminent departure from America is the best part of the HCR).  And I expect somebody will have to shoot Michelle Bachman with a tranquilizer dart like the animal control guys have to do with an enraged heifer infected with the Mad Cow.

The GOP and its yappy little non-housebroken lap dog, the Tea Party, have been showing their true colors these last few hours.  For a group of people who claim to be better Americans than all the rest of us, who claim to be great patriots, who carry little copies of the Constitution in their pockets right next to their bibles, and who can misquote the 2nd Amendment with enthusiastic gusto (a well armed militia!), and who claim to be such great admirers of democracy, they sure are sore losers aren’t they?  For a bunch of folks who proclaim the glory of Christ’s compassion, they sure don’t seem to have any for their fellow Americans, do they? Then again, healthcare is like the Christian Heaven or democracy to these people, it’s only good if you don’t let in the riff-raff or the stinky Mexicans, everybody else can burn in hell – which is, of course, what these compassionate Christians were shouting at Nancy Pelosi this morning, “Burn in Hell! Burn in Hell!” 

Jesus, I’m sure, would be so proud of what he wrought with this crowd.

Texas Republican Randy Neugebauer burst out uncontrollably on the house floor last night, calling Bart Stupak a “Baby Killer!”  Of course, Neugebauer was too cowardly to own up to his comment, typical of his kind, full of wind, shit, and excitement and a fiery passion for the unborn and the as yet un-conceived and not one damned shred of compassion for the millions of real live breathing children without access to a doctor. Neugebauer wasn’t wearing the anonymous white sheets of his compatriots, but the Texas GOP closed ranks around him just as effectively as any pointy KKK hood and robe and it wasn’t until this morning that Neugebauer got outed by one of his fellow conservatives and had to fess up.  This morning he shamefacedly said his remarks were “misinterpreted.” See, in Texas “Baby Killer” means “I respectfully disagree with the Gentleman from Michigan.” Courage, Cowardly Lion, courage.

Virginia and half a dozen other Red States have declared their intention to sue the Federal Government and the President in order to halt Healthcare Reform.  The law, say the Red Stater Attorneys General, is unconstitutional because it forces people to buy health insurance (and provides subsidies for those who cannot afford it).  I assume these states will be giving up Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, federal unemployment benefits, and any federal pork derived from tax dollars in order to claim the moral and ideological high ground on this one. I also assume that on Virginia roads at least, auto insurance will now be optional. So far as I can tell, the gist of the lawsuit being that it’s better to spend billions on a lengthy and hideously expensive constitutional challenge than use that money to help American citizens get access to a doctor.  That’s the same kind of conservative logic that says it’s patriotic to spend $2 billion a copy for the B2 Spirit stealth bomber, but it’s anti-American to help out your neighbors.  Can’t you just see Jesus dancing on water over that one? Hallelujah!

Texas, predictably, is making noises about secession yet again – because in the Lone Star State you prove your great American patriotism by threatening to quit the Union every time you don’t get your way.  Texans, like Randy Neugebauer, would rather secede than give one penny to help his fellow Americans.  In Texas the state motto is: “Fine! Be that way! I’m taking my ball and going home! Jerks!” Honestly, I’m all for it.  I say we call their bluff, let’s vote Texas off the island now, rather than wait for them to leave.  Then we’ll build a fence along the state’s northern border – and shoot any pointy toed peckerwood that tries to cross it. 

Here in Alaska, it’s the end of the world.  Civilization is teetering on the brink of the apocalypse.  The ragtag remnants of the Michigan Militia, now calling themselves the Alaskan Citizen’s Militia and led by camo wearing goof Norm Olsen, are polishing their assault rifles and waiting for the liberal hordes.  They wear uniforms like little kids playing at army, except they’re carrying real weapons and they just can’t wait to start shooting people. Olsen said he doesn’t want to hurt anybody – the guns are just for bears (bears in assault carriers and armed with machine guns).  He doesn’t hate the government, “just the people in government.” Viva la Revolucion! Maybe we can get the Alaskan Citizen’s Militia to man the US/Texas border.

Sarah Palin called for repeal of certain portions of the bill. She didn’t say what those portions were though and it’s not clear if she was talking about actual passages in the bill, or fictional provisions that she just made up on her Facebook page.  She said the historic passing of the HCR is a “clarion call” for action and that her followers shouldn’t “let them move on to further 'transformational' steps while forgetting what Congress just did against the will of the people.”  Apparently the will of the rest of America, those of us who aren’t Sarah’s Facebook friends, doesn’t count – because we’re not real American in her eyes. I can see the kind of America she wants to live in from my house, and it makes Putin look like a piker.

