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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Where Was Jim This Weekend? Road Trip!

OK, we didn’t actually go to Mordor.

We went to Chena Hot Springs, about 60 miles or so northeast of Fairbanks.

It was sort of a spur of the moment thing.

What? I hear you say in that tsk tsk tone you reserve for when I’ve done something stupid. You drove nine hours to see some hot water, then turned around and drove nine hours home? Across the arctic tundra? Through a snow storm? At thirty below?

Are you mad?

Could be, Doc, could be.

For about as long as I can remember, my wife has wanted to see the Ice Museum at Chena. Every year we talk about going up there…and never do. Saturday we were discussing what we were going to do this weekend. I and my son had Monday off, my wife didn’t – but she does have a bunch of vacation time saved up.

Take Monday off and let’s go do something, I suggested.

Ice Museum? She said.

Why the hell not, I replied.

We packed the truck with survival equipment, a couple changes of clothes, our cameras, food for a couple of days – and got up early Sunday morning and took off, by the time the sun was up we were a third of the way to Nenana.

Chena Hot Springs 028

Road conditions were about what you’d expect in northern Alaska this time of year:Chena Hot Springs 029

It took us about seven hours to reach Fairbanks – note: this was a spur of the moment road trip, which is why I didn’t get a chance to meet up with any of the Fairbanks contingent of the Stonekettle Station Loyal Readers Association. Apologies, next time for sure.

We fueled up and headed north out of Fairbanks for Chena. Total time inside the Fairbanks city limits? Ten minutes.

Along the way we stopped in at Skunk Place Kennels, home to famous Alaskan sled dog mushers Aliy Zirkle and Alan Moore – who are wonderful people and our friends.

Chena Hot Springs 062

And finally, a couple hours after dark we arrived at Chena.

We didn’t know if they’d have a room (that was part of the adventure, no reservations, ass backward into the unknown – yes, that’s exactly how we travel. You don’t plan road trips). Turns out they did have plenty of rooms – and at half price to boot, January being the seriously off season.

We had a terrific dinner in the main lodge and then put on our arctic gear and took a guided tour of the Ice Museum.

It’s pretty, uh, cool.

Chena Hot Springs 122

The entire place (except for the roof) is carved from giant blocks of ice. Walls, bar, sculptures, chandeliers, furniture, guest rooms, everything. It’s lit with embedded colored lights like some kind of frozen fairyland.

It’s beautiful and well worth the drive.

We had an appletini at the bar, made with Russian vodka that was just this side of liquid nitrogen temperatures and served in a martini glass carved from ice - we ran into the ice sculptor at breakfast the next morning and I learned that those glasses are not cast, but are turned on a lathe.

Chena Hot Springs 108

I also learned that appletini’s are not my drink. Gah.

The caribou fur over the icy bar stool was pretty nice though.

The ice sculptures are amazing. No, really amazing. Seriously.

These jousting knights and their chargers are life-sized, exquisitely detailed, and made without any structural support other than the ice itself. It is an astounding sculpture.

Chena Hot Springs 126

A number of the men admired the artistic merits of this piece:

Chena Hot Springs 081

There were lots of amazing things including these ice globes:

Chena Hot Springs 132 Chena Hot Springs 127 Chena Hot Springs 128

Chena Hot Springs 129 Chena Hot Springs 130 Chena Hot Springs 131

Did you catch up above where I used the phrase guest rooms? Yes, you can spend the night in the Ice Museum, they have a number of nice accommodations:

Chena Hot Springs 097

For about $600 you can bundle up in your complimentary parka and roll up in caribou fur on a big damned block of ice that purports to be a bed. Each room comes fully equipped with modern facilities…

Chena Hot Springs 092

(…and you think your toilet seat is chilly in the middle of the night)

We took a pass on the whole spending the night in the ice hotel thing. I hurt bad enough in the morning without sleeping on a block of ice. They’d probably need the jaws-of-life to get me out of that bed in the morning. It’s been a number of years since I went through arctic survival school and I have no desire to do it again, sleeping on an ice cube at thirty below is more adventure than I need these days.

After the chill of the Ice Palace we spent the rest of the night soaking in the hot springs. And let me tell you something, if you’ve never sprinted barefoot across –20 cement, unclothed except for your bathing suit, on your way from the locker rooms to the hot springs, well you’re just plain missing out. And the trip back is even more exciting – let’s just say that your suit tends to freeze to parts of your anatomy that you’d rather it didn’t and leave it at that. OK? The hot spring was pretty damned nice though.

The next morning we got up early and ate breakfast at the lodge. It was just us and the ice sculptor in the whole place and we had an interesting conversation with her. Very nice lady. Very, very talented sculptor (her and her husband are permanent staff and are solely responsible for creating and maintaining the museum. They compete in ice carving contests the world over).

Then we hit the road and nine hours later we were home again. Along the way we saw some pretty neat stuff - like this, for example, just outside Denali National Park:

Chena Hot Springs 165

and of course, there was that aforementioned glimpse into Mordor…

All in all, a pretty damned fine road trip indeed.


Note: Chena Hot Springs is an interesting place and we wished we would have had more time there – next year we’re going back and spending a couple of days there. The owner has turned the place into a model of alternative and geothermal power generation. People come from all over the world to study the power systems and green houses and the place has been the subject of numerous TV specials. Google Chena Hot Springs or follow the link above to learn more.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Where Was Jim This Weekend?

We visited the back gate of Mordor.

image 

 

Just got home.  Very tired – fighting Orcs all weekend will take it out of you.

Need shower, food, bed – in that order.

My thoughts are with my friend Shawn Powers and his family – they lost their house to fire yesterday.

I’ll catch up more tomorrow.

Night.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Offline

Happy Martin Luther King day, folks.

I'll be offline for the rest of the weekend.

We're off to explore the interior of Alaska, back Monday night at the earliest.

What are you doing with your weekend?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Tonight’s Homework

Lets say you worked at this place for a long time and you really liked what you did and you were very good at it.

Then one day, the economy tanks and your employer lets you go – without much in the way of warning.

Your former employer owes you some retirement money/severance/residual benefit pay.

They send you a check, but due to some kind of accounting error there’s an extra $800.  It is very unlikely that they’ll ever catch this.  Times are tough, you could use the money – and again, it’s unlikely that anybody will ever notice. 

 

Question: Do you return the money, or do you keep it.

 

Show your work (i.e. explain your answer) – pretend that somebody who reads this blog is in this exact situation and is highly interested in your answer.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Every Country Has A Star Wars Christmas Special

I'm pretty sure this is why everybody hates the French. No, really.



Wilford Brimley and the Ewok Christmas Special is looking pretty damned good now, isn't it?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

You’ll Go Blind – Between The Lines At The Palin/O’Reilly Lovefest

Procedural Question.

