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Friday, November 23, 2012

Your Hate Warms My Flinty Black Heart

This blog is the most stupid bias blog I have ever read. Stuff like this is ruin facebook. You stupid socialist libs are all the same. There is nothing more bias than a lib. Pathetic. The so-called author of this hitler marx propaganda is probably a black women who OBVIOUSLY hates “whitey.” Which is just stuipid big time because they pay for her everything. They were NEVER SLAVES dumbazz. Whenever you hear them talking about getting even for salvry you know its a another libby welfare moocher afraid shes have to start working for her own hair extensions! You’re the stupid. Can't even speak right like normal people. You're probably illiterate too. You idiots think because your great messiah hussein got himself reelected from buying the vote that the whole country thinks like you socialist idiots do. The idiot author has no idea what the majority of AMERICANS really believe and never will clueless just like the stupid idiot barry hussein.

I admit it.

I expected it.

I knew I’d get hate mail when I wrote the previous piece.

The title, It’s The Racism, Stupid, pretty much guaranteed it.

I’ve been doing this for a while, I can usually tell which posts will get the haters fired up, and this time I knew I’d pull in more of them than a Hank Williams Jr. concert at a tractor pull. So I kept an eagle eye on the blog comments and kept the Troll Hammer ready to pound the bastards into jam when they inevitably appeared.

And, of course, inevitably they did, because there is nothing more predictable than the tired repetitious hatred of bigots.

Some advice to other bloggers, if you really – and I mean really – want to drive a hater right off the deep end, just delete their remarks without comment.  Don’t argue, don’t attempt to reason with them, don’t allow them a platform. Just erase their remarks and don’t acknowledge their existence. Then block their IP address so they can’t comment in the future.

Trust me on this, hilarity will ensue.

As always, when denied the ability to spew their bilious frothy bilge here, they resort to email – because, By Jebus! They have First Amendment rights and they’re going to tell me what they think of me and they will not be denied!

As I said, oh so predictable, right to the bitter end.

Now, before somebody points it out, yes, you are correct, there is a certain degree of perverse irony in the fact that I delete their comments … and then write a post wherein I deliberately publish the same comments that I just deleted, along with the hate mail that I also usually just delete.

But, hey, that’s me, I’m nothing if not perversely ironic. If I ever give up the blogging gig and become a super hero, that will be my super hero moniker, Perverse Irony Man. But then my arch nemesis will probably shorten it to Pervy Ironman … which come to think of it does have a certain cachet and would fit on the spandex better. But I digress.

Speaking of ironic, how about that comment up above? Posted anonymously (but of course) late yesterday afternoon?

Isn’t that precious?

I tell you, I savor every word of that comment.

Every word.

I might have to have that comment framed and bronzed for posterity.

Can’t even speak right like normal people! I’m probably illiterate too! And I’m probably a black woman who hates whitey!

Hot damn, you know it’s going to be a good day when you get a comment like that one on a post about bigotry. I feel like that kid in Animal House when the naked cheerleader comes flying through the window and lands on his bed, “Thank you, God!”

I don’t understand people like Jim Wright. How can you be this insane? What happened to you that makes you hate God so much? Really I would like to know. Why should republicans have to change? They’re right! America is based on majority rule. We’re the majority and we represent traditional American values (i.e. God!) that made this country great. When did fiscal responsibility, freedom, morals and less government become bad things? And killing your baby is good?! I just don’t understand you. It’s not bigotry to hate homosexualism and their immoral agenda because that is a sin. Murder is a sin isn’t it? And it’s against the law, so why isn’t homosexualism? You can’t answer that, can you? I read the comments from people who cheered your “logic” but they are as blind as you are. I will pray for you all. God said to hate sin, that is the true word of God. God is not a bigot!

Well, you’re right about one thing, I have no answer to your stunning logic.

I do have a question however, isn’t a hate a sin too? Or is that just for Catholics? By your beliefs, shouldn’t we outlaw hate too?

I have another question, since you’re going to pray for us all, what if nothing happens? What if I keep right on doing what I’m doing and my readers keep right doing what they’re doing and your unsolicited praying has no effect whatsoever?  Whose fault is it? Yours for not praying convincingly enough? Or God’s, for not listening to your incessant jabber?

What?

Look, You brought it up.  Frankly, your religion makes my head hurt.  And since you gave me a headache, the least you can do is explain yourself.

Also, I don’t think you understand what the word “bigot” actually means. But that’s not particularly surprising, given that you appear to have an astounding inability to comprehend a wide ranging variety of subjects.  Perhaps you should pray that Jesus will return in time to help you pull your head out of your ass, it seems like it might be a two person job. Maybe if you pray really extra good, he’ll bring the Jaws-Of-Life, because I think you’re going to need hydraulic help.

What crap. Typical liberal thinking. You think we don’t see what your doing with these kind of crap??? Conservatives need to stick to there guns and not fall for your smoke oil fake “change” crap. it’s a trick by liberals to destroy the Grand old party of Lincoln. WELL WERE NOT FALLING FOR IT!!!

Oh hell, he’s on to our plan to make Republicans stop acting like assholes.

You know what? Good for you. Way to stick to your guns. And your racism, and your homophobia, and your sexism, and the rest of your bigotry. Tell you what, why don’t you give me a call in ten years, tell me how that worked out for you and Mr. Lincoln.

Oh Jim Jim Jim Obama doesn’t have a mandate!! Why do you keep saying that he has a mandate?! Lies! Lies! Lies! There is no mandate. You poor liberals just can’t help yourself from lying can you? Liberalism really is a mental illness, isn’t it? When are you going to learn?

Probably about the time you actually start reading what I actually wrote.

Mandate? Let’s see, I used the word mandate exactly, hmmm, carry the one, round to the nearest whole number, divide by Jesus … OK, that’s odd. It looks like mandate was used exactly zero times.

Zero.

Man, I can’t believe I wrote a whole post about mandates and totally forgot to use the word mandate. It’s like I didn’t even write a post about mandates at all.

Well, that’s awkward awkward awkward.

Please. It’s racism stupid?  You call people stupid but it’s ok to say whites are bigots? I’m not a racist! Racism is voting by COLOR. Whites are the very least racist because whites come from all over the world in America and get married and insimilate. Have you ever heard of the “melting pot?” Irish and ggerman and Italians and Englishmen all came together in Ellis island and shared their culture and left behind their origins. Blacks don’t do that. They didn’t even come from Ellis Island like regular people did. African American? What is that? Latinos? Mexican American, what is that? Why can’t they just call themsevles American? They even want special made up holidays. Quanza? What is that? You con’t see that with Cubans they come to America and are grateful and try to fit in and don’t call themselves “Cuban-American.” They say they are American period. That’s racism stupid. Black people need to start taking responsiblty for themselves until then they shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they elect people based on COLOR like Obama.

I. Well. Um.  Wait, what the fuck did you just say?

That’s just, wow.

I’m not rendered speechless very damned often, but seriously, wow. 

“Insimilate.” Is that what the space aliens did to your mom?

I read this comment when it was posted to my blog about 4AM this morning. And no, I don’t usually check the comments at 4AM.  But as I mentioned above I was fully expecting haters so when I woke up at 4AM, instead of rolling over and going back to sleep to dream about the glorious UN led invasion of Texas, I glanced at my phone instead and there it was. I was about half awake and I had to read this idiotic comment about three times before I was sure of what it was saying. And then I still had to go down to the den and read it again on my main computer.

Boy, good thing the guy wasn’t a racist, eh? Because then he’d really be a douchebag.

