Thursday, September 4, 2008

Sarah Palin and Alaska, a few things you should probably know

OK, obviously as an Alaskan I've been reading everything I can access regarding our state governor's nomination as John McCain's running mate.

I've pursed the media, large and small, read endless blogs, and listened to every pundit, Congressman, Senator, Judge, fudge maker, reporter, exporter, expert, ex-admiral, monk, lunk, and lunatic.

And I'll tell you what I've discovered: You people (and by 'you people' I mean everybody who doesn't live in Alaska) know exactly dick about The Great Land.


Oh, The Great Land, see that's what I'm talking about. The word, Alaska, is an Anglicization of a Russianification of a Native Inupiat word, Alyeska - meaning the great land. You didn't know that, did you? That's my point, right there. You don't know beans about Alaska. And it's rather obvious that you know even less about our governor Govnacudda (remember, you saw that term coined here at Stonekettle Station first).

That hasn't stopped you people from going on and on about it though, has it?

In recent days, Stonekettle Station has become a hot spot for Google searches regarding Alaska, right now I'm pushing over a metric gazillion hits on this subject alone. And so, as a public service, let me fill those of you in the media and the blogosphere in on a few things regarding Alaska -where the men are hockey moms and so is the vice presidential candidate.

1. Let's start with geography: Alaska is not the largest state in the union. That's a big fat lie. Hey, it started out as a joke, we were just having one over on a couple of Texan oil workers and things got out of hand. Alaska is really about the size of Connecticut. Sorry about the maps and such.

2. Our state capital is Juneau, which is another native word meaning "No Jews!" The TV show Northern Exposure was actually an accurate depiction of Alaskan life, there are no Jewish people in Alaska other than the morose doctors we've kidnapped from other states and forced to work in small villages. Here in Alaska we are all Born Again Christian White People who go to church four times a week. When we're not in church damning the homos to the fires of perdition, we're burning biology text books and condoms.

3. Yes, we have 24 hours of daylight here, except when we have 24 hours of darkness, which we mostly don't notice as we are all too busy shooting wolves from airplanes with bazookas.

4. Alaskans live in either igloos or log cabins. We have neither electricity or in-door plumbing here in Alaska. For many modern people this would be a problem, especially since we have 24 hours of darkness - except when we don't - but the lack of electric lights doesn't bother Alaskans as the Northern Lights provide sufficient illumination to hunt by. We heat our homes, such as they are, with special furnaces which burn the rendered fat of baby harp seals or free oil that we get from our employers, Exxon, Shell, and BP. Since it's always thirty below here, and we have to snowshoe to the outhouse to do our business - and when you eat nothing but raw salmon and moose meat you have to do a lot of business, just saying - all Alaskans are hirsute and have beards, even the woman.

5. Yes, there is always snow here. Always. Ten feet deep. Even in summer - that's what we build the igloos out of. In fact, snow is one of Alaska's largest exports - every snow cone vender in the world has a vested interest in Alaska. Traditionally snow is carried via bulk tanker down to the real United States, but our Governor, Sarah Ice Water Palin, just signed a deal with the international giant, Tasty Freeze, to build a Mr. Slushy pipeline across Saskatchewan in order to convey the frozen treat directly into every 7/11 and Quik-E Mart in the country. This action will go a long, long way towards reducing America's dependence on foreign shaved ice and break the stranglehold monopoly of the Greenland Dictators.

6. Alaskans drive either dog sleds or snow machines, as such in Alaska, the roads and parking lots are a bit different than they are down there in the real United States. Additionally, since we live in the ass-end of nowhere, and have neither real cities or towns, all of the bridges here are actually bridges to nowhere.

7. Everybody in Alaska works for Exxon. Everybody.

8. It is true that Alaskans get free money from the Oil industry. Lot's of it. We're all millionaires here. We also get gobs of free pork from the Federal Government, food stamps, and an unlimited supply of tasty WIC cheese spread. Unfortunately, other than snow there's nothing to spend our bushels of free money on. And we damned sure aren't putting it into schools, infrastructure, cruise ship docks, or silly stuff like that. So, we use the money to buy Rolls Royces from Amazon, which we then pull through the snow with sled dogs down to the piers where we keep our gold plated fishing boats.

