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Monday, September 24, 2012

Catbox

I get mail.

Lately I’ve been getting a lot more nice fan mail than usual.

I’ve gotten quite a bit of email lately from folks who say they’ve just discovered Stonekettle Station, usually through a link from some form of social networking, and that they enjoyed something I wrote.  A couple of my recent essays got spread far and wide, in particular Also, Nazis! and Mitt Romney: A Simple Test of Character, and that seems to be the cause behind a sudden spike in my inbox volume.

Thanks for that.

Especially the nice lady on Facebook who offered to have my children. I appreciate the thought, but I’ve got it covered.  However, if I was a Republican I’d be all over that like a conservative Cahleeforniah governor on his housekeeper. 

Oh what? The guy is a member of the pious holier than thou party, he knocked up the maid, and then kept her and the resulting child in his own house with his wife – and he was surprised when the wife figured it out.  It’s never too soon for that joke. Never.

Anyway thanks to those of you who took the time to be thoughtful and well spoken. I try to reply to as many of you as I can, even if it’s only a quick one-liner.  But sometimes I just can’t find the time to get to each and every one. Life, you know, tends to interfere. Even if I didn’t respond to your email, I am grateful to all of those who take the time to write.

I also get email from people who are, shall we say, somewhat less appreciative of my viewpoint and essays.

Typically I just delete angry mail after reading the first line, if that, unless the crazy seems to be of the extra special crunchy variety.  I’ve got to be honest, sometimes I enjoy those even more than the fan mail.

And occasionally I get one of those that addresses issues I’m already thinking about and essentially summarizes the loony crap et al resident in the rest of the hate mail.

I like to answer those gems publicly:

Somebody posted your blog stone kettle kitchen about Mitt Romneies character on facebook…

Stone Kettle Kitchen.

I see a number of daily search hits for that phrase.  Usually from Yahoo!, which seems to be the wingnut search engine of choice.

Also, some folks need to be a little more discriminating with the Facebook friending thing, I’m just saying.

... I guess you think your pretty cool with your ugly squint face and that stupid hat. What are you thinking some kind of clint libwood? 

Ugly. Stupid. Clint Libwood. Honestly, you couldn’t work in “retard” and a racial slur or maybe a comment about my sex life? No swiftboating?  Frankly I don’t think you’re really trying here.

However, that said, I do want to thank you for so clearly delineating your level of mental maturity right up front.

That way I don’t have to feel bad about what comes next.

I tryied to comment but my blog keeps disappearing. I guess you would rather listen to your "echo chamber" even thou I wasn't a "d#ck."

Pet peeve: if you’re going to live in the 21st Century with the rest of us, learn the goddamned terminology. 

I blog. You comment.

If you’ve got a blog that keeps disappearing, you need to talk to your platform host. Writing me about it gets you nothing except public ridicule.

OK, two pet peeves: People who bleep out the bad words.  I was in the navy, welcome to Liberty Hall, you can spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard. Hell, you can call the cat a fucking asshole for all of me. She might rip your head off, but it’s not like you’re actually using it for anything anyway, right?

The rules of my site are clearly posted. Here’s the rest of it, articles more than three days old are automatically moderated by software. This significantly reduces the amount of effort required on my part to deal with comment spam, trolls, drive by assholes, and other unsavory characters such as yourself.  When you attempt to post a comment on a moderated post, the blog clearly tells you that your rambling illiterate gibberish is awaiting moderation. That means my software dumps the obvious spam and queues the rest for me to look at before it’s allowed to post. Since I usually have the internet with me wherever I am, I typically review your comment immediately – unless I’m engaged in wild jungle monkey sex at that very moment, and sometimes even then because I’m nothing if not there for you. 

I get a lot of comment spam, and to be honest sometimes I just can’t tell the gibberish from black market Viagra spam posted in Lithuanian.  It all looks pretty much the same to me and to be blunt I just don’t care enough to put forth any extra effort.  It seems to me the extra effort is something that ought to be on your end.

So anyway, if your comment adds to the conversation I allow it to post, otherwise I dump it in the trash along with the aforementioned spam, troll droppings, empty pudding cups, and your mom.

Every once in a while, I miss a valid comment in moderation or the software makes a mistake.  I’ll fish it out eventually. Be patient.

I’ve addressed the “echo chamber” comment elsewhere, but here’s the thumbnail version: I don’t like you. I don’t like how you behave. You irritate me. You irritate my cat and since my cat is an unerring judge of character, and she thinks you’re an asshole, I bow to her opinion. You can’t spell. You can’t form a coherent sentence. You’re an abrasive idiot. You demonstrate a cognitive malfunction and an intellectual misfire every single time you open your mouth. You think that quoting Rush Limbaugh and/or your particular Holy Joe is a valid substitute for having an actual functioning brain of your own.  Here’s the bottom line: You just don’t meet the minimum standards for membership in the conversation.  You can’t even get the name of my website correct despite the fact that it’s clearly printed in giant black letters on the top of every page.  So why in the hell would I inflict you on the other patrons? 

Now, upon occasion I do allow a trollish comment to post and remain on the blog.  I do this for two reasons, 1) it amuses my rather odd cat, and/or 2) because it underscores the point or points I was trying to make in the post.  For example: I write a post about homophobes, homophobes show up and claim they’re not homophobes and then proceed to make homophobic comments.  QED. Win on two counts, the cat’s happy and I’m happy.

That said, despite the fact that I cannot and will not suffer fools gladly, I am not a socialist liberal communist Nazi hater of America. I am, in point of fact, a free market capitalist.  And to prove it I will allow your deleted comments to post – for a fee. Yes, that’s correct, the liberals I’ll let post for free, you on the other hand are going to have to pay.  I think you and I can agree that it doesn’t get any more Republican than that. The price is $1000 per comment, cash, in small bills, payable in advance.

Very well Mister Wright, you right very good and you have lot's of adhoring fans but the devil also speaks with a silver tongue and has lot's of fans just like your "messiah" Oblammer.

Look, here’s the thing, your screwy Iron Age religious beliefs are your problem, you’re not going to make them mine. This is nonnegotiable.

And really, The Devil? That’s your argument?

C’mon, seriously? You’re kidding, right?

Horned goat demon snake man hiding down in the fiery  bowels of the earth. Where are you from? The 14th Century?

