Monday, August 27, 2012

Whole Lot Of Crazy



Lady, you're about a half a bubble off plumb, and that's for sure and for certain.
                                                                      Matthew Quigley to Crazy Cora
                                                                      Quigley Down Under


Is it just me?

Or do there seem to be a whole lot more crazy people than there used to be?

Now when I say “crazy” I don’t mean weird funny sexy crazy like Laura San Giacomo’s Crazy Cora from Quigley Down Under, a madly scrambled soul who, despite displaying moments of sober lucidity, spent much of her existence living in a make-believe world of could-have-been that was, for her, happier and better. Crazy Cora’s fantasy world was one where a life, instead of being violently lost, survived and prospered – in both senses of the word life. Cora was nuts, sure, and the events that drove her over the edge where terrible and tragic, but her manic insanity was bent to the selfless preservation of the helpless.

Crazy or not, Cora wanted to make the world a better and safer place and often did.

No, when I say “crazy” people, I’m talking the kind of thin lipped murderous crazy displayed by Alan Rickman’s Elliott Marston. If you’ve never seen Quigley Down Under (and really, you haven’t seen this movie? Seriously? This is one of the best non-western Westerns ever made. Stop what you’re doing and go watch it right now), Marston is the dangerous kind of crazy. Marston is oily smooth and greasy evil as only Alan Rickman could make him, oozing paranoia and casual malignance. Like Cora, Marston lives in a fantasy, only his world is a nightmare of an old American West transplanted to the Australian Outback, a place of Dodge City and Boot Hill and pistol duels and genocide. Marston laments that he was born too late and on the wrong continent. He wishes for the kind of place where he can just eradicate the undesirables, the weak and the helpless and the outcast. He regards the Aboriginals like vermin, like rats, to be exterminated without a second thought.

Elliot Marston wasn’t interested in making the world a better place. The only thing Marston wanted was more of what he already had.

Quigley, at least in some respect, was about the various facets of insanity and how we see our world. For that reason I often quote the Matthew Quigley line above to myself whenever I run into craziness.

Lady, you are about half a bubble off plumb, that’s for sure and for certain.

Maybe it’s because this is an election year.

Or maybe it’s because the GOP is meeting in Florida in the middle of a hurricane.

Maybe it’s just the heat.

I don’t know, but when Todd Akin is the head of any Committee with the word “science” in it (and that word isn’t proceeded by the word “creation”) and Mitt Romney's advisors are pushing Congress to preemptively declare war on Iran while Newt Gingrich is running classes at the RNC to teach conservatives how to tell the truth, well, it just seems like there are a whole lot more crazy people than there used to be.

Walleyed crazy.

Bug eating bang bang crazy.

Elliot Marston crazy.

For example, this morning I was reading an article about circumcision.

Maybe you’ve seen the hoopla about this? In light of the recent stiff resistance to the banning of male circumcision in Germany and elsewhere in Europe, The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) made a statement supporting the procedure, reiterating their position that infant male circumcision significantly lowers the risk of HIV, genital herpes, HPV, and other sexually transmitted diseases. According to the AAP, circumcision also reduces the risk of various infections and other health problems.  A little less than sixty percent of American males are circumcised at birth nowadays. The AAP would like to see that number raised a lot higher.

They say it’s for health reasons. They say medicine and science back them up on this.

But, of course, that’s not the real reason, is it?

No, circumcision is really a secret Jewish plot to rule the world, one foreskin at a time.

This conversation, from a couple of commenters under the Yahoo article:

- i guess these doctors are getting ready for wwIII, and they need to make
every one seem like a jew, i for one, dont believe in this, and i will not
circumcise my kids, i think the skin is designed to protect, just wash it
every time you take a shower.
                - Funny enough, most of the doctors in the Task Force that wrote
                   this policy are Jews, and I am almost sure that the current 
                   president of the AAP is also Jew - not 100% sure of that though…
                            - The CEO of Yahoo is Jewish. There have been 7 pro-cutting
                               articles in 4 days. And since the recent layoff, Yahoo
                               has little news to report as it is...

Oh Noes! The Jewish doctors are getting ready for a Jewish World War III and therefore they want to Jewinate newborn baby boys so they’ll be more Jewey.

Got that?

How, exactly, the shorn manliness of America’s newborns will help the nefarious Jews achieve world domination escapes me, but rest assured my electronic friends this threat to our national sovereignty must be rubbed out before it grows.

Oh what?  We’re talking about circumcision here, if you didn’t see the dick jokes coming (oops, sorry), you haven’t been paying attention.

I went looking at a few of the usual websites, apparently Jews taking over America through foreskin confiscation isn’t an isolated idea.   On a totally unrelated note, I’m still trying to figure out why the same people who are so afraid of secret Jewish Evil Plots of Evil are so adamant in their demands that America must sacrifice all to defend Israel. Are you afraid of Jewish people taking over the world and stealing our foreskins or aren’t you?  Make up your damned minds, I’m getting tired of trying to figure out the plot.


Oh, we’re just getting started.

Speaking of dicks, over on Fox News today’s guest columnist is none other than Michael Reagan, son of former President Ronald Reagan.  Michael is a political consultant and the founder and chairman of The Reagan Group. And let’s just say that the nuts didn’t fall far from the tree.

Michael Reagan is afraid of liberals hiding in his email.

Yes, that’s correct. Liberals. In the email.

Now we’re not talking about liberals using email to send Michael dick jokes. No, we’re talking about actual Liberals.

Hiding in the email.

Stealing from conservatives.

