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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ask Stonekettle Station

Today’s Google query?

Why are liberals such hateful little bastards?

Glad you asked.

It’s because Liberals are assholes. They listen to Rush and Glenn and Ann and Sean and they know who real Americans are, yessiree. They’ve banded together in large groups of angry people to denounce the president for being black.  They roam the streets bombing Planned Parenthood clinics and beating up queers and they’re making damned sure that nobody gets in to see a doctor unless they can pay pay pay.  They went to Europe with Jesus and came home with Rentboy, but they’re not gay oh no not even a little bit of gayness, nope. They love God and Sarah Palin and they hate those lying elitist dinosaurs and they don’t want none of that evolution monkey shit in the schools.  Those goddamned hateful little liberals started two wars and they can’t wait to bomb the fuck out of Iran too. They burned down the environment and strip mined the planet and they’re out there right now drilling, Baby, drilling. They’re…

…oh, uh, wait a minute.

That’s not right.

Heh heh, sorry. I got confused there for a moment.

Never mind.

8 comments:

  1. Nick from the O.C.May 11, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    Is it "hateful little bastards" as in "full of hate" or as in "they are hated"?

    And if they are bastards, then who is the real father?

    relur = to lur again

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can: opened
    Worms: everywhere.

    Now you've done it, Jim. What, were the drive-by visitation numbers dropping? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey!!! I'm not little, I'm 6' 3", and about 280#.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What did Gene Wilder say in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? "No, stop. Reverse that."

    weelli- what Republicans are shaking at Rentboy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sir, the same thing happens when people ask me about Marines being gay.




    squiliot: a really stupid sailor/Marine

    ReplyDelete
  6. Y'know, to be fair - the furthest extremes of both sides, right and left, can be pretty virulent and hateful. And that's what gets the press, not the pragmatic moderates.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The difference, Jeri, is that the conservatives are kicking the moderates and those pussy progressives out of their party.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll have you know that my height is in the range considered average and I need to lose weight! As for why I'm hateful and a bastard, well...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...well screw you, that's why!

    ReplyDelete

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