Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Stonekettle Station Answers Sarah Palin’s Question

"How's that hopey, changey thing workin' out for ya?"

On behalf of America, I’d be happy to answer that question, Sarah.

How’s that hopey changey thing working out?  Well, it’s working out a damn sight better than the folksy former governor we Alaskans elected. You know, the one that was supposed to be bi-partisan? The one that was going to end politics as usual? The one that was going to bring big-oil to heel here in Alaska and who promised to put citizens above the lobbyists and corporate interests? The one that was going to end corruption in Juneau? The one who vowed to represent all Alaskans?

You know, the one didn’t do any of those things and then bailed out on us in the middle of her term so she could concentrate on helping America by becoming a millionaire? The one who forgot her bi-partisan promises and turned to spreading hate and division and partisanship?  You know the governor who abandoned her state and the people who elected her so she could sell books and tour the United States giving speeches?  I’m talking about the politician who sold us Alaskans down the Goddamned river in order to further her own agenda.  You know who I’m talking about?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, the hopey changey thing is working out one hell of a lot better than that, actually.

You know, Sarah, I’d be damned careful about mocking somebody else’s campaign slogans when your speeches consist primarily of sound bites and stock phrases designed primarily to elicit applause from the Tea Party folks. 

In other words, how’s that bullshitty thing working out for you? 

Hypocrisy is like that, it comes back to bite you in the ass.  It’s kind of like deriding the president for using a teleprompter and then using one yourself, like every other politician (or news reporter… say, didn’t you used to be one of those? Of course, I suppose you could write your speech on your hand instead).  Or calling out a member of the opposition for using the word “retard” but giving Rush Limbaugh a pass when he it does it repeatedly, and in fact actually mocks the handicapped, solely because he’s on your side and you need his support and audience. 

How’s that two-facey hypocrisy thing working out for ya?

"In the campaign, we tried to bring attention to the fact that Obama had really not a lot of experience. And I do say that my executive experience, as an administrator, as a team manager if you will was, and so was John McCain's as a matter of fact, was stronger and we had more experience than Barack Obama did in terms of managing huge multi-billion dollar budgets and thousands of employees…and that hasn't changed.”

That hasn’t changed? 

So you’re saying that your year in the governor’s chair of one of the smallest state governments in the Union trumps Obama’s year in the Oval Office? How has it not changed? Is that creationy sciencey math? Or are you including Todd’s experience at running the state too?

How’s that whole mathy for beauty queens working out for you?

I’ll tell you what, I’m damned glad to have a president who believes in America again. Who believes that our ideals and laws apply to everyone – not just those deemed worthy by the arbitrary whim of those in power.

"[Obama] is treating the trials of these terrorists and kind of as, gosh, they're on a crime spree right now. No, we are in war. We need to treat them a little bit differently than an American who is worthy, an American being worthy of our U.S. constitutional rights. I don't think the terrorists are worthy of our rights that people like my son fight and are willing to die for."

I’m glad to have a President who actually knows Constitutional law, who taught it at one of the best institutions of higher learning in the world, and who understands what the Founders intended when they broke free of the arbitrary power of King George – and why they did so.  And I’m damned glad to have a leader who has enough confidence in the America that I fought for to trust that a criminal caught red-handed (or red-testicled, so to speak) in an act of attempted mass murder could be easily convicted in a US court of law.  Honestly, if you don’t have that minimal confidence in our justice system, one of the most fundamental institutions of the United States, and you can’t understand why this is so important, then I really don’t want you in the White House.  Seriously.

NOTE: Also, as retired veteran, I think it’s important to point out that I don’t want any President who thinks that US Soldiers are only required to fight and die for those they deem worthy.  We swear an oath to defend the United States and all of her citizens, even those we don’t like.

NOTE: And as long as we’re on this subject, as a veteran, I find it utterly detestable for a politician to use the military as emotional pawns in their political debate – most especially their own children.  It’s dishonorable and disrespectful and it demonstrates a profound lack of understanding of America’s professional military services and any who would do so are not fit to command those forces.  I can’t speak for your son, but you have no right whatsoever to use my service to score political points and you have no fucking idea what I was willing to fight and die for.

And speaking of the military, how’s the war-mongery working out for ya?

You said you didn’t think President Obama could get re-elected…unless he gets “tough on terrorism.” So you suggested the following:

“Say he played the war card. Say he decided to declare war on Iran, or decided to really come out and do whatever he could to support Israel, which I would like him to do.

Declare war.

On Iran. 

In order to get re-elected

Are you serious? Or are you fucking insane?

Seriously?  We’re up to our ass in two wars now, and you want to start another one? I bet that’s a real popular idea with your son’s squadmates.  More saber rattling.  More of the Bush Doctrine.  You going to bring back the draft too? Because that’s what it’ll take to wage three wars at the same time.

Also, as long as we’re on the subject, just so I’m clear on it, the President shouldn’t apologize to France when we act like jackasses, or bow to Japan when we need their help to give people like, oh, your son for example, better odds in the war zone – but, we should declare war on Iran because Israel wants us to? Is that about right? 