One of the benefits of the Internet revolution has been access to free e-mail.  However, as we now know, the supposed "free" e-mail has come at a cost. As a believer in the free market, it is impossible to begrudge online companies their success, however, conservatives are sacrificing privacy and supporting liberal causes. If you use a Gmail or Yahoo e-mail address and are pro-life, support gun rights and oppose ObamaCare, you are funding activities aimed at trashing your own beliefs.


Reagan’s premise is this:  Google, Yahoo!, AOL, Microsoft, and other “liberal” companies trick conservatives into signing up for “free” email, and then they “make a fortune by selling all sorts of sensitive customer data to all kinds of companies that want to sell every imaginable good or service.”

Oh no! It’s capitalism run amok! Not every kind of imaginable good or service! Anything but that!

Predatory capitalism is only American when conservatives do it. That’s a freebee, Kids, write it down.

And then, see, those companies donate their ill-gotten dirty money to Obama.

According to Reagan, Yahoo co-founder Jerry Yang recently contributed $30,400 to the Democratic Senatorial Committee. Adding illusionary insult to imagined injury, Yahoo! employees contributed more than $17,000 to Obama’s reelection – but only $2,875 to Mitt Romney. Google employees contributed $263,000 to Obama and just $5,000 for Mitt Romney. Microsoft employees sent $362,742 to the Obama reelection campaign compared to a paltry $82,000 for Romney. 

Reagan writes that in 2012, the fifteen top members of Congress received contributions from Google, thirteen of those congressmen were Democrats.  Reagan doesn’t identify who he considers the “top” fifteen members, but he is particularly outraged by the fact that Google was the “eighth” biggest contributor to Nancy Pelosi’s war chest (Reagan doesn’t bother to mention how much Google contributed or who made the seven larger donations. Probably because those people don’t give out free email to conservatives).

Reagan also points out that this has been going on for some time, back in 2008 Google, its employees, and their families gave Obama nearly a million dollars.  And once he was elected, a bunch of Google executives went so far as to pony up $25K a piece of their own money, which they made at least in part by apparently tricking conservatives, for Obama’s Inaugural Committee. This is apparently totally different from those Wall Street banks who took our money without so much as a reach around and are now busy giving it to the Romney campaign, totally different. But I digress.

First they came for our foreskins, now it’s communism via email! Oh those Nazi bastards!

It’s an outrage!

Yes, an outrage!

Outrageous that good God fearin’ conservatives should be tricked into signing up for the liberal socialism of free email! That’s the first thing Hitler did, you know, hand out free email accounts. True capitalists, i.e. patriots, should pay for their email accounts.

It’s outrageous that a company not only embraces liberal ideas that obviously can’t possibly work but do anyway in total defiance of God’s Will, but then they go and make billions doing it while at the same time employing millions of Americans right here at home. And they have the unmitigated bald faced effrontery to be some of the most profitable and successful companies in America.  It’s blasphemy! How dare they flaunt Jesus like that? How dare they?

It’s outrageous that companies should support people and candidates Michael Reagan doesn’t approve of.  Conservatives granted corporations personhood and this is how they’re repaid? Holy Moly! Why what if this catches on? What if all those nearly aborted babies conservatives save grow up to be democrats? The ungrateful little bastards!

Can you believe that Google and Microsoft and AOL and Yahoo! would go and spend their money on candidates that they like?

And if that wasn’t enough, their employees and their families do too.

These people act like they can just support whoever they want! Just like conservatives.

God damn it! Have these liberals no shame? No shame at all?

Son of Reagan (And really, why didn’t Ronny rename the kid Jesus when he adopted little Mikey?), mentions, sotto voice, that these companies also, maybe, have affiliated political action committees which, uh, well, sort of also contributed to Republicans too – but those contributions are far smaller than the ones to Democrats. Mike doesn’t think that’s fair.

“Conservative friends and associates are often surprised when I ask, ‘Why are you supporting liberal candidates and causes with your free e-mail?’ They react with disbelief, but that is precisely what is happening.”

Yeah, I bet they’re surprised. 

Surprised Michael Reagan is allowed to wander around without a nurse. 

Reagan then casually mentioned how you can get an email address from Reagan.com without the taint of stinky liberalism on it, quite a bargain at $40US per year.

Show of hands, how many of you are going to sign up for an @Reagan account?

I was thinking about doing it, just because I so enjoy the idea of the kind of people who send me hate mail having to address it to TrickleDownThis@Reagan.com. Frankly I think that’s worth the $40. 

Michael Reagan will likely make a couple billion off of Texas all by its lonesome self.

Because there’s some major crazy going on down Texas way.

"[Obama is] going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N., and what is going to happen when that happens? I'm thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we're not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we're talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy. Now what's going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He's going to send in U.N. troops. I don't want 'em in Lubbock County. OK. So I'm going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say 'you're not coming in here'. And the sheriff, I've already asked him, I said 'you gonna back me' he said, 'yeah, I'll back you'. Well, I don't want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me."

That was Judge Tom Head, county judge in Lubbock, Texas – land of pointy toed boots, hats, heat, and all the sun drenched crazy paranoid Elliot Marston you can shovel.

Judge Head, in his quest to help Texas remain the laughingstock of Crazyland, offered up that opinion last week on a local news show.

I get the impression that the judge is actually visualizing himself as some kind of Boris Yeltsin, standing in front of imaginary socialist tanks.

But come on, UN troops?

UN troops?