So I’m a bigot am I? Well you libs haven’t even seen hate yet. Wait till I meet you in a dark alley some night motherfucker. I’ll only need one bullet.

I believe you.

I do.

Make sure you put the muzzle all the way to the back of your mouth, since you’ve only got the one bullet you wouldn’t want to miss.

Get this Romney won independents and all of the white vote. Ok. Obumer got the blacks and the latinos and of course all of the gays voted for him because he’s one of theirs. OK. And you say republicans are the ones with the problem? And whose stupid? OK. Whatever.

So, just to clarify:

If white people vote for a white guy, it’s only because he best represents their lives which, as you know, includes $200 million in the bank and a car elevator in the garage of their vacation homes.

If black people vote for a black guy (who also just happens to be half white), it’s because they’re all about the skin color. 

That about sum it up?

O’nomo wouldn’t have won if Sandy hadn’t happened and that’s a fact. If that fat lard ass RINO in New Jersey hadn’t sucked O’nomo’s dick on TV Romney would won in a landslide. We should have let them drown but now O’nomo will spend our tax dollars on the stupid traitors. Might as well, these last four have basically been Jersey Shore anyway. Hope you’re happy when O’nomo finally finishes off this great nation.

You know things have really changed when the liberals are hailing Chris Christie as fair and balanced and conservatives are the ones making the fat jokes.

There’s more, but I think that’s enough for one night.

 

And you people were worried that conservatives don’t read Stonekettle Station.

You guys are so funny.

254 comments:

  1. You get all the best douchenozzles. I'm jealous.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope one day to enrage this caliber of lunatics. I'm starting small, with just the run-of-the-mill bigots I find on FB, but if I put in enough time, effort, and dedication, I hope to reach your level.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you do...this is priceless, and very entertaining...keep working at it, and hopefully one day we'll be reading this on your blog

      Delete
  3. ROFLMAO!!!
    OMG, there's so much to say and not near enough time to say it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. One more thing, are all the haters that illiterate? You can almost hear the good old boy southern accent dripping from the words. Don't any of those people know how to use Google and do research? Oh wait...never mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suspect the haters are normally that illiterate. The ones that "disagree strongly" tend to be the same ones that copy/paste you stuff in your mail (like my older relatives).

      But honestly, those are AMAZING!

      Delete
    2. Do me a favor though, and don't judge by the accent. My family spent quite a lot of time in the south (military family) and I've met many wonderfully intelligent and articulate southerners. They just aren't posting this kind of response to Jim's post because well, they are wonderfully intelligent and articulate! When we finally moved home after a long career, my daughter had a southern accent and was treated pretty darn poorly by people assuming it was a reflection of her intelligence. (She's now a summa cum laude college graduate with a major and a double minor).

      Thanks for listening!

      Delete
    3. According to the IP addresses, the commenters come from all over, including here in my state of Alaska, Canada, and Europe. The South doesn't have the market on bigotry and ill-educated hate speech.

      Delete
    4. sundene, as a southerner who is completely disgusted by the well deserved reputation too many of the rest of us suffer for, i thank you. :-) we are not all bigots, and many of us had the good sense to be repulsed by the GOP and their clown circus of fundamental horror principles. in fact, many of us for a good, long time now.

      Delete
  5. What on God's green earth is "smoke oil"?!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I was wondering the same thing.

      Delete
    2. I assumed they meant 'snake oil,' but who could really know?

      Delete
    3. I was hoping for some snarky comment on that, but there were just too many targets.

      Delete
    4. I think "smoke oil" is what you put on the mirrors to make your racism look like patriotism.

      Bruce

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    5. I thought smoke oil was like Wright's Liquid Smoke" (No relation).

      Delete
    6. Smoke oil? Probably a autocorrect typo for snake oil. OTOH, have you ever seen an oil fire that didn't produce massive amounts of smoke?

      (Hey, I'm an engineer raised by an engineer. Litteralism comes with the territory.)

      Delete
    7. Smoke oil is what they put in the biplane tank when they do acrobatics. It's made from highly refined irony.

      Delete
    8. These people do have a way with the language, don't they? Just not sure what language it is.

      Delete
    9. I assume it was an unholy union of "snake oil" and "smoke and mirrors", but who knows?

      Delete
  6. "insimilate" is such a cool word. I'm totally going to use it, just as soon as I can figure out what it means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently he took vocabulary lessons from SP herself.

      Delete
    2. probably couldn't bring himself to say assimilate because it has ass in it and is probably a homosexualist word.

      Delete
  7. Just keep 'em coming, Perverse Irony Man. This was one of the funniest I've read! You rock. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Us'n white folks all come from Ellis Island?
    So THAT's why Ms. Liberty is so big and wearing all that drapery. After all, who really wants to see that melting pot in action right there while all that "insimilate"-tion is going on.

    Hope you wore a full body condom while wading through through that pool of bodily fluids. And you might consider a hepatitis shot.

    ReplyDelete
  9. these people need to take lessons from henry arthur jones. *this* is how to slag someone:

    'GEORGE BERNARD SHAW, most poisonous of all the poisonous haters of england; despiser, distorter and denier of the plain truths whereby men live; topsyturvey perverter of all human relationships; menace to ordered social thought and ordered social life; irresponsible braggart, blaring self-trumpeter; idol of opaque intellectuals and thwarted females; calculus of contrariwise; flippertygibbet pope of chaos; portent and epitome of this generation's moral and spiritual disorder.'

    MY DEAR WELLS

    HENRY ARTHUR JONES (1851-1929)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think he left anything out. The insult, when thoughtfully composed, is high art among several cultures. Ours used to be one of them.

      Delete
  10. It terrifies and saddens me that there are actually people THAT stupid in our country. All hats off to you Jim for actually setting yourself in their sights. And once again, thank you so much for a gut-busting read :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jim - -
    Why are you getting up at 4AM ????
    This ain't worth it.
    Gotta admit, I didn't realize you were female ... and black ..... the picture doesn't do you justice !!! Is the hat a Marxist one or a Hitler one (also Nazis !)
    Please ... Please keep stirrin' em up, eh .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get up at 4AM because I'm a very light sleeper and I'm a middle aged man with a middle aged bladder.

      Delete
    2. Sad but true. 30 years ago, I'd have been up at 4am (hoping) to "insimilate" something. Sadly, now it's just a minor sleep disorder and bladder insufficiency ...

      Delete
  12. This blog gives me such a happy. Thank you!

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  13. Mittens got the Independents? Not this white, middle-aged male Independent voter from the SouthWest.

    But honestly: Don't you just love it, when the bastards make the case for you, without any help, and don't even realize they're doing it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ..nor this one.. also from the SouthWest. Wait! Are you me?

      Delete
    2. Let's make it three, and I don't think I am either of you.

      JC

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    3. Well, I am an independent of the Caucasian persuasion and those putzes sure didn't get my vote.

      Delete
    4. Not mine either. I'm an unaffiliated middle aged white married female. Of course, I realize that most of these inbred idiots don't think women have brains enough to vote anyway.

      Delete
    5. I am thankful to be an independent woman (who also happens to be white) and I would have sooner died than vote for Romney.

      Delete
    6. Not my vote as well. Although mine certainly doesn't count in the Electoral College. All my offspring (all adults) save one are looking forward to the day they can leave this reddest of red states (Ne. and the one that likes it here just doesn't care about politics for some reason) I am looking forward to retirement and the ability to follow one or more of them to their favored regions. Seattle and Portland are often mentioned.