I don’t need the threat of some medieval holy man’s vision of eternal damnation to scare me into behaving like a decent human being.  The simple truth of the matter is this: If you need that threat, and the promise of some eternal paradise after death, in order for you to not be a dick in this life, well, you sort of are a dick anyway, aren’t you? Also, on the face of things and given history, that threat works about as well as the one parents use to keep in the kiddies in line around Christmas time.  The difference being that a lump of coal is real, Hell isn’t. Just saying.

Look here, I didn’t sell my soul to Satan in return for facility with words, instead I work at my craft. I write well because I’ve spent a lifetime learning how to acquire, analyze, and present information. I realize you think that’s unfair but look at it this way: if your version of reality is true, you suck so bad at the basic mechanics of putting words down on paper that even the devil himself apparently can’t help you. That’s hardly my fault, that’s all on you, Buddy.

…The signs are lcear we are entering the End Times. You have to be a clusless fool to turn your eyes from that.  If you call yourself a Christian you know that even the blacks are leaving the demoRATS because they don’t want to vote for evil Hussien Oblammer who believes in gay marriage and abortion…

Even “the blacks” are leaving… 

Ah, I see the problem. You’re mixing medications. All by itself undiluted Rush Limbaugh leads to irreversible brain damage and a marked shriveling of the frontal lobes.  But mixing Rush with distilled Anne Coulter in a Talk Radio Speedball is just plain toxic. You risk permanent blindness, copious drooling, and an overpowering urge to snort cocaine out of Karl Rove’s ass crack.

I’ve got to hand it to you though, for a guy who’s obviously operating with severely reduced lobage and in a limited cognitive framework, you managed insult my hat, call me ugly, and work Satan, abortion, and sparkly gay marriage all into the first paragraph.

No wonder my cat thinks you’re an asshole.

…if Mohammid Hussein Oblammer is elected again by you liberal idiots there will be revolution!

Like Dance, Dance, Revolution?

Oblammer knows it because why else would the facists homeland security have been building up their supply of ammo by over 500%? Mitt Romney is right we need to get this lieing muslin out of office before he makes any more treason on the constitution which he keeps changing with one “executive order” after another and new admendments. . Oblammer can’t fix what’s wrong with this country when he says ok half of so-called takers to free loading from the makers America can only be saved by putting God back into the schools and governmetn, because…

OK, stop right there.

For crying out loud, just stop.

Hell and sunfire, I think I need a drink. Or five. 

The cat has stopped calling you an asshole and is now sitting in her litter box using words that make even a retired Chief Warrant Officer blush.

You’re making my head hurt, and it’s not because you’re so sophisticated you’re hard to understand. Honestly, you think like a monkey with a head injury – and that’s probably an insult to brain damaged monkeys everywhere.

Makers. Takers.  Excuse me a minute while I go make water and take a piss on my copy of Atlas Shrugged.  Enough with the Ayn Rand already. It’s a science fiction book. A really crappy science fiction book. Why don’t you just go get your brain scrubbed down at the local Scientology mother-ship and have done with it. Shut the hell up about Ayn Rand.

Frankly, at this point I’m starting to suspect that you don’t actually know anything about your government at all. And by at all, I mean like at all.

In fact, I’m starting to think you learned everything you think you know about the United States from watching reruns of the Back To The Future trilogy, only you thought Biff Tannen was the hero. Because unless you really are a monkey with a head injury, I simply can’t fathom how you could be so astoundingly ignorant. 

Citizens are the heart of a democracy, which sounds like a great idea until one realizes that by definition half the population is below average in the brains department.  Some are way below average

And it’s not like average is all that great of benchmark to begin with.

You would make George Washington despair for the future of any republic and weep in frustration at the utter futility of it all.

Look here, you can’t “make treason on the constitution.” However, that “revolution” you promised? See, that would be treason.

And you can’t amend the Constitution through executive orders.  Executive Orders only apply to, wait for it, the Executive Branch of government.

The president can’t give you an executive order unless you actually work for him, he can’t give Congress an executive order, he can’t give the Supreme court an executive order, he can’t give state governments an executive order. Because, and stick with me here, that would make America a dictatorship by original design – and really, don’t you think the Framers would have noticed that when they penned the Constitution in the first place?  

One thing I’d point out, the Second Amendment you so like? Not the part about guns, the other part, the bit about militias?  Used to be the president couldn’t give the state militias executive orders either, but then a conservative congress gave a republican president that exact authority with the willing complicity of the state governors – including Mitt Romney.  That wasn’t Obama, Biff.   Obama just inherited that authority from his predecessor. 

You ever wonder why the National Guard is fighting so much of the current war? Under command of the federal government? There you go.  Be sure to thank Mr. Small Government States’ Rights Mitt Romney for that, won’t you? But really, I’m sure you can trust everything else he says. Sure. Nothing to worry about.

Speaking of Mitt, he was right? Half the country is made up of freeloaders?

I assume you’re referring to Romney’s 47% comment.

Sigh.

Looks like Rick Santorum was more right than he knew.

I’ve addressed the 47% thing elsewhere, so has every fact checker in the world.  It doesn’t hold water. Period. But you know what? As I said previously, there is a germ of truth to Romney’s comment. That’s right. Some people and institutions that should be paying taxes, aren’t. They get the benefit of living in America, they get protection and infrastructure and subsidies and they rake in huge profits. 

They don’t make jack shit, but they take in plenty.

Yes, there’s a big group of folks who make a lot of money and don’t pay taxes. The only thing they make is bank.

Like Jesus.

You want to talk about freeloaders?

Jesus is the ultimate freeloader.

You want people to start paying their fair share?  No problem, let’s start with the churches. 

You get the TV Evangelicals and the Pope to start coughing up at the corporate rate, you get every church in America to start paying for all the tax free entitlements they receive here in this country, and then you can get back to me.

As to putting God back into government, here’s the thing: God did run the government once.

That’s right.

Christians. Muslims. Jews. Deists. Polytheists. Animists. Hindus. Holy rollers with pointy hats. Each one has had their turn at bat. There was a time when the priests and preachers, the shamans and the witch doctors, the imans and the ayatollahs, and all the other Holy Joes ran their chunk of the civilized world – and there are places where they still do. 

And what did they do with it?

Did they advance the human condition?

Did they make giant strides in science and knowledge and medicine and art and social structures?

Was peace and brotherhood the law of the land?