Seriously.  Have you ever met any UN Troops? Who’s going to invade Texas, the Dutch? Ecuadorians? All twenty members of Fiji’s Peace Keeping force? The Belgians? Who? You know who leads UN invasions? Us. Usually with the dickweeds from Texas in the vanguard a whoopin’ and a hollerin’ and waving their giant hats.

Jesus Hopalong Christ, what in the hell are these people smoking?

Why is it that those folks who think of themselves as the biggest bestest Americans are always the first ones to talk about revolution and revolt when they think they’re going to lose an election?  And you’ve really got to admire the raw naked crazy inherent in Judge Head, he’s the guy who thinks that raising taxes to help fellow Americans is communism, but raising taxes to hire his own private army to kill Americans and overthrow the government is somehow patriotic

Needless to say, Judge Head claims his words are being taken out of context.  He says he’s not calling for revolution in the event of an Obama reelection per se, just that he needs to be prepared to support fellow Texans if they rise up in revolt and Obama sends in the Belgians. Or something.   

If it had been anywhere other than Lubbock, Texas, Judge Head would have been sedated with a hypo-dart fired from a safe distance, netted like a blood maddened hammerhead during Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, hauled off to a remote spot in the middle of the Pacific Garbage Patch and unceremoniously dumped in deep water where he can’t do himself or anybody else any further harm. 

Seriously, Judge, you’re about half a bubble off plumb, that’s for sure and for certain.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

But it sure seems like there are a whole lot more crazy people than there used to be.

And not the good kind of crazy either.


  1. You mock us now, but you'll be singing a different tune when your pitiful imperialist USA is ground under our wooden clogs as our glorious troops retake New Amsterdam!

    1. ... You can keep Texas, though. We don't want it.

    2. A New Amsterdam is EXACTLY what Texas needs!

  2. You forgot the persecution delusional, PPD, all-Negroes-are-magic, window-lickers who believe the weather is an Obama conspiracy.

    1. I did like the post somewhere on twitter who quotes the Limbaugh story and then adds. "I don't know about you, but I'm voting for the guy who can control the fucking weather"

    2. I thought these folks believed that only God could control the weather? Does that mean that Obama is... gasp... GOD?

      Agh, the crazy, it burns, it burns!

  3. @Rens - can we pay you? How much would it take? Cause we don't want Texas either!

  4. I gotta do some research. There has to be a cause for this...
    Fluoride in the water?
    Psychoactive drugs in Bud/Coors etc?
    Some strange psychoactive fungus that grows in places like Texas?
    Psycho-mind-rays beamed down from Illuminati-funded satellites?
    Anyway - it's going to be one hell of a battle, between the Jews circumsising everybody so they can take over and Obama chartering loads of planes to import millions of Muslims to marry Christian woman and force their children to become Muslims so that he can impose Sharia law...

    1. Funny you should mention fluoride, http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2011-10-05/pinellas-county-florida-votes-no-fluoride-in-drinking-water/50673318/1 At least all those in Tampa won't be drinking no stinkin' commie water.

    2. No, no, no, no, you have that backwards. It's muslim women who marry jewish men and have their babies. Right? That's what the situation is with Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner. That's how we get the Muslim Brotherhood taking over this country.

  5. Definite more crazies these days, but also more visible. There have always been crazies. I ran with the tinfoil hat crew in college (I'm an author, it was research, I swear on a stack). Conspiracy theories were their manna, and they kept assault rifles in the closet. But their way of communicating resembled stone tablets and mimeographs. (I'm also from the South, where we don't hide our crazies; we invite them to tea.) Now they have the Internet and Fox News. Local becomes global and they proliferate like little hump bunnies.

    BTW I love Quiqley. And Cora. Marston made me yell at the screen.

  6. I think that Mega Crazy MIKE Reagan was adopted by Saint Ronnie and his first wife, no relation to the Nancy or other Reagans. Jane Wyman I think was the adoptive mom. Not that it excuses any of the crazy shit. And yes, UN please take Texas.

  7. Now now, folks, let's not go and condemn all of Texas.

    Stonekettle Station has a significant Texas readership. By my calculations, there are at least nine, possibly ten, not-crazy Texans. This is probably a higher not-crazy to crazy ratio, I'd point out, than my own state of Alaska. I'm just saying is all.

    1. Thank you, Jim! Some of us have to be here for work, and others can't help that they were born here -but there are plenty of us who are sane. That said, I did see a "SECEDE" bumper sticker on the way to work..

    2. I have two normal friends who were sentenced to work there.

      Also, there's Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Hayes Carll, Kinky Friedman, Jerry Jeff Walker, The Austin Lounge Lizards and, aside from the politicians, most of Austin to consider. We shouldn't let the Netherlands or Belgium just take these fine folks.

      Also, I'm not sure that the Dutch or Belgians will be thrilled when they see the likes of Louie Gohmert or Joe Barton or Rick "Governor Goodhair" (in the words of the late and greatly missed Molly Ivins) Perry. Once the Europeans get Texas, don't be surprised if they declare war on US in retaliation.

    3. South Jersey, we'll put a wall around Austin, throw all the politicians over the side, and then kick the rest of Texas out of the Union. Austin will be like West Berlin back during the bad old cold war days, an island of sanity in the midst of an ideological meltdown.

      Which reminds me that it's time to schedule something by the Lizards on my music blog, hrm...

    4. Gee Tux, thanks...I'd love to be in the redneck version of East Germany! If you want the good news, there's still a good 35-40%+ of Texans who can think. Bell got 30% in 2006 and White pushed that up to 42% in 2010. Most of that is genuine, thinking, moderates...and the numbers seem to still be increasing, and not just because of a rising Hispanic population.