9. The movie Mystery, Alaska is absolutely true. Everybody ice skates here, we skate everywhere, in the bank, in the grocery store, in bed and out to the crapper. That's why Sarah Palin has such shapely ankles. And, we are crazy mad about hockey. Everybody plays hockey in Alaska. We used to play football, but the ball got dropped in a snowdrift and we haven't been able to find it since about 1996.

10. All Alaskan woman begin having babies at twelve years of age. It's cold here and we don't have a lot of intramural sports - knocking up underage girls is almost as good and you don't have to have any special equipment. Frankly we were a bit concerned about Bristol Old Maid Palin's fertility, our population is small and every Christian baby counts, as such we like to pound out as many as possible. So far, abstinence is working just fine for us.

11. Alaskans have no imagination and we don't have any good, old traditions like the rest of the country. So, we really appreciate it when real Americans come here and rename stuff, like Mount Princess Cruise Lines (formerly Mount McKinley named after a dead politician from Ohio, which truthfully was much better than that ten thousand year old name, Denali, that we used to call it. Ten thousand years, jeez, you would have thought we could have come up with something better, but again, that's exactly my point.

12. Screw ANWR, all Alaskans hate the environment. Global warming is a myth, there's absolutely no biblically scientific evidence for it here in Alaska at all. None. Nope. No retreating glaciers, no melting polar ice, no thawing muskeg. Nothing. But damned if we don't wish it were true. It's cold here, Baby, and we wouldn't mind seeing some of that heat.

When it comes to Sarah Drill Baby Drill Palin herself, the Wikipedia entry is an absolutely true and correct source of factual information, compiled by actual and authentic researchers with detailed knowledge of Alaska and Sarah herself. However, there are a few things it doesn't cover. First we all know her, personally. As I said above, Alaska is a tiny little place, with a small population (we're not actually sure how many Alaskans there are, since we don't teach math in our religious schools. We know there's more than sixteen - which most Alaskans can count to, since that's the average number of toes Alaskan babies are born with and the average number of dogs in a sled team - but exactly how many more, we couldn't say precisely, but it's a lot - at least a hundred). Additionally, any tourist who has ever visited Alaska, even if they've only had a one hour layover in the Ted Stevens Pork Barrel Anchorage International Airport and Exxon Headquarters, is an expert on Sarah Fish Camp Palin. Please, feel free to interview anybody in an "Alaska" sweatshirt.

As you know Sarah Hottie Palin comes from a small village, Wasilla. And it is true that she was a beauty queen, but what you may not know is that beauty contests here are a little different than in civilized parts of the world. The year Sarah won the Miss Wasilla pageant, her competition consisted of two moose, a genuine Alaskan penguin, Willie the Singing Sourdough, and an Arctic Cat snow machine. And I've got to tell you, if Willie had combed his beard or the Arctic Cat had been a 700cc model, Sarah would have been runner up. It was that close. There just isn't a lot to choose from in Wasilla, it's a small place, really small. The population is actually about eight people, pretty much the Palin family, Willie, and Lipstick the Pit Bull - a stray abandoned by a tourist family from Utah. Sarah Fahrenheit-451 Palin was elected Mayor of Wasilla mostly because LipStick the Pit Bull didn't want the job, and after burning down the library and squeezing out five grandchildren, Sarah set her sights (literally her sights, as in gun sights, since she carries a good old fashion American made Colt .44 Magnum in a custom Right-to-Life Holster strapped to her shapely muscular thigh everywhere) on the governorship. Now Governor of Alaskan is kind of a goof, there's really no responsibility at all since we don't have any industry except the aforementioned snow cone deal and a corner on the Moose Nugget Jewelry market, so it's more like Governor Lite here. Be that as it may, Alaskans demand that our executive be as fully qualified as any Texas Governor and frankly we were all concerned about Sarah No Experience Palin - until she swapped out her contacts for a pair of sexy librarian glasses. As you know, glasses immediately make you smarterer and more intellectualated, and we're pretty sure that was the deciding factor when John McCain was running down the short list of potential Veeps.

