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Monday, October 22, 2012

Traveling and Open Thread

Jim is currently lost somewhere in the Panhandle of Florida. Remember those classic 1950’s science fiction pulp stories from the likes of Heinlein and Bradbury that featured Venus as a sweltering fetid swamp filled with giant bugs, huge lizards, and hostile incomprehensible natives? Yeah, it’s a lot like that.


 

I’m currently traveling – despite the best efforts to the contrary by the airlines.

As such, posting here on Stonekettle Station will likely be even more sporadic than usual.

Be patient, this trip is chock a block with blogging material, from the almost unbelievable shittiness of American Airlines to the fact that I’ll be watching tonight’s presidential debate on Fox News from deep within enemy territory surrounded by frothy hardline patriotic Obama Haters.

In the meantime, you may consider this an open thread, talk among yourselves about whatever you like. Sing. Tell a funny story involving a monkey, a hooker, and a can of Crisco. Ask the questions closest to your hearts, I might even answer. Promote your favorite laxative. Boggle at the panicked red, white, and blue shenanigans of Fox News (speaking of a monkey, a hooker, and copious amounts of lard). 

Remember the rules, be polite, be civil, I may be stranded in redneck ‘country surrounded by hungry alligators and large toothless girls in very small pants, but I’m still able to access the internet via the miracle of alien space magic.

Behave or I’ll unleash the laser powered death badgers of death.

109 comments:

  1. Eesh, you're in the Panhandle?? I'm a native Floridian and even I don't go to the Panhandle! Good luck, and let us know if you venture any further down into our crazy state!

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  2. What part of the Panhandle? Head to Apalachicola or St. George Island...best oysters ANYWHERE and I was an oyster-hater til I had those!

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  3. My thoughts are with you in this trying time, Jim. I have a good idea about where you are, and, well, I know it won't easy. Just please try to avoid killing or maiming anyone while you're there.

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  4. May I advise you to stay "WAY" clear of any Walmart... yeah the even put them in the swamp. Just to draw out the swamp critters!

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  5. For once I have lost faith in your "truthiness"... Is there ANY shittiness of American Airlines that could be considered unbelievable? I mean, there may be shittiness that you haven't personally experienced or shittiness that you find hard to believe but unbelievable? I doubt there is ANY shittiness that I wouldn't believe about American Airlines...

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  6. What? You're not on the "no fly" list? Shocking!

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  7. OH WAIT... You said ALMOST unbelieveable... My bad...

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  8. While there, please take up residence and register to vote. Alaska is lost. Florida, maybe not.

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  9. Can we tell dirty jokes? Because I have a really good dirty joke.

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  10. For the life of me, beyond the entertainment value, I don't see what the "debates" are accomplishing. If the polls are close to being accurate (grenade distance vs small nuclear warheads), there is such a small number of undecided voters at this point that the outcome of the election is already concluded - just not yet performed.

    I'll watch it tonight because there isn't going to be much else on television and that means my wife will be watching the Food Channel. Frankly I prefer the plot of the debates to watching someone cook. And I'll be checking on Facebook and around here for the added distraction value

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    1. YOU TAKE THAT BACK, NORMAN! The food channel is awesome. Awesome.

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    2. Oh, the production values are pretty good. The sets are often nearly magnificent. The scripts are predictable and the plots are repetitious and very formualaic. Other than that, it ain't bad.

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    3. Diners Driveins and Dives is one of my favorite shows.

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    4. Norman, you are splendid! That is all.

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    5. My wife and I almost accidentally ran over Guy Fieri while he was doing promos for the Blue Door Pub Episode in St. Paul. He was in the street and close enough for her to pinch his arse had she wanted to try...

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    6. My husbands favorite food network show is the Nature channel.

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    7. I could eat Giada . . . .

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    8. The Food Channel is actually fair to middling dreadful. Create is a much better channel

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    9. Moorcat, I used to like Triple D until i found out Fieri was a rampant homophobe.

      The only food show I enjoy is Good Eats.

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  11. Be careful not to get any froth on yourself. I hear that's hard to remove.

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  12. Hubby and I will be watching debate, just to see how many times Mittens lies, interrupts and disrespects the President.

    We save a couple of teevee shows to watch during the week, ie, Homeland, Treme, Boardwalk Empire, so we do not have to watch Dancing with the CastOffs.