      The whole Bible Belt of the US appears to be batshit crazy outside of the larger population centers, but their numbers are falling steadily and even they are losing a good number of their children to reality. As the Republican strategists mentioned, this is the last election that they can try to win by pitching to white voters (read as pandering to the religious right), so things will start to get better.

    5. Another Texan here. I won't claim to be sane but not in the same was as the conservatives / Republicans / Christianistas.

      In 2008 we put up an Obama sign in the yard. At Halloween a lady came by with two kids. She told us she cried tears of joy to see our sign and called her husband to tell him about it.

      Also, Houston is getting pretty Democratic. They have a lesbian Mayor, after all. I'm just north in conservative country though.

    6. So let's see:

      25 million Texans (ten sane) gives a ratio of 2.5 million crazies per sane person.

      722 thousand Alaskans at one sane person per 2.5 million population: No sane people. At best, someone might be lucid up to about seven hours a day.

      Jim, I've got some bad news....

    7. BadTux: In reference to both paragraphs, all I can say is "Excellent idea!".

    8. Also in Texas. I tell people "I'm required by law to have at least two Conservative friends.)

      Other famous Texas libs: Molly Ivins, Bill Moyers, Jim Hightower, Dan Rather and Barbara Jordan. (yes, I'm aware two of them have long passed.)

  8. It has been proven with reliable science that the person most likely to believe the Diana Princess of Wales is alive and well and living on a secret & remote island will be a person who ALSO believes that she was murdered by her ex husband's family. Scout's honor. I shit you not.

    In for a penny's worth of conspiracy lunacy, in for ALL of it: hook, line, sinker, rod, reel, boat, boat trailer, lake....

  9. No offense, but finding crazy comments on Yahoo is about as hard as, uh....finding crazy comments on Yahoo.

    Great posts though.

    1. no offense but dont you mean as easy as finding crazy comments on yahoo?

  10. And here I thought I was all alone in loving that B-grade spaghetti (what would the Aussie equivalent be? - Veggamite?) Western. Tom Sellack is only out-manned by Sam Elliot (The Sackett's!)- but Tom's portrayal of Our Hero in that movie was spot on! My husband particularly likes the sharp-shooting long-rifle part.

    I had a professor that used to call me a "half bubble off plumb". I always took it as a compliment.

    And I finally if I'm off plumb, how many of these other people are a whole bubble and a half who just absorb the crazy spew and don't stop and go - Wait that's crazy!?! It never ceases to amaze me!

  11. "...half bubble off plumb..."
    That is Why I eagerly look forward to your posts.
    That is Why I proudly sign myself as "fromthediagonal".

    Thanks again, Mr. Wright. Keep Going.

  12. Michael Reagan was the adopted son of Ronald and Jane Wyman.

    1. I know, but his bio under the Fox News article linked to in the post describes him simply as "the son of President Ronald Reagan." It's subtle piece of misdirection on Reagan's part, and about as accurate as the rest of his piece. I figured regular readers would catch the hint, as you obviously did.

    2. That would be Ron - he's a liberal atheist, so they don't mention him much....

    3. @greywinters, I believe that was Patti Davis.
      Nice knockers, too.

    4. I always remember what Reagan Sr. said when Jr. was "outed" as a ballet dancer: "He's all man. We made sure of that."

      And how did they do that ?

      C-I-R-C-U-M-C-I-S-I-O-N !

      (Shhh ! Only about 40 guys in the corps de ballet know !)

    5. Curious as to what you mean by the misdirection in Michael Reagan's bio. Adopted kids are "real" kids too. Just saying.

  13. Looks like Emily already made the point about Michael Reagan's lineage that I was going to make. His own (adopted) father didn't even know him particularly well in his lifetime. Just sayin'.

  14. I know this wasn't your point, however I have three boys, and I didn't get any of them circumcised, even though I was. I did a lot of research on the research, and it doesn't appear to be that much of a health benefit to circumcise. Even though it gives a small advantage to not catching some diseases, is it really worth cutting off a portion of your child's body? By the same reasoning, we should cut out the appendix at birth to avoid it's rupturing later in life. The only reason we circumcise or why doctors try to find reasons to support circumcision is religious tradition that has become social tradition. This was actually a hard decision to make, which seems odd in retrospect. Thankfully this trend seems to be reversing. You can also get it cut off as an adult if you are so inclined.

    I find it greatly amusing that I'm aligned with the wackos on this, just for different reasons.

    1. I agree with your basic philosophy, but there is kind of a difference -- when it comes to epidemiology, those small percentages can add up.

      For me, I'm conflicted. I think it should be the child's choice, but this makes me feel a little like the anti-vaccine/"condoms don't work" type of people.

    2. The differences in the case of vaccinations and condoms are so extreme compared to not using them, the evidence completely overwhelming. Where as in the case of circumcision, it's very slight and the research is not overwhelming. Also, you can't change your mind, it's a one way trip, I'd much rather leave that up to them when they are older. Not to mention the small but possible chance for the procedure to go very wrong.

      I mean we don't even consider having this conversation for female circumcision, we consider it abominable. Admittedly it's not apples to apples in terms of the loss of pleasure, but I find it interesting that we can rationalize the male one being ok, while knowing without a doubt that it's wrong to do a somewhat similar procedure to girls.

    3. Raygor - I was very conflicted with my son so I left the decision up to my husband, who is a medical professional. He opted to not circumcise - even though he himself is. Part of that equation in the decision making was also the cost of the procedure. We did natural childbirth out of hospital. It would have been very costly for us to take the baby and have the procedure done.