So, there you have it. The truth about Alaska and Sarah One Pulmonary Infarction Away From the Presidency Palin. I hope this clears up a few things for you. Feel free to repost as necessary for the good of the nation.

On the other hand, you could just keep talking out your excretory orifices, either way, I'm good.

Now if you, excuse me, I have to go shovel snow and fight off a pack of atheist gay marriage wolves.


  1. ::chiding voice::

    There's just no pleasing you, is there?

    First you cry because the Republican party is taking away your girl.

    Then you cry because people are interested in your girl, and publish all kinds of truthful and factual commentary about her life and experience. What? You don't know.

    Then you cry some more when people come to your web-site to see what you - a real Alaskan and dec-o-rated war hero - think of her.

    Christ, you're just a wimpy, wimpy crybaby, just like the rest of the Alaskans.


  2. Jim, for that post I may have to figure out how to deed you your own spot on the family homestead. My uncles would LOVE you.

    I bet those wolves you're fighting off are illegal immigrant wolves from Canada. Or maybe Mexico, since we're really located right off the coast of Baja.

  3. I think they're actually Chinese wolves.

    But the bears, those are definitely Islamic Jihaderites or something like that.

    And Janiece? Bite me. :)

  4. What?

    You know it's all about the right's (or the left's) real and factual evaluation of reality-as-we-know-it.

    Clearly, you're un-American and you don't support the troops.

  5. Well, you know me. As a liberal, Libertarian, conservative greenie - I'm just that kind of asshole.

  6. 7. Everybody in Alaska works for Exxon. Everybody.

    But... what about the people who work for Shell and BP??

  7. Actually the bears come from Russia. More specifically, Siberia. They're illegal immigrants who snuck into Alaska across the Bering Land Bridge (which still exists - it's just that you Alaskans don't want the rest of the world to know) to the Seward Peninsula, and from there the terrorist bears have spread.

  8. The Russians, John, are our allies in the War on Terrorism (oh noes!).

    ...Except in Georgia, and especially near Atlanta, or so I'm told.

  9. Oops, sorry, that last comment should have been addressed to Vince.

    It's just that John usually makes the Russian comments, and I was distracted by the beauty of our governor. So, you know, sue me.

  10. I didn't work for Exxon or BP. I was too busy stocking my bunker with kerosene, canned goods and annumition... amminutio... heck with it, ammo, to hold down a job.

    And a comfy bed, because after the liberal wingnuts, the commie whale-wankers, the jihadist bear armies and and the terrorist wolves destroy the world we need a place to get procreatin'.

    I don't want any crybaby treehuggers fathering MY children, though, only brave Christian American heroes.

  11. Jim, Jeri's scaring me.

    Make her stop.

  12. Janiece, keep away from those Alaskan men. My ice skate blades are dang sharp and I'm not afraid to use 'em.

    Did you know, I read it on Wikipedia and it MUST be true, that God is a member of the Republican party? And He wants us to drill for oil everywhere, including Tony Knowles' hairdo.

    No tree left behind. It has a nice ring, doesn't it?

  13. Also, one thing I *hate* about outsiders' perceptions of Alaska is that Amazon won't ship weapons-grade plutonium up here. It's like they don't consider us to be an American state or something!

    So I have to have my friends bring plutonium and uruna... urenau... urane... nuclear stuff for me in their checked luggage when they fly up from Seattle.

    What a frigging pain in the butt. Amazon is a devil-worshiping un-American and un-Christian organization. I read about it in the Enquirer.

  14. Yeah yeah yeah. You bring plutonium, but Tania can't even get lip gloss through security.

  15. Well, yeah, but Tania had her lip gloss hidden in the butt of her shotgun. Still...

  16. #3, I thought it was vampires, 24 hours of darkness and all.

  17. The lip gloss was for the illegal immigrant gay commie wolves. The ones that Jeri's going to shoot from her plane so she can take them home, tan the hides, and start making babies with whoever Jerry Prevo picks for her. Yeah!

    Stupid frigging Bush Administration, taking my guns and my makeup. Bastards.