      Delete
    7. Yeah, I wondered about that as well. I'm a white independant, and I voted for Obama. Dunno WTF they're ranting about. But then again, neither do they.

      Delete
    8. For anyone who's seen a picture of me, my 3rd gen Irish-American paleness doesn't need to be pointed out. I'd also like to think that you can tell I'm female. The things that don't show in a picture are: I received Social Security payouts until I graduated from high-school to help ensure my well-being after my father died when I was five. I was attacked by a child molester when I was eleven. I registered as an Independent. My major is molecular biology, and I don't need a religion to explain the world around me. I'm married to a man, despite my equal love for women. I've used the Pell Grant to help pay for a couple semesters of my schooling. And I would rather have died than voted for someone who cared so little for my life, my love, and my friends as Romney/Ryan.

      Delete
  14. That first bit you posted made my head hurt. I had to read it two times before I could parse what it said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. I had a hard time getting past it! I really felt like something in my brain might explode.

      Delete
    2. For a second, I wanted to stab my computer, but then that would be punishing my computer.

      Delete
    3. Why did you bother? Seriously? I read enough to get the gist of it then just skipped to Jim's roasting of the twit.

      Delete
  15. What amazes me is that these people seem to seek you out - I mean you aren't that easy to find, its not like you're FOX news - and then after being throughly disgusted by your opinions, they comment and come back for more.
    Do these people not have lives? Really?
    I'm amazed. Their time would be better spent revisiting English 101. Or taking a class in rhetoric. Or even reading the bible. Or learning how to use spell check - it is pretty automatic these days.
    Absolutely amazing to me. I'm pretty narrow minded, I don't read the blogs of people who I think are lunatics. Nor would I bother to argue with them since they are entitled to hold completely erroneous opinions, so long as they don't foist them off on me...
    I must assume that these folks need to crank up their adrenaline levels so they can power out to WalMart and beat the crap out of their neighbors for a new cell phone - why else engage in such an exercise?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of these commenters are single time visitors who come in from links on social media like Facebook and Twitter. My stuff gets linked and shared across social media and the wider it goes the more crazy people see it - and they're conditioned by Facebook and such to think they can spew whatever crap they want in any illiterate fashion they like. Some of them see it as an obligation. I deleted a comment last night and blocked the IP address, and the commenter kept attempting repost for over an hour.

      I think some of these commenters were pulled in thinking I was somebody very different. One of my recent photos was shared on Facebook several thousand times across a number of "Alaskan" accounts. Some of which are very conservative, guns and hunting and militia oriented. I think they were upset when they found out I wasn't who they assumed I was.

      Delete
    2. Jim don't underestimate the power of truth. Even though they slag you off 16 ways to Sunday, they probably wouldn't bother if you hadn't hurt them where they live. In other words, in some dank corner of their moldered souls, some crushed small voice, of their own, is whispering, oh shit that guy has got your number.

      And THAT is why they hate you so much.

      Delete
    3. This just made me giggle the whole way through.

      But it gives me a bit of hope to think that they read your post, even if they disagreed so strongly as to absolutely miss every point you make. At least they saw somebody say it - I worry about the echo chambers we build for ourselves, and how they reinforce our own biases (suppose I ought to go read a conservative blog post now). I'm glad you've got a thick enough skin to speak out loud and in public.

      Delete
    4. They have not figured out that they need to bang the rocks together. They are not clever monkeys, and they do not "Win At The Intertoobz."

      --Hawk

      Delete
  16. People are f'ng amazing, aren't they? I wish I could come up with the quick and witty responses that you do. Priceless.

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  17. Man, I feel like I need a shot and a round of penicillin to deal with the toxicity of those comments. You're a brave and hardy soul and I salute you.
    M from MD

    ReplyDelete
  18. That second comment was scary just by the fact he spelled (and used) "they're" correctly.. in fact, I don't think he mis-spelled a single word. I want his spell checker!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow. Perverse Irony Man. I wish I had thought of that, because that would be an AWESOME super hero to play in the super heroes game I have going on. And I'll bet Perverse Irony Man looks great in spandex, too!

    And I just get weirdos trying to sell faux Gucci purses and sex toys on my blog. I'm a little bit jealous of you, Jim. Just a little bit jealous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pervy Ironman needs to get on the stairmaster. Nobody needs to see him in spandex.

      Delete
  20. It took me a very, very long time to recover from Insimilate. That was just ... incredible. I did literally cry.

    JC

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    Replies
    1. If insimilate isn't a word, it should be. Seriously.

      Delete
    2. Insimilate: Assuming everyone who looks the same also thinks and acts the same.

      You're welcome.

      Delete
    3. Example of Use: "The Republicans blame insimmilation among blacks and latinos as the reason why Mitt Romney lost the election."

      Delete
    4. Insimilate. Right up there with Twatwaffle.

      "You're a real Twatwaffle, Maureen."

      Delete
    5. Ok, cover me, I'm going in...

      The Online Etymology Dictionary offers this for assimilate:
      "early 15c., from L. assimilatus "feigned, pretended, fictitious," pp. of assimilare "to make like," from ad- "to" (see ad-) + simulare "make similar," from similis "like, resembling" (see similar). Originally transitive (with to); intransitive use first recorded 1837. Related: Assimilated; assimilating."

      So "similis" is the root. So, at least in a theoretical sense, "insimilate" is a plausible construction. Now whether it's seaworthy and can carry meaning without foundering is another question. The prefix "in-" (along with its variants, il- and ir-) means "not," it's a negation (like irrelevant). Insimilate then would be something kinda... vaguely... sorta meaning "not like," or "not resembling." So I guess that real, WHITE Merkins came here to not resemble or be like. Like, you know, the utter opposite of assimilating.

      Delete
    6. Ok, cover me, I'm going in...

      The Online Etymology Dictionary offers this for assimilate:
      "early 15c., from L. assimilatus "feigned, pretended, fictitious," pp. of assimilare "to make like," from ad- "to" (see ad-) + simulare "make similar," from similis "like, resembling" (see similar). Originally transitive (with to); intransitive use first recorded 1837. Related: Assimilated; assimilating."

      So "similis" is the root. So, at least in a theoretical sense, "insimilate" is a plausible construction. Now whether it's seaworthy and can carry meaning without foundering is another question. The prefix "in-" (along with its variants, il- and ir-) means "not," it's a negation (like irrelevant). Insimilate then would be something kinda... vaguely... sorta meaning "not like," or "not resembling." So I guess that real, WHITE Merkins came here to not resemble or be like. Like, you know, the utter opposite of assimilating.

      Delete
  21. I am glad you have a thick skin, a good mind and a snarky wit! Those sort of "comments" make me so angry, I could almost go buy a gun! But thankfuly I can let you use your words and beat the idiots over the head and I don't need to go to prison for shooting up a Republican lynch..er meeting! Thanks! P.S.Please, don;t make fun of mispelling and typos, sometimes it is the machines fault, sometimes it is people with dislexia or other valid reasons. Mispelling or typos do NOT prove a person is stupid and useing that as a reason to attack or question their intelegence is a cheap and senseless thing to do! Clearly the words they spelled right prove how stupid they are, no need to reach for a cheap shot! :)

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    Replies
    1. The only typos I generally make fun of are my own. That's why it seems like I'm always making fun of typos.

      Delete
    2. That's right. The reasons to poke fun at them are all in their ideas and the way they foam at the mouth as they spit them at you.

      Delete
    3. I can't get by the misspellings to tell what they are saying, so it does interfere with the communication, for what many of them are worth.