No.

Instead, without exception, those societies lived in technological and social stagnation and passed the time by burning people at the fucking stake.  And when they got tired of that, they invaded their neighbors. That’s what happens when god runs the government.

So no thank you. God can stay the hell out of my government. And that too is nonnegotiable.

…Gods law is absolute.

Yeah, that’s what bothers me. Laws shouldn’t be absolute. 

Absolute and inflexible laws remove any need for thought, for freewill, or allowances for the various permutations of everyday human existence.

Absolute laws remove equally the option of compassion or ultimate punishment.

Absolute laws lead, always, to tyranny.

And which laws are we talking about anyway? And which God? It makes a difference, you know (OK, not really).

But just for the sake of argument let’s say you’re talking about the Christian God, here’s something funny, those Ten Commandments? One of them is a prohibition against covetousness.  Thou shall not covert thy neighbor’s ass or wife or BMW – or especially your neighbor’s wife’s ass in her BMW.  Since coveting stuff is really the whole entire basis of capitalism (seriously, capitalism doesn’t work unless everybody covets everybody else’s stuff. Everything else pretty much follows that, just FYI) I’m pretty sure God just outlawed free market economics. 

Looks like God is a communist. Well hell, so now what?

Hey, don’t get pissy with me, this is your goofy belief system complete with numerous inflexible mutually incompatible logical inconsistencies, not mine. You got a beef, Biff, you take it up with that socialist hippy you’re so big on. Tell me what he has to say about it.

But I digress. Again.

 

If you need me, I’ll be busy cleaning out the litter box.

Like my email queue, there’s a couple of stinkers in there that need my attention.

152 comments:

  1. "an overpowering urge to snort cocaine out of Karl Rove’s ass crack"

    Holy flaming cat shit, Batman! I can't say I spit my coffee all over my laptop, because I try to learn from past mistakes and therefore placed my beverage far away BEFORE I began reading, but that particular piece of imagery had me laughing until I was wheezing and gasping for air like a landed trout.

    Or like the Terminator on the surface of Mars before the magic alien thingy gave the entire planet an atmosphere in less than ten seconds. And seriously, can you believe they re-made that movie AND Judge Dredd?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. Only Stonekettle Kitchen (sic) newbies have their beverages nearby when reading a new post.

      Delete
    2. I put the drink down whenever I open a link to this page.

      --Hawk

      Delete
    3. I'm no newbie, just a slow learner. I need a Guinness-proof keyboard.

      Delete
  2. I wonder if that is a "real" bit of wingnut mail. There weren't enough blocks of ALL CAPS, nor !!!!!!!. And too many of the words were spelled correctly. (They did manage to misspell Romney....) Sure, they did the usual cRAT etc, but their grammar was better than that found in the typical Nigerian scam letter, so I have my doubts.

    They didn't even accuse our president of socialism. No word salad. This person is taking their meds, even if the dosages may need a tweak or two.



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  3. After Steve Gilliard's untimely demise, I really missed reading his occasional pyrotechnic pieces that started off with an odiferious piece of right-wing twaddle and proceeded to kick the writer in his shriveled nuts over and over again. Not because I learned anything I didn't already know, but because sometimes it's refreshing to see the art of mockery displayed with exquisite skill.

    Good on ya, Mr. Wright. Keep on taking it to them where they live.

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  4. Never, NEVER, insult a man about his hat.

    Dr. Phil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it ends with "the dirigible in flames and i've lost my hat"
      and any plan where you lose your hat is?
      a bad plan?
      right again!

      Girl Genius webcomics by phil and kaja foglio...
      short form:
      never insult a man's hat

      Delete
    2. Love the "Girl Genius" reference. Thank you!

      Delete
    3. Cannot go wrong with the Foglios....

      Delete
  5. Don't! ... Stop! ... Please. Don't Stop!

    Another fun break in my week.

    Thanks!

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  6. I had to comment. WOW. But also:

    "Absolute and inflexible laws remove any need for thought, for freewill, or allowances for the vagrancies of everyday human existence."

    Such are the vagaries of the English language that your trolling vagrants, the ones being cleared out from under the bridge and put straight in the catbox, make a little sense right here

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    Replies
    1. yes I caught that, too. But to be fair, "vagrancies" could be a fix of some typo for vagaries.

      Delete
  7. "So why in the hell would I inflict you on the other patrons? "

    Just one of the many reasons you're my god, JW. There are actually some blogs that I really *really* like but being the OCD kind of gal that I am, I also like to join in the afterglow of commentary. And most of the time, it's not worth wading through the white trash mishmash of fucked up name calling asholery (a pet peeve of mine as well, but tell me, is there a peeve before it becomes a pet?).

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  8. As always, a great post! While I do profess the Christian faith, I am a Christian who doesn't believe the church should be trying to run the government. Unfortunately, it seems that those who beat their chest and proclaim their great faith, rarely practice the humanitarian ideals advocated by Jesus.
    Thanks again for writing this blog, I look forward to each new post.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you're here. You're a rara avis. There are way too many chest beaters around these days. They scare me.

      Delete
    2. I'm in complete agreement with Msttfn, including the professing part. I also think we're not as rara avis as we must seem, Alycia. But that's precisely *because* we're not chest beaters--or as I like to phrase it, bulgy-eyed pulpit pounders. {sigh} How I wish we could take back our word "Christian"; too many keep using it and it does not mean what they think it means.... :(

      Delete
    3. Welcome to liberal Christianity, Msttfn. There are a few of us around.

      Delete
    4. There are lots of us. We're just not attention seeking assholes.

      Delete
  9. I’m pretty sure God just outlawed free market economics. Looks like God is a communist. Well hell, so now what? Hey, don’t get pissy with me, this is your goofy belief system complete with numerous inflexible mutually incompatible logical inconsistencies, not mine.

    Jim, you bastard, you made me snort hot tea out my nose.

    Someday, you should just critique Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead and get them out of your system. I would pay for that. In a book.

    Barb

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    Replies
    1. me too, on all of it, except it was lukewarm (thankfully) coffee.

      Delete
    2. Ooh, Jim on Ayn Rand... That would go well with the Slacktivist's deconstruction of all the Left Behinds. I would also buy that.

      And, as mentioned higher up, do not be drinking anything while reading our estimable host. Before, sure, and/or toast him after. But during? Probable sinus and/or lung lavage.