Glenn Beck, on his radio show, railed against the Democrats who supported the bill: "Our master is common sense and God. I don't think right now you have either one on your side."  Odd, how did the bill pass then? I mean if God opposes it.  Unless, of course, He doesn’t… Funny how when these people don’t get their way they claim that it’s an affront to God, instead of making them wonder if maybe, just maybe, they’re consistently on the opposite side of what their precious lord and savior would have chosen. Beck invoked the name of God twice, first by claiming yesterday that holding the Healthcare vote on a Sunday was somehow sacrilegious  - no explanation of why votes on other issues don’t make Jesus cry – and then today by claiming God hates healthcare for all Americans. Funny thing though, speaking of Jesus, I seem to remember Jesus talking about feeding the poor (and actually doing so, loaves and fishes if I recall correctly), washing the feet of the destitute, give and you shall receive and like that. He might even have healed a few sick folks too, somewhere along the line.  I don’t remember Jesus ever saying, “Fuck you, Bitches, I got my eternal life! Woot!” My bad, must have been a different Jesus I’m remembering – probably an illegal immigrant, a lot of them there Mexicans are named Jesus.

Rush Limbaugh was less polite, “We need to defeat these bastards, wipe them out.”  If I’m not mistaken, that’s exactly what Osama Bin Ladin said about the United States in general.   Somebody give Rush a turban and an explosive vest as a going away present.  Seriously here, how does is this bombastic ass not on the no-fly list?  He’s threatening Americans, right? “Wipe them out!” Sounds like a fucking terrorist to me. 

Yesterday, commenter cremes told me I was wrong about the Tea Party movement. They’re fine upstanding folks, not crazies or hate mongers or zombie like followers of Glenn Beck. These would be the same tea baggers who called Barney Frank a “faggot” on the Longworth Building steps yesterday, and chanted “Homo Communist!” – what Frank’s gayness has to do with healthcare reform is beyond me. This same crowd spit on Representative Emanuel Cleaver and called both John Lewis and  Andre Carson “niggers.”  That’s right, niggers.  A speaker at an Asotin Country Tea Party Rally in Washington State called for Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) to be lynched. Lynched. Dragged from her home and hung by the neck until dead.  This wasn’t an off-hand remark by some wacko in the crowd, this was the speaker – and the Tea Baggers in the crowd cheered.  Faggot, nigger, lynched.  There’s your Tea Party, right there.  Fine, fine American Patriots these Tea Party types, eh?  Rather than denounce such bigotry and hatred and astoundingly blatant racism and homophobia, Representative Devin Nunes (R-CA) supported the crowd and justified their actions by saying “I think that people have every right to say what they want. If they want to smear someone, they can do it.” God bless fine Americans like you, Devin, you’re an example to us all, you are indeed.

A few more comments by the reasonable rational Regular Joes of the Tea Party:

- You're an idiot if you don't think yesterday was a dark day for America. But you're an even bigger idiot if you don't think we are all coming after all the progressives who did this to our country!

- Hate speech is a sign of frustration from being disregarded and ignored. To arms is generally what follows that.

- Im still younge and dont know much but i anna help, what do i do? how do you start a impeach someone,wont that help?

- It’s time to fight the enemy! Socialist operatives are infesting CraigsList.com with their recruiting ads. FIGHT BACK! Go to Craigslist.com, under Jobs /nonprofit sector, open an ad and flag it as spam/overpost. Some will say “Summer Campaign jobs” others “Work for Greenpeace” yeah, you get the idea. Thank you for your help on stamping out progressive recruiting! Some of the worst cities are San Francisco, Los Angles, San Diego, Seattle, Chicago, Minneapolis, Boston, Denver, New York, Washington DC and Philadelphia. These are liberal/progressive recruiting hotspots. Each time you flag an ad is like stepping on a liberal cockroach. Check collage towns as well, Thank You!

- Democrats are anti-American and corrupt. Republicans are corrupt and ineffective. I must do everything we can conceive of to eliminate them.

- Boy, I feel your anger because I've been all over the place with moods today from being feeling like I've been shot in the guts, to feeling sad, to crying and then finally to anger like I've never experienced in my life. It's horrid to realize that your individual liberty has just officially died unless something changes to reverse this mandate, etc. I feel as if my country died today. The anger part comes in realizing how many out there are doing the happy dance over this. I was so mad tonight that I punched my computer screen and sent it flying. I've never felt such a rage, but knowing what Obama is doing and knowing what smugness he is expressing just fuels it even more.