    Here in Middle Tennessee we have a couple of scandals going, the ScottyBagger De Jarlis is the best one. This is the medical doctor who cheated on his wife with a patient, got her pregnant, then recorded his "get thee to an abortionist" convo with her. Somehow, this came out in 2010, the Bagger takeover, and he got into the US House. Somebody got it to HuffPo and it is a national story of DoucheBaggery. CREW filed a suit with the Health Department for ethics violations and the Democrat Eric Stewart is now soaring in the polls. Apparently, being an anti-choice Xtian MD and recording yourself demanding your mistress get an abortion, TEN YEARS ago is still news here. Good. One Bagger out is one more Democrat in the US House.

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    1. What is it about Wingnut Fundamentalist politicians ability to not just shoot themselves in the foot, but take a shotgun to poor thing?

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  13. Wow, Jim - you should be so proud. Stonekettle Station is the #1 result when you google "a monkey, a hooker, and a can of Crisco"

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    1. It amuses me that you actually googled that.

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    2. Rew as in How do you do, my name is Rew and I come from "The SaultOctober 22, 2012 at 6:31 PM

      I hope you don't mind....no...let me rephrase that...I hope your wife doesn't mind that I am falling in love with you...you are a breath of fresh air in this stale room of political smoke and flatulence.....well...hell...actually I'd almost say you come close to some of the great and jaded political satirist of the "Great White North". Rock on with your bad self...sir and sexy. :D

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    3. And Nazis! Don't forget to add the Nazis!

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  14. I was born in P'cola and my extremely nice 96 y.o. grandma still lives there! I don't doubt the presence of scaly beasts in the panhandle (4 or 2-legged varieties), but there are some nice parts, too. What I hear is, never, EVER go to Panama City, tho! Just sayin'... ;-)

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    1. I have family there as well (right wing family...isn't that a terrible way to refer to them?) and can attest to the dangers that lay in wait. Panama City and entire panhandle for that matter, I believe, is referred to as "lower Alabama".

      Bigtoe

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  15. Your premise in the post you did a while ago (Sunday, September 30, 2012; Unreasonable People) has been supported by other material I’ve read lately. I was reading an editorial by Stanley Schmidt in the December 2012 issue of Analog and he was discussing the article written by Richard Leakey: Evolution Debate Soon Will Be History. Stanley disagrees with Richard saying, “The problem is that while scientist build their lives around being persuaded, and persuading each other, “on the evidence,“ most people don’t. My own observations of people say loudly and clearly that many, if not most, people neither understand nor care about evidence or logic. They will persist in believing what they want- and will see that as a virtue (called “faith”)-not matter how much evidence is thrown at them.”

    Not to be outdone, later in the same issue an entertaining short story by Stephen L. Burns (Hearing Impairment) has a plot where aliens (real BEM) who are friendly and benevolent want to help mankind out of the mess we have created for ourselves. Their only requirement was simply stated, “All you need do is admit that we know more things, and more true things, than you do, and consent to our help.” The individual preventing the US from receiving assistance was the factious Representative Duke Longhorn, Chairman of the Congressional Committee on Questionable and Un-American Science who was well known for his work in debunking information that the Moon landings had ever taken place. Sound familiar?

    I could be mistaken but it appears that you have some friends in the science fiction community Jim.

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  16. So, two monkeys holding cans of Crisco walk into a bar. The hooker ducks...

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  17. Are the "frothy hardline patriotic Obama Haters" family or are you missing combat days and have gone behind enemy lines for a rush of adrenaline? (Or am I being redundant?)

    Because, for the life of me, I cannot understand why else you would be bound to watch the debates on Fox News.

    Unless you are secretly Catholic and have some flogging to catch up on. Which will segue nicely into a story about monkeys, hookers, and Crisco...

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  18. Laser powered death badgers of death!! Awesome :)

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  19. Don't forget to go to the Alligator farm!

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  20. Tell a funny story involving a monkey, a hooker, and a can of Crisco.

    You know perfectly well we all vowed not to tell that one until the monkey passes on, out of respect for his dignity. And even then, we promised Ms. _______ that even if she permitted us to tell the story once the monkey is no longer with us, so long as the names were changed or omitted, we would not, under any circumstances, publish the photographs or post the fifteen-minute and thirty-seven second video anywhere (not even heavily pixilated, lest someone identify the Lieutenant Governor of _______ by a birthmark or mole).