  18. Jim, I'm sensing a wee bit of anger here. Am I right? ;)
    Jeri, Shit, I didn't know Amazon had plutonium! What department is it in? I've been getting mine @ CVS, but w/ my Amazon Visa card, I could be earning extra Amazon points!

  19. Jeri, just disguise it as "yellow-cake" and get it over with.

    Because clearly, the "real" United States needs an excuse to invade the rogue state of Alaska, and you - you! - could provide that excuse.

    Now we need to think of an intelligence code name for Jeri.

    Suggestions? Suggestions?


  20. What? Yellow-Cake Jeri isn't a good name?

  21. Michelle, Tania's lip gloss issue was because she, like a noob, tried to carry it on. If she'd have checked it she could have checked gallons, and a detonator too.

    When I was a girl, we used to talk to each other in backwards language when we were playing spies. So, I would be Irej. Irej Wolley Ekac. I like it.

    Tracy, the plutonium? Home and Kitchen, of course. Look in the "Bunker and Bomb Shelter" section. You can sometimes also find SRAMs in the hunting and fishing department from an occasional third party Amazon seller, but you have to be careful - sometimes they're used.

  22. Ah, Jim, your description of Alaska sounds a lot like Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Except in the U.P. we got things like 329 inches of snow in one winter (which is a lot more than that ten feet), there's no oil and there's no jobs. And our moose are imported from Canada (smaller and more resistant to mad deer disease), so you're not allowed to shoot them.

    The U.P. Stolen from Wisconsin, Michigan's spoils of the war with Ohio over Toledo. With only Lake Superior's cold waters separating us from Canada. (grin)

    Dr. Phil

  23. Dr. Phil!

    How very excellent to see you here.

    The Canadian moose only appear smaller, it's because they crawl on their bellies under the border wire.

  24. Dr. Phil!! Yay!

    Congrats on the WOTF thing, BTW. I've been terribly remiss in not mentioning it. But I did a happy dance for you.

  25. And since Tania said it, congrats on the WoTF thing as well, Dr. Phil. Just went to find your blog.

  26. Thanks Jeri, oops, I mean Irej. Of course, how silly of me not to think of that. I'm good to go now.
    You're right, no used SRAMS! I'll be very careful. My code name will be Ycart, but don't tell anyone.

  27. Dr. Phil - that is so VERY cool on the recent publications and the WOTF finalist! That's the only contest I've submitted to but it was years ago.

    Now you've motivated me to spend a little more focused energy on my imaginings in my writing, rather than in some of my favorite comment threads. ;)

    Sorry if I come across like a squee-ing fangirl, but it's very cool that your hard work is starting to pay off.

  28. For those of you who don't know what the hoopla is about, Dr Phil, AKA Dr. Philip Kaldon, is an old online acquaintance of some of us here in the UCF. A fellow Whateverite and a charming and witty fellow.

    A Michigander, professor of physics, blogger, journalist (in the keeping online journal vice the make shit up about Alaska and publish it in major news outlets sort of way), and writer of most excellent fiction. His website can be found here.

    Personally I think he's the next big thing in Science Fiction since he bears more than a passing resemblance to the great and mighty and knightly George R.R. Martin.

    We hope he sticks around, we could use another physicist around here.

  29. Gee, thanks, guys. I feel like a stealth threadjacker -- and I didn't even do anything!

    Regarding the Canadian moose -- they were airlifted in, slung under helicopters. Black ones. The helicopters, that is. Somewhere near Area 41 (the strange sand flats just off US-41 south of Houghton).

    As for the George R.R. Martin thing, I was quite amused to see photos of him in the September 2008 Locus magazine. Large person - Check. Graying beard - Check. Dresses in black - Check. Wears a hat - Check. Hmm, wonder if I can sue him for infringing on my style? (grin)

    Anyway, thank you everyone for the nice things said here.

    Dr. Phil

  30. Ha! Thread hijacking is an approved and encouraged tradition around Stonekettle Station, Doc.

    Nathan's a bit busy at the moment with his next big NY block buster (he hasn't said, but we think it might be a sequel to the Jerky Boys, with Steven Segal in the lead this time around) - but he's the king of the hijack.