    4. female circumcision is a vastly different procedure. Whereas post male circumcision, the organ is fully functional. Female circumcision is also called mutilation.

    5. Raygor - I don't think Jim was taking a stance one way or the other on circumcision, per se, or mocking those of us who are currently disgusted with the AAP's revised stance. He was just mocking the crazy people who think the AAP's revised stance is part of some global Jewish conspiracy. I think we can all agree that those people are NUTS!

    6. As a midwife and a mom (although I didn't have boys)*most* of the health benefits of circumcision are found *after* they begin sexual activities. As an adult they can make an informed decision AND they can have adequate pain medication, something that an infant can't do. There is quite a bit of evidence within the South African population advocating for circumcision, however, please also consider that these populations are often lacking in many areas of health and hygiene overall (including adequate clean water, nutrition and basic healthcare).

  15. The crazy factor has definitely been climbing up there. But that's what you get when you
    a) build a paranoia state for 12 years
    b) have 800+ channels vying for eyes, knowing crazy sells, real news doesn't
    c) have an extremely unstable financial base that has destroyed more than half the country's hopes of a safe retirement
    d) 'rescue' the producers (read bankers) during a fiscal crisis instead of the consumers (now there was a HUGE load of insanity)
    e) never acknowledge the biggest stinking dead elephant in the room as one of the major causes of the high fiscal anxiety in this country, two stinkingly (I'm big into stink today thanks to the presents from my two canine roommates this morning) costly wars.
    The insanity does grow very tiresome some days, that's why it is so nice to come here and realize there are still some people that think before they speak.
    Thanks Jim.
    Got to go look for some chemtrails now . . . . MSD

  16. What a great post to read first thing (internet was down this am). I take solace in the fact that other people find this group to be batshit crazy as well. But I'm still worried they're gonna win and they're gonna influence politics. It's just my nature to worst-case events as I'm a little ptsd. You know, where can I hide if they take over, all those foreskins?

  17. Given the opening shots in your piece, did you mean to write "unmitigated bald faced effrontery" or" unmitigated balled faced effrontery"?

    Just asking.

  18. Freeze-dried whackaloon level continues to rise.

  19. Seinfeld on Circumcision

    Elain: Hey Jerry, you ever seen one?
    Jerry: You mean one that wasn't...? No have you?
    Elaine: Yeah...(rolls eyes)
    Jerry: Whadya think?
    Elaine: (Shakes head frowns) It had no face!..no personality!! It looked like a Martian!
    But...hey..you know that's me...

    When I first started using the intertubes in the late 80's with my Prodigy? account and fancy 900 baud modem, the nerd to crazy ratio was very pleasing (hint: nerds ran the damn thing)
    Unfortunately, the nerds then made it so easy for everyone to log on, that now, the crazy din is deafening...kind of polluted our own nest so to speak.
    P.S. I was really hoping that Judge Heads middle name would turn out to be Richard....

  20. May I give you real Texas crazy from the 50 yard line?
    We are about to vote Ted Cruz into the U.S. Senate.
    Ted says that Barack Obama is about to allow the United Nations to block us from building new golf courses and our goobers are up in arms about it.

  21. Oh!! I really do hope that you already signed-up for TrickleDownThis@Reagan.com before you posted today's blog, because I'm quite certain (without even verifying) that it's not available anymore!
    It would be fun to hear stories in regard to messages coming into such an email account.

  22. It just goes to show the Yahoo folks are open minded. I notice some of the most venal and disgusting comments show up on the Yahoo boards. I think the moderators (if Yahoo eve has moderators) like to watch the crazies sink their own ships.

  23. Texas elects judges, one of seven states to do so. Teh crazy! It tickles!

    As to circumcision, there's a strong medical case to be made against the practice--it is, after all, surgery without anesthesia performed on a sensitive part of the body. It was made common practice for reasons right out of 19th century crazy.

    And, yes, there's lots of crazy. We're four years into a depression, 11 years into another endless war, and the radical right keeps stirring the pot. The beatings will continue until morale improves, I suppose.

    1. True, Texas elects judges. But this judge is not really a 'judge'. Someone long ago decides all Texas counties would have a Commissioners Court made up of 4 Commissioners. Each one would represent 1/4 of the county. Another guy, called the Judge, would run the Court and anything having to do with the county, in general. So this Judge Head guy is really the county executive. Although a county judge does is kind of the coroner, also.

      You think that is bad? We've got the Texas state police (DPS), county Sheriff department, 5 different Constable departments (they each correspond to a Justice of the Peace), school district police !!), and any local city police.

  24. Somehow you did a piece on crazies without including the Crown Prince of the Crazies: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louie_Gohmert - something must be in that Texas water...

  25. Your comment about the percentages of crazies in Texas versus the percentage of crazies in Alaska? We just had a trial of the crazies, Shaeffer Cox, et al, and now the Vernons have pled guilty. That is the mindset of those who love their country-hate the government, propose to use bullets when ballots don't go their way, talk about Second Amendment solutions and put "surveyor's sights" on opponents. Where does this crazy come from? Jeanne Devon over at Mudflats also did a piece today along these lines.

  26. The problem with all these crazies in the public eye and ears is that they're coming across as heroes to the lowest common denominator. So, with all this crazy trickling down to so many red neck simple country church going folk (that's the nice description) who are all hell bent on arming themselves to the hilt, that if Obama does get the win, these folk just might be so pissed off that a black man is still in office, I for one will NOT be surprised if some sort of civil unrest doesn't start to make lots of news here in the south. There's a whole lot of crazy here already!