Going to sacrifice another 6000 American Soldiers to help bring about the Rapture? Going to sell out the whole country for your goofy religious beliefs? Going to march our kids off to yet another war for Jesus?  Is this the common sense you’ve been telling us about?

"How's that hopey, changey thing workin' out for ya?"

Frankly, it’s working out just fine, Sarah.

Just fine.

Thanks for asking.



I am aware that Stonekettle Station is on the verge of becoming the All Sarah Palin, All The Time blog, but I swear, every single time this pitiful excuse for a human being opens her mouth I feel compelled to respond.  Not all of us military folks and damned sure not all of us Alaskans are as bugfuck bananas as this evil witch and I think it’s important that people know it. - Jim


  1. Why, that's not big and steamy at all, Jim. Matter of fact, kinda smells like... like... like a fresh batch of SarahPalinSitDownAndShutTheFuckUp sauce - all warm and chocolaty.

    Had another head-banging moment this morning with a coworker - we were both banging our heads at how anyone could possibly listen to this windbag. She's starting to look more and more like another Hitler. Seriously, she's WISHING for another fucking war?

    And I'd like to add my name to the UN-bugfuck bananas list, please.

    Thanks, Jim.

    comaced - the meds Sarah should be taking.

  2. The Iran thing totally blows my mind. I wasn't surprised that she thinks American laws should only apply to certain Americans. And the "retard" stuff is just more of the same. But she actually wants to start another war? And people cheer for her?

    My PARENTS cheer for her.

  3. My PARENTS cheer for her.

    So do mine.

  4. She's a pretty face with the mentality of the watermelon, thats really all she has going for her

    The dirtbag republicans follow in the foot-steps of people like her

  5. Megan and Jim, my parents do not cheer for her, because she's dumber than a box of rocks and being smart is valued in our family.

    So at least I have THAT going for me.

    If she ends up in national office, though, I'm moving to Yellow Knife and hanging out with Megan and the Ice Bloggers.

    mishi = what I shall have to eat if I move to Yellow Knife.

  6. It's funny that you mention her this evening, Jim: I was watching an old favorite movie tonight and a classic bit reminded me of Sarah for a change, offering a different kind of laugh than usual:

    GEORGE: You mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong? We turn the sound down on her and say rude things.

    -George Harrison, A Hard Day's Night


    whedica: evidence that the creator of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Firefly has been present. "Winona Ryder's meek-but-all-powerful Willowesque character and the abundance of snappy one-liners and non-sequiturs in Alien Resurrection are classic whedica."

  7. Tsk! Why does Sarah scare you so much, Jim?


    One of the blogs I stalk was doing a live feed and chat while she spewed. I could only watch for about 5 minutes and was afraid I was going to fling the computer out the window.

    She's such a smirky, self-satisfied, stupid bitch, I want to just slap the shit right out of her, which is odd because I'm normally such a calm, serene type.

  8. Ooooh! Steamy new content.

    Fine. I'll be more patient next time. It's worth it.

  9. Speaking as a unelected (and unelectable) representative of the Great White North: you're welcome. Just keep her on your side of the border pretty please.

    tweditio: an old-fashioned tweet

  10. Nick from the O.C.February 9, 2010 at 8:03 PM

    What's really good about Ms. Palin's comments is that she's giving the opposition plenty of ammunition to use against her, should she decide to run for public office any time in the future.

    I, for one, encourage her to keep talking. More sound bites, please!

    saist = one who worships those who speak aloud logo, the sacred word.

  11. Jim,
    Two quick points:
    1) Palin is not running for anything in 2010. I honestly think that she is out there trying to harm the current administration, by hook or by crook, in order to distract attention from the fact that the minority is not offering anything but roadblocks.

    2) Local and Senator\Representative elections are what we are being distracted from. We recently heard (in Colorado) that the Brown election was a condemnation of eliminating tax exemptions on certain products (numerous exemptions are being eliminated to balance the state budget.)

    Let her keep talking, the available rope will be piled high by the time the 2012 election comes around.

    brope = the metaphorical rope that Palin will hang herself on if she try's to run for president in 2012

  12. As a proud employee of the Justice system, I thank you for that particular part of your rant.

    (My parents drank the Fox News Kool-Aid on that one, and can't seem to fathom why demanding that we try these guys in military tribunals is a slap in the face to me and everyone I work with.)

  13. Palin's supporters are blind to her hypocrisies. She appeared in Texas on behalf of Gov Rick Perry. Attendees said they came only to see her, not Perry. Palin chose the well connected Perry over the upstart Tea Party candidate, Debra Medina. Go figure, not mavericky enough I guess.
    Palin fanatics think they found a female Messiah. Kind of like when Jesus appears on a pancake.

  14. Great, now I want pancakes for breakfast.

  15. I remain fairly certain that Mrs. Palin has her eye on the Presidency. The fact that her bid is clumsy and slightly insane puts people off the scent, I think--"No, she's just interested in becoming rich/famous/popular." The problem is that these are all very much the same thing, I think, in Palin's mind, and part and parcel of a mindset that has decided that being picked out of obscurity to stack the town council only to end up a Governor and Vice-Presidential candidate is part of some grand entitlement (perhaps divinely ordained, or maybe simply God's blessing her with the attributes she's always known she had--haven't her repeated successes proven that the people who said she wasn't a great athlete or superior student or even, simply, all-that-smart have been wrong?).