Sarah Palin on Bill O’Reilly – technically isn’t that called “Masturbation?”

_________________________

Update:

I managed to find time today to watch Bill O’Reilly welcome Sarah Palin to FoxNews – and for a bunch of people who claim they don’t like porn, it was pretty much an hour of watching two crazy people teabag each other over and over.

I had kind of a Mystery Science 3000 thing going on in my head as I watched Palin speak.

Allow me to share the highlights with you:

 

O'REILLY: Isn't it true that no human being could lower the unemployment rate at this point? I mean, I don't like the massive spending. I think it's going to bankrupt the nation. But I…you know, I'm saying to myself, "If Sarah Palin and John McCain were in, could they bring unemployment down under 10 percent?" And I'm not sure you could.

PALIN: If the question is, “can any individual politician change the job forecast outlook?” No [but that doesn’t keep me from telling my legions of halfwit supporters that it’s still all Obama’s fault]. But what government can do is get out of the way of the private sector [For example, like how I as governor of Alaska got out of the way of Exxon. You know, by quitting. Lead by example, I always say] being able to seize opportunities to grow and to thrive and prosper [You know, prosper, like by having some sap ghostwrite my book and then making a couple of million dollars off of it] and hire more people [like the off-duty cops I hire to keep people I don’t like out of my book signings and speeches]. You do that…a politician, a policy does that by reducing taxes on the job creators [like how I campaigned for Alaskan governor by proposing a 20% tax increase on Big Oil], by getting government out of the way of the private sector [so they’ll be successful and profitable and make lots and lots of jobs, free of government interference and regulation - like Goldman-Sachs and Merrill-Lynch].

 

O'REILLY: Was it a lie that you thought Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11?

PALIN: You know what? [Fuck! Bring that up why don’t you, Asshole!] On that, I did talk a lot to Steve Schmidt about the history of the war and about where, perhaps, the 9/11 terrorists came from [Only I can’t remember anything that he said and I didn’t understand any of it anyway, so I spent a day reading conspiracy websites on my Blackberry] and could there have been any connection to Saddam [or space aliens].

 

O'REILLY: Steve Schmidt is obviously saying that you were in chaos preparing for this debate. Is that true?

PALIN: That…that’s not true [that’s impossible!]. And Steve Schmidt told us how overjoyed he was after the debate [compared to the Katie Couric interview or being doused in gasoline and lit on fire], so pleased with the way everything turned out [compared to the Katie Couric interview and being doused in gasoline and lit on fire], as he was after the convention [I hate him! Hate him! I will have my revenge in this life or the next! I…oh, shit, Bill’s asking another question, what?].

O'REILLY: Was there a time...

PALIN: ...as he was for…. [What? Concentrate, Sarahcudda, concentrate!]

O'REILLY: ...when you almost felt overwhelmed, though?

PALIN: No, I always felt pretty calm through the whole experience [because I was on Xanax up to my eyeballs].

O'REILLY: So is Schmidt lying or is somebody lying to him?

PALIN: [Duh] I think he's basing this on an anonymous source [and I’m going to find out who and then I’m going to have them doused in gasoline and lit on fire]. So all that kind of gossipy anonymous accusations, I really don't pay it any mind [like hell I don’t], because, again, Bill, I know what's important [oh yes, revenge will be sweet, yes yes my precious]. I know what the priorities are [Schmidt and his friends are on my list, right after that fucking Levi kid].

 

O'REILLY: Governor, the perception of you is that you're not that smart. That's what Saturday Night Live trafficked in, that's what the liberal media traffics in. You heard Chris Matthews go, "She doesn't know anything."... So I have to ask questions. Is, is that a lie? And, now, I think the proof is in the proverbial pudding, to use a cliché. You did very well against Biden in that debate, although you did call him O'Biden at one point.

PALIN: [Think, Sarah, think. Who the hell is O’Biden? Where have I heard that name before?  Pope of Russia? No? Irish Sweepstakes? Can I make a moose chili joke here?] I did. But I think the analysis after the debate was a surprise that Biden had more gaffes…had, had more mistakes made [which is, of course, why I actually won the election and I’m president right now. Yes. …Oh, wait…]

O'REILLY: Couric asked you an easy question and you booted it, governor.

PALIN: I sure did. [Ok, I’ll do the moose chili joke here then]

O'REILLY: Why did you boot it? I mean, if somebody asks what do you read? I say I read the, you know, New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post. I can reel them off in my sleep. You couldn't do it?

PALIN: Well, of course I could. Of course, I could. [Please, God, I’m begging you, don’t let Bill ask me what I read. Please please please. Moose chili, moose chili]

O'REILLY: Why didn't you?
PALIN: It's ridiculous to suggest that or to say that I couldn't tell people what I read [oh, wait…]. Because by that point already it was relatively early in that multi segmented interview with Katie Couric [because I wasn’t expecting such a tough question! It’s like Couric was just piling on at that point. I mean, “What do I read?” how could anybody answer a question like that? How? It was early in the interview and I wasn’t ready! Why didn’t she ask me an easy question like about abortion or that Constitution thing?], it was quite obvious that it was going to be a bit of an annoying interview with the badgering of the questions [yes, yes, annoying badgering. I mean, personal questions? In an interview?]...I think if most normal Americans [“normal” American = sucker] were put in the same position that I was there, they'd probably look at her and have that proverbial eye roll and say are you kidding me? [correction, normal American = illiterate dolt (apparently)]

O'REILLY: If they knew.

PALIN: Are you suggesting that I don't read? [Please, God, I’m begging you…moose chili moose chili]

PALIN: You know what I thought they were going to come after me for? Getting a "D" in a college course 22 years ago. That was the big controversy in my little world. That was the skeleton in my closet. Crap. Once the media finds that out [and finds that picture of me with the keg and the “Party Naked” T-shirt]…

O'REILLY: You're a populist.

PALIN: A populist, yes. [Populist, that means “Christian” right?]

O'REILLY: Do you know what they're calling you now?

PALIN: No. [Yes, but I don’t think I can say the c-word on TV]

O'REILLY: Evita.

PALIN: Well. [Who?]

O'REILLY: Eva Peron.

PALIN: Uh-huh. [Who?]

O'REILLY: That's who they're calling you now.

PALIN: [Who? Is that like Madonna?]

PALIN: After a year of getting clobbered by the media, capitalizing on people who will make things up [you know, like that Muslim illegal alien in the White House who pals around with terrorists. Yeah, I hate people like that], there does come a time in any mama's heart and gut where they're going to say no, no, no. You're picking on my kids. You're picking on my family [everybody! Hum The Star Spangled Banner]. I'm going to set the record straight. My guttural instinct kind is kind of like a mama grizzly bear. [Did I use the word guttural correctly in a sentence? Oh yes I did!]  You’re touching my cubs [Wait, did I just call myself a grizzly sow?] you're touching my kids [and if you touch my kids, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Bill - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?! Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!]