      Eve

      Delete
  10. Thomas de Quincey had a pretty good explanation for these types of folks, way back in the early 19th century, "If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

    Always a pleasure to read your stuff, thank you!

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  11. "Honestly, you think like a monkey with a head injury – and that’s probably an insult to brain damaged monkeys everywhere."

    Hahaha...as always....awesome stuff!

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  12. I think we need presidential campaigns every year just to keep you on this kind of roll! And yes, I learned from reading comments here to put down my coffee cup before I start reading. Thanks for making me grin in the morning!

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a delight, to roll into this room and find one of your blog posts first thing. Coffee at Stonekettle Station; it doesn't get much better than that! Yes, 100 is an average IQ, and at least 47% of the population seems to fall below that line. Makes one wonder if we threw the baby out with the bathwater when we as a society condemned eugenics...just sayin'

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    Replies
    1. That would not work due to regression towards the mean. It is probably the only reason we have not sunk
      To the level show in the movie "Idiocracy".

      Delete
  14. "don’t you think the Framers would have noticed that when they penned the Constitution in the first place?"

    You're way over their heads now. And I think you go to far assuming they have opposing thumbs.

    A lot of 'snorters' here today. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. These goofy turds don't just sneak into your blog and e-mails, they are going public with their hate. Check out Blue Chick in a Red Barn's blog.
    She lives in an affluent neighborhood north of Dallas.
    This is what the Republican party has become.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Done. Checked out "Blue Chick in a Red Barn". I'll be back. Thanks for the hint.

      Delete
    2. Ooh, MCPO, thanks for turning me on to Blue Chick's blog. As a fellow Blue Texan fighting the good fight against my red (in the face), tea-baggin' neighbors, I hastened over there to lend some moral support!

      Delete
    3. Thank you. Have bookmarked her blog and will visit regularly. I'll also share her work with my unfortunate friends who are condemned to live in Texas.

      Delete
  16. Fabulous post, as always. I have finally learned NOT to be drinking anything when I read your blog. And now I am going to run right out and post the link on my FB page.

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  17. One thing about writing your blog, you do have something to look forward to each morning when you get up. Reading comments from all the red winged peckerhead fugitives from the loony bins.

    Being Blue in a Red state I get to hear all of this live and in person everyday. You can't even go out to lunch without hearing all the little snarky comments when they are reading the crawler on Faux News. Reminds me of the line from "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger, "And you always seem outnumbered, You don't dare make a stand", but then sometimes I say WTF and do.

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  18. everytime I get frustrated with politics here in The Netherlands,I read your blog(which I thoroughly enjoy) and am reminded how grateful I am not to be involved in the dog & pony show that is an American election campaign. The level of absurdity, battiness, brainlessness, feeble-mindedness, idiocy, ignorance, imbecility, ineptitude, nitwittedness, shallowness and thick-headedness that some people display really blows my mind. Here in Europe I am considered very (politically) conservative, however, I have a feeling I would be burned as a witch by some Republican cronies. Coming from a country where an average person over 12 years of age speaks/writes at least 3 languages, it is especially astounding to me that people who are unable to grasp spelling or grammar in their native tongue feel the need to share their ignorance in the first place. Thank you for expressing the common sense I know so many Americans to have; what a shame that the loud noises coming from the nincompoops tend to get so much attention. They need a good spanking and be sent to their room to think about what the hell is wrong with them.

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    Replies
    1. Very well said. Thank you.

      Delete
  19. LOL, er, kraw-kraw-kraw. But I do have a point of disagreement.

    "those societies lived in technological and social stagnation and passed the time by burning people at the fucking stake"

    At times no: the Dar-al-Islam was once a bright center of the world. But those times are gone. From my viewpoint, most major religions are currently past their sell-by dates.

    I suppose we may expect, as Yeats foresaw, a great revolution in spirituality in this century. Ulp!

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    Replies
    1. Right, didn't they invent algebra or something like that? Or the concept of "zero?" Weren't they pretty much the scientific and mathematical leaders of the world until the Popes and Kings decided that the Crusades were a good idea?

      Delete
    2. The word "algebra" is a variant of the Arabic phrase al-jebr. They were the transmitters, rather than the inventors, but they did do that. Muḥammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī (780-850) was often credited as the inventor of algebra, and presented the first systematic solution of linear and quadratic equations in Arabic. The mathematics is probably older, from Indian and Greek sources.

      I am not sure how the Dar-al-Islam fell. The last remnant, the Ottoman Empire, allied itself with the Central Powers of World War I and was broken up and colonized at the end of that war.

      Delete
    3. The reason Islam stopped being liberal and progressive and pro-science and pro-thinking was because one Imam in Baghdad wrote that science and thinking about science were "corrupting" and that "True Muslims" should only think about the Qu'ran.

      So, Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are much more like some Muslims than they want to think about.

      Barb

      Delete
    4. I recently had occasion to check out this Wiki entry relative to the Ottoman Empire and found that, truth be known the Ottoman Empire was quite benevolent to its people until ethnic battles within the empire began.
      Interesting read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suleiman_the_Magnificent

      Delete
  20. You have such a way with words, Warrant. I'm gonna share this with all my right-leaning, mouth-breathing "friends"...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Glober (as in big light bulb)September 25, 2012 at 8:14 AM

    Time to give your cat another treat.
    You definately hit all the major points, although you didn't point out that you right well is actually "write", but then I think you humilated him enough.
    I did learn something new yesterday though, the reason the "right" wants to see Obama's college transcripts is that they say "Foreign Exchange Student" on them. REALLY?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, birthers are convinced that he listed himself as a foreign student when applying to colleges. I believe that if birthers could time transport themselves back into the delivery room, they still wouldn't accept President Obama's Hawaiian birth. Saw a joke that a voice out of the heavans told the assembled birthers, "accept it, he was born here" and the birthers replied, More Proof, More Proof.

      Delete
  22. "lieing muslin" - doesn't that have something to do with dress making and putting the fabric out on the floor to cut it? Is our President designer now too?

    Love the "treason on the constitution" - is that when you eat something that makes you violently ill?

    Yes, we need SOMETHING back in the schools if this commentator's educational level is any indication!

    Better quit reading these to your cat or she'll just cough up a fur ball on your keyboard as a comment, or on the bathmat for you to step on. That's what mine does.