      Delete
  22. ok, i'm sure this term already exists but i've never seen it before. but about 2/3's of the way through this i PML'd (pissed myself laughing). seriously. how do people this stupid get though the day. alive. and why?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've read lately that, due to the safety and security of the modern age, the stupid offspring of humanity are surviving and breeding more and more like themselves. In effect the human race is devolving due to it's success. I guess that stuck with me because I've been thinking that would probably occur for a couple of decades now.

      Delete
  23. Most of the ones that write those "Edumacated" words of wit are probably the ones that type one handed because the other is busy in their lap. Most would not know the true if it jumped up and bit them on that tiny weenie they have in the two fingers of the hand in their lap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey now, there are plenty of people who type one handed with the other busy with their junk that are pretty darned articulate! :D

      Delete
  24. OH MY GAWD~! Laugh. Out. Loud. Again and again.
    You could be Perverse Iconic Man, too, ya know.
    In fact, The Ironic Icon has a pretty good ring to it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dear Pervy Ironman:

    You are may favorite superhero today. None of the other superheroes made me LMAO today, or taught me any cool new words (insimilate: Is that sort of like a combination of inseminate and assimilate? Word Salad Sally, where are you when we need someone to interpret gobbledygook? I am longing to know what this means, and I want video for maximum clarity.)

    Anyway, Pervy Ironman, I totally want a T-shirt with your logo on it (that would include a photo to prove you ARE in fact a black woman, right?)

    P.S. I've finally learned to put the beverage AWAY before reading Stonekettle and therefore my shirt and monitor are clean. I did almost wet my pants, however. BTW, did you name the blog so that the initials were SS in order to secretly communicate your Nazi agenda? Just wondering.

    P.P.S. - Oh, wait, that was supposed to say "mandate". My bad.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well, they say that a man is judged by the quality of his enemies. Or in your case, by their moronicity. And if *that* isn't a word, it should be, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should probably get some better enemies then.

      Delete
    2. Hate to tell you Jim, but you're not a very attractive black woman, either, spandex or no.

      Delete
  27. Damn African Americans... didn't even come through Ellis Island... Who the hell did they think they were?

    Seriously? But hey, he's NOT a racist!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sigh... unfortunately, this brings me to the subject of my mother, who recently revealed to me (by accident - she was talking to someone with a "Limbaugh University" sweatshirt on) that she LIKES RUSH LIMBAUGH along with her husband, and they should get sweatshirts like that, too! Many conversations I've had with the two of them about any social issue have included something along the lines of "but it's okay that people discriminate, because it has been happening for centuries." Gaaaah!

    I'll get through the holidays. I will. But I tell you, even though I knew most of my family is conservative, learning that "I like Rush Limbaugh" tidbit about my mother seriously twisted my world and I got a bit dizzy. I still can't think about it much. There's no way to wrap my mind around it. I'd rather not have family gatherings turn into major conflict arenas, but damn, I can't keep quiet sometimes. No one wants to see his or her mother as a hater. I may need therapy.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I just learned that my liberal son married a bigot--only he makes excuses for her. Well, I'm not throwing any family dinners any time soon.

      Delete
  29. Okay, I admit that I find these comments you repurposed to a full blog post intriguing, and amusing, to read. Much like slowing down to check out an accident on the highway. What can I say? I'm kind of twisted that way. You should have a separate section on your blog where you move them to from the main comments section just so that those of us who are up on their shots can go and see the crazy in action.

    It amazes me sometimes how people can do things like claim that their opinion is in the majority when they just lost something major like a presidential election. This should, obviously, inform them that they are not a part of the majority. Instead they claim conspiracies, cheating, and anything else but the fact that, just maybe, the majority does not agree with them.

    Incidentally, I am yet another registered independent who voted for Obama.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called immaturity. Like when your six-year-old flings the Monopoly board across the room when he's beaten for the third time by his nine-year-old sister despite herself and he stomps out of the room muttering "cheater..."

      Delete
  30. Wait, 'til I wipe the laughter tears from my eyes and the stitch in my side eases... OK. Geesh Jim, your hate mail is way more amusing than Kos' weekly hate mail-a-palooza. Maybe you're just attracting an even more dysfunctional, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic racist illiterate, ill-informed segment of the far reaches of the right wing. Well bless their shriveled little hearts, and delete away.

    ReplyDelete
  31. And if the election was decided because of hurricane Sandy, and the weather is a result of "God's Will" does that mean that God willed the election result???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That requires logic to reach that conclusion. Something I seriously doubt the writers of the hate mail above know anything about.

      Delete
  32. Maybe it is only the smart conservatives that don't read your blog. Wait! I think "smart conservative" is an oxymoron.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Pervy Iron Man should have his own blog for the idiot hate male.

    Oh, and T-shirts, definitely T-shirts... Any artists read this?

    Now I know why you wear that hat it's to stop your brains leaking out of your ears when you read the stupid.

    Now all we need is an application that can back-track the idiot posters, take over their computers/monitors and aim extra-strong radiation at the bits they are holding with the non-typing hand... just in case there is a chance of preventing them breeding.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Another non declared voter who did NOT for the RightWingnutScum rMoney Slime Krew.

    ReplyDelete
  35. In between gales of laughter, I am reminded of Einstein's quote, "the difference between genius and stupidity, is that genius has its limits."

    ReplyDelete
  36. I really enjoy your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  37. >Having a shit week.
    >Wake up in agony.
    >Read the last two posts on Stonekettle Station.
    >Feel immensely better.

    Jim you're sunshine on a cloudy day. Snarky and sarcastic sunshine, but sunshine none the less.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I Love your Blog!

    ReplyDelete
  39. That second to last one, the one that got insimilated, that got me, and my stomach hurts and there are tears running down my face. Oh this is delicious. Baiting stupid people and then watching them step in it and PROVE they're right for the bait. Ok, I'll be fair - I don't really think you wrote it entirely to bait them (or did you?) - it needed to be said. It needed to be aired that the remarks I've been reading for months everywhere referencing the "monkey," the "lawn jockey," and the "nigger" have made me very upset, anxious, and frightened that this sort of ugly-hearted goon might ever be voted into power. So we have hopefully a happy ending and a good new chapter with a President who now has little to lose.

    ReplyDelete
  40. You can also send all their vowels to Bosnia. That really gets their dander up.

    ReplyDelete
  41. "Perhaps you should pray that Jesus will return in time to help you pull your head out of your ass, it seems like it might be a two person job. Maybe if you pray really extra good, he’ll bring the Jaws-Of-Life, because I think you’re going to need hydraulic help."

    "...round to the nearest whole number, divide by Jesus..."

    I burst out laughing at these parts.

    Where have you been all my life? Seriously, this post is like a tall, cold glass of lemonade on a scorching hot day.

    Here is a comment that I got on one of my blog posts right before the election:
    Wow, what a hateful piece of trash you are to spend so much time hating people you have never met. It was people like you that started the Ku Klux Klan (yes, Democrats started the Klan), and you are still hateful. Wow! You should pat yourself on the back for being such a piece of crap. You can get back to your hateful hobby now. I hope someone does the same thing to you that you do to others, and I hope that everything you wish on others happens to you, as well.

    Amazingly, my blog is about photography and the post consisted of merely some cartoonish photo-manipulations of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.

    I just found your blog and I am now a loyal reader for life! I rarely ever feel that way about a blog.

    ReplyDelete
  42. We need a superhero costume for Perverse Irony Man. That's what I want to wear for Halloween next year.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm still trying to figure out how you would attach your free hair extensions!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a fifth grade student in class last week who'd used Superglue. She was so uncomfortable that I sent her to the restroom to do something about it. Of course, at that age most of us were experimenting in some way...