 

O'REILLY: Do you believe that you are smart enough, incisive enough, intellectual enough, to handle the most powerful job in the world?

PALIN: [Most powerful job in the world? Are they offering me Rush’s job?! Oooooo!] I believe that I am because I have common sense [It’s like a magical superpower, and as Ms Wasilla I’ll do my bestest ever to work towards World Peace]. And I have, I believe, the values that are reflective of so many other American values [such as a burning hatred of gays, illegal aliens, France, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Liberals, Democrats, Progressives, Moderates, Science, Nature, The Arts, The Environment, Those Fucking Polar Bears, Elites, The Poor, and Katie Couric]. And I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the kind of a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with some kind of elite Ivy League education [You know, I don’t know why we don’t just burn down Harvard and Yale and Princeton. Dartmouth? Cornell? Seriously, folks, real Americans drop out of school in the sixth grade because real Americans have Common Sense (it’s like a magical superpower). If an American must go to college, they should go to a community college only, because otherwise they’re elites and that’s just fascist communism!]  and a fact resume that's based on anything but hard work and private sector, free enterprise principles [and only people with an actual sixth grade education could actually make sense of the incoherent babbling bullshit that’s coming out of my mouth right now]. Americans could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership [and by change I mean like Bush, only more so]. I'm not saying that has to be me [but then I shouldn’t have to, should I?].

 


No, to answer your question. 

No, I will not stop until I too am put on the official Sarah Palin Banned Blogger List.

It’s important to have realistic goals, folks.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I feel like I need to wash my hands.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Silvan Zingg

 

Michael Jackson and his moonwalk got nothing on these two.

 

That was from the Silvan Zingg International Boogie Woogie Festival.

 

My mom sent me this, along with a note saying that my dad used to dance like this.

I, apparently, did not inherit this particular gene.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I'd Hoped For More Time

How long could you survive after punching a bear in the balls?

Created by Oatmeal

Winter Storm

Folks, I’m probably going to be scarce on the Internets today.

We’re in the middle of a winter wind storm at the moment and my power and internet connections are very spotty, this has been going on for two days and will probably last at least another day or two.

It’s 17F outside and the wind chill factor is really not something you want to experience right now. Trust me.

According to my windbird the winds are at 52MPH sustained here over the house at the moment, with gusts to 75 and last night we had sustained gusts over 80.

I live in a notch above the MatSu Valley, at the end of the Knik Arm (a long narrow bay off the Cook Inlet) directly between the Chugach and Alaskan Mountain Ranges, and the winds are concentrated into a corridor here. The view is spectacular, but we always get much stronger winds here than in Anchorage or even a few miles to either side of us up and down the valley.  Last night it felt like the house was going to come apart.  I’ve got drifts in the driveway chest high, and packed solid as granite and as soon as there’s enough light to see by I’ll be out clearing that so we can get out.  I’ve got a couple trees down, but I don’t think I need to deal with those at the moment.

For those of you waiting for PayPal invoices.  I’ll try to get those out sometime today.  I tried to do it yesterday, by my internet connection was down. 

It’s Alaska, this kind of thing is part of the charm.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Birdhouses

The following folks are confirmed for birdhouses:

Cass_m: #28

Stuart Wheaton: #29

Lauren Uroff: #30 and #34

Folks email me at Stonekettlestation@gmail.com with the email address you want me to use. I will send you a paypal enabled invoice. Your birdhouses will ship Monday via priority mail.

A number are still available, go here if you’re interested.

A number of you asked about less expensive/less elaborate pieces. I’ll be making a few of those in the coming weeks.

Thanks.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Underwear Bombers, Terrorism, The TSA, and Profiling Fear

A couple of years before the horrific events of 9/11 I flew through Boston’s Logan International Airport.

I suppose I need to qualify that.

I flew through Logan a lot in those days.  Several dozen times in the years immediately prior to 9/11.

The security there was a joke – and a bad joke at that.

Nothing about Logan’s security force was professional, from the demeanor of the slovenly personnel, to the half-assed screening procedures, to the outdated and poorly maintained equipment, nothing.  As an experienced military intelligence officer with extensive security and counter terrorism training, believe me when I say I was astounded by just how lousy the security system at Logan International was in those days. 

Once when I was passing through Logan on my way to a Naval facility in Maine, I requested that my camera bag be searched manually – I was carrying a couple of wetfilm cameras and some special film and I didn’t want them run through the X-ray machine.  The women behind the counter looked at me like I’d sprouted horns.  Her face and arms were covered in gang tattoos and for a minute there I thought she was going to put a cap in my ass for having the temerity to interrupt the conversation she was having with a co-“worker.”  She looked at me, looked at the camera bag and dismissively told me to “just go on through” and pointed vaguely towards the metal detector. 

So I did.

The guy running the detector shrugged at the whole thing and waved me through despite the bingbingbing of the machine that he was more or less operating.  Mostly less.

But then, as I started to walk away towards my gate, the metal detector guy called me back and said to another fellow, who I assumed was the watch supervisor, “shouldn’t somebody look in his bag?” The watch supervisor looked at my camera bag and then said, “just run it through the scanner.”  So I explained the situation and again asked that it be visually inspected.  The supervisor shrugged disinterestedly and told yet another young woman, who was also covered in gang tattoos, to inspect my bag.

I hefted the camera bag up on a table and unzipped the top.   Inside were several 35mm wet film camera bodies, each in a separate padded slot, and a dozen lens.  The girl, obviously irritated at being tasked to do her job instead of being left to buff her nails, pawed through the case without actually looking at anything and then snatched up a camera body and put it to her eye as if she was looking through the viewfinder – to, I assumed, verify that it was indeed a camera and not a cleverly disguised block of heroin.

“It’s fine,” she snapped at the supervisor, then she literally threw the camera body back in the bag and waved me away from the table.

Here’s the thing.  That particular camera body was a Pentax MX manual SLR, and because there was no lens attached I had a black plastic cap over the lens-mount to protect the mirror. There was absolutely no way that young woman could have seen anything through the viewfinder. And in fact, she didn’t actually look through the viewfinder at all – as I watched incredulously, she held the camera upside down and “looked” into the leather cover’s snap fitting.

I pointed this out to the supervisor.  He angrily told me to move the fuck along.

You know, you really don’t have to be an intelligence officer to figure out that not one of those people had a damned clue as to what they were doing.

So, a year later when it was determined that two of the hijacked 9/11 flights originated from Logan, well let’s just say that I wasn’t even remotely surprised.