    Glad to see you, and let me add my congratulations to the cheering and waving.

  31. You guys have forced me to fix up my Blogger blog, so when you click on my name here, there are actually links to my LJ and my website. How come no one warned me that posting here might result in having to work? (grin)

    Dr. Phil

  32. Posting on Stonekettle Station often has unexpected consequences, Doc, as I've discovered to my horror and amusement.

    It's an observational problem, sort of like a certain physicist's cat - you never know what you're going to get. And participation changes the equation in unpredicted... no strike that, unpredictable ways.

    We've got few constants here, and some pretty strange variables


  33. Thread hijacking is an approved and encouraged tradition around Stonekettle Station, Doc.

    Humph. I thought *I* was "Doc" around here, and now you're giving my title away to some large, gray-bearded, black-clothed, hat-wearing physicist? (*pout, with major lower-lip action)

    Maybe I'll be a strange variable instead. Yeah, I like the thought of being a strange variable (walking off muttering to self and scaring some coworkers...)

    And as for unexpected consequences --> jimwrightisanasshole.com...

    Natalie -- NOT a physicist (how do you understand all that stuff???)

  34. Natalie, I didn't ask to be "Doc" -- I've been "Dr. Phil" since May 1989, and then had that upstart Friend of Oprah come around and usurp my name, so I feel you pain.

    As for how do I understand all that stuff? Physics is a system designed to be a logical and rational description of how the universe works. I tell my students that "we are here to change the way that you think" -- and sometimes it is painful and sometimes it doesn't work.

    No matter. I'm not trying to turn everyone into little physicists. Fact is, very few people in the world are physicists, so by definition, I am "not normal". (grin) But we do get to play with great toys. (bigger-grin)

    Dr. Phil

  35. Natalie - I realize that with a majorly demanding job and a five year old and all you hardly have time - but if you WERE to start a blog I bet it'd be fascinating.

    "Come to the dark side, my young apprentice..." Except you'd have to be the apprentice of someone far cooler than me.

  36. Thanks for the explain Jim. I thought it was 'THE' Dr Phil, & I got all excited & giggly & googly eyed. ;)
    Ok, say physics, & my brain freezes up, the same way it does when chemistry is mentioned. I made it through college w/ a D in chemistry, that's how bad I am. Never had to take physics. My brain just doesn't function w/ things like that. It might as well be Greek or Hebrew for me. I must be illogical & irrational. ;)

  37. I call anybody with Doctor in front of their name "Doc."

    No offense intended or implied, either way or anyhow. It's a habit I picked up while working at the Naval Research Labs in DC. I was field operator and the guy who had to explain to the eggheads why having to program a weapon in hexidecimal under battlefield conditions was a REALLY bad idea. There were more PhD's than I could shake a stick at - so everybody just became "doc."

  38. Can I be a strange constant?

    And yeah, NATHAN is the ONLY one who ever threadjacks!

    That's my story and I'm stickin' with is.

  39. Oh puh-leeze, I was just having fun. Speaking as a "real doctor", I've never understood why people consider PhD's "fake doctors". Fergoshsakes, the path to a PhD and beyond in many cases is more rigorous and tough than med school and residency. I was just being annoying. I'm good at that -- my 5 year-old has taught me all sorts of new tricks.

    One of the best things about my current job is that almost nobody calls me "Dr." anymore. For some reason that really grated on me the longer I practiced.

    Jeri, I'm not cool and never have been. I'm a nerd. :-) I am popular at work because I am the only full time neurologist in the part of FDA in which I work ("why don't we ask the neurologist?" "is the neurologist involved?" etc) If I had been this popular during high school, I would've had a date to the prom... :-) I and one of my coworkers decided that nerds can become popular as adults, never as kids.

    I have toyed with blogging and I have a standing invitation to join my bestest friend's blog, but I just don't feel interesting or eloquent enough to blog. My husband says he doesn't blog because it would just be one rant after another (he just enjoys Jim's rants). And, Jim, The Husband is still looking for the picture from that class (1983 or so...)