      Delete
    2. The staple gun idea conjures up more interesting visuals.

      Delete
  44. Let me guess which picture it was, the one with the aircraft against that beautiful sunset.

    ReplyDelete
  45. You know what I love? I love that some of your haters, otherwise known as fools, are so stupid that they spread their hateful comments right over to President Obama and then they have the CIA, FBI, Secret Service and God knows who watching them like hawks for being so stupid as to spread their bigotus (yes, that's a new word that I just made up; sounded kinda cool... LOL!) remarks out loud, and outside of their "party". Imagine that. They're jeopardizing their "Bigot Club Membership" cards. These people are pure COMEDY!

    Keep getting them fired up! You deserve an award! Help incarcerate as many of these anti-Christ idiots as possible. Dude, you rule!

    ReplyDelete
  46. You did it, Jim. I almost choked to death laughing. :D

    ReplyDelete
  47. Okay. I am SO totally bookmarking your blog! Thank you for saying things I've wanted to but had no idea how to approach!!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Btw Ellis Island opened for business (processing immigrants) in 1892. the last chattel slave brought to the U.S. and sold arrived, I believe, during the civil war, and he was pretty much very rare anomaly (also importing slaves had been technically illegal for decades by then).

    So, yeah, how lazy were all those Africans to not get themselves processed on Ellis Island, huh? I mean it was just thoughtless of them to arrive so much earlier. It's like they were trying to get a jump on all those much later and much paler arrivals from Europe. You know, claim or buy up all the prime land, name everything after themselves, force their language and culture on everybody, so by the time the Ellis Island crowd showed up the whole country more or less already belonged to them.

    That IS how it happened, right?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Go back to school before blogging. No seriously, please go back to school. Learn proper English, Spelling, and for God's sake, learn Social Studies and History.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Before blogging? Or before commenting on a blog?

      I'm not sure if I should unlimber the Troll Mallet here, or agree.

      Delete
    2. Here in Texas, it doesn't help much to study Social Studies (including History) because it's already been whitewashed.

      Delete
    3. "Whitewashed" is such a perfectly ironic word for it, Mary. And the head whitewasher is from my hometown. I try not to think about it...

      Delete
    4. Methinks Shoryo Tombo needs to be introduced to the Troll Mallet.

      Delete
    5. I think she either got JoeJobbed or is referring to the commenters, based on a quick look at her facebook page.

      Delete
  50. You know, Jim- it'd be pretty damn funny if every now and then you just picked a dozen or so of the best, really rabid, off the chain crazy comments from these guys, and serve up a word-salad open thread and prepost it across the Face Book and the Twitter and such, and post them in real time so we could all take a crack at them, kind of like the comments section on Regretsy (BTW- if you dig awful arts & crafts, and very snarky comments section, made up of a bunch of Fat Jealous Losers who sit around all day, making fun of people who try to sell stupid shit on Etsy, then you'd dig this site) It's a hilarious site, and the 'craftards' are the entertainment. There's so much butthurt when one of them gets featured there, because, well, they're *artists*, and just following their muse, and how dare you call my piece of crap a piece of crap, and you're just jelus of our creeativiteez!!!!1 *LOLcat eyeroll*
    It's very amusing; if you haven't checked it out, you should. It's comedy gold, Warrant- I'll link you on FB.

    But I digress. Sorry, it's 6:00 on Saturday morning, the last of the stragglers have just left my house after a night of catching up with old friends and family; and when I saw you'd posted a new Stonekettle blog on Facebook, I had to stop by and check it out. Of course, it didn't disappoint. Never does. My girlfriend is getting ready to leave for work, and asking me what's so funny (insimmilated about made me do a spit-take with my Iced Tea). I told her you put up a new post, and I'll have to read it to her when she gets home- she says she likes it when I read your blog and thinks I capture your righteous indignation pretty well--- And a previous poster got it right, you know- you really *do* seem to get the best slope-headed, cousin-humpin', knuckle-draggin' mouth-breathers. I just think it'd be hella funny to let us all loose on them and just riff off them and you and each other- I've subbed this blog for well over a year, and in that time I've seen some pretty clever fans here- And the thought of seeing weapon-grade stupid posts like the ones above get dogpiled by you and bunches of your fans- I'm thinking epic butthurt comedy potential... Think it over, wouldn't you?

    Hope you and your family had a great Turkey Day, Jim, and I can't hardly wait for the next installment of The Adventures of Pervy Ironman! Peace, brah-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And validate their insanity in their own eyes? If they're just trolls, that's what they want. If they're really that ignorant all you'd do is reenforce their beliefs. Waste of time. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

      Delete
  51. These comments just make me more and more proud to have voted for the other guy... if for no other reason than to put that much more distance between me and the hating haters of bigoted ignorance. That are just too STU-EYE-PID for words...

    "Which is just stuipid big time because they pay for her everything"

    ReplyDelete
  52. Conservatives are definitely reading Stonekettle Station, unfortunately their reading comprehension level is extremely low and they can't process the information!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Please see the post on "grammar" at
    http://bustednuckles.wordpress.com/
    He has a wonderful box of rules that you might like to add to your rules - not that those people(?) who peg the bigot meter ever bother with rules.
    Great post on the haters! Needed a liquid alert first, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not like they read the rules anyway.

      Delete
    2. But they add so much to the conversation just being themselves.

      BTW I keep trying to sign in with Google and Wordpress and all manner of crazy stuff happens to prevent me. I am obviously too dumb to post here but I will do so anyway.

      Sincerely, Mudpie maker

      Delete
  54. As a friend of mine, a poli-sci professor remarked last night: what we need to fear is that these idiots will actually gain political office and begin to act on their sick ways of thinking.

    Okay. Those aren't his exact words. I paraphrased. But I have complete confidence he would agree that what I wrote above is what he intended.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that has already happened...

      Delete
    2. I agree with Buford that this has already happened. It has been happening for about 30 years, and I believe we are finally seeing the death throes of the 'hijacked' GOP. Now it remains to be seen whether saner heads will take the helm and 'realign' it, or whether it will slink off to be marginalized while another party comes to prominence.

      Delete
  55. Holy cow. I'd like to say I'm thrilled to have found your blog, but this was the first post I read, and EW! Not "EW" you, of course, but the breathtaking nardary of the comments you write about. Dang! I haven't gotten even one "hate" comment on my blog, and I'm not sure if I'm glad or disappointed! I'm really enjoying your blog, Jim. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Write about religion, politics, or Justin Beiber, you'll get comments. Trust me.

      Delete
    2. Would writing about all three simultaneously trigger some kind of troll-pocalypse?
      I've got to try this, now!

      Delete
  56. Yes, "insimilate". I believe we do that by feeding our babies InSimilac when young, right?

    But, "homosexualism"? It's an "ism", a worldview, a belief structure? Like socialism or patriotism?

    The end result ofwhich is the dissolution of the State into a nattily-dressed, rainbow-hued cocktail party with chilled white wine and appletinis for all. Hey, I may become a homosexualist!

    Ooops. I may have devolved into "stereotypism".

    Bruce

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beats the hell out of me, I'd never seen "homosexulism" used before. Googling it yields ambiguous results. I don't know if it's widely used by kind of crowd or one particular church or what.

      "Homosexulism" why I picked that particular comment, it caught my eye.

      Delete
    2. So it's more "Metrosexual" than anything.

      Because that's pretty ambiguous.