 

 

In the aftermath of 9/11 those same people, those grossly incompetent security personnel, those exact people who had let Mohammed Atta and his murderous brothers through security without a backward glance, were deputized and turned into a federal police force with almost unlimited power over the travelling public, in the air, on the rails and roads, and on the sea.

In retrospect, that was probably a good thing.

Yes, I said it.  Bear with me a minute.

It’s taken nearly a decade to shake out, but

- The kind of abject outright incompetence I witnessed at Logan (and many other airports throughout the US) all through the decade preceding 9/11 is gone.  The Transportation Security Administration mandates extensive training for all of its officers with continued refresher training.  There are exams and qualifications and uniform standards.  Now, like in any other organization, some of those officers are better at it than others, but at least they all get rigorous and standardized training and there are minimum levels of competency that must be adhered to. 

- There are damned few security screeners nowadays with a lackadaisical attitude, most take their jobs deadly serious – as they should. Most are reasonably professional – at least to the level of standard law enforcement. 

- TSA has improved to the point where they can attract and retain decent personnel. In the past, in many cases, airport screeners were professionally equivalent to grocery baggers at worst and maybe Mall Police at best – with the equivalent pay and benefits.   You get what you pay for.  I didn’t say it is great, but it’s a damned sight better than it was.

- The lack of security standardization  from one airport to another is also gone.  The same standards are applied to small regional airfields as they are to the giant international airports. This was long overdue well before 9/11.  An Airbus A380 originating from Pensacola Regional poses exactly the same threat as one originating from Chicago’s O’Hare International.  All of those small regional airports, along with obscenely ineffective larger airports such as Logan,  provided weakly guarded access into the transportation system, effectively nullifying more competent and stringent security procedures elsewhere. The chain, as they say, is only as strong as its weakest link.  Instead of looking at the air transportation system as a bunch of separate entities, the advent of nationalized security shifted the paradigm so that the whole thing was regarded as a single worldwide system. One with many entrances and exits and moving parts to be sure, but as a single unified whole – from a security viewpoint this is the same as going from allowing each user to determine whether they will have virus scanning on their office computer to an overall network administrator establishing uniform layered protection for all systems in the network.  There used to be a lot of weak links - most if not all of them have been significantly reinforced. 

- There is now federal funding for advanced security systems and equipment – and standards for updating, maintaining, and operating that technology.  There is federal funding and mandated research into security technologies and procedures.  It is a priority. This too is a marked improvement and it benefits every airport in the US and overseas, instead of just the ones that can afford it or the ones who actually pay attention to the latest updates. 

- It beats the ever living hell out of having armed and uniformed military personnel securing the nation’s airports. If I never see squads of Marines in full combat gear, locked and loaded and manning turret mounted M-60’s on top of their Humvees in sandbagged revetments in front of the San Diego airport again it will be too goddamned soon.

What’s this? Jim Wright trumpeting the TSA? Jim Wright? No way, man, no way!

Yes way, man. I am.

Because it would be disingenuous to say that TSA has not significantly improved the safety of US Air travel when it comes to general security and terrorism (both domestic and foreign).  So, yes, overall I have to say that the previous administration’s nationalization of air travel security has been a good thing and something that was long overdue (this does not however mitigate my loathing of George W. Bush and his band of Crazies in any way. So, you can stop screaming now and resume regular respiration).  Could it have been done differently? Say by setting and enforcing national standards and leaving the individual security organizations in private hands? Could it have been done without compromising Americans’ rights and the Constitution? Possibly, and possibly not.  This is how it was done, it’s water under the bridge now and it’s patently obvious that the TSA or another organization just like it is necessary if we’re going avoid having our airliners turned into weapons of mass murder by crazy people.

Understand something here, I’m not saying there isn’t room for significant improvement, especially in the areas of constitutional rights, privacy, and strict limits to the scope of the TSA’s authority.  I do not agree in any way shape or form with the current implementation of things like the so called “no-fly list” for example.  I think a no-fly list is an absolute necessity, but it needs to be strictly limited. There must be clearly defined public criteria as defined by regulation and law for placing someone on that list, there must be strict compliance with habeas corpus requirements, and there must be an appeals process and a process for petitioning the state to have your name removed in a prompt manner.  The must be a better method for differentiating between people with similar names.  The must be some common sense, when the list prevents a five month old baby from getting on a plane, well, there needs to be somebody with enough brains and local authority in the loop to determine that these are not, in fact, the droids we’re looking for.  As an American, you have a right to know if your name is on that list, you have a right to know why, you have the right to confront the people who put you on it - in court, and you have the right to appeal that action without harassment or retribution. Period. Anything else is an unconstitutional assumption of guilt without trial.  I think Americans have the right and the duty to question TSA authority in a non-emergency situation without fear of being arrested and imprisoned and tasered.  I think that Americans and those non-Americans who are our guests in this country have a right to, and a reasonable expectation of, courtesy and respect from law enforcement and shouldn’t have to fear the TSA more than they fear the damned terrorists. Also understand that I am only talking about the TSA here, not the larger apparatus of its parent, the Department of Homeland Security – that’s a whole other issue altogether and one that I think requires extensive review, scrutiny, revision, and accountability to the citizens, sooner rather than later.

What brings this up?

Over on the Cafferty File, CNN’s Jack Cafferty asks his readers, “Is it time to start profiling?”  Jack wants to know, in the wake of the most recent attempted airline attack by the so-called Nigerian “underwear bomber” who tried to blow up a Northwest flight into Detroit on Christmas Day, if it’s time to actively and aggressively begin ethnic profiling of the travelling public.  Cafferty is a conservative pundit, a paleoconservative so far as I can tell (the traditional kind of conservative, before the neocons) the kind of conservative I tend to respect. I usually find Cafferty’s comment to be intelligent and even keeled and reasonable.

His commenters are often much less sane.

Overwhelmingly his commenters say yes, let’s start profiling people right the hell now.

- Jack, it's a shame that "political correctness" supercedes [sic] life & death in America. Sorry, but security comes before someone's "feelings". We need to tell the pc crowd to shut the hell up and let us handle it from here. We've done it their way for 25 years now, and all we've gotten in return is death, destruction, and the loss of our holidays and traditions. It's not only time we racially profile, it should be mandatory at all levels of security – from schools, to police, to airlines and everything in between [Todd, Ohio]

- Political correctness has got to go!! With profiling, if we reduce a tenth of all deadly attacks, then we have made a difference. In light of recent events, it doesnt [sic]look like we are doing very well as is, so I think it is time for a different approach! [jeff]

- it's been time to profile since sept 12th, 2001! our continued misguided sense of morality will continue to cost american [sic] lives. [kevin p – kansas city mo]

- Absolutely! I want to feel secure when flying. I couldn't care less about being PC. [Matt]

This one is my favorite:

- Yes. it is time to start profiling. It is also time to replace TSA with Military Police, who face court-martial if they screw up, as at Newark. Letting someone in through the exit at Newark would hve meant 10 years in a military prison and a dsihonorable discvharge [sic] for whoever let him therough,[sic] not reassisnment [sic] at Newark Airport. In France the Gendarmerie Mobile and in Germany the Grenzeschuetze provide security [Bob]

There  are hundreds of comments, not all are for profiling, not all are insane, but the vast majority sure are.  They’re scared shitless and they demand action now. Whatever it takes. Not one more American life. Damn the cost.  Damn the Constitution. Damn the consequences. And Goddamn political correctness. We must be safe! For the children!