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    Replies
    1. I was also wondering what plain cotton fabric had to do with the President. Maybe he designs the great outfits Michelle wears!

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    2. There's a fairly notorious Teabagger sign that accuses Obama of being a "Secret Muslin". It shows up in all of the Most Ridiculous Teabagger Signs lists. It's one of my favorites. :-D

      Delete
  23. "Used to be the president couldn’t give the state militias executive orders either, but then a conservative congress gave a republican president that exact authority with the willing complicity of the state governors – including Mitt Romney. That wasn’t Obama, Biff. "

    This may be technically recent and permits the giving of executive orders without Federalization, but the President has had the authority to Federalize National Guard since at least 1953, on his authority. Eisenhower did this in Little Rock in 54

    http://bit.ly/QJspVm

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    Replies
    1. You are correct re: President Eisenhower. However, it was the advent of the Mid-East War era that caused the shifting of our national guard from a local militarized group to an actual foreign fighting force. I recall the anguished calls for actual usuable materiels, etc., from the National Guard during these times.

      Sad sad sad.

      Delete
  24. That is the Best laugh I have had ALL day. Thank you for that!
    "You risk permanent blindness, copious drooling, and an overpowering urge to snort cocaine out of Karl Rove’s ass crack." Priceless!

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  25. YOU MUST BE A MUSLIN MEMBER OF THE DEMONCRAP PARTY! AMURCA LOVE IT OR LEAF IT

    How was that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Needs moar Jesus!

      Also, Nazis. Just sayin'

      Delete
    2. Lemme see if I can cover the bases...

      SEEKRIT MUSLIN SOSHULIST NAZI COMMYNIST KENYAN FASHIST MURRICIN-HATEIN ANTICRIST WIF LIBRUL AGENDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111ONEONEOneonewun

      How'd I do?

      Delete
    3. wait, wait, I want to try that!!! Ok, here goes:
      Wy u clusless nazi panzy ass librul!! GOD"S GONNA BURN YOU IN HELFAR... hell I can't do this, it hurts...am I too educated for the repubs? Damn sure hope so.
      But I really like the new word, "clusless"!!!

      Delete
    4. Now these are the sort of emails that a real wingnut would send. (but still missing the homophobia)....

      Delete
  26. Someone's in the kitchen with Nazis,
    Someone's in the kitchen I know, oh, oh, oh,
    Someone's in the kitchen with Nah-zissss,
    Strummin' on the kettle of stone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh great, now I'll have that stuck in my head all day

      Delete
  27. Thank goodness I found a post today. I discovered this blog last week and then you went 5 days without a blog post and I got worried.

    Keep up the really good work and I shall remember to pause to swallow my coffee before reading it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's part of my nefarious plan to heighten the anticipation

      Delete
  28. Only thing I can think of is: bwahahahahahahaaaaaa
    Thanks for another great post. You just made my day.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Don't worry about it, everyone - I learned today that the REAL POLL NUMBERS indicate Romney's in the lead. As opposed to all those LIBERAL polls, I mean. Since I read it on Facebook, which referenced an ABSOLUTELY TRUE article over World News Daily, I know it must be true.

    What?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I think I enjoy the commenters on WND more than the articles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just so. And I, too, clearly need to moderate my Facebook friends in a more discerning manner. The guy who posted this gem was a family friend when I was growing up who has evidently boarded the bug fuck crazy train in the interim. Posts this kind of crap several times a week, but I've been reluctant to defriend him because I have fond memories.

      Clearly I need to divest myself of such sentimentality.

      Delete
    2. NO, don't divest! You need to know who is on that train.
      I've never opened my Facebook, my daughter set it up, because my e-mail tells me who is posting. I'm 69yrs. old and the "friends" posting are almost all on that train.
      I never would have guessed have spent most of my life at sea while they grew hair in their palms.

      Delete
    3. You got that right, Master. I liked my family and friends a Hell of a lot better when I was half a world away defending their right to be ignorant, poo-flinging monkeys. Just sayin'.

      Delete
    4. My 77 year old mother has been expressing dismay to me about her friends who have succumbed to the RWNJ mentality and keep sending her incoherent crazy emails. She asks me, "What has happened to them? They used to be intelligent, happy people; now its all Obama is evil and coming to eat your grandchildren and redistribute your money." I tell her - "Dementia".

      Delete

  31. I just made the mistake (again) of reading your blog here at work on my lunch hour. It's only a mistake because I have to take great pains not only to move my beverage (thus to avoid inadventent sinus lavage), but also to retain my unassuming demeanor whilst sitting at my desk. The management might well object to me laughing out loud until I cry.

    That said, it does my heart good to know that you are possessed by a rather odd cat. My husband and I are possessed by five rather odd cats, one of whom really likes to sit in my lap when I am reading your blog at home. Just last night, we serviced their litter boxes, and I don't think we shoveled as much shit as was contained in that single email!

    The thing that constantly puzzles me is this meme of rendering a person's name into something else - Obummer, Oblammer, what-have-you; I've even seen the First Lady referred to as "Moochelle" (since I've seen it in more than one place, I wonder which wingnut thought it up in the first place). Is that meant to pass for intelligent discourse?

    Rest assured, you're much appreciated over here in Pennsylvania - and keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks, Jim! You have made so many points in this one post that I have been trying to convey for a while now. Unlike you, I am no good at putting my ideas together in a cohesive manner because I get too emotional and start switching gears. I love your posts. Keep it up.
    P.S. I am with your cat on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  33. "Absolute and inflexible laws remove any need for thought, for freewill, or allowances for the vagrancies of everyday human existence."

    Sounds like something Frank Herbert would have said (or pretty much did, actually, in the last two "Dune" books)

    It's exactly the same reason I've always had problems with "zero tolerance" rules in schools. Absolute rules take away our motivation (and eventually, through mental atrophy) to think about context. And if context doesn't matter, then we're no better than machines (Herbert may have said something about that, too).

    And finally, I love your take on Ayn Rand and religious government. Never ceases to amaze me how, throughout history, those two ideas have always been an abject failure, yet the far right somehow plans to have BOTH and expects it will work out somehow. Never mind the fact that the two are mutually exclusive. They still both suck, and together they will suck doubly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meant to say (and eventually, through mental apathy, the ability)

      I should really proofread my comments better...

      Delete
    2. And "apathy" should be "atrophy" there....