- I'm only 21 and I'm getting into politics because I honestly think that if people let this bill pass that this country will eventually become socialist. There will become a socialist government if we don't do something now. First healthcare and then something else and eventually we will become socialist.

- this is not socialism, this is MARXISM, something we destroyed during the XXth century and now is comingt back to "bother" in our own land. We have to act fast and quite efficiently, otherwise THEY will chew out butts.

And so on in endless illiterate and ignorant detail.  All those Tea Party comments come directly from Tea Party Patriot sites (you want to go look for yourself, then do a Google search, I’m not linking to this garbage from here).

It simply astounds me the level of booger eating ignorance, stupidity, hatred, racism, bigotry, and just plain abject insanity of the opposition.  I can see why they fear “the elites” so much, because anything over the intelligence level of a garden slug must be intimidating as all hell to these idiots.

How do I know that yesterday’s vote was the right thing?

Because these people hate it.

That’s good enough for me.


Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go imbibe some liquid socialism. The Irish kind. I feel like I might need a double shot of it.


More here: Glenn Beck Killed My Father In Law!

And the follow up post to this one: …and the day after that!


  1. I would be happy to buy you a double shot of liquid socialism on the strength of this post alone. The socialist commie European kind, of course.

  2. According to the articles I read, they spit on Representative Emanuel Cleaver, not 70 old Civil Rights leader Representative John Lewis. (Washington Post)

  3. Well, according to the comments I read, the (insert racial and/or homosexual slur here) are just making it up anyway.

    Plus, you know what a liberal rag the WP is. Lies, all lies!

  4. And in the spirit (heh heh) of socialism and social drinking I'd be happy to accept it, Phiala

  5. *cough* Thomas *cough*

    Don't be quoting him here, his ego is inflated enough.

    I have a bottle of Jameson with your name on it, if and when you EVER bother to let a girl know when you and Becky (and boy) come to town again. The three of us can get sloppy socialist together.

  6. Oh for crying out loud. All this socialism and now I'm not even allowed to use a diminutive. Tom, Thomas, my rights are being violated.

    I think I need more 12 year old liquid socialism.

  7. Come and get your liquid socialism.

    I'd try to get you to drink the 18 year old Glenmorangie, but you know what you like, and who am I say that you should change?

    However, no appletinis, ok?

  8. It's a deal. No appletinis. Ever.

  9. Enjoy the drink, and welcome to the "fans of Rush Limbaugh leaving the US." I have been wanting to titter(not twitter) at the unbelievable rhetoric from the right today, but the fact that they have immediately ramped up the hate machine in the aftermath of the vote kinda makes me want to cry. Well, if I'm gonna cry in my liquid socialism, it will be of the single malt, 12 year old type. Here's to a victory for the good guys! Cheers.

  10. You're welcome. And where's MY whiskey?!

    cundi = the last secretary of state

  11. You know whiskey makes you get naked and dance on the furniture, and while I for one fully support your constitutional right to public intoxication and nakedness, the furniture is getting a little beat up.

  12. Michelle and I have excellent taste in booze, and you appear to be the only one complaining about our public intoxication and nude capering, so... stuff it.

    (masigma - what I use to notate maseries)

  13. I'm not complaining, only observing that I'm going to need to get sturdier furniture.

    You know, Tania, your attitude seems somewhat hostile, not socialist at all. Here, have another drink.

  14. Why thank you Mr. Wright, I believe I will. All I can plead is that I am still at work, when I should be heading home to sample some liquid socialism of my own.

    And caper nude for the benefit of the neighbor. Who, as most of you know, cut down the trees between our homes, so it's his fault he can see me.

  15. I don’t remember Jesus ever saying, "Fuck you, Bitches, I got my eternal life! Woot!"

    That's because He didn't.

    What he actually said was: "Verily, I say unto you, who art bitches: fuck you. For I hath my life eternal in the mansions of my Father who art in Heaven. And this also I saith unto you who art bitches: w00t."

    Just thought someone should clear that up.

  16. Ah, that explains why I didn't remember it anywhere in the new testicle.

  17. Hmm...liquid socialism.

    And for the record, it's Mexican liquid socialism that makes me dance topless on tables (as Vagabond will attest), not the Scottish variety.

    So pass the Glenmorangie! Free liver transplants for everyone!