      --Hawk

      Delete
  57. *light bulb!*
    Oh my gawd, it didn't even occur to me that not only are these clowns huge flaming racists, but they're mad because Obama's not "giving" them any "free" "stuff".

    Isn't there a Commandment about not coveting your neighbor's ass or something... ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's about your neighbor's wife's ass, actually.

      Delete
    2. Maybe a combination of the two?

      Delete
  58. I don't consider the people who post the kind of comments Jim gets in his "hate mail box" to be conservatives. They are something else entirely. I'll have to think up a new word just for them, though it will be hard to beat "insimilate."

    I've run a political discussion bulletin board since 2005 and we have some regulars who, though they spell better, hold the same kind of views as the haters Jim gets. And they don't just HOLD them; they are absolutely bonded to them in a SuperGlue kind of way. You can show them over and over where their facts are incorrect, skewed, or just plain fantasy, and they still refuse to accept what is obvious to any normal person. I don't get it. But I sure am glad they won't be wielding any political power for the next 4 years -- or at least, won't be wielding as much as I feared they would be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does Reactionary still work? I think I would love to see folks like this labeled Reactionaries - mostly because they would hate it so much. I don't think I have really seen that label since maybe the late 60s? But then, I remember parts, so I guess I wasn't there.

      JC

      Delete
    2. You can show them over and over where their facts are incorrect, skewed, or just plain fantasy, and they still refuse to accept what is obvious to any normal person.

      Which is why I delete their comments out of hand. Again, you can't reason with unreasonable people, attempting to do so gives you stomach cancer.

      Delete
  59. "I’m not a racist! Racism is voting by COLOR. Whites are the very least racist..."
    Yup. You betcha, honey. The whole "insimilation" dealie distracted folks from your head spin there.
    You are a racist. Racism is much more than voting by color, though it often and usually includes voting by color, and isn't that what you did?
    The messy notion that an ethnic melting pot of white people is what we are and should be, pesky PoC be damned, especially those stinking Native Americans who just flat will not "insimilate" , is pretty much UWH.

    Thank you Jim.
    Need to keep seeing this horsepunky . It's real and it's all over.
    Need to get it exorcised from mainstream and corralled back in lulu land where it belongs.
    Alaska Pi

    ReplyDelete
  60. OMGOMGOMG!! LOVE! Iron Pervyman, lmao - Jesus return and help remove your head from your ass - divided by Jesus - put the muzzle all the way to the back of your mouth ----

    Too much!! No - I lie!! Absolutely perfect!! Yes, sounds like you need a page devoted to these comments that you can add to over time: 'The Best of Moronic Replies to SS'.

    Gotta run to work or I'd read the whole thing over twice more! I'll do the enjoyable repeats later - and then read it to my sister in Canada, she LOVES when I do that! (Yes, she could read it herself but she doesn't 'compute much', lol.)

    ReplyDelete
  61. That guy who said you were a Black Woman clearly doesn't read my blog. I was able to demonstrate conclusively that you're an eleven-year-old girl in Mongolia. (O.K. it was a while ago, so you should be 14 by now.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a 14 year old Asian girl from Kowloon. Send me money, I send you pictures.

      Delete
  62. These people need to wear their tinfoil hats more. It continually amazes me the extent to which they twist the facts to insimilate their paranoid worldview. 9/11 #1 was a government plot - the planes were really missiles cloaked by holograms to look like planes. 9/11 #2 the Benghazi Plot was set up to kill Ambassador Stevens because he had information that would blow O'bummer's re-election chances. WTF? First they say the libtards are incompetent and evil, then they say not only are liberals EVIL, they are incredibly good at hiding their plots! And God is on the side of the heroic volk who are exposing those evil plots - that is why He (because, of course, God is a white male)made sure the Kenyan Muslin would get another 4 years by sending Sandy and Chris Christie to bail him out with Acts Of Nature. Morans!

    Please, please, Jim, we need Perverse Ironic Man T-shirts...

    Annie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the extent to which they twist the facts to insimilate their paranoid worldview.

      I see what you did there.

      Delete
  63. Jim, John Scalzi did a book "Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded" (http://tinyurl.com/yj8uva5). You should do the same - but possibly in ebook format, so you can easily expand with more editions as necessary without cutting down a whole forrest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a copy of Scalzi's Hatemail book.

      It's ironic that the worst hatemail I ever got, a full month of it of vitriolic hate worse than anything I ever got for writing about politics and the biggest shitstorm of bigoted assholes I've ever met came from John Scalzi and his utterly insane genderfail asshole followers.

      He's welcome to run his site however he wants, up to and including lighting himself on fire for the genderfail/racefail crowd, but one of the reasons I run Stonekettle Station the way I do is because of that incident. I will not allow that kind of bullshit here. Period.

      Delete
    2. Jim:

      Don't intend to follow Scalzi's "Whatever." In fact, I didn't even know about it. But you seemed to have strong feelings, so I jumped over there to see what it was. Two things struck me: 1) He devotes a lot of space to hawking his books, and 2) The posts I looked at and the attached comments are truly soporific. Life's too short to waste any more minutes there.

      Delete
    3. Well, John Scalzi is a highly successful writer, a pretty decent one too. If you like SciFi, you might check out his Old Man's War, he's also the president of the SFWA, or used to be anyway (I honestly have no idea what he's been up to lately and really don't care). His blog is an extension of his professional writing life and he uses it to promote his books - and the books of many other writers (or a least he used to, I don't know if he still does, but I suspect it is likely). I certainly don't begrudge him that. If I ever finish the half dozen projects I'm working on, you can bet I'll be doing some hawking here.

      His commenters used to be a really decent and fun group of people, in general, with a much more intelligent and high quality forum than you usually find. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion he became a victim of his own popularity and his own press releases. He invited in a bunch of people that are absolutely fucking insane and let them run around unfettered, because he's apparently scared to death of them. The genderfail and racefail crowd. When conservatives talk about insane liberals and political correctness run amok, these are the people who make those asinine complaints legit. They're nuts. They are full of hate and red eyed rage and self loathing to a degree that is simply astounding. A bunch of them set on me one day on Scalzi's blog, first accusing me of sexism and then homophobia and then just being the fucking anti-christ. It went so far off the rails that it simply boggles the mind. Four hundred comments later, and I expected Scalzi to shut it down, instead he pulled a John Boehner Birther bit a assholery, well, gee, Jim I don't really know you but I assume you're not a racist and sexist and bigot, but.... And that, my friend, was the fucking end of that. The part mentioned above, the trolls, is that when Scalzi finally did shut it down, those hateful fucks came here and kept sending me hatemail and death threats for months afterward. It was bizarre, I've never seen anything like it. And Scalzi did nothing to stop it. Washed his hands of it.

      I'll put up with a lot, but not gutless asshatery writ large. He may be a decent writer, and a lot of people like him, but he's seriously lacking in the character department. The only time I wouldn't piss on him is if he was on fire.

      Delete
  64. What really bothers me is that these people are out there and scare the absolute hell out of me.

    ReplyDelete
  65. As a substitute teacher, I see how kids are learning the language (or not). Take, for example, the common ways that "there/their" and "your/you're" are misused, as seen in at least one of the hater comments above. Words like these are introduced as spelling words in second grade; homophones in third; reviewed in fourth. Thereafter they're marked wrong whenever a student uses them, often into college courses. I'm seeing that in general, many people think that they're only important in a school context but nowhere else. These kinds of misused words show up in emails such as these, and comments on sites that allow them, and on protest signs. They may even be found carved in stone as part of the Ten Commandments (wasn't anybody actually following the text?) and sometimes in published sources such as newspaper headlines.