  27. More crazies made the news today, this time terrorists. Not brown'n'Muslim, though, these are white, all-Murrkin' current and former Army, self-proclaimed "FEAR militia" jerks who were talking about overthrowing the government and assassinating the President. The charges, however, are murder of an Army colleague who found out too much and his girlfriend. These guys had training, guns, bomb-making supplies, and land on which to practice, financed by the life insurance proceeds from the death of the leader's pregnant wife (the police will look into that again). If all this is true, then we have yet another set of home-grown terrorists who the DHS/TSA folks completely ignored. After all, security theater is more important than, say, actual public safety. (I'm one of those oddballs who think the billions of dollars spent making me strip in public airports would be much better spent on general disaster response and lowering the debt.)

  28. I've been wondering the exact same thing and I think I've figured it out. It's not so much that there are more of them, but just that they're jumping higher. You know how when you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, and you see a plane, so you jump up and down and yell for help? Well if the first plane doesn't see you because you're a little tiny speck of nothing in the middle of a huge nowhere, you figure you just have to make more noise, and jump higher. So maybe they crazies haven't gotten the converts they believe should have recognized them as the saviors, so they figure they have to yell louder and jump higher. Hmmm... if we can get them to keep jumping higher, perhaps we can save several million on the next Mars adventure.

  29. Today in my email I got a missive from Teaparty dot org saying that President Obama was... not socialist... not Communist ... not even *black*... but DEMONIC. As in, horns and hooves and tail minion of Satan demonic.

    I kid you not.

    Between that and the guys who accuse Obama of manipulating the weather (hmm, I thought these folks were convinced only God could manipulate the weather? Does that mean Obama is... GOD?!), I am utterly gobsmacked. Great word, that -- encapsulates the mix of incredulity, astonishment, and stupidity that takes one's breath away quite well.

  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

  31. Love love love your writing, as always!

    The crazies have more ways to be heard now. There have been a lot of them percolating and hiding out in the South and some other areas. They make a lot of crazies there because when you are born into a family that indoctrinates/brainwashes their kids to ignore logic in favor of strong religion, this is what you get. And then the lack of ability to think logically leaves them wide open to go wild with every foolish, paranoid conspiracy theory that comes along. Nothing is too bizarre for them to spout. (I lived with this stuff for almost 10 years in east Tennessee - mind-boggling.)

    Trails from jets are government doing birth control, the UN is trying to take over the world - and many more - I heard for years from my ex and his mother and various others there. Maybe IQ tests for voting could help???? Or would it have to be a 'logic' test?

  32. Ideas are dangerous things . Better to ridicule the messenger than have to think . Thinking hurts .

    1. Uh huh. Please be more specific, who exactly are you aiming your observation at?

    2. I am sad for people for whom thinking hurts. I like thinking; it makes life SO much more interesting and amusing.

      As does this site. :)

    3. I prefer to laugh at both the stupid insane ideas *and* the stupid insane messengers spewing the crazy stupid ideas. Double the fun, yo.

    4. Is there actually a way to answer that with out being thrown off for being impolite to some of your guests? After reading your rules.

    5. I don't know, why don't you give it a try?

    6. Jim Wright ,

      Okay I will . Bad Tux, Please post the web address of the Tea Party . Org site that claimed President Obama was " Demonic ". I need to see it and it's context to believe it .

  33. First, let me say that you are worthy of worship as a major deity of wordsmithing. Your posts never fail to elicit a chortle and many times an outright guffaw. The bit that scares me the most, though, is that we all spend far too much time discussing the crazy, inane or generally pointless bits and completely ignore discussing what the candidates actually plan to do to solve any of the not insignificant problems we are facing. For the last decade or so, it has seemed as if every election has quickly devolved into a quagmire of criticisms that never actually do anything to explain how each candidate plans to resolve the issues in play. Even worse is that when I point this out to friends/family, all I get back is blank stares.

    In other words, it's starting to appear as if we truly do have the government we deserve... and this makes me sad. Fortunately, Jim is around with his biting wit and amazing insights to alleviate the worst.

    Thank you good sir!

  34. I am not a supporter of circumcision, but the idea that it is a Jewish plot is, indeed, totally INSANE.

    I also just read the wikipedia entry on Louie Gohmert that someone referenced above, and I agree he's pretty high on the crazy list. But something he was quoted as having said kind of stuck out for me - he kept referring to "Judeo-Christian values." And I can't help but wonder if some people do not actually know what the "Judeo" part of "Judeo-Christian" means ...

    Love reading your stuff. Keep it comin'!

    1. Indeed, Terri. That is truly giggle-worthy!

  35. Please do this as a stand-up routine, ala George Carlin. Truly wonderful.

  36. Totally enjoy your writings. Always pass it on to my facebook friends and family. Some love it, some won't read it.

  37. ...... and then there's those evil Muslim circumcisers.
    Maybe they're plotting with the Jews ??

  38. I was born in an era when circumcisions during hospital births were kind of like those loopy-handled suckers the banks give out during visits to the drive-through. Unless someone stuck out a hand to stop the doc, junior was gettin' snipped. The experience was so profound that I don't. Actually. Remember. It. Hell, I was well into my fascination with girls & birds & bees discussions before I even realized my junk wasn't supposed to be that way. Whatever.