    There, how's that for a thread-jack?

    Natalie (happy that there are physicists where I work, so I don't have to understand that stuff...)

  40. Well, personally, I think I'm going to default to NRL mode when there was more than one "doc" in the lab - I'll refer to one of you as "doc" and the other one as "the other doc." Now since there at least three doctorates I know of hanging around here it'll be up to you people to figure out which one I'm referring at any given moment.


  41. Are any of you really convinced that Avon Skin So Soft really protects you during black fly season. I don't know who ever came up with that one, but it's a foul lie...yes it is. It just makes you slippery and stinky and the black flies stick to you. I just wanted to get that off of my chest.

    ::brought to you by Nathan, who knows there's some thread somewhere where this is on topic, but he has no time to look for it. Thank you for your indulgence.::

  42. Nathan,

    If it's like mosquitoes, it has to do with your off-gassing, and whether your exhalations and expirations are attractive to mosquitoes or not.

    I'm vaguely remembering something about C02 and possibly iron levels.

    But there is something, because I don't remember the last time I was bitten by a mosquito.

  43. I have heard that BS story my entire life. SSS has NEVER WORKED for me. The only people I now that it works on are usually left alone by the bugs anyway.

    Avon lies, lies I say!

  44. Uh?

    I swear by SSS. Seriously. Not a big fan of any DEET based product, and SSS is the only real alternative.

    Now, I use the Skin So Soft Bug Repellent stuff, which my wife orders directly from Avon, not the skin lotion. What I really like about it is that it's not greasy at all, and doesn't smell like bug repellent.

    But, I've never seen it available in stores, you have to order it. The regular lotion doesn't work worth a damn. This stuff works better than anything I've ever used including military DEET, plus it's got sun block.

  45. You guys are so fucking easy!

    Three comments about SSS? It's like I can hypnotize you or something.


    ::thinks about where to steer things next::

    Anybody ever notice how some paper towels don't rip along the perforations? That pisses me off.

  46. I've tried the SSS bug dope. No luck.

    Bugs like me. John and I can be outside, he's bug free, I have a swarm.

    I'm cursed.

    But things you should know about Alaska - ravening colonies of mosquitoes exsanguinating small children and caribou at every turn!

  47. And BTW,

    My off-gassing smells like jasmine and draws people to me like moths to a flame. Just sayin'.

  48. So weird that Nathan brings up SSS today! I was just looking @ it on ebay for a kid @ work who goes to boot camp for the Marines next month. My neighbor who was a Marine suggested it when I asked him for ideas of things to give/send him for while he's there. You're psychic Nathan, or psychotic, as I like to say.
    So Jim, they actually have a SSS bug repellent? I'll have to look for that.
    I've never been bitten by mosquitoes, I always say I'm sour.

  49. God, I've lost count how many times this thread has been hijacked! It's making me dizzy. Even before Nathan came along!
    I agree about the paper towels. I think the paper towel companies do it just to make us crazy. How's that for indulging your new hijack attempt?

  50. So Michelle, you're saying that since I don't get bit, I stink????????? Thanks a lot.

    And nanny nanny boo boo to all of you who get bit because I don't! ;0

  51. I've heard that the eating of vegetables makes you more attractive to biting insects.

    I've never had problems with paper towels ripping along the perforations. I use Bounty.

  52. And Michelle, I missed your comment the first time around, re mosquitoes.

    Here's how it works: Mosquitoes have both a long range and short range homing system.

    Mosquitoes don't fly in any breeze above 4mph or so. They need a slight breeze for their long range sensors to work. optimal is 1-3mph. They fly in a series of straight lines, quartering an area looking for a concentrated CO2 and moisture stream - i.e. breath. You can tell when they detect it, they'll begin to zig-zag moving up wind towards the source. Once in range, they home on warmth, moisture, and the smell of a warm blooded animal (sweet, hormones, and the brew of chemicals any living thing emits).