    I proofread the world, and it's not funny any more. Thanks, Jim, for making me laugh again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget the loose/lose thing, and the one that always drives me nuts; burgandy. I have proofread for a living, too. I would charge most of these people an extra fee for the annoyance factor.

      Delete
  66. And now for the truly scary part: these people reproduce. And they teach their children to hate and fear just like they do. Rodgers & Hammerstein (South Pacific)were right: You've got to be carefully taught.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Man oh man, I knew that Colombian coffee I had this morning was a mistake. Chief export out of Columbia my a**. I thought the comments in your post were a hallucination. I had to read.... And reread... And wipe my glasses.... And rub my eyes... And read again... And then I was forced to accept the fact that, somehow, someone actually wrote those comments.

    I live in a rural part of Colorado where Bigfoot sightings are regular enough these make the county paper in between election results and highway fatalities but I've still never read anything quite like this. What the holy heck does "insimilate" mean? I picture a Sasquatch chasing after me with giant turkey baster and I shudder. You just know whoever came up with that little gem also thinks public education is a "librul/socialist/Obama plot that forces the homosexual agenda on kids."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brought to you by the same types who grow up being taught that the ACLU is a 4-letter word...

      Delete
  68. OK, if I remember correctly, the election was 18 days ago. 18 days. And there are STILL Romney/Ryan signs in my neighborhood. A young friend who was rooting for RR explained to me that the winner isn't decided until 2 weeks after the election because that's when the military ballots come in. And, she says ('parrots' would probably be the correct word here), the military ballots should be sent in early, just like they were when Reagan was president. So if I count correctly, its now 18 days AFTER the election. And Mr. Obama won. Take down the damn signs.

    Thanks again for brightening my day, Pervy Man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know what you're complaining about, I live in South Central Alaska, my neighbors still have McCain/Palin signs in their yards.

      Delete
  69. "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." (Asimov?)

    I've recently started reading Stonekettle, thanks to a reference from Maddow Blog. Fan for life (of both).

    ReplyDelete
  70. I should check Google first. Asimov's inspiration was a quotation by Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805): "Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens." ("Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.")

    ReplyDelete
  71. Damme, sirrah, I'd love to comment further but I have some insimilation to take care of before it gets cold.

    ReplyDelete
  72. It occurs to me that the more the Reich wing tries to "disprove" their hatred and racism, the deeper they sink into it. Idiots.

    Well done, Jim.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Shooting fish in a barrel. For shame! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  74. I just want to know what a "ggerman" is. 'Cause I'm not sure, but I think I might be one.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I was just thinking, if You are illiterate, how did You write this blog :-) :-) :-)
    Keep on the good work!

    Christer.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Jim:

    You said, "Don’t argue, don’t attempt to reason with them, don’t allow them a platform. Just erase their remarks and don’t acknowledge their existence. Then block their IP address so they can’t comment in the future."

    Yup. There's no point to arguing with an idiot. He'll just drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience

    Then you said, "Now, before somebody points it out, yes, you are correct, there is a certain degree of perverse irony in the fact that I delete their comments … and then write a post wherein I deliberately publish the same comments that I just deleted, along with the hate mail that I also usually just delete. But, hey, that’s me, I’m nothing if not perversely ironic."

    But that's the fun of it. Right? I don't hang around Red State and the other wackadoo right wing blogs, but it would surprise me very much if they received the same kind of semi-literate, racist, bigoted comments that left-leaning blogs do.

    ReplyDelete
  77. "I have another question, since you’re going to pray for us all, what if nothing happens? What if I keep right on doing what I’m doing and my readers keep right doing what they’re doing and your unsolicited praying has no effect whatsoever?"

    May I, Jim? Not answering for GodLady [1] there, just for myself. Because, see, I include you in my prayers every Sunday. S'true! I do! And not, mind, because it's just so Perversely Ironic, either. (Well, mostly not, anyway. Heh.)

    "[W]hat if nothing happens?" Then my prayers were answered. "What if I keep right on doing what I’m doing and my readers keep right doing what they’re doing..." Then my prayers were *really* answered. Those being:

    For my friend Jim Wright, that he and his be kept from hurt or harm. For his boy, that he remain safe as he learns to drive [2]. For ShopKat and the other critters, watch over them in all ways.

    [1] Dollars to donuts--or snake oil to smoke oil--that's a SHE. Yeah, sometimes my gender embarrasses the shit outta me.

    [2] Can't get mad--you *asked* for those! I admit, I added the rest, though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  78. Hey Jim, when you're done with that bear-pokin' stick, mind if I use if for a while?

    ReplyDelete
  79. Kos over at dailykos.com turns his hate mail into a weekly column: Saturday Hate-Mail-a-Palooza.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I have (OK *had*) a long-time friend who happens to be passionately conservative and has the morals of slug (that’s really not being fair to the slimy little creatures), which is to say he’s a good, God-fearin’ Christian who never sets foot in church and purt much hates everyone and everything that doesn’t look like him or at least agree with him. He’s also about as bigoted as they come (which is saying quite a lot in this neck o’ the woods) and his fb posts sound very much like the responses you received to your last installment of Truth or Consequences.

    Well, shortly after Romney’s shellacking, he texted me to let me know how disappointed he was with me: “U r a hypocrite n pussy, u stabbed me in th back. U have no honor. I hope u r happy w yr socialist Obummer, cuz he will destroy the contry now. U can give up yr freedom if u want, just dont cram yr socialism down my throat, you asshole communist.” He went on in this delightfully cheerful vein for a while (these fellers do like the sound of their own voice, don't they?), but you get the idea. It was 10 a.m., so I presumed he had already knocked back a few beers, as is his wont. Naturally, I didn’t respond. The following day he opened a “chat” with me on fb and continued his diatribe, calling me a coward (presumably for not taking up his gentlemanly challenge to defend my un-American liberal commie political views). After spewing a good deal more venom and hate, he actually physically threatened me (what is this, 3rd grade?) and told me it was a good thing I lived so far away.

    Again, my better judgment prevailed and I opted not to respond. It is exactly as you say, Jim—that’s the very worst thing you can do to one of these dolts. It *really* pisses ’em off. The next day he “unfriended” me on fb. Well, I guess he showed *me*!

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    1. When I hear some things that some people say that does not make sense and then they REPEAT it, my response typically is: Do these people even LISTEN to themselves?

      Typically, tho, the answer appears to be "Uh... no."

      Delete
    2. I had some, um, "friends" like that. I figured they all had a bad case of mental dry heaves.

      Delete
  81. Sometimes I wonder what passes for mind. I've been listening, this morning, to rants about Agenda 21. A tape from Glenn Beck; another friend found it amusing and sent it along. It just leaves me...well. Almost speechless (enjoy it while it lasts).

    It's astounding. There are frightening things on the horizon, things that do matter....like climate change and fracking and tar sands pollution...and this man is ranting about Agenda 21? Of course, an agenda that promotes sustainability and equality is liable to get Beck's knickers in a twist, so I guess it shouldn't be a surpise.

    Some people will allow their paranoia to get the better of them, I guess.


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  82. Wow...and here I was thinking the "Squidbillies" were just hilarious cartoon characters on adult swim.
    Apparently, they are sentient 3 dimensional beings with internet access....and they read your blog! Lucky you...
    Given the number of responses you are having to weed out,they seem to have a lot of time on their hands..er.. tentacles...
    I guess they are not "jobulating" or "edumicating" enough.
    Too much familial "insimination"...





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  83. Lessee . .

    if President Obama won because of Hurricane Sandy,
    and Hurricane Sandy was an Act of God.
    then God wanted President Obama to be reelected.