    Even now, I've said too much. But there are some things the general public is frankly not ready for, not even those who might have wondered all these many years why the Costco located at _______, in _______, __, ran completely out of Crisco on the evening of _______, __, 20__. Yes, the look on _______'s face before farce turned to tragedy was priceless, but may I remind you, Jim, of your own actions (fast forward the video to 13:19:32 if you've forgotten; and gods only know, if I'd realized you'd smuggled in those pliers, I would have pulled the plug on the whole damn thing when _______ started to _______ at 9:23:04--and a dialysis machine, really, was that absolutely necessary?).

    I will never eat a jelly-filled doughnut ever again, Jim. Let's not deny everyone else that simple pleasure while dragging a certain "borrowed" and returned circus animal through the mire of public disgrace, depriving him of whatever peace he may find in his waning years.

    It isn't like they offer therapy for that kind of thing, and if they did and we taught that poor primate how to sign, don't you think he's smart enough to name names? And it isn't like any of it was legal, unless we were in Arkansas, which I was actually too drunk to remember and besides I don't want to know; I can't tell a Grand Jury what I don't know.

    Let's never mention this again. Not even in private. Now, hush.

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    1. Eric - VERY entertaining and creative!!! :)

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    2. :: giggle! ::

      Ahem. *recovers* Full marks, Eric, and thank you for your insightful views on the monkey/Crisco/hooker allegations only recently come to light.

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    3. Standing O! Especially for the exquisite use of _____________

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    4. Oh wait! Do you suppose *this* is what Donald Trump is going on and on about? I can hardly wait until Wednesday!

      ~schnort~

      Eric, that was brilliant.

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    5. Hmm, 15:37 video? Let's see....
      Is- is that a grapefruite? No, that's just the way she's holding the chicken.

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  21. We can sell his shop tools on e-bay and equip him with really good stuff from Craftsman or even better, Powerkraft

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    1. Oh, man. Isn't it bad enough he's stuck with swamp zombies? Threatening his tools is just evil, dude.

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    2. Watch out for the reputedly evil shop cat, who is (knowing Jim) probably a good shot.

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  22. My attorney says that, while I may not TELL the story, I can relate that I am legally restrained from any public remarks about the monkey, hooker, and can of Crisco in question, especially in any format which would touch upon WHICH Raleigh hotel I was arrested at in June of 1993.

    Boberto will FOREVER remain my favorite monkey, though.

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    1. I was going to use that, but then she wasn't yet a hooker at the time of the can of Crisco.

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  23. A-h-h-h! Just down the street from Corey main gate. Cozy little bar, cute Kiwi named Sue.
    Too many years ago.

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  24. SO! I've got a couple of things on my mind, but two are taking up a lot of space.

    First, did anyone see the quote from Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin saying, "If you're going to vote on the gay issue, you probably shouldn't vote for me."

    Gee, ya THINK!? What the fuck is WRONG with these people?!

    The second thing on my mind is this: WHY do we continue to give public forum to people like Brian Fischer and Tony Perkins and all of the other modern-day hate mongers? I'm sick of legitimate outlets giving these people perceived credibility by offering them equal standing in our national conversation. They are despicable people spreading hateful messages. They don't deserve our attention; they deserve our scorn. Why do they keep receiving invitations to speak in public?

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    1. You forgot:
      ...and yet, Jim Wright doesn't? What is WRONG with you people?

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    2. People come from miles around to see train wrecks, right? Some folks watch people like that out of morbid curiosity. Others do it to justify what they already believe and LOVE finding someone who agrees with them.

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    3. All this and more is funded and promoted by the 1%. It exists for the same reason that TSA gets bigger and more intrusive each year; to keep the public on edge, pissed off and off balance. If the thinking (high-information) public ever had time to catch a breath untainted by the pervasive "stupid", we might actually determine how to reclaim the country from the 1%.

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......I'm moving to New Zealand.

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  25. Sorry. I'll have to watch the debate on DVR delay after the Giants / Cardinals game is over. Hey, a man has to have priorities.