 

Let’s review, shall we?

Since 9/11 how many American air travelers have been killed by terrorist action?  How many maimed? How many airliners have been flown into buildings? Blown up? Hijacked?

Did you answer zero?

Good.

Because zero is the correct answer.

 

Since 9/11 there have been roughly twenty five attempted acts of terrorism on US soil or against its domestic civilian aircraft, or against aircraft travelling to the US. Here’s some highlights:

- December, 2001: Richard Reid, the Shoe Bomber.   Had explosives in his shoes, strong enough to damage the plane but probably not enough to bring it down.  Caught trying to light the fuses with a match.  Had the snot beat out of him by fellow passengers.  He’s now in prison for life.

- May, 2002: Jose Padilla, the Dirty Bomber.  Never actually built a bomb. Arrested. Appealed his arrest and detainment to the US Supreme Court for violations of his habeas corpus rights, won his case, was rearrested – this time in accordance with proper US law – tried, convicted, and is currently being gang raped in prison.

- September, 2002: The Lackawanna Six.  Arrested, tried, convicted, now serving time in federal prison.

- May, 2003: Iyman Faris. Convicted of plotting to bring down the Brooklyn Bridge with a blow torch.  Currently serving 20 years in NY State prison.

- June 2003: the Virginia Jihad Network. Eleven men were arrested for trying to sell weapons to Al Qaeda.  The leader got life in prison, the rest got long, long prison sentences.

- August, 2004: Dhiren Barot. Wanted to blow up the NYSE. Convicted in England and sentenced to 40 years.

- August, 2004: James Elshafay and Shahawar Siraj.  Caught plotting to blow up a NYC subway station by Madison Square Garden.  Elshafay ratted out his partner, he got five years, Siraj got thirty.

- August, 2004: Yassin Aref and Mohammed Hossain.  Tried to buy a grenade launcher to kill a Pakistani diplomat in New York. They’re both in prison

- June 2005: Umer and Hamid Hayat.  Hamid went to a terrorist summer camp in Pakistan, his dad, Umer, lied about it to the FBI. Hamid is spending the next 24 years in prison, his dad eventually pled guilty to lying and trying to smuggled $28K to terrorists. I don’t know what his sentence was and don’t really care.

- August, 2005: Levar Haley Washington and friends.  Conspired to attack a National Guard facility, Los Angeles synagogues, and some other targets in Orange County, California.  They are all in jail awaiting trial.

- December, 2005: Mike Reynolds.  Plotted to blow up a Wyoming Natural Gas refinery, a pipeline, and a New Jersey oil facility.  Tried to tell police he was really working as an undercover private citizen to root out terrorism in the US.  He’s now in Federal prison, and will be for the next 30 years.

- February, 2006: Mohammand Zaki Amawi and Co.  Caught and convicted of conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists and plotting to kill “people in the Middle East.”  They are in jail all awaiting trial.

- April, 2006: Syed Haris and Ehsanul Islam Sadequee. They’ve been indicted for conspiracy to provide support to terrorists by videotaping the US Capital Building and World Bank HQ and sending the tape to a London Extremist group.  Awaiting trial.

- June 2006: Narsearl Batiste and six idiot friends.  They plotted (with the FBI as it turns out) to blow up the Sears Tower. They are awaiting trial.

- July, 2006: Assem Hammond.  Thought about bombing the NYC subway. Talked about it on the Internet.  Should probably have just stuck to porn. Caught, pled guilty. In Jail in Lebanon.

- August, 2006: Liquid Explosive Plot.  British counter-terrorism forces stop a plot to put liquid explosives on planes bound for the US. 24 people were arrested, 15 were charged with terrorism and are awaiting trial in London.

- May, 2007: Fort Dix Plot.  Six idiots plotted to attack US Army soldiers on Fort Dix. Charged with conspiracy, they are awaiting trial.

- June 2007: JFK Plot. Four men plotted to blow up a jet fuel pipeline that provided fuel to JFK International Airport. Three of them were caught and are awaiting trial, the forth man got away.

- March, 2007: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.  Caught. Mastermind behind a number of terrorist plots.  Awaiting trial.

- November, 2009: US Army Major Hasan goes on a rampage at Fort Hood, Texas. You all know what happened.

- December 2009, The Underwear Bomber.

Out of the last nine years, of all the attempted terrorist attacks, only three involved airliners, and only two managed to get to the final stage, and of those two, neither achieved their goals specifically because the limitations on the explosive devices they were forced to use by the security measures made success very unlikely.  They couldn’t carry proper explosives. They couldn’t carry real detonators. They were very, very limited in their capability. These people aren’t magicians or demons or imbued with superpowers that defy the laws of physics. Overall, in almost every single case of terrorism on US soil for the last nine years, the terrorists avoided attacking airplanes because those targets were just too damned difficult within modern post-9/11 security procedures.

None of the three terrorist plots against US airliners succeeded in killing a single American citizen. None. 

Not one.

And yet overwhelmingly, commenters on Cafferty’s blog and other sites, letters to the editor, media and pundits deplore how political correctness keeps downing airplanes and killing our people.  The facts simply don’t back that up.  Zero planes under the cognizance of the TSA have been taken down by terrorists, zero passengers on any American plane have died or been injured or even significantly inconvenienced by terrorists since the TSA took over following 9/11.

In fact, the only terrorist to succeed in killing Americans on American soil in the last nine years was US Army Major Malik Nidal Hasan – and that had absolutely nothing to do with air travel, airplanes, or underwear bombs.  And none of the proposed screening or profiling the pundits and commenters are clamoring for would have done a damned thing to prevent Hasan’s rampage. The failures in Hasan’s case are of an entirely different matter.

However, conservatives on Cafferty’s blog and across the nation are screaming that we must do more to protect American lives when it comes to air travel.   We must profile. We must perform full body scans of everybody getting on a plane. No American life, not even one, must be lost to the terrorists.

Not even one.

According to these people the American air travel system is broken and getting worse.  It’s dangerous.  Our president doesn’t take security seriously and he’s getting us killed! (really, go read the comments, listen to Rush, listen to Glenn, listen to Fox).