      Sheesh

      Delete
    3. Great observation about absolute laws and zero tolerance. One and Done - that's a recipe for no one ever taking any chances, risks, etc - killing innovation. If you get a chance to read it, there's an article by Dr Jerry Harvey (organizational psychologist more famous for The Abiline Paradox) that talks about foregiveness and grace. The article is titled, "Capt Asoh and the Concept of Grace".

      Delete
    4. re Frank Herbert, "The Dosadi Experiment" is even more daring in exploring social trends and truths.

      Delete
    5. Love "The Dodadi Experiment!" Very interesting commentary on forced artificial scarcity, and the potential repercussions of oppression. I should go back and read it again. It's been almost 20 years...

      Greg, you are dead on. Zero tolerance makes people afraid to step out of the box, creates a scenario where anything but compliance is punished to the fullest extent. Plus, there's something about telling someone "you screwed up once, and you're not important enough that I need you around, so no srcond chance for you" that's just dehumanising.

      Delete
  34. I'm dressing up as Jim for Halloween and speaking in nothing but SKS quotes the entire time. Should be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  35. My cat just snorted her nip...

    This post is great! Thanks for the humor, because otherwise, well, this stuff is just tragically pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Coffee cup is now with a spill proof lid (and I have tested it, thanks a lot) and my cat is happily sprawled across the keyboard.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Well, Jim, as a believer in a Trickle Down Free Market Capatilist system, IF you are going to charge $1000 per comment shouldn't we readers receive, say, $10 each for reading? Try to work that in for us to make up for the lost time that we will never be able to retrieve again...

    ReplyDelete
  38. This article neatly sums up about every religious and political argument I've made over the past twenty years. Well done, sir.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm another of those who have recently discovered your blog. So far I have found your commentaries excellent and have passed your location on to others. Have you considered a "Greatest Hits of the Mouth Breathers" post? Could be quite entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  40. My belly hurts. Thanks for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I, too, discovered your blog from a FB post. Hilarious. Keeps the idiocy in perspective. Thanks. And you take some pretty rockin' photos.

    ReplyDelete
  42. "Ugly squint face" and "stupid hat"?????

    He's just JEALOUS!!!! He wanted someone who looks like you to be on HIS side, lololol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm good with "ugly squint face." I ever start a band, that'll be what I call it. Our first album will be Stupid Hat

      Delete
  43. Well, I'm not about to offer to have your kids, but I'd gladly send you some of my home made preserves to return the favour of your blog.
    I love the way you jam.
    8^J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the way you jam

      Marti is my new favorite.

      Delete
  44. I simply love asking idiots for money to comment!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I can't believe you brought your cat into this! My cat has much more immediate concerns like convincing me it's time for more attention (keeping that itchy chin properly scratched is a full time job). I’ll be keeping an eye open for your sister blog Stonekettle Kitchen, if it’s half as much fun as your blog then I’ll be a happy camper!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Do you ever get any thoughtful and intelligent disagreement letters? Or are they all like that? The low intelligence level is so disturbing I can only think about it for about a second. It is incredibly entertaining to watch (read) you take someone on! I think you should debate Mitt Romney - I would love to see that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That letter isn't even close to the worst of what I get.

      Upon occasion I get intelligent disagreement, but it's not very common. And I almost never get intelligent disagreement in the comments section. Never. It's always crazed trolling, typically including attacks on my military service, my patriotism, and so on. I used to attempt a response, thinking that you could maybe have an adult conversation with the more coherent trolls.

      I was wrong.

      Even if the conversation started out reasonable, it quickly disintegrates into bugfuck crazy. The comments under my America series are a good example. They begin here. Under the second essay in the series, is a commenter named Tex Taylor, who after he was banned, posted again as Wayne Perrim (or maybe it was the other way around, I forget. Tex, Wayne, he went by a number of aliases until I banned his IP address). The increasing irrationality of his comments is a perfect example of what I'm talking about.

      If you look at the comments under all three America essays, you note a large number of trollish comments. It was at that point I adopted my "you can't reason with unreasonable people" philosophy, and just started deleting them instead. I got tired of them stinking up my place and I resent the time they take up. Fuck 'em, they can behave or they can go elsewhere. Again, the rules are clearly stated.

      I'm not a psychiatrist, it's not my job to fix crazy people and I'm not going to try.

      Delete
    2. I commend to you troll whisperer Teresa Nielsen Hayden's remarks on the subject of moderation. Here's a sample:

      "I've done my time and then some on Usenet. If learning to moderate online forums is like studying trolls and demons, then hanging out on Usenet is like living in Sunnydale: if you survive long enough, you'll eventually come up against one of every kind of monster -- and after a while, your reaction will change to 'Bored now.'"

      Lots more at:
      http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012691.html
      http://boingboing.net/2007/11/17/fox-news-porn-the-pr.html#comment-226738524
      http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/013672.html

      Delete
  47. I swear excerpts from that letter could have been lifted from the emails and facebook posts of a former co-worker of mine.

    Excellent job in taking it apart in your usual style.

    Just a quick observation - it's funny (both strange and amusing) that through the magic of the internet you're able to get both such a wide fan following and as wide collection of non-fans. Something in your thinking, writing, and style attracts both and should be considered a compliment. Congratulations from one of the former.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I think that now is the time for us to say "Don't vote for Stupid"
    Really. These people are in control of our House of Representatives.
    They are, as a group, extremely stupid. We should NOT vote for them.
    It's bad for us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! New slogan for Romney's campaign war room:

      "It's the *stupid*, Stupid!"

      Delete
  49. Oblammer? Is that supposed to be clever? Really? This is the kinda person who thinks that candy corn is delicious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Mohammid Hussein Oblammer"

      I too am clusless...

      I have to say though, I rather like the Stone Kettle Kitchen idea, I'd never have to leave to go eat.
      Thanks again, Mr Wright- another great post.

      bd

      Delete
    2. Stone Kettle Kitchen:

      "We stew it, you spew it!"

      Gawd. I'm on a roll today.... *schnort*

      Delete
    3. Candy corn *is* delicious...I agree with your political views, though...

      Delete
    4. My favorite from the Kos saturday morning hate mail dump is "Socialist fuckstick". (I think that the message that contained that one was the winner for the year. Yea, not only do they provide a dump of them, but there are quarterly votes, and an annual award for the "best" of them)

      Delete
    5. I like a little candy corn, expecially the chocolate kind. Other than that, I agree.