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  26. Of all the places the Navy sent me (in the US), Orlando Florida was easily my least favorite. Oh, Dizzy world and Universal Studios was cool, but I am a mountain boy from Montana. The heat, the torrential rain at 4:00 everyday, the palmeto bugs (and the dinner plate sized spiders that fed off of them), the neverending flat.. I could go on. Yes, I truly despised that place and hope NEVER to return...

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    1. Moorcat - harrumph. Our rain and heat and flatness are AWESOME, thank you very much. Don't go hatin' on Orlando. (Besides, the spiders the size of dinner plates are harmless. It's the TINY spiders you have to worry about... like the black widows my husband keeps having to clear out of the yard...)

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    2. Moorcat...
      Don't let Mary railroad you...Orlando is just as you said...except I would include a good hunk of the Southeastern US in the same category given some really crappy hot summer weather!
      Mary...
      It may possibly be an awesome place if you are from there but the poor sailor just passing through is not likely to find it attractive....
      Old Navy Comm O

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  27. "Oh dear, Bonzo," said Mrs. Nickerson. "I promised you a banana cream pie and I forgot to buy some Crisco for the crust."

    The spider monkey looked at her with the dawning undertanding that dessert would not be forthcoming.

    "It's OK, dearie," she said. "I'll crochet you an afghan instead. Where are my crochet hooks?"

    (Monkey slaps forehead.)

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  28. The story of the monkey, the hooker, and the can of crisco is Romney's fallback option if the President goads him into splitting hairs on foreign policy again. What? I'm just sayin'.

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  29. Greeting from Navarre! Right up the road from you! Ah...the Redneck Riviera. Ain't it grand? (actually I LOVE the beaches here and that's why I live here) Enjoy the beautiful Autumn weather and I hope you can get to the beach! Peg Legs for Oysters? :) Try to ignore the plethora of Romney Signs sitting next to empty chairs in people's yards....how pathetic. After living here now for almost 20 years I am ALMOST blind to the insanity that IS the political Red Tide. Enjoy your stay Jim...fast & furious that it is. And most importantly, a less stressful flight home. Cheers! Alice

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    1. And greetings from Pensacola Beach! Some of the most beautiful beaches in the whole wide world. Mostly made up of quartz from GA mountains that washes into the Gulf.
      We've endured lots. Including but not limited to: many hurricanes, invasions of "snow birds" (who we love, by the way), many military installations (Eglin, Corey, NAS, etc)for which we are grateful and some things we aren't so happy about such as the migration of gangs from NOLA after Katrina who stayed rather than returning to their origins.
      But, in spite of the definitely red hue of the area there are some of us who are definitely blue. We aren't all uninformed, uneducated scruff of the earth. Stop and talk to some of us and you might be pleasantly surprised.
      At any rate, hope you have a great time in Florida and especially in the panhandle in spite of your obvious lean towards humiliating us. It's been done by those much better at it than you are. And guess what? We're still here.
      Hope you don't get chomped by a croc. Haven't actually seen one in years so there shouldn't be too much danger. Especially if you stay on I20.
      Y'all come back to see us, ya hear?

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    2. PS Peg Legs is the place to go for oysters and lots of other goodies.
      Enjoy

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  30. "Frothy" patriots are your debate-watching partners tonight???!!!!
    What, are pal'in around with Santorum now?

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  31. Recognizing that "The Panhandle of Florida" covers a LOT of ground ... I will throw out a plug for Chef John's fabulous bistro and wine bar in *gorgeous* Destin, FL, Vin'tij, in the hopes you can work in a visit:

    http://www.vintij.com/

    Do not be fooled by its unassuming exterior: this is some exceptionally good food. It's FOODIE food, Jim. Enough so to make the Food Network proud.

    Also: it's debate night, so it naturally follows that you'll want a drink.

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  32. Given the horrors you're suffering, Jim, it seems appropriate to share this four-minute video of a 30-minute rescue -- in Kenya, no less -- of a baby elephant that fell into a shallow well. Kudos to three brave and determined folks who saved the day -- and if you don't tear up even a bit at the end, well, you're probably a Romneybot and there's no hope for humanity left in you:

    http://youtu.be/jYlKX6nbuSA

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  33. Eglin or Tyndall?