    It does remain a valid choice that parents have to make for their new-borns, but if a medical organization puts out information pointing out that the reduced risk of UTIs & STDs outweigh the slight risk of bungled procedures, that's what they exist for. To give parents the information to make informed decisions; trashing their straight-forward reporting of facts as a Jewish plot is a half-bubble off-plumb. I think that's the point Jim was trying to get across.

    As for the Texas Judge? Dear Jeebus, don't let me be related. Oh my Akin Head, it's been a surreal month...

    Taken individually, the GOP is able to distance themselves from inflammatory statements like the one Judge Head babbled amidst a shower of spittle as frothy as a badly-poured Guinness. Taken collectively? It becomes the Republican strategy. What they need is a strawman. Acknowledging Obama as an intelligent, patriotic individual who perceives & wishes to tackle pretty much the same problems they do, but has ideas on how to go about that process that they don't agree with? Yeah. That ain't gonna work. The Republicans know they're not going to coax enough rabid born-again, camo-wearin' AK-bearin' whack-a-loons out of their underground bunkers to go into town & punch a button for Mittens Fuckin' Romney unless they have him running against the love child of Charles Manson & Karl Marx. They don't need Mitt running against Barack Obama; they need him running against Barack Hussein Obama.

    Of course, such a strategy only makes sense to a party that has long since subjugated any vision for the leadership of this country to concerns over their head-count inside the Beltway. The fact that quacks like Akins & Head can even find an audience should come as neither great surprise nor shame. That these tactics are successful is what we need to worry about in this here Democracy of ours.

  39. Crazy? Yep.

    a party platform of hate and division and anger and fear:


    and yet this is what romney has to say about obama, saying the big O has a campaign of division and anger and hate:



    while El Rushbo gibbers even more illogic:


    intimating that obama's only agenda is to hate romney. while the only thing the GOP really has this time around is "any one but obama".


    this is what passes for political "discourse" in this nation at this point in the 21st century. and since most of what comes out of the republican christian right is predicated on the illogic, fiction, and superstition of a 1st century mentality and science, it's no small wonder we're as fucked up as a nation as we are. all while the right consistently points to the left as the foundation of our problems, and the left (legitimately to a large degree, i think) points to the right as the root of our problems.

    it's just this horrible back and forth and finger pointing of blame with a thick icing of failed logic (todd akin?), paying no attention to the provable facts (gladwell/arielly/heath, etc.) and serves no one but the politicians them selves.

  40. This piece was worth reading just for the rave re: Quigley Down Under alone and the shout out to the underappreciated Ms. San Giacomo. That is a terrific film....

    ....as always though the rest of it was top-drawer. My daughter moved to Texas about a year ago and has regaled the Missus and me since with stories of life in the Lone Star State.

  41. Thank god they're only crazy! If they were sane, they'd be REALLY dangerous.

    My unfounded suspicion is that there aren't any more crazies today percentage-wise than there were 150 years ago. What we do have more of, however is technology as a force-multiplier. That same percentage of whackaloons is now able to touch a vastly larger audience with their antics. Instead of being the distaff member of the family everyone ignores at Sunday dinner, now they are the buffoon with the infomercial we tune away from on TV. (Lyndon Larouche, anyone?) or the presidential candidate with internet ubiquity.

    Or the media mogul with their own TV news network. (Anyone else out there see Fox News as an IQ test for viewers?)

    Like all force-multipliers, technology is a two-edged sword. While it makes it easier for the crazies to spread their mayhem, it also makes it harder for them to hide what they're doing from scrutiny.

    Even as we stand aghast that people like Todd Aken put their feet in their mouths right on primetime trying to sway people with their insanity, that same exposure helps us weed out those like him and find them nice safe places to play far away from launch sequences and legislative mandates.

    The scary ones are the quiet ones off in the corners who seem just like everyone else until the time comes and we suddenly discover that they've voted in favor of the Patriot Act.

    1. Mack, the problem is that if crazy is repeated often enough, it starts to seem sane. I once worked in a center for mentally ill kids, and it was a constant problem with the staff -- after working with mentally ill youngsters all day for weeks at a time, staffers would start acting crazy too, requiring that a staffer be given a week or so off to decompress and regain his sanity. The staffer never recognized that he was acting crazy, a supervisor had to notice, because with all that crazy around, the staffer didn't realize he was acting out of the ordinary. Constant contact with crazy makes people act crazy, that's just a fact.

      It seems that the GOP strategy is to spew so much crazy that we *all* act crazy. Looking at some of the numbers, it seems to be working -- it's crazy that Romney is within a few points of a sitting President with significant policy victories in the polls, but with all the crazy going around, voting for Romney must feel sane to those people.


    2. Mack, I'm wondering if you meant something other than "distaff"; when used as an adjective it means "female".

    3. Ah, sorry PanthyrLee, I spend too much time hanging around amateur medieval historians.

      My understanding of "distaff" is that historically it generalized to mean "the female side of the family" which in medieval context, since inheritance was mostly through the male line, could be used pejoratively to mean someone irrelevant who was present at table only on sufferance. (To me, this conjures classical images of dilettante brothers-in-law, crazy aunts and other sorts of family hangers-on.)

      In modern company, I suppose "blacksheep" would be a less fraught term.

  42. I was circumcised at birth and couldnt walk or talk for a year after. No way was I going to inflict that on my boy.


  43. Ummm ... Is this self-hatred or is this just happy-blind-oblivion? Either way, I see it as further evidence of widespread crazy.