      Delete
    6. FYI,

      Candy Corn is vile and horrible. Tastes like distilled earwax. Colored to look friendly and inviting. A deliberate distraction to fool you into thinking that it is appetizing. Besides all the candy corn ever made was manufactured in 1914, it's simply collected and redistributed by the same people who make fruitcake for the holidays. I know this because Lewis Black told me so.

      Delete
    7. By the way, exactly what flavor is a "socialist fuckstick"?
      Is that anything like a drumstick or a dreamsickle?

      Delete
  50. What's this shit about the church's preaching politics on a certain day coming up soon as a protest against the churches freedom and right to freely speak of what they want. Sounds like Jesus's little helpers are getting pissed.

    Sorry I'm a little vague on the facts, but the wife just spewed forth some kind of warning of this to me, as I typed.

    What's up with that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're talking about this. Funny, it doesn't say anything in that 1st Amendment about tax-free status for churches.

      Delete
  51. Can I hug you?

    Because you said a lot of things that I would LIKE to have said to some of the more crazy people who comment.

    (oh, yes, and I also clicked "I cried" because, once again... "I laughed until..." is the unspoken part at the beginning of it)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Dear Good Gravy!!!

    You were slaying me with most of the comments, but floored me with "Ah, I see the problem. You’re mixing medications." I *LOST* it laughing at that comment...and was completely helpless until I called someone and passed on the link so *they* could laugh in my place (hurts laughing like that on a sore throat...especially when I was spraying the mirror with Listerine every time I thought about this piece)

    Words can't say how much I appreciate your writing...and how much I look forward to each new missive. Meanwhile, there's the archives to feed my habit in between.

    THANK YOU, sir!

    ReplyDelete
  53. A comment and a question...(or 3)

    Ayn Rand as science fiction? Could you point out any functional science in any of her works that are actually germane to and in support of her philosophy?

    The sponge-brain you dealt with above was truly the proverbial "shooting fish in a barrel." Do you take the time to respond to posts (assuming you get any) from literate and educated Conservatives who are actually able to provide some support for their position?

    (And I've only checked "Anonymous" as my comment ID as none of the choices offered seem to fit.)

    --Bruce C. Miller

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In answer to your first question: no, probably not. Though I suppose if you squint your eyes and suspend your disbelief, John Galt's perpetual motion magic electricity from thin air machine might just qualify. However, the science in science fiction isn't always Buck Rogers and technology. Some of the best scifi science is social science - Dune comes to mind. So does Larry Niven's All The Myriad Ways compilation regarding the effects of technology on society. My detailed take on Ayn Rand as an economist and as scifi is here: Ayn Rand and the Zombies from Outer Space

      As to your second question: that depends. I'd have to get email from a literate and thoughtful conservative who is willing to engage in a rational discussion. This happens upon occasion, but it's damned rare of late.

      Delete
    2. I'd say that most "literate and thoughtful" conservatives are now conservative Democrats and agree with you on most points; I think one could fairly describe Obama as a conservative.

      Delete
    3. I've noticed a strange progression/regression from conservative Democrat to Republican to Crazy to conservative Democrat to liberal here in Texas.

      Delete
  54. You forgot the part about non-sequential serial numbers on those small denomination bills. Really important about that part. Also, no blue dye. Just syain'

    And to all those who think God should be in the gubberment, they should review Matthew 4: 8-10. Been there, refused that. Who's support that big Satan now?

    ReplyDelete
  55. Excellent post, Jim! My first thought on reading the outtakes--er, excerpts from the comment was that no way was it a genuine comment. Someone *had* to be pulling your chain. But would you say that the comment was representative of troll answers you get (i.e., horrendous spelling, poor grammar, faulty logic...)? If so, thank you for sparing your readers. The comments section is part of the fun--(waves at Kay), but I really dislike trollbait.

    And keep that pot bubbling on the hearth at Stone Kettle Kitchen; we need the nourishment!

    Lorraine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get email like this all of the time. You'd see comments just like this here on Stonekettle Station almost every day, if I didn't screen them out. You see tens of thousands of comments exactly like this crap under news articles on Yahoo!, Fox, LA Times, the Wall Street Journal, and World Weekly News to name a few.

      The excepts above all come from the same email. They are quoted verbatim.

      Delete
    2. I also get messages exactly like this via social networking, especially Facebook. This is one of the reasons I have chat disabled on my account.

      Delete
    3. That's actually pretty depressing. The crazy juice must be more widespread than I thought. Also, I should have put "Stone Kettle Kitchen" in italics; I meant it to be a humorous jab at the comment.

      Lorraine

      Delete
    4. I understood your humor.

      Knowing this crowd, I suspect that I'll be seeing a lot of "Stone Kettle Kitchen" remarks in the coming weeks. Jerks

      Delete
  56. Jim - -
    Do NOT shake your head in wonder so hard as to hurt yourself !!!
    Hope the cat is ok.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat is always exactly as she wants to be. Always. That's the nature of cats.

      Delete
    2. Indeed, Jim. Reminds me of Kipling. The Cat is the Cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to him.

      I was underway too early this morning to catch this freshly minted, but what a treat tonight. Then I got a call from a young fellow who was my admin officer is another lifetime and was able to point him this way at which point I was just listening to him laugh and call out especially humorous parts. Trolls occasionally have their uses but thank you for shielding us from them most of the time!

      I will point out only that publically has no "a" and only one "l" just because I don't want you to think that your proof reading staff has deserted you.

      And then, one Old Salt to the other, thanks again and keep them coming!

      Old Navy Comm Stone-kettle

      Delete
  57. Trolls will be drawn and quoted indeed! Thank you for this post - my wife and I are still laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Can you post the recipes for your "Stuff Jim eats that's not good for him" posts on Stonekettle Kitchen? That would be awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Well said and I don't much like Mittens either. But aren't we more of a Republic (Electoral College) than a Democracy ( One man (person, woman, most appropriate)? At least at the Presidential Level.

    ReplyDelete
  60. obSpelling check: imans should probably be imams.

    I'd be glad to help keep the stewpot going on Stonekettle Kitchen.

    Eve

    ReplyDelete
  61. "Looks like God is a communist"

    Quite right. Says so in the book of Acts. The 1st christian community was a commune, and one couple was struck down dead for withholding a portion of their wealth and lying about it (chapter 5). Do these folks realize you are actually supposed to read the book & not just thump on the cover?