Very well, let’s look at a few more numbers then, shall we?

Between 2001 and the end of 2009 there were 302,626 traffic fatalities in the United States. That’s an average of about 30,000 a year or about ten times the number who were killed on 9/11 by terrorism.  Or to put it another way, car crashes are about 30,000 times more deadly annually than terrorism in the United States. 30,000 times.

Between 2001 and 2006, 181,110 Americans were killed by guns. One hundred and eighty one thousand, one hundred and ten. That’s an average of 30,185 deaths per year from firearms. Making gun related deaths in the United States roughly 30,000 times more deadly, per anum, than all of the terrorist acts against Americans on American soil or American airplanes for the last nine years combined. 30,000 times more deadly. 30 thousand times. That’s right, it’s a whole lot more likely that you’ll get killed by your drunken beer buddy while deer hunting than by a terrorist with Jihad in his underpants.

Now, before anybody gets their Charlton Heston Underoos all bunched up – yes, there are statistical weighting factors that should be considered when making such comparisons, such as how many drivers caused their own deaths by being drunk or stupid, how many firearm related deaths were deliberately self inflicted, and so on. Massage the numbers however you like – 60,000 Americans die every year from two forms of common and pervasive preventable violence.  For the last nine years, zero Americans have died on airplanes from terrorism.  Why are the lives of Americans lost to car accidents and guns any less important to conservatives than the ones who haven’t died on airplanes? Based on the same reasoning displayed on Cafferty’s blog, shouldn’t we profile drivers?  I’m all for keeping drunk, stoned, distracted, tired, stupid, ignorant, incompetent and rednecked drivers off the roads. Ditto times ten for the ownership of firearms. If one American life is worth ethnic profiling, strip searches (virtual or otherwise), pervasive monitoring, onerous regulation and procedure, loss of rights and freedom when it comes to air travel, why isn’t it for those things that are nearly 30,000 times more likely to kill Americans each and every year?

I mean, hell, these people are afraid to get on an airplane because zero people have died in the last nine years from terrorism (on airplanes), but they’ve got no trouble driving down the highway with a bunch of drunken goobers shooting at road signs?

Yeah.

Forgive me if I don’t pick up a bible and AR-15 and join the screechy monkeys demanding that TSA do something right now to increase airline safety! Right now! Safety! Terrorists!

Here’s the thing folks, racial, ethnic, religious, and political profiling won’t work.

Not here, not now.

Here’s why:

- The TSA, no matter what strides they’ve made in increasing the quality of their personnel, are not equipped to conduct “profiling” properly or effectively.  The TSA screeners are not FBI agents or CIA interrogators. Their education level isn’t particularly high on average.  Screeners, in general, do not have degrees or higher education in law enforcement or psychology. To learn proper profiling would require extensive education, training, experience, time, and money. And nobody is willing to pony up those things.

- The Israeli model.  No. Israeli security measures will not work for us. Not on the scale we need. Not without a tremendous overhaul of the entire American system (and it wouldn’t have stopped the Underwear Bomber anyway, since his flight didn’t originate in an American airport).  Note the previous paragraph, Israeli agents are far more highly educated and trained than TSA security screeners. Significantly more. They are also a much, much smaller force with a much, much smaller area of responsibility.   Holding up Israel as an example of the effectiveness of ethnic profiling is a logical fallacy on a number of levels. First because Israel doesn’t do ethnic profiling – their agents screen everybody and they aren’t “profiling” in the manner that Americans think of it. Israeli security agents are looking for a number of physical, verbal, and non-verbal cues the way a professional cardsharp watches the guy across the table for tells. And second, holding up Israel as an example of what we should do security wise is no different than holding up Canada or Belize as an example – nobody bombs their airplanes either.  Those who want us to impose Israel-like security measures here have no idea what they’re asking for, the cost alone would be staggering on the scale necessary here in America – hell more people go through Chicago’s O’hare in any one day than all the people who go through every airport in Israel in a month, now multiply that times, well, America. You can’t afford it. Not even close.  Now try to imagine the wait times…you’ll have to show up for your flights days early.

- Ethnic profiling is un-American. Yes it is and it’s got nothing to do with political correctness.  We are all equal in America.  Those calling for only the profiling of non-Caucasians are demanding that the minority bear the burden of keeping the Caucasian majority  happy – not safer, just less nervous about flying with people who aren’t white.  We’ve been fighting against that bullshit for how many damned years now? But, of course those demanding the implementation of ethnic profiling are really talking about only singling out people who “look” like terrorists, i.e. Arabs.   How long do you think it will be until blacks, Latinos, and other darker skinned minorities start looking suspiciously like they might be from Pakistan or Saudi Arabia?  I once had a friend, a shipmate, who was Puerto Rican – born in New York, spoke English with a Harlem accent, educated, Navy man on active duty – arrested in Texas, detained, and despite his military and state IDs was processed for deportation “back” to Mexico because he couldn’t produce a green card (neither can I, but that’s irrelevant, I’m white).  And it would have happened too, if the Navy didn’t step in and rescue him from the profiling clutches of Immigration.  Those demanding racial and ethnic profiling can’t imagine it happening to them, but let it happen even once and you’ll hear some howls of outrage. You better believe it.

- And profiling will become racist in the United States, don’t think for one moment that it won’t.  There are plenty of bigots who will use racial profiling as an excuse. Don’t believe me? Ask any person of color who lives in New York.

- And profiling will become a racially divisive issue. Yes it will. Because it’s America and race is a damned volatile issue here, unlike elsewhere. We’ve got a lot of baggage when it comes to race in America and implementing security screening for certain people because they aren’t white is not going to fly – and it shouldn’t. Call it political correctness if you like, but the truth of the matter is that people who think racially profiling others but not themselves are full of it. Perception is nine tenths of politics, don’t think people won’t seize on the issue to score political points and enrage others?  Don’t think it won’t happen? Two words: Death Panels.  It doesn’t have to be true to drastically influence the population and the government. 

- Profiling only those who “look” like terrorists, blinds you to those that don’t.   Which is why the Israelis don’t do it. What does a Muslim terrorist look like?  Does he look like a kid born and raised to white parents in California? Does he look just like John Walker Lindh? Does he wear an American Army uniform?  Would all of you Patriots stand to see to those in the military uniform of this country pulled out and strip searched because they happen to have olive colored skin?   How about Jesus? He was from the Middle East, wasn’t he? Or was he the only non-Roman Caucasian born in the holy land two thousand years ago?

- This will become a divisive issue. It is inevitable in the United States. And it will distract us from other methods that are more suitable to us and our nation. It will pull resources away that could be better used elsewhere. It will deepen the divide between white and non-white Americans.  It will distract us from the real issues, and the real enemies.