    Simple as that.

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  84. Greg - ETC(SW) USN RetiredNovember 24, 2012 at 12:32 PM

    You hold up the mirror (via the blog) and they don't like the face that they find staring back at them. It seems to me that the closer to the mark the observation is the more it seems to piss them off. And the fact that they respond sort of completely underscores the point and they just don't seem to see that their response only adds exclamation marks to the original assertion. They just don't get it.

    As always, thanks for all you do.

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  85. Jim thanks for being motivated enough to do what you're doing. What a treat for me and I'm sure that's true for many others too. I love to bait the rubes too but I'm nowhere near your level of effectiveness. It's a sad truth that we will never run out of knuckleheads to provoke. Well done sir!

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  86. The atrocious grammar and misspelling.. icing on the putrid cake.

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  87. Insimilate: The act of "campaigning against members of your own party in order to replace them and thus solidify your dogmatic position because they allowed the opposition into a committee in order to better represent the voter's interests". Syn: Having sex with your sister.

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  88. Okay, I have to admit that those who said that conservatives don't read Stonekettle Station were wrong. Obviously what they should have said was "Conservatives will read Stonekettle Station. They just won't understand it." Precision can be so important.

    Thanks for being like Mark Twain and reminding us of the difference between "Lightning" and "Lightning-bug."

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  89. Dear Jim;

    I love that you are so good at redirecting the venom that these idiots project, and hate that you must endure it.

    Nolo Carborundum Illegitimatii

    SW WA Emigre

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  90. I'm SO glad we have you on our side (the sane side). And so very thankful that your delusions of becoming a full time writer seem to have turned into reality lately.

    Although with too many more nasty, vile comments like those, I'm a little bit afraid you might rethink the going off and conquering the universe idea.

    Thanks again, Mr Wright. Excellent.

    bd

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  91. I have been reading you for some time, never was one to comment on any blog. You say it as it is. Thank You

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  92. Very entertaining. My first time commenting after my cousin tipped me off to your site.

    So Romney won "all the white vote" did he? Last I heard something like 70% of the population is classified as "white". I think there is something wrong there. :-)

    I won't even comment on any of the rest of the rant, except the irony of the guy who can't spell accusing you of not being able to write. "Can't spell" I think is being kind.

    Dave

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  93. Jim, have you ever been contacted by any tv people? I know I would watch.

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  94. Hate to be a pain about grammar (yet again) but "4AM this morning" sounds like it came from the Department of Redundancy Department.

    Also, Nazis.

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  95. Hysterically funny, and yet sad at the same time. It is obvious the USA needs to spend more money on education. Unfortunately it appears too many taxpayer dollars are probably going to classes which teach Creationism. Sigh.

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  96. My GOD, is there not a single one of these right wing bozos who can write a proper sentence with correct wording, spelling and grammar? Anyone? Anyone?

    I suppose anyone who thinks as defectively as these folks do have no need for correct anything else.

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    1. Well, to be fair these are probably the "finest" examples of the drivel received. I'm wondering if there are any that really show signs of thought being put into them rather than knees jerking?

      Delete
  97. "whites come from all over the world in America and get married and insimilate"

    I think there is something very suspicious about whites who get married and insimilate - FBI should investigate


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  98. I'm certainly glad that the the " Irish and ggerman and Italians and Englishmen all came together in Ellis island and shared their culture and left behind their origins." If they had not left their origins behind, we might be subjected to un-American atrocities like Irish pubs and Italian restaurants, oh, and those wonderful sausages and the good beer and bubble&squeek and knishes...damn, now I'm hungry and thirsty! Bloody immigrants.
    :)

    Oh, and maybe Ellis Island is one big happily melted pot, but just a hop & a skip away in Brooklyn - let me tell you how 'insimilated' some of my Italian relatives were. (There's a reason I haven't been back in 4 decades)

    But then, "everything's made up and the points don't matter"
    Bruce

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    1. My grandparents came through Ellis Island back in the day, losing their surnames in the process. The name they received is a nice, Anglo-sounding name. Good enough that I can pass for WASP with ease. (It helped that my father, son of immigrant Jews, married a DAR.)

      As a further example of insimilation, I married a woman who's half Puerto Rican. So there you go, the pot is melting.

      Back to my point: we need MORE Ellis Islands, not less. We don't need fences to secure our borders; we need Welcome Centers.

      Yeah, that position makes us REAL popular down here in Nixon Country.

      Delete
  99. Here I am in the Moscow airport (no, the one in Russia) enjoying a coke, and I open your blog. Coke through my nose and all over my screen, and parents telling their children not to stare at the strange American.

    Thanks, I now have a 10 hour flight with coke in my sinuses, and if customs is reading this post, a very intimate search at JFK.

    Danny

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    1. Thanks for the image and belly laugh

      Delete
  100. About blocking IP addresses: not really an ideal thing to do, because ordinarily people don't have fixed IP addresses from which they write. If someone writes to you from IP addresses A.B.C.D, tomorrow A.B.C.D may be assigned to someone else's machine, while the writer will now be at E.F.G.H. Or A.B.C.D may be the address of some ISP gateway or proxy and be shared by thousands of people.

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    1. There's more to it, but you'll forgive me if I don't go into it. OPSEC, you know.

      Delete
  101. I live in a very white, semi-rural county in Florida whose citizens are a blend of Old White Retirees from up North and local home-grown crackers. I've stared the crazy right in the eye.

    Last Saturday, while waiting for my car at the car wash, I had to listen to the business owner and two regulars talk about the election results. I guess that even though I am a woman and they were men, the fact that we were all white made them feel comfortable enough to talk freely in front of me.

    Not all rednecks are ignorant racists, but these gentlemen definitely were. I had to listen to talk about how whites are a minority now, only 30% of the population! The country is overrun by "the coloreds"! Ammo is impossible to find just like after the FIRST time that "O'Bummer" got elected because whites must arm themselves for the coming race war! Whites are being oppressed! Okay, maybe not right now but At ANY MOMENT U GUYZ!1! "I've only got one AK-47, dammit. But I got plenty of huntin' rifles and handguns. My family ain't goin' down without a fight."

    It was So. Damn. Hard. to keep my mouth shut. But I know that mindset. There is NO changing it. It doesn't reason. It rages. And all it wants is a target. So I kept quiet.

    I've been using that particular car wash for about 20 years and it's the only full service car wash on this side of the county. Now I have to decide whether to keep giving it my business.

    side note: I would totally wear a t-shirt with a Perverse Irony Man graphic and logo on it.

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  102. This is SO sad, but truly represents what I hear even in California. I am now having a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

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  103. Thank you, Jim, for saying the things that need to be said to the bigoted, racist GOPers. A hurt dog sure will holler, and if the responses you received from them to your last post are any indication, you hit them where it hurts. Bulls eye!!

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  104. The first one is the best...my favorite: someone who calls you or the President both a socialist AND a Nazi in the same breath. Didn't do too well on that whole political philosophy section in school, did we? I'd laugh, except this kind of ignorance is becoming more and more prevalent. And there's no convincing these shitwads-for-brains...or even reasoning with them.

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  105. We have to hope that these people don't get really really good at stealing elections.

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  106. Holy Mackerel!! You mean I missed a whole blog post on manatees? What a Thanksgiving . . .

    Thanks for beating the bushes Jim. I know it's the fringe (actually no, I PRAY it's just the fringe), but it's frightening all the same. Again, thanks for taking the lead and the heat. This post was a true education.
    MTC

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