    Oh, and I am a relatively new reader, led astray - I mean, to your blog - by a friend's FB post. So thanks for mentioning me (or my ilk - I've always wanted to be part of an ilk)in the beginning of this post. Warm fuzzies.

    Oh, and my reaction over all? (check mark here) "You blog so I don't have to"

    Bruce

    ReplyDelete
  62. Ahhh...Master Chief Jim...once again a succinct and wonderful piece of writing..."snort cocaine out of Karl Rove’s ass crack." you left out "line forming at Fox News!"
    I counter these "christians" with Mathew 7:15, and with a list of our favorite Evangelical Prophets. Then I follow up with Ezekiel 22:25 and ask whether the Wall Street crowd who is supporting Mitt doing the right thing? Is Mitt following the Bible? I love it when these folks stutter and watch the spittle roll down their chin. I don't normally bait these folks but this is getting out of hand and there is this weird sort of feeling, like I just had thrown my two cents in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Slight correction, I was never a Master Chief. I was a Chief Petty Officer, selected for Senior Chief, when I was picked up for Chief Warrant Officer. Even though Chief Petty Officer/Senior Chief Petty Officer/Master Chief Petty Officer and Chief Warrant Officer all have the word "chief" in the title, they are very different things.

      MCPO (retired) up above was a Master Chief. Janiece up above was a Senior Chief (which is why she referred to MCPO as "Master").

      It a small thing perhaps, but it's an important distinction to us. I gave up my right to enter the Goat Locker without asking permission first.

      Delete
    2. Please let me try and explain to our non navy readers.
      JANIECE, ME(MCPO Ret), and Jim, all joined for the same reason. Get the f+++ away from where we were.
      All of us learned that serving our country was FUN.
      I had fun in Quang Tri, I don't know Janniece or Jim, but they learned that the FEAR OF GOD teaches you to lead and have fun at the same time.
      If you haven't been there, you will never understand.

      Delete
  63. My cats approve of this message. As regards insulting your hat: "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything." Or they would if they had a few cells of a brainlike nature. Great post, as usual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Jayne reference. Kado is my new favorite.

      Delete
  64. AAAAAWHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Best post I've read this year. Mega Kitty must be awesome. Muchismas Gracias!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  65. What bugs me is this "DemoRat" wordplay, when it's the Republican candidate who's named Willard.

    And what you wrote about law not being absolute reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Picard: "There can be no justice if law is final!"

    ReplyDelete
  66. Funny shit, Jim. I was going to do up a solid "5" FITREP for you, but I couldn't figure out the designator for "North Woods Blogger Pundit/Comedian."

    ReplyDelete
  67. Amazing! How long has Rep. Gohmert (R-Tx, 1st Dist.) been emailing you? And, he didn't about the Ottoman Empire coming back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops, "... didn't SAY anything ..."

      Delete
  68. Ok, just one teeny-weeny little quibble: it's not the case that "by definition half the population is below average." By definition, half of the population is below the MEDIAN. That's what a median is: the value such that half of the samples are below it and half are above it. The average is the sum of the samples divided by the number of samples. Let's say that your population consists of four people, who have IQ's of, respectively, 70, 100, 105, and 110. The average IQ in this population is 96.25, so only 25% are below it, and 75% are above it. That's why averages are kind of misleading sometimes. (Or, as my Statistics professor put it, "there's nothing special about breasts. On the average, everybody has one.")

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JB, If you are going to get technical, then please at least get it right.
      1. An IQ of 100 is _defined_ as the median. Most people just call it the "average", colloquially. Give Jim a break.
      2. I notice that you used an artificially small and skewed sample size as your example. For a sufficiently large and random sample size, the distinction between the average and the median fades away. Essentially, they merge, as is true for IQ. Your correction was not required.
      3. I was, however, very amused by your professor's joke.
      4. There is no "4". Statisticians made it up.

      Delete
    2. Whatever we call it, I think we all agree that at least half the population is made up of idiots.

      Delete
    3. Most people have two breasts, actually. They just don't develop in most men.

      On average, everyone has one testicle and one ovary, however

      Delete
    4. That's hilarious, Valerie!! As a technical math geek and former Navy Quality trainer (which involved a fair amount of statistics), I appreciate the statistical discussion. I'm sure JB purposely chose his values to illustrate the point of the difference between median and mean (average) and how the median is much less influenced by extreme values on either end (think incomes in some of our recent political discourse). Both are measures of "location" describing some population. It gets sticky when one goes to apply the concept. I'm always amused at political bureaucrats who talk about education in terms of bringing everyone above the average. Statistically impossible.

      Delete
  69. Okay, I'm hooked. Between the cat, the snark, the snarky cat, and your intelligent, pithy comments... well, what can I say. I'm a sucker for a smart man with a cat (I have 8).

    Looking forward to your next blog posting (once I get the cat off the keyboard)!

    ReplyDelete
  70. I think calling this guy a dick does a grave disserice to all dicks, everywhere...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A guy named Dick said much the same thing on one of my previous posts, only he was more of a dick about it.

      Delete
  71. I'm a newcomer to your blog and am loving your smart, spot-on, hilarious commentary on the election and state of affairs in this wacky country of ours. Your words (and many of the comments they engender) remind me that not everyone has gone bat-shit crazy. Thank you for that!

    ReplyDelete
  72. I am so stealing that no coveting vs. capitalism argument.

    ReplyDelete
  73. My cat has a crush on your cat. At least your Kitty doesn't look into someone's heart to assess their humanity, like some former president I know.

    ReplyDelete
  74. About half way through I wanted to yell, between hearty giggles, "I...CANT...BREATHE!" I actually had to get up when your cat started cursing in the litter box so I could catch my breath! Spectacular - Thanks for the chuckle! It helped put all the deliriously stupid hate mail I've gotten into perfect perspective! Robyn

    ReplyDelete
  75. About half way through I wanted to yell, between hearty giggles, "I...CANT...BREATHE!" I actually had to get up when the cat started cursing in the litter box so I could catch my breath! Spectacular - Thanks for the chuckle! It helped put all the deliriously stupid hate mail I've gotten into perfect perspective! Robyn

    ReplyDelete

Be sure to read the commenting rules before you start typing. Really.