And

- Finally, for the last nine years the total number of Americans killed on American airplanes due to terrorism has been zero, now pay close attention here, no matter what security procedures are put in place, you cannot make American deaths due to terrorism on airplanes less than zero.  It is not possible.  You cannot bring those who died on September 11th, 2001 back to life, no matter how how hard you try.  Even if you are Jesus.

Now, understand something here – I am not advocating complacency. Far from it.  But security is a business best left to professionals and not the mob - and sure as hell not ignorant dipshits like that guy on Cafferty’s blog who wanted airport security taken over by the military. Security is something that is best implemented after study and investigation and deliberation by those who know what they are doing, and not something you do because you’re afraid and pissing your pants over imagined bogymen.  Security is best based on facts and solid information, and not made up anecdotes and urban legends and sound bites. 

I believe that profiling, the comprehensive kind used by FBI and CIA profilers, does have a place in airport screening.  I believe that advanced technology up to and including full body scans and backscatter X-rays have a place in airport security.  I believe that increased training and professional standards for security personnel are a desirable goal.  And I believe non-technological and old fashioned police work have a place.  And I believe all of those things are working, now.

The proof? Well, I’ve already given you that. Count the number of American dead from terrorism since 9/11. The proof is in the math, not in the hysteria.

The key, folks, is vigilance, perseverance, innovation, dedication, professionalism, and more than anything remembering who we are and what we stand for.

The key, is to not be afraid.

Latest From the Shop, More Turned Birdhouses

For various reasons I haven’t had much time in the woodshop this last month.

But I did find time to turn a few bowls and a number of birdhouses.

Not as many as I would have liked, but a few.

These are a little different from the last batch.  I got in a shipment of exotic woods that I felt would make unique and interesting accents. Also, I managed to procure the only three remaining bottles of friction polish in Alaska last month (a shellac/hard wax finish, that is extremely flammable in liquid form and therefore rarely shipped to Alaska because it has to come via ocean in a HAZMAT container, making it very expensive) and that was the perfect finish for some of the accent pieces. So I did some experimenting…and I’m quite happy with the results.  The birdhouses with the glossy finish are done in the friction polish, the rest are finished in orange or walnut oil and beeswax.

Note: Astute readers will notice that most of these houses do not, in fact, have perches.  That’s because a bunch of bird people yelled at me about the perches on my previous birdhouses (I was going to say they got their feathers ruffled, but that just seemed liked a cheap pun so I didn’t say it.  You’re welcome) – apparently the prevailing opinion is that wild birds in general don’t need perches, and that predator birds use the perches as a forward attack base to loot the nest (eating the eggs and/or young chicks).  So I left the perches off most of this batch. 

A number of these are for sale.  They’re marked along with price (Note: these are a bit more expensive than the last batch because of the time and effort involved in their creation and because of the cost of materials).  As always, if you’d like one, so note in the comments. Indicate which one you want by NUMBER. First to comment gets the piece.  I will make updates to the post indicating who gets what.  PayPal is the preferred method of payment. (Please do NOT attempt to transfer funds until you receive a confirmation email from me. Really).

Shipping and Handling is $10 for all pieces.

 

You can click on each picture to embiggen it.

 

#24  American Walnut and Rosewood. (Sold)

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#25  American Walnut, Orange Agate, and Tigerwood (Sold)

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#26 American Walnut, Rosewood and Orange Agate (Sold)

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# 27  American Walnut, Orange Agate and Birch (Available $70)

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#28 American Walnut, Alaskan Birch Heartwood, Orange Agate (Sold $70)

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#29 American Walnut, Tulipwood, and Brazilwood (Sold $60)

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#30 Alaskan Birch, Tigerwood, Cocobolo (Sold $60)

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#31 Birdseye Maple, Brazilwood, Cocobolo (Available $70)

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#32 Black Walnut (half sapwood, half heartwood), Brazilwood, Orange Agate (Available $60)

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#33 American Red Oak, Alaskan Birch, Black Walnut (Available $60)

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These last three, #34-#36 are larger and heavier than the previous pieces.  They are made from Black Locust and I am particularly happy with how these came out.  You can click on each picture for a high resolution enlargement, depending on your bandwidth they made take a minute to load.

 

#34 Black Locust, Tigerwood, Cocobolo (Sold $80)

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#35 Black Locust, Tigerwood, Cocobolo (Available $80)

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#36 Black Locust, Brazilian Rosewood (Available $80)

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I am, of course, making more.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Politically Incorrect

 

"I believe what you have is a group of people centered in the Justice Department and the Attorney General, whose law firms all gave pro bono support to terrorism.  They start every day with a presumption that the rights of terrorists are more important than the lives of Americans."

So said Newt Gingrich to Bill O’Reilly on Fox News last night.

Yes, that’s right, New Gingrich, on national television, just accused Attorney General Eric Holder and the senior members of the DOJ of treason.

Treason, that’s what you call it when members of the government give aid and comfort to the enemy.

And that’s what Gingrich says the Department of Justice is doing, giving free and willing support to terrorism (actually, if the government gives aid and comfort to the enemy it would be state sponsored terrorism as defined by international agreement [or Support for Freedom Fighters if done by a Republican Administration through the CIA without the concurrence of Congress, but I digress] and not technically treason, but for the sake of simplicity and so as not to confuse the NeoCons in the room we’ll just call it treason. K?).

Gingrich dragged out the NeoCon hobbyhorse and saddled up in leather chaps and spurs:

"Today, because our elites fear politically incorrect honesty, they believe that it is better to harass the innocent, delay the harmless, and risk the lives of every American than to do the obvious, the effective, and the necessary."

You got to hand it to him, in one sentence he managed to invoke two of the conservatives’ biggest and most fearsome bogymen, the terrifying soul stealing liberal elites before which all right and true patriots must quail, and the inky black legion of political correctness which has been the cause of every terrorist attack, hijack, intelligence lack, economic downturn,  lost dog, lost election, and erectile dysfunction since the Revolution.

Gingrich didn’t say what he really meant, of course, he didn’t out and out use the word treason, but his implication was obvious and as clear as if he’d shouted it straight into Bill O’Reilly’s pasty face.  O’Reilly, of course, was delighted and swallowed Gingrich’s completely unsubstantiated and unsupported statements like a milksnake swallowing a corpulent shithouse rat, jaws extended, eyes bulging, muscles straining to gulp down a furry chittering load of pestilence bigger than its head.  FoxNews viewers virtually swooned and eagerly attacked the bones of this noxious feast when O’Reilly regurgitated them up moments later.

Treason.

Seriously.

