Saturday, February 5, 2011

Glenn Beck: The Drooling Face of Insanity


I generally don’t promote MSNBC

That said, watch this clip from Media Matters:

Here’s Beck’s original 1 February, 2011 show: Part A, Part B, Part C. If you’ve got a strong enough stomach and if the batshit booger-eating crazy of Beck isn’t enough for you, read the comments on YouTube under the videos.


Ancient Babylon.

Ancient Babylon.

Say it really slow and ponderously, you know, like you’re insane. Also, wave your hands a lot.

Aaaanciiet Babiloooooooon…


As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I know a little something about Iraq.  I didn’t have anything to do with planning the first war there, but I was involved in plans for the current one.  Let me draw you a map:



Ancient Babylon sits in the Euphrates River Valley, between the modern day ports of Umm Qasr (about were the ancient city of Ur is on the map) and Al Basrah (a little north of Lagash) and Baghdad (which is up near where Assur is on the above map).

Now, here’s a map of the invasion:


Note that we rolled right through the middle of the ancient city state of Babylon. 

Right the fuck through the middle of it.

Bombing as we went. 

Now, we didn’t actually bomb the actual ancient city ruins of actual old Babylon. For good reason, because there’s nothing there but some old bricks, a museum, and an archeological dig.  It’s a big, desolate hole in the ground. 

Not to mention that we had orders not to destroy any more than we had to. 

Not to also mention that we were supposed to preserve Iraq’s national treasures for the Iraqi people.

And just to mention one more time that there wasn’t anything there of military value worth bombing.

We were only marginally successful.  Ultimately battles were fought all through this area and a lot of ancient ruins got chewed up.  Then, well then we built Camp Alpha on top of the old Babylonian ruins. We bulldozed helicopter landing pads, and parking lots for our Armor and dug latrines.  Our tanks crushed ancient paving stones into dust and the rumble of those 60 ton machines caused the ancient Ishtar Gate to collapse.  We were condemned by the British Museum and historians around the the world, including and especially American historians, for destroying priceless and irreplaceable relics of ancient Babylon. 

But Glenn Beck has been on Fox all week telling people this idiotic nonsense.  We didn’t bomb Ancient Babylon because of some secret Bible prophecy that we’re trying to bring about. According to Glenn, Satan, the Communists of the old USSR, the Socialists, Nazis, the Muslim Brotherhood, American Progressives (members of the Republican Party I’d just like to point out) and Barack Obama are all scheming together to bring about the Shiite dream of a reborn Islamic Caliphate which is also the New World Order run by the Illuminati and the Masons and George Soros.  Everybody, and I mean every damned body, is out to get us - and by us, Glenn means the five people he considers actual real Americans.  If he could work in Napoleon, a couple dozen Flying Saucers, the National Inquirer’s Pig Boy he’d have a SyFy movie of the week.

Now, you wouldn’t think that anybody capable of feeding themselves would listen to this raving loon with anything other than utter disbelief. No, you wouldn’t think so.

But there are. There are whole forums of these brain damaged spasm monkeys who believe him.

As Eugene Robinson said on Hardball, if you were saying this crap anywhere but Fox or in church the guys with the butterfly nets would snatch your ass off the street and pump you full of happy juice before you started eating your own excrement. 

Look, I’m not a clinical psychologist, but even I recognize gibbering paranoia when I see it.


  1. Argh, I clicked that link at the end and now my brain hurts, also my eyes, and possibly my soul.

    What does this all mean?!

    Also I really like hoe you say Aaaancient Babilooooooon... That cracks me up

  2. Ha ha! I *didn't* click on your cursed link! Nanny nanny boo boo! Some day you're going to make millions writing the dystopian novel called "If Glenn Beck Ruled the World." Some will burn it and some will say it's a secret prophecy about an alien conspiracy to put the grays' puppet, Glenn Beck, into power, but it will sell. Oh, will it sell.

    But I refuse to fall for your tricks of "oh, look at this crazy link... aren't you curious?" Damn Loki!

  3. Glenn Beck's ratings are down about 40% lately. He's also got the mindset of the morning DJ he used to be: If ratings are down, be wackier.

    I can't tell you if his ratings are down because of the late-stage syphilis, or if he's just trying to get more attention because of the ratings.

    But he's just going to get worse until he's starring in movies with Traci Lords and Frank Stallone.

    -Sandy B.

  4. I wonder, do these "people" remember that it was George HW Bush (a Republican) who talked about the New World Order back in the '90s? That, in fact, talk of the New World Order has been around for decades? Or is it just since that "n*****r" (what they think, but won't say outright) has been in the White House that America is in danger of losing its sovereignty as we sink into socialism, and this is a sign of the End Times?

  5. The good news is that Stonekettle Station is now in the top five search results for "why didn't the US bomb ancient Babylon." So I got that going for me. I see them surf in from that or similar google searches, then immediately click on the commenting rules, then back to this article, then back to the commenting rules. Back and forth, back and forth.

    Stand by for more crazy mail.


  6. In the past couple of years I began to think that no one on the planet could possibly be stupider than Sarah "I can see Russia from my window" Palin. Literally ever single time she opened her mouth she would prove that she was the dumbest human being that ever walked on two legs. But along comes Beck just vying for that trophy. Is he really this stupid, or is he just saying anything he can in order to draw attention to himself and his program?

    And the sad, sad, sad, sad, sad thing about it, is that there are many people out there who actually think he knows what he is talking about, and agrees with him.

  7. I think your remarks are very offensive...

    ... to batshit.

    Can we find out what drugs the guy is on? And which planet he got them from?