    Local political tendencies notwithstanding, it's still a damn fine piece of geography to find oneself in. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, I can recommend Two Al's On The Beach in Carrabelle for breakfast, or perhaps for a grouper sandwich or shrimp po'boy for lunch. Wishin' I was fishin'...
    Craig in Utah

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  34. I'm missing another debate (and whatever else may be on TV) working another 3p-11p shift. Sigh.... If/when you get bored, find a local swamp dweller and feed his pet alligator some methamphetamine and call me. Ask for "Dr. Smith" and say you are calling from a secret government location. It will be fun!

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  35. I'm away from home today too. Camped out tonight at a friends who conveniently has a large flat screen - so there will be plenty of target area for my popcorn throwing at Myth's mug.

    What's the key double drink word for tonight? The debate will focus on foreign policy so maybe: Cheney?

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    1. How about USSR?

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    2. LOL! My second word thought was communism.

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  36. If you're near Destin go to the Red Bar. Great food and "interesting" decor.

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  37. Strangely enough, I find myself needing a hungry toothless alligator in very small pants; no time to explain.

    just work something out between the girls and the gators, would you?

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  38. So, one day, a person decided to crochet a monkey cozy for a can of Crisco...

    What? It's a monkey, a hooker, and a can of Crisco... ;)

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    Replies
    1. C: Good job with those jigsaw puzzle pieces Jim handed over!

      Old Navy Comm O

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  39. Welcome to the Redneck Riviera, Jim, where the politics are so right they're wrong. I predict Nazis also will show up sooner rather than later, with or without Crisco, but maybe the sunshine here will help mellow the harsh.

    The Republ-icks will probably carry the panhandle. Again. We Democrats are working to get a higher percentage of votes than last time around, to not lose by as big a margin. Time will tell. Early voting in Florida opens Saturday.

    About those laser powered death badgers of death. Could you send them to my attic? Feckin' raccoons moved in last week and the live trap hasn't worked yet. Badger chow, eh?

    thatcrowwoman

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    1. Howdy crowwoman! Long time no "see"!

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    2. thatcrowwoman, we used mothballs, a halogen light and some obnoxious music to chase our raccoons last spring...after paying the pest guy to set several traps that she refused to spring. I don't think I want to mess with badgers...

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  40. Hope you can sing all the words to Dixie, Jim. Might come in handy if you find yourself in a tight spot. (Waving at my Fla. Cracker relatives.)

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  41. I maintain that it was the hooker's fault. She blames the monkey, which is like blaming the hitchhiker in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, only with fewer bats. At least I think there were fewer. That part is a little blurry.

    At any rate, the hooker is the one who made us stop and get a vat of Crisco. Do you know how difficult that is to get out of hair? Oh, right. Of course you do. It's even worse on carpeting, but I'm pretty sure the motel just ripped all that out, what with the blood and monkey poo compounding the issue.

    Then again, we may have set that place on fire before we left. I vaguely remember the smell of smoke and someone screaming at us in Ukranian. That's what the monkey indicated it was, anyway. What do I know from Eastern European languages? Which might explain the week we spent in jail before the consulate finally made some hush-hush deal to have us released. They were incredibly put out, but I'm sure that guy they exchanged us for won't do half the things he did before our government shoved him into an oubliette. Totally worth it to set us good citizens of the U.S. of A free.

    Shame about the monkey, though. He's probably still sitting in that jail cell, singing his monkey songs. He should have had his papers in order before we slipped over the border, or at least been willing to do what the hooker did to seal the deal. Of course, I've never seen anyone do that before - and I hope never to see it again, but at least there was some instant karma for her starting the whole thing. Even if she does still blame the monkey.

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    1. Don't stop now!

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    2. I'm sorry...I was looking for a copy of "My Pet Goat". I think I'm in the wrong aisle.

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  42. American Airlines is terrible. Their employees are rude and surly although I didn't see a particular problem with their equipment.

    I pretty much always fly Southwest now. Decent prices are possible and their staff are actually helpful, courteous and polite.

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  43. Enjoy the Bar-B-Q. Smitty's in Panama City...