    1. I generally go with either Stockholm Syndrome or the same mental blocks that keep abused spouses from going back to their abusers -- or the notion that if they just slavishly lobby for the GOP hard enough and long enough then someday they might even be treated as actual people.

  44. Holy shit, I can't take you anywhere without you embarrasing the hell out of me. Your foul mouth and left wing ideas, they just flow, unrepentent on my poor unsuspecting friends and relatives, and I'm left apologizing like a Gingrich. Mom is going to write me out of her will, and I blame you.
    Can you please tone it down, or at least wait till the grown ups are out of the room. I'll go out an tell them that you're off your meds, and that you are really, really sorry.
    I'm serious here.
    Scott in MI

    1. Can you please tone it down?

      I wouldn't hold your breath, were I you

    2. I had to re-read the article. I thought he was toning it down.

  45. Scott, Jim has mellowed out a lot since getting his coffe machine. A whole lot. You could try Fed-Exing him bacon pie. That might accomplish something.

  46. I got nuthin' to add that can clarify your essay.

    I have to tell you, though, sometimes I can't make it through your entire essay. I get distracted, I get pulled away, I don't get back to it.

    This time, though, you had me at Alan Rickman. I was all yours after that.

    Just sayin'


  47. I have to commend your timing. You wrote an article about the extraordinary levels of crazy in the country just three days before Clint Eastwood's "Old man yells at chair" performance.

    Well played, Sir. Well played.

  48. I have been awaiting, with bated breath, some manner of posting from Jim, on the GOP Convention. I suppose just going with this one works, though.

    1. I suppose just going with this one works

      No. This post contains nowhere near enough crazy to cover even the Clint Eastwood Loony Old Man Act, let alone the rest of it. There will be a post on the RNC this weekend - depending on which day I go to Valdez. Be patient.

    2. Eh, he's like Charton Heston, any more. He might be delivering a speech to the RNC, or he might be delivering lines from a movie he did back in the 60s. It all gets muddled up with feverishly trying to remember if they remembered to take their Geritol that morning.

  49. You've got to look at this from Michael Reagan's point of view:

    If he wants to do a search on the Internet, he can't patronize Google because they fund Liberals. He can't go to #2 search provider Bing for the same reason. Yahoo then? Nope, not there either.

    So where, oh where, can a staunch Conservative like Reagan go to search for Hamster Porn on the Internet?

  50. I'm looking forward to the RNC post, Jim, whenever you can get to it.

    I'm glad to know my favorable opinion of Quigly Down Under can't just be written off to my infatuation with Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck and Sam Elliott always got my attention.

    Eastwood's latest performance was very sad, all politics aside.

  51. I work at a DC area 3-letter agency. The Intelligence Community is charged to objectively and dispassionately support the intel requirements of POTUS, SECDEF, DNI, etc (the Big Toes). As such you might think that your gov't and contractor intel professionals would maintain a political and idealogical neutrality in order to supply our leaders with reasoned analysis of intel data, untainted by political bias or blind hatred of that black guy shacked up in our White House.

    Most TV's in our Intel and DoD work centers are tuned to FOX Noise. They might be fair and balanced, but FOX hates them some Obama. And I am afraid that some of that noise leaks out to infect otherwise intelligent, highly trained defense professionals.

    An example conversation I had the other day during a FOX piece on Iranians installing some more centrifuges and wanting to legitimately rape Israel. Pretty much word for word:

    Professional OPS Specialist (POS): "We have to attack Iran"
    Me: "Why?"
    POS: "They hate us"
    Me: "Why?"
    POS: "They hate our freedoms!"
    Me: "Why?"
    POS: "Cause they're crazy!"
    Me: "All 75 million Iranians?"
    POS: "The gov't is crazy! They want to destroy Israel!"
    Me: "Who cares?"
    POS: "We have to defend Israel, they are the only democracy and ally in the MidEast."
    Me: "What about Turkey?"
    POS: "They are Muslim and Arab just like Iran! They hate us!"
    ME: "Turks are Turkish and Iranians are Persian. They are not Arabs."
    POS: "Whatever, we have to defend Israel!"
    Me: "Why? Are you Israeli?"
    POS: "What does that matter. All Muslims are EVIL and hate us and want to destroy Israel!"
    Me: "You know the last time Israel was in combat with the US they attacked the USS Liberty and killed 34 American sailors. And 241 Marines and sailors were blown up along with the French and our embassy was bombed while trying to unfuck the Israeli occupation of Lebanon in the 80's. They are our best friends all right."
    POS: "I don't have time for this liberal bullshit. You don't really belong here."
    Me: "Now that's the truth."

    1. Having spent most of my life in uniform working for a certain three letter agency who lives on the corner of MD32 and the BWI parkway, I'm all too familiar with this conversation. Having been one of the only tactical intelligence officers on scene in the Gulf and Iraq prior to, during, and after Operation Iraqi Freedom (urk) and having personally witnessed the false information (information I personally knew from personal experience that I personally witnessed and personally reported) that ended up in staff summaries after the war because it agreed with political positions and preconceived "intel" despite repeated attempts at correction, I'm extremely familiar with this conversation.

      What disturbs me is the complete failure of the Intelligence Cycle displayed in this conversation - i.e. Start with a political position, then find intelligence (or make it up) to support that position, disregard conflicting positions and information. The pitfalls of that kind of thinking should be obvious to anyone in the intelligence community for so many reasons. Anybody who doesn't grasp that, well, they are the ones that shouldn't be there.

      Intel's job is not to define policy. The fact that intelligence agencies have in large part become self licking ice cream cones is a major failure on the part of leadership and training.


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