    DEET and SSS block the bug's short range chemo receptors - in other words, bug repellent renders you invisible at close range. They know you're there, but they can't 'see' you, and generally won't land on repellent covered skin. This will not prevent them from swarming around some people - especially those with higher body temperatures (or higher heat radiation, women tend to feel colder outside and so wear sweaters or jackets more than men, which raises their core temperature, which in turn radiates from their heads and hands, which tends to attract the blood suckers).

    High heat areas are the ears, hence the annoying tendency to fly into your ears. high moisture areas on the eyes and mouth, hence the annoying tendency to fly in front of your face.

    Additionally, only female mosquitoes bite - and they only use the blood to gestate their eggs. They get no sustenance from the blood. Mosquitoes are like bees, they eat pollen. Which means they are also attracted to things that smell like flowers - and again, we're back to women most of the time.

    Bottom line wear less so your temp is a little cooler, avoid scented shampoos and other flowery smelling applications, and use a blocker such as DEET or SSS.

    Yeah, I spent a significant fraction of my career in either Alaska, Maine, or some malaria mosquito invested third world country. You learn things.

  53. During the Civil War, General Hooker encouraged the tradition of "Camp Followers", who became known as "Hooker's Girls". This is the etymology of the word "hooker" as a synonym for prostitute.

    C'mon guys. Challenge me!

  54. Jesus Christ Jim, is there anything you don't know? You are a font of wisdom, seriously.

  55. I live in Alaska, Tracy. Alaskan's know all kinds of shit about mosquitoes.

  56. They don't know shit about the difference between a possessive apostrophe 's' and the plural, however.

  57. I'm not just talking about freaking mosquitoes. You're full of info on a lot of topics. It's pretty damn amazing. I'll stop so you don't start blushing. hee
    Looks like everyone's gone to bed. I'm heading there myself, have to be up early in the am. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

  58. I'm not sure about vegetables MWT, as my diet is primarily grains and vegetables.

    And Jim, it was maybe 10 years ago there was a study as to why some people get eaten alive and some people aren't bothered.

    I'm wanting to think it had something to do with CO2 concentrations, but it could have been perspiration.

    Ah! Here's a half decent link: http://scienceline.org/2007/09/10/ask-knight-mosquitoes/

    Though I'm type ), so I must have some other repellent qualities. (Shut up Nathan.)

  59. Actually, I'm not type ), I am in fact type O.

  60. Crap! I missed the Dr. Phil conversation.

    ::waves frantically::

    Hi, Dr. Phil! I remember you! Hi!

    Okay, that's out of my system.

    Dr. Phil, you really should hang around more (time permitting). Most of the Hot Chicks around here have serious cases of Nerd Love. You fit right in!

  61. No offense taken at "doc", I just didn't want to be accused of doc-jacking. And Janiece, I should've been here -- I just have too many places to keep up with and Jim's lovely site slipped through the data.

    Dr. Phil

  62. I'm on the early shift.

    Where is everybody?

    Nobody up yet? Damn.

    And here I was ready to spill the beans about all of the celebs on the movie I'm working on right now.

    Guess it'll keep.

    ::You snooze, you lose::

  63. I'm here now Nathan! Spill, spill! I'm waiting anxiously!

  64. So entirely missed this whole thread..DAMN you guys were chatty...

    - Hi Dr. Phil

    -The planes that flew the Canadian Moose were obviously American, as most of the Canadian planes and helicopter could not carry such weight..they tend to um..fall from the sky with notice.

    -SSS used to be issued to us in our kits upon arrival at Borden and earlier at Ipperwash. I can't be in the room with the stuff, but Keith has a strange attachment to the stuff..perhaps triggering something in the scent memory part of his grey matter.

    -3:31 AM????? Nathan are you nuts? how the heck can you be productive at that time of the morning?

    -ok, that is all..i feel caught up now.

  65. Kimby,

    I'm pretty sure Jim keeps his blog in the Alaskan Time Zone. Not that I shouldn't amaze you, but that's not a reason.

  66. I get thrown by his blog being in his time zone all the time. I have to sit there & add the hours in to figure out what the heck time it is. I keep forgetting if it's 3 or 4 hours. Not easy when my brain gets addled.
    Nathan, I'm still pissed you didn't spill. Was it something I said, or were you just being a tease?


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