    Danny

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  44. One of the indelible memories in my head from my marathon drive through Florida (got up in the morning in Panama City, Panama and went to bed in Panama City Florida) is the radio ad for "Al's World of gun, Guns! GUNS!!! Rifles, pistols, shotguns, rent to OWN! Stop by when you're in Panama City!". It lent a surreal catalyst to the fatigue laden end of the drive from Miami.

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    1. Damn, it's "Rifles, pistols, shotguns, FULL AUTO! Rent to OWN!"

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  45. Florida.
    Bolled peanuts, she said.
    "Boiled?"
    Bolled. You can try some.
    "Why not?" Store was clean, cleaner than most we'd stopped at during the past week. Despite the small wad of chew she was working on, the young clerk was kind of pretty with her ponytail.
    Bolled peanuts it was... a cup of.
    Florida.

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    1. Frank - Almost Redneck Haiku there. Very nice. (Except for blowing out the syllable count.) Evocative of peaceful, misty mornings at the truck stop. Tommy D

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  46. quick question....when I click on the link to see the comments, it always goes to the bottom of the page where links to The Immoral Minority are listed. They're fun, but I'd rather start at the top. Using Chrome. Anybody else having this issue, or am I fornicated ascending?

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    1. Thank you, I've been meaning to point that out.
      Another thing, Jim. I want to refer to, send on, some writings you have done in the past and have a heck of a time finding them. Is there another way to direct us to them, because, hell, most of what you write could fall into many of your categories: things that piss me off, things that keep pissing me off; things that make me want to poke my eyes out, Nazis! goddamn it! Nazis!

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  47. Using Firefox 16.0.1 here. Like you, I'm bugged a bit that clicking on the comments link takes me not to existing comments, starting at the top, but rather to the new comment input box at the bottom. Figured it was the blogging software Jim uses.
    Craig in Utah

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    1. I think the software assumes that if you click on comments, it is because you want to comment, so it takes you directly to bottom of the page. I use both Firefox and Chrome, and both of them do it.

      Boiled peanuts, BTW, are right up there in the top ten most disgusting food I have ever put in my mouth, and I like peanuts.

      Jeanne in WV

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    2. Same thing happens with Internet Explorer.

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    3. Same thing with Safari. I figured it was just me because most of the time it is. :/

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  48. Little east of you Jim, in the 'Gateway of The South' (Jacksonville, God knows why they think the South starts here, but i digress). The wife and I were discussing only the other day the extreme paucity of bumper stickers, or even election lawn ornaments that usually are abloom all over NE Florida this season. Perhaps they just don't want to be bothered with scraping Romney/Ryan off in a month or so . . . . In any event, I think that is more of an accurate predictor than any poll you'll find out there!! MSD
    PS. Regardless where you are down here, the weather has been absolutely to die for!! Enjoy your stay . . . .
    PSS. If you're real observant, you'll notice one of the seasonal sports down here is surreptitiously, hell, even blatantly, running over the oppositions signs. Gotta do something with all those pickups and SUVs

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  49. Here is something quite interesting (but not necessarily surprising):

    In the transcipts posted after last night's debate, there is a very distinct gap in the transcript from Fox News vs. the other news outlets (I will use the CBS transcript):

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/10/22/transcript-presidential-debate-on-foreign-policy-at-lynn-university/

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57537805/transcript-of-final-2012-presidential-debate/?pageNum=2&tag=page

    What is missing, you ask? How about this, for starters:

    "OBAMA: But Governor, when it comes to our foreign policy, you seem to want to import the foreign policies of the 1980s, just like the social policies of the 1950s and the economic policies of the 1920s.
    You say that you're not interested in duplicating what happened in Iraq. But just a few weeks ago, you said you think we should have more troops in Iraq right now. And the -- the challenge we have -- I know you haven't been in a position to actually execute foreign policy -- but every time you've offered an opinion, you've been wrong. You said we should have gone into Iraq, despite that fact that there were no weapons of mass destruction.
    You said that we should still have troops in Iraq to this day. You indicated that we shouldn't be passing nuclear treaties with Russia despite the fact that 71 senators, Democrats and Republicans, voted for it. You said that, first, we should not have a timeline in Afghanistan. Then you said we should. Now you say maybe or it depends, which means not only were you wrong, but you were also confusing in sending mixed messages both to our troops and our allies.
    OBAMA: So, what -- what we need to do with respect to the Middle East is strong, steady leadership, not wrong and reckless leadership that is all over the map. And unfortunately, that's the kind of opinions that you've offered throughout this campaign, and it is not a recipe for American strength, or keeping America safe over the long haul."