    And no, I didn't have a strong enough stomach to look at the parts A, B & C, and I definitely do not want to go anywhere near (and by near, I mean closer than one AU) the comments. The comments on the average music video are batshit enough.

    It is a source of considerale amazement to me that Beck is allowed anywhere outside of a room with padded walls, and is allowed to wear anything but one of those groovy jackets with all the straps. Has he been checked for rabies lately?

  8. Jim, how do you track them in that much detail; is it part of the standard web package?

  9. Sandy B., I think I'm in love with you. Your remark about late stage syphillis made me squirt coffee through my nostrils.

    Beck has always reminded me of that weird uncle that no one invites to family functions but shows up all the same.

  10. Well, Penty, see I worked for NSA for about 20 years...


    Kidding. There are a number of packages you can use. Google analytics for examples, which is free. I use that and also use the paid version of StatCounter and SiteMON.

  11. Y'know, Mr. Wright? I don't know that it really gets to the essence of Glenn Beck to point out the craziness of his rants. I think what makes Beck tick is that the guy is just plain stupid. What I ate for dinner last night had more IQ points, and I had a salad.

    Beck doesn't want to read up on things like history, he doesn't want to check facts; that's the kind of thing done by the kids he used to pick on in school. He is perfectly content to cobble together a world view based entirely upon whatever he can pull out of his ass, that fits with phenomena he witnesses personally. Don't wait for him to dig down to try to understand underlying causes or trends, because that's research. And that makes all three of Glenn's brain cells hurt.

    Glenn Beck - and Fox, for that matter - have made a handsome living off of saying whatever their advertisers (read, 'special interests') want them to say. They have, in the process, elevated intellectual laziness to an art form. The problem is that their brand of intellectual laziness appeals to a sizable chunk of the American populace (read, 'registered voters'). There are too many people in this country who haven't the first clue what 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc' means, don't want to know, and they're sure as hell not going call someone they follow on radio or TV on committing such an offense. And for the same reason that Beck comes up with his bullshit; they don't want to be bothered with the trouble of educating themselves.

  12. Because of your "drooling Beck" characterization, I have just invented the name of the country where Beck's brain lives.


    Sorry, people of a similarly named real country. It's all Jim's fault. But it was Nathan's idea...

  13. The loonies, they are everywhere. You guys get Sara Palin. We here in Georgia? We get this nut:


  14. Jebus, Ken, thanks for that link - now I don't feel as bad about my stupid state lawmakers.

  15. Beautiful, and more accurate than a patriot missile.

    In my humble opinion these people follow what he says because they want to feel that they are a part of something, like what they do and think matters.

    What they don't know is they ARE a part of something, America, and what they do and think DOES matter if they express them selves in the ample ways the system has laid out. (Jumping on the bandwagons of bat-shit crazy TV personalities while not illegal is not a way to voice your opinions to those who have been granted the power to change things.)

    but they hear the ranting of the modern day version of the old-fashioned town drunk and decide "everyone hears him, I'll save time and effort and let them speak for me."

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, Americans as a whole are getting lazier and stupider and it's pissing me right the F____ off.

    Jim, Loved the post please keep it up.

  16. This guy isn't nearly as crazy as he wants you to think. "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

    There are several points in his yammering diatribe where he almost literally pushes listeners towards "checking his facts," but each of those times, they're just checking the literature he's putting up on his website.

    I do worry about Europe and how it's handling and not handling internal cross-cultural issues, but I really doubt we're going to see a return to a united nation even a third the size of the Ottoman Caliphate from back in the day, and even then, I'm worst-case-scenarioing it to a fairtheewell.

    Leftist communist types and Muslims. Yeah, cuz they played so well together in Afghanistan before we mucked in.

  17. Funny thing. Last night, I was listening to Chris Matthews in the car (Sirius Satellite, gotta love it) & he was roasting Beck over this exact topic. Only took him 3 days longer than you to latch onto that story. Good scooping. :)

  18. The alternate theory is worse: that Beck is putting on an act.

    Given his background, I'm inclined to go with the ignoramus hypothesis, myself, but I figured I'd point out the disturbing alternative possibility he's more cynical than stupid, and doesn't believe a word he's saying but is willing to stir shit, fan paranoia, spread disinformation, and generally do whatever it takes to sell his show--and raise the value of advertising time and promote companies he just happens to have some kind of special relationship with (the man appears to have some kind of arrangement with Goldline and other companies who have special appeal to the paranoid survivalist moron mentality--if you believe Armageddon is nigh based on Beck's "news," it surely makes sense to convert your assets to the gold and survivalist rations Beck hawks on his website and radio show).

    If he knows what he's doing, one wishes there was a Hell that had a special place for him in it, no?


    My CAPTCHA was "swirdo": a weirdo who's full of shit. Sound like anybody who's the topic of discussion around here?

  19. And if he really doesn't know what he's doing, then any afterlife in which he comes to that realization will be a worse Hell than anything Christianity dreamed up.

  20. Just found your blog today by a link over on facebook (dealing with our elected dictator in Ohio) and have got to say I totally enjoy reading it - maybe because I agree with so much (common sense).

    Beck makes me feel like I'm on some really bad hallucinogenic drug (and I've never done drugs) when I see him, "the horror". The only way I can watch anything "Beckish" is when Jon Stewart is making fun of him.

    It's so nice to see sane people do live in Alaska where I used to want to visit till "she who must not be named" appeared on the scene.

    Great writing!

  21. Jim, I know there's good reason to "know thy enemy" but try as I might I just can't stand watching that guy. I tried, really I tried, but I kept feeling more and more slimy the longer I watched. I finally had to stop. Sorry, you’re a much tougher guy that I. ~ Dana


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