Thursday, November 26, 2009

Changes To Stonekettle Station Commenting

Folks I’ve turned on word verification for comments.

I really don’t like having to do so, but I’m suddenly getting a rash of spambot type comments from eastern Europe.

The price of fame, I guess. In recent months the readership of Stonekettle Station has roughly tripled. I don’t really know why, the site is just suddenly a whole lot more popular. I’m now pushing about 2000 daily readers, sometimes considerably more than that - usually on Mondays, from corporate servers, I seem to provide an alternate to actual work. Fridays, the visit counter is usually around two or three hundred until after quitting time on the west coast, then it starts climbing.

With the increase in readership has come a marked and sudden increase in spam comments.

I know some bloggers just say screw it and leave them. To me that’s like having an uninvited guest vomit in the middle of the living room floor at a party and just leaving the mess there for everybody to walk around. I hate spam and I don’t want it on my site. I pay for this place and I put a lot of effort into it and I’ll be damned if I’ll let this crap stink up the place.

I’m sick of having to police the spam, so I’ve turned on word verification. If that doesn’t stop the problem, then I’ll be forced to disable anonymous commenting altogether and only allow registered users to comment on the blog.

This pisses me off immensely.

It pisses me off for two reasons:

1) I fucking hate spammers. I hate the mentality behind spam. I purely despise these intestinal parasites and the amount of time, effort, bandwidth, money, and assets these lousy sons of bitches take up every day. I put spammers on the same level with child rapists and Dick Cheney. I want them hunted down and ripped apart by wild dogs. Every last one of them.

2) I fucking hate the ignorant stupid mouth breathing goobers who click on spam. Listen up you stupid bastards, the only reason that spammers exist in the first place is because you morons keep clicking on the spam links. You have to be the stupidest, more ignorant, most retarded dipshits on the planet. My stupid furball of a cat has more sense than you, and he enjoys licking his own ass. Stop doing it, you’re ruining the Internet for everybody else.

Sorry for the inconvenience, gentle readers.


  1. Great Post! Come check out my site: http://totallynotascam.com

  2. It's what I do. That and Linux tips. But Linux tips didn't seem as appropriate... ;)

  3. I dunno, the way you do Linux tips is pretty funny.

    I still bust out laughing every time I think of that review you did with the netbook made out of Styrofoam meat trays.

  4. You should totally buy my DVD then -- that is in the "Bonus Features" section. :)

    Just sayin... hehehe

  5. Oh I will, I will.

    I've asked for it for xmas.

  6. Dude, you must REALLY have everything you ever want if my DVD is on your Christmas list. LOL!

  7. God bless us, everyone.

    No, seriously, I ask for things like that, otherwise they buy me tools - and nothing good ever comes from that. Black & Decker, Craftsman, shudder.

  8. Uh, Jim. My cat has asked me to post the following on his behalf, so like, don't get mad at me. I'm just the messenger.

    "Dear Mr. Wright. I resent the use of 'enjoys licking his own ass' as an indicator of stupidity. I lick my own ass and I do enjoy it, and I dare say that based on what I've seen, most of you people would be delighted to partake, if you were anatomically suited."

    Sorry. He gets like that. But since I'm here, I never thanked you for the cat feeder, I mean, birdhouse. Nice work. Thanks and hope your holiday has been a great one!

  9. But Jim, if I never click on those spam links, how will I ever make my penis bigger so I can please the ladies all night long? I'll never know the secrets of making money the easy way from home, completely legally. I'll never get my Wal-Mart gift certificate or the free iPhone that are waiting for me, waiting, Jim, for me.

  10. My blog was left alone for a long time until I discovered that my one post which had a Christmas SF short story -- a Christmas story! -- was being used by anonymous types with long strings of words, some in Cyrillic. Had to sequester Anonymous commenting in a queue. More recently I had registered fake LiveJournal users putting porn links across a bunch of comments. Had to waste time pulling those out with tweezers.

    Bastards just for that -- but then a lot of these spam sites drop dirty software into your computer and the moronic operating systems say, "Bend over and install this shit without telling anyone? How far and yes sir!"

    Yeah, they're scum and should be hung by their balls until they rip off and then fall into a festering pit so their wounds will get infected and they'll die.

    Or something.

    Dr. Phil

  11. Sorry for the inconvenience, gentle readers.

    Who the fuck do you guys think he's talking to?

  12. He thinks he's that guy that ran for the SFWA president gig...what was his name?

    Only I think he used the phrase "gentle beings" or something equally douchey.

    And I will not rest until Eric can satisfy me all night long while wearing his R0lex.

  13. Eric will love you boom boom long time with his dynamite love muscle of love.

  14. I am soooooo stepping out of this conversation.

    Signed, a fucking jerk.


  15. Some spamming guy in the Midwest just got convicted. He got a lousy 48 months in jail (or some such way-too-low number). I think he should have to serve 1 day for every spam he sent. Since some days, he sent 70 million spam messages for some chinese penny stock, that's a very long sentence. Much more appropriate.

  16. Well, you could do the converse, Lauren - give him 48 months in a Chinese jail.... ;)

  17. They've also been plaguing me and I have no clue as to why. Seriously, my readership is a fraction of yours, and still they come. It wouldn't be all that bad if they just weren't so damn incompetent about it.

  18. I'm getting spams that don't even have links in them. I mean, even the "anonymous" name isn't clickable.

    What a waist of time!


    (Jim, If I have to look at word verification, so do you.)

  19. I just thought you meant the middle of the time. Where it wears its belt.

  20. counter measures are sometimes needed sir, don't be afriad to employ them. just why is my word boot i hate being a boot


Comments on this blog are moderated. Each will be reviewed before being allowed to post. This may take a while. I don't allow personal attacks, trolling, or obnoxious stupidity. If you post anonymously and hide behind an IP blocker, I'm a lot more likely to consider you a troll. Be sure to read the commenting rules before you start typing. Really.