    Again, I am not surprised that Fox News as done this, just that it goes unchallenged and unreported.

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    1. Darn it. I left off the Obama "zinger" that Fox News omitted:

      OBAMA: Governor Romney, I'm glad that you recognize that Al Qaida is a threat, because a few months ago when you were asked what's the biggest geopolitical threat facing America, you said Russia, not Al Qaida; you said Russia, in the 1980s, they're now calling to ask for their foreign policy back because, you know, the Cold War's been over for 20 years.

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  50. One more, then I'll stop. Fox News attributes the following quote to Romney in their transcript, when the CBS transcript indicates that it is Obama:

    "Now, it is absolutely true that we cannot just meet these challenges militarily. And so what I've done throughout my presidency and will continue to do is, number one, make sure that these countries are supporting our counterterrorism efforts.

    Number two, make sure that they are standing by our interests in Israel's security, because it is a true friend and our greatest ally in the region.

    Number three, we do have to make sure that we're protecting religious minorities and women because these countries can't develop unless all the population, not just half of it, is developing.

    Number four, we do have to develop their economic -- their economic capabilities.

    But number five, the other thing that we have to do is recognize that we can't continue to do nation building in these regions. Part of American leadership is making sure that we're doing nation building here at home. That will help us maintain the kind of American leadership that we need."


    Funny how "slicing and dicing" can change everything, huh?

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    1. "what I've done throughout my presidency"
      So wait a minute - Romney has actually been the president all along? Why hasn't the biased, lamestream media reported this before? (Oh, sorry, forgot the exclamation points)!!!!

      Oh, no. I see. There were five points to this quote, so naturally they thought it was Romney speaking. ;)

      Bruce

      Delete
  51. Hey, Jim; I LUV Pensacola in the fall, hope you're having a good time.

    By the way: could you please tell the blogger who does the Immoral Majority that when the links at the bottom of your page are clicked that they don't connect. (I'm using IE 7 and it totally freezes up my computer so badly that I have to reboot! I'd love to read the blog but can't even link into it via a search engine or by inputting the address into my address line.)

    Thanks from WA State. (aka "Alabama North")

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    Replies
    1. Apparently the guy who creates Immoral Majority doesn't like Internet Explorer. He has a note on the side of the page stating that IE will probably have problems. Brilliant! Let's design a web page to NOT use the most common web browser. :facepalm:

      Delete
    2. Well, that certainly explains THAT. Would another browser such as Chrome work, do you think?

      Thanks from "Alabama North"

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    3. The same note says it works well on just about everything OTHER than IE.

      Delete
    4. Thanks. Unfortunately, my view of the site is so constricted that I can barely read a few lines , nor does my cursor have any effect on the page.

      :-(

      (I apologize to the person below for accidently replying to their post. The monkey got into the Crisco again, and my fingers slipped on the keys)

      Delete
  52. How, exactly, does one power a badger with a la...

    No. There are some things in this world it is better not to know.

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  53. So Jim I'm thinking that "laser powered death badgers of death" is a little redundent. If you were to replace badgers with weasels it still would be redundent but a whole lot funnier because we all know that weasels are a laugh a minute and leave a cleaner crime scene than badgers.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Unfortunately, my view of the site is so constricted that I can barely read a few lines , nor does my cursor have any effect on the page.

      :-(

      Delete
  54. And a happy National Bologna Day to all! .....seemed appropriate, somehow...

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  55. You know, I was under the impression they had parties around here when the guy in the hat was out of town. You know, with beer and brownies.

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  56. Do they really have death badgers in the Panhandle? I'm from Tampa, and I remember gators, gar fish, overly aggressive cottonmouths, rednecks and drug dealers, and the occasional shifty eyed skunk or armadillo, but badgers?

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  57. Born and raised in Mobile, AL just a quick trip from Florida. I have fond memories of summers spent on the beaches and nights spent in the bars.

    But I left that world behind. To me they are the real takes. They make no effort to improve their lives or their children's lives- settling for the six pack on Friday and payments on the double wide - as anything beyond their narrow world is suspect.

    ReplyDelete