  18. Mexican liquid socialism is good stuff. I have some El Jimador and some Patron here at the shack, if we need to continue liver abuse.

    Jim, I'll be cavorting au natural to a Mark Knopfler playlist, just for you.

  19. Now I'm going to need another shot.

    And some quiet time.

  20. Stop bogartin' the socialism and pass the bottle.

    Now, is it wipe and drink, or just drink?

  21. At this point it's mostly spit and backwash anyway. Not point in wiping first.

  22. captcha word is 'carma'. How cool is that?

    Cheers all - I'll leave a keg of Alaska White by the shop door in the snow drift to wash out the backwash - just driving by on my way over to Kinko's to get some 'flintlock & crazy' posters printed off - and another one of Chuck in 'that bikini'.

  23. Dang, Karl. The Kitten heads out to the Bush for a week, and you boys go all crazy!

    (btw, thanks for dealing with my cutting board. When you get to it, I'm in no hurry. But, I appreciate your even being willing to consider it.)

  24. Nah - this isn't crazy - crazy is when you yarp all over the insides of the battalion commander's ride (and into a suspicious laundry bag therein) late one night after a wicked good live fire, some (14 or so) beers and schnapps and an Oompa band, and a celebratory cigar. Then walk by it the next day like you'd never seen it before "Geeze, that's gross..." and watch the orderly hosing it out. good times, good times...

    yep - it's all in pieces right now while I re-edge each one to put it back together - won't be much longer.

  25. Ah yes . . . the old days on San Diego, watching Hot Chick drink Mexican liquid socialism and . . . well, let's just say the lady's story doth contain the truth. Luckily I was there to provide brotherly protection from any over zealous conservatives.

  26. 'Tis true. Vagabond was my hero, and kept me out of trouble. The test of a true friend.

    Now pass the liquid socialism.

  27. Janiece was probably safe from overly zealous consevatives, Vagabond. See, they like boys...


    Not one day in anyone’s life is an uneventful day, no day without profound meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter whether you are a seamstress or a queen, a shoeshine boy or a movie star, a renowned philosopher or a Down’s syndrome child.

    Because in every day of your life, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by conscious acts of will and unconscious example.

    Each smallest act of kindness – even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a compliment that engenders a smile – reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away.

    Likewise, each small meanness, each thoughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others, and is therefore the seed that ultimately produces evil fruit, poisoning people whom you have never met and never will.

    All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined – those dead, those living, those generations yet to come – that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands.

    Therefore, after every failure, we are obliged to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strength – the very survival – of the human tapestry.

    Every hour in every life contains such often-unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great days for which we, in our dissatisfaction, so often yearn are already with us; all great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in THIS MOMENTOUS DAY!

    Excerpt from Dean Koontz’s book, “From the Corner of His Eye”.

    It embodies the idea of how the smallest of acts can have such a profound effect on each of our lives.

  29. Point well taken, Jim. As there is no shot of Janiece being mistaken for one of those, I'm once again rendered superfluous . . . Damn!

  30. Vagabond, I, personally, just can't believe that the Senior Chief, whom I just met in the flesh, uh, umm, face to face (yeah, that's better), would allow Mexican liquid socialism, even in large quantities, to get the best of her, and cause her to fling her inhibitions to the wind (apparently with some other articles, as well)! No, I don't believe that.

    I prefer to think it was planned from the beginning...

  31. I prefer Tennessee sippin' liquid socialism myself. Guess I should have stopped and obtained a new stash instead of hitting the drug store to purchase Sudafed to fight my spring allergies. And of course I could only purchase the Sudafed after producing a photo ID and signing a form stating I will only use it for the purpose for which it is intended.

    Silly practicality.

  32. Tom, you too have a valid point. As a wise man once told me, "son, drinkin' never made someone do somethin' they didn't want to do in the first place." Actually, I'm pretty sure he was talking about sleeping with someone but that's a whole other tale . . . Janiece, here's where I respect your privacy and the sacred law: what happens on WESTPAC stays on WESTPAC!

  33. I dunno about that... that Mexican liquid socialism... sheesh!

  34. Mexican socialism is rather weak in comparison, or at least it is for me. That Russian liquid socialism has always been my downfall.

  35. You all need to stop talking about me behind my back. Be manly about it and talk about me in FRONT of my back.

    As far as the Mexican Liquid Socialism goes, I shall just go down the irrational road, stick my fingers in my ears and trill "LALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU."


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