Busy, busy day today.
I’m going to be out of town for the next week and I needed to leave early today, so I worked through lunch and decided to grab something from a window on the way home.
As it worked out, the only place to stop was the McDonalds in Eagle River.
I really hate McDonalds. They’re the antithesis of what food should be. I’ve had MRE’s that are closer to a real meal than the shit McDonalds tries to pass off as food. Today was no exception, I got a Number 11 (the “Filet O Fish Meal) with iced tea, and a “cheeseburger.” The fish sandwich was cold, the burger was cold, the fries were cold, and the tea was sweet. Neither the burger nor the fish sandwich had ever been hot, because the cheese square on each was completely unmelted in any way shape or form. The fries had been hot at one time, long long ago, because they were now soggy and stale. The tea, seriously how in the hell did I end up with sweet tea? I watched the little screen thing as they rang it up, it said Iced Tea not Sweet Tea – and seriously here, this isn’t Alabama, we’re about as far North as is it possible to get, why would they even have sweet tea? Why? I can not tell you how much I fucking hate sweet tea. I was on the highway before I discovered that they hadn’t managed to get a single damned thing right. 100% fail.
I didn’t eat it and I damned sure didn’t drink that disgusting tea.
I wasn’t even particularly pissed.
Because that’s about what I expect from McDonalds. Well that and the filthy gas-station style bathrooms. I mean, honestly, I don’t think it’s possible for McDonalds to get the order right, and so far they’ve proved me correct pretty much every single time. At least they are consistent.
One of the things about living in Alaska, I sure miss In-N-Out. As far as fast food burgers go, they’re the very best – and ironically, In-N-Out is modeled on the original McDonald Brothers restaurant in San Bernardino, California, i.e. what McDonalds was before Ray Croc bullied the brothers out of their family business.
So, here’s your very important question: If you have to eat fast food, what do you consider the best? The most palatable? Particularly the best burger (you non-carnivores may substitute the tofu and bean sprout product of your choice).
Now, we’re not talking burgers made in a place without a drive-through. Real burgers, hand made, charcoal grilled to perfection, smoothed in bleu cheese on a toasted bun with hand cut steak fries and an Irish Red. We all know that the best one of those is at Henry’s in San Diego’s Gas Lamp District. There’s no question there. No, what we’re talking about here are burgers that you get from a window. I’m partial to In-N-Out, as I’ve mentioned, I’ll eat Wendy’s if I have to, but I’m open to suggestions.
Remember, the right answer gets you a seat at the table in the shelter when the zombie apocalypse comes, the wrong answer gets you smothered in ketchup and sent out for pizza. Alone. In the Dark.
Think before you answer. It may be the last time you get to use your brain without it being covered condiments and zombie phlegm.