Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Approved for all Audiences

You know, sometimes the code, it just doesn't work.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

Ah, no. Big fucking no.

See how you do.


  1. That piece of shit doesn't work at all. I got a fucking 0% too. Motherfucking not working piece of shit Cuss-O-Meter.

    Oh, and sorry for the language. My bad.

  2. Sonofabitch! Maybe it doesn't use english language swearing?

    Chingata tu madre!

    Always glad to do my part.

  3. I knew I could count on you guys!

  4. That is one fucked up tool.

    It said HCDSM had "0%" cussing, when in fact, today's entry did in fact drop the "F Bomb."


  5. Yeah, I tried this last night when I was playing with the cannibal thing--I can feed, like, 13 or 14 people--and I came up with a mothefucking four percent myself.

    I think one problem with the cocksucking bastard may be the way the fucker divides pages with cussing over pages total. I.e. it doesn't look at the whole shitload of entries, just the pages containing cussing. So if you take all the pissing and ranting on this page and then the first page contains relatively tame entries (focusing on some awesome fucking birch bowls, say), then you end up with a misleadingly low ratio--it's 50%, sure, but fuck that noise because this motherfucking page is loaded with some shit-talking, ass-kicking, piss-taking, ball-dragging, motherfucking, bitching language that would make your momma weep to see what kind of guttersnipe she inadvertently raised. And every other tame page weighs the total down--you'd have to fucking cuss on every goddamn page to hit a 100% ratio, which is un-fucking-likely unless we're talking about fucking David Mamet's blog. Does David Mamet even fucking write a blog?

    So we're just gonna have to call bullshit on this particular exercise.

  6. That thing is fucking delusional.

    It must be all hopped up on heroine.




    (fall over laughing)

  7. And I got 0% as well.

    But that's probably about right for me, since I rarely curse in my posts, only on the comments.


  8. hopped up on heroine

    Tess of D'Urbervilles?
    Mary, Queen of Scots?
    Anne of Green Gables?


  9. heroine

    Ah, see I thought she was quoting Dancing Barefoot by the queen of punk, Patty Smith.

    Son of Bitch you guys are cracking me up today.

  10. Nathan, if you were to get snotr on my heroine, she'd come uncunted on your ass.

    (I had to work my favorite taboo word in here somehow, especially after Eric's epic offering)

  11. Uh oh, my cuss-O-meter is twitching.

  12. Tania,

    I've never even heard that one before. It just sounds impossible somehow.

  13. It may be possible Nathan, but I think it would be really messy and possibly involve surgery and six weeks off from work.

  14. How about just skip the farkin' surgery and take the six weeks off?

    Yes, I am a geek. Yes, you are too if you know where my one lonely cuss word comes from.

  15. Uh, that would be frakin'. Or frakkin'.

  16. Oh ho, so it's obscure scifi cuss words is it? Feldercarb to that I say.

  17. You know, when I was a kid my dad a sign above his desk that that said "Profanity if the last resort of the inarticulate motherfucker" and I've tried to live my life by that maxim.

    Regarding uncunted, can we say prolapse*? Hmm?

    And swearing? It's a good thing I don't find you all to be a bunch of smegheads.

    *ouchy ouchy ouchy ouchy

  18. Shards! Perhaps we could continue this conversation in a more suitable venue?

    By the Horse! I believe I've been asking for nothing else for the past hour!

    And Tanya, ouch was my initial response to uncunted.

  19. Michelle, it's killing me. Shards is obviously Pern. I can hear someone in my head saying "By the Horse!", but for the love of little green apples, I can't place it. Will you please tell me? Please?

  20. Oh, well if that's how it's going to be, Belgium all of you.

  21. Tanya,

    Not Pern, sorry. I'm not a fan of Pern. It's all Steven Brust, The Khaavren Romances is what I was primarily channeling.

    Of course now I wrote that, I want to go back and re-read them, and it hasn't even been a year since my last re-reading.

  22. smegheads
    I think I love you, Tania. That's one of my favorite shows.

  23. Eric, that was neither in a screen play, nor was it artistically used, no silver bale.

    And Jim, you obviously broke it.

  24. The fine folks over at Second Breakfast seem to have broken it - at least it stopped working right about the time Ken tried it.

    They have a recurring theme called "The Friday Fuckoff Thread" where people can vent their anger at annoying things and people. Val Prieto usually takes top honors, since it's hard to out-cuss a pissed-off Cuban.

    I think those posts overloaded the meter.

  25. Brust! Of course! I'm so eager to read Jhegaala when it comes out.

    Anne, we love the BritComs, yes we do.

  26. ::bows to the masters::

    I am not worthy. I will never be able to aspire to "cussing like a sailor" status.

    I'll have to be satisfied with the obscure words type of insult. "Why, sir, it's not the words you say that offend me, it's the halitosis that accompanies them."


Comments on this blog are moderated. Each will be reviewed before being allowed to post. This may take a while. I don't allow personal attacks, trolling, or obnoxious stupidity. If you post anonymously and hide behind an IP blocker, I'm a lot more likely to consider you a troll. Be sure to read the commenting rules before you start typing. Really.