    People who think Sarah has an intelligent or organized plan overlook the fact--very clear between the lines of Going Rogue--that every step of Sarah Palin's career since her quasi-elopement to Todd Palin (and possibly even since her high school graduation) was made possible by others, starting with Nick Carney and going on through to the McCain campaign team. Not being a particularly grateful person, however, Palin has routinely turned on almost every benefactor or patron she's ever had, leaving a trail of burned bridges behind; this leaves her doing it on her own now--which, mind you, is how she wants it, because in the Palinverse every person who did her a favor or engineered a triumph for her was merely an obstacle or ankleweight when everything was said and done.

    Nate Silver, by the way, has a typically good analysis here that's worth a read. Silver nails it, I think, though he possibly misses the point that Palin may be inherently incapable of taking good advice or keeping good advisors; but then I don't know if Silver's read Rogue.

    I will be shocked if she doesn't make a bid in 2012. And the fact is that while I'm far to the left of most Democrats, much less most Republicans, I would prefer a less-terrifying Republican candidate to a joke; a joke, after all, might win. Nobody would have said an aging actor who was once upstaged by a chimp or a grinning idiot fratboy would've had much chance of being elected to the Oval Office, and Reagan and GWB were both two-term Presidents.

    Put another way: if I'm out walking and I see a copperhead on the trail in front of me, I don't equate the fact that it's one of the most-singularly stupid vertebrates on Earth with an assumption that it's harmless.


    racklet: ... oh, come on, this one's just too frakkin' easy....

  16. Sarah Palin is like the music of Vanilla Ice. Repetetive, obnoxious, and after a few moments, thinking people want to listen to something else, sometimes very badly.

    Remember Vanilla Ice? I hope the Palins are destined for exactly that sort of obscurity.

  17. speaking strictly from a military point of view, and jim can back me up on this, Marine study war that why we are as effective in a combat zone as we are. and one of the things we study is how militaries become the pawns of an oppressive goverment system, thats why the military takes it's marching order from the congress, the representatives of the people, with the exception of the Marine Corps 30 day action policy no military unit can be deployed in an offensive stature with out congressional approval, and frankly i think if it came down to it the military would take up agianst the gov't if it became an oppressive regime, we serve the citizens and the constitution, not the goverment, thats why we can releave those in command for incompatince of command.

    totters= hotters for B cuup and smaller

  18. The iran thing blows my mind. I'm not surprised that she thinks American laws should only apply to certain American. But she actually wants to start another war?
    She's such a smirky, self-satisfied, stupid bitch, I want to just slap the shit right out of her!
    God help us if the Republicans do manage to get her into office by cheating like they did with G.W.
    Thanks, Jim....


  19. From my friend Roberto --

    Question: If the most apt description of Hilary Clinton is "Nixon in a pantsuit" then what does that make Sarah Palin?

    Answer #1 -- Dan Quayle in a pantsuit

    Answer #2 -- David Duke in Drag

    Feel free to contribute your own responses...

    proni = tendency to overuse pronouns in one's writing

  20. I was wondering if Dan Quayle was gnashing his teeth over Sarah Palin. I can just imagine him calling Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon about having breast augmentation because it turns out all he needed to be a viable candidate is a pair of hooters.

    geste= a guest testicle

  21. Here's the thing I was thinking about this morning.

    Since Palin isn't actually running for anything (at the moment), neither Obama or his staff or really any elected can dignify her with a direct response. That would only legitimize her.

    What I genuinely hope...is that they'll continue to ignore her ravings once she is actually running for something. At most, I'd like to see a one time response to her along the lines of, "Ms. Palin has been contorting the truth, imagining scenarios and just, plain making up stuff for the last (insert time frame). I (we), don't consider her blatherskite to be firmly enough rooted in reality to warrant a direct response."

    When the time comes, I'd really like to hear her opposition dismiss her as the lightweight liar she is.

  22. My previous comment is missing the word "official". Please feel free to insert it anywhere it helps you to follow my train of thought.

    Note: All trains are running behind schedule due to the KILLER DEATH-BLIZZARD attacking the East Coast of these here United States. (The storm is probably the Democrats' fault!)

  23. Oh, Jim, you made my day!! Again.

  24. Just ran into a great comment on Sarah. "Reich wingnut"

  25. Nathan, the storm is Jim's fault.

    And Eric, I, too, want a viable candidate from the Republican side of the house. In spite of my own tax-and-spend-liberal status, I don't like not having CHOICES, and a ticket that includes a reich-wing nut is not a viable choice under any circumstances.

    cricst = on a crutch

  26. Seems a TV newscaster in reporting that Sarah had twitted the President for using a teleprompter, commented to his audience that he agreed. After all newsmen didn't use them but memorized what they would report.

    At this point his teleprompter mysteriously died for the rest of the show and he had to read the news from his emergency script.


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