You know, I laugh when the Birthers and the Truthers and the Teabaggers and the other goofy bastards make such claims.  It’s funny. It’s like watching a cat with a piece of tape stuck on its paw, confused cross-eyed expression, increasing panic, random Brownian movements, spastic gyrations, finally exhausted collapse…followed by a half hour of licking its own asshole.  Really, who doesn’t enjoy watching that?  I’m less amused when clueless idiots like Chuck Norris wade into the fray – why would anybody take Norris any more seriously than any other entertainer?  Sure he can karate chop a cement block with his forehead – and in fact might have done that just once too often – but politically Norris has less going on than that guy who used to play Gopher on the Love Boat.  I’m even less amused when demagogues like Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh parrot this garbage, but in those cases my contempt is mostly confined to the same level of irritation I have for any obnoxious blowhard – seriously, both of these guys remind me of that loud drunk who decorates the end of every dive bar and who you’ll inevitably find later, face down in a congealed puddle of their own puke, on the dirty urine crusted floor of a men’s room stall. 

But it really chaps my ass when this kind of ridiculous bullshit comes from somebody who ought to know better.

I’m about fed up with this ignorant childish nonsense, this pandering to the lowest common denominator, the rabble rousing rhetoric.  It’s never enough to say, “I don’t agree with my opposition,” or “I would have done something different.” No, the Conservatives in this country can only seem to resort to this kind of ridiculous hyperbole – and hyperbole it is and nothing more.  No one, not even the most fervent Teabagger, actually believes in their heart of hearts that Eric Holder or Barack Obama get up every morning and eat their Fascist-O’s with a cup of low-fat milk from Marxist cows and a sprinkling of Cuban sugar, and puts on their Evil Overlord Helmet and gleefully cozies up to terrorists over the rights of the American people. 

Make no mistake, Newt Gingrich isn’t stupid.  He’s a damned intelligent guy actually. While a porch-light crazy moonbat such as Orly Taitz might actually believe the garbage that spills out of her mouth like the drool from a heavily medicated mental patient, Newt damned well knows that he is talking out of his big white ass.    He’s too damned intelligent not to. His nonsense is easily proved wrong, and he knows it. But he also knows that his knuckle dragging followers won’t ask.  Notice Gingrich offered up no proof of this treason (The only crime specifically defined by the Constitution, a death sentence in time of war, and one hell of an accusation for someone of Gingrich’s statue to level at a sitting President and the Attorney General).  No proof whatsoever.  He offered no explanation of how treating the Underwear Bomber within the letter of American law actually deprives Americans of their rights or makes America less safe or panders to the enemies of the United State in any way whatsoever. Or why adhering to our own law in the case of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is treason, but why it wasn’t when the previous Conservative administration did exactly the same thing with Richard Reid, the Shoe Bomber.  Or Joseph Padilla, the Dirty Bomb guy.  See, the people he was speaking to last night don’t need any such explanation and it would never occur to them to demand one because they are utterly incapable of understanding the inherent hypocrisy and are used to double think.  They’re already convinced Obama is a traitor, Gingrich is just telling them what they want to hear.

For a guy that talks about the greatness of America and who bangs the drum of Patriotism at every conservative parade, Gingrich’s words demonstrate an astounding lack of faith in that self same American system.  For a man who is a member of a political party that likes to wave little pamphlets with the Constitution printed inside, his words betray a profound lack of confidence in that very document, the ideals it embodies, and the nation it guides.

So what’s he up to?

He’s thinking about the Oval Office, of course…and how he’d look sitting in the big chair. 

See, Gingrich knows that in order to make a run at the White House in 2012 - and to challenge the frigid NeoCon Ice Queen of the North - he needs to rally the base.  And base is exactly the right word here, as in base element, base emotion, base impulse, and base intelligence.  The base in this case is a bunch of mouth breathing conspiracy nuts who dream about a return to the good old days when “American” meant white people who speak English and believe in Jesus, economic stimulus meant carpet bombing the crap out of funny looking people in a foreign land, and the HUAC was just good clean fun.  The base in this case wants to believe that liberals are stealing their country, that their neighbors are the enemy, their government is in league with terrorists, and their president is the literal antichrist. The base are those people who disrupted townhall meetings with childish antics and then complained bitterly that their voices weren’t heard. The base in this case are the same idiots who use ‘fascist’ and ‘socialist’ as modifiers for the same proper noun and yet consider themselves politically savvy and well informed on the issues.  The base in this case are those who think America can ignore her own laws when they become inconvenient and still be a beacon of liberty and justice and freedom – and anybody who says otherwise, well, we’ll kill those fuckers.  The base in this case are those who think respect is earned through force and that there is no problem that can’t be solved by blowing shit up, outlawing abortion, and a monster truck rally. 

I’ll tell you, if this kind of crap is what Newt means by “politically incorrect honesty” then he can keep it to himself.

The GOP deserves him.


 

It is entirely possible that Driftglass and I were separated at birth.   What he said.  Tip of the hat to Serving Patriot for the link.

Industrial Disease

 

Warning lights are flashing down at Quality Control
somebody threw a spanner and they threw him in the hole
there's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town
somebody blew the whistle and the walls came down
there's a meeting in the boardroom they're trying to trace the smell
there's leaking in the washroom there's a stink in personnel
somewhere in the corridor someone was heard to sneeze
'goodness me could this be Industrial Disease?
The caretaker was crucified for sleeping at his post
refusing to be pacified, it's him they blame the most
the watchdog's got rabies the foreman's got fleas
and everyone's concerned about Industrial Disease
there's panic on the switchboard, tongues in knots
some come out in sympathy some come out in spots
some blame the management and some the employees
everybody knows it's the Industrial Disease
The work force is disgusted, downs tools and walks
innocence is injured, experience just talks
everyone seeks damages and everyone agrees
that these are 'classic symptoms of a monetary squeeze
on ITV and BBC they talk about the cuts
philosophy is useless theology is worse
history boils over there's an economics squeeze
sociologists invent words that mean 'Industrial Disease'
Doctor Parkinson declared 'I'm not surprised to see you here
you've got smokers cough from smoking, brewer's droop from drinking beer
I don't know how you came to get the Betty Davis knees
but worst of all young man you've got Industrial Disease'
he wrote me a prescription he said 'you are depressed
I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest
come back and see me later - next patient please
send in another victim of Industrial Disease'
I go down to Speaker's Corner I'm thunderstruck
they got free speech, tourists, police in trucks
two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong
there's a protest singer he's singing a protest song - he says
'they wanna have a war to keep their factories
they wanna have a war to keep us on our knees
they wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
they wanna have a war to stop Industrial Disease
they're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind
they wanna sap your energy, incarcerate your mind
they give you Rule Brittania, gassy beer, page three
two weeks in Espana and Sunday striptease'
meanwhile the first Jesus says 'I'd cure it soon
abolish monday mornings and friday afternoons'
the other one's on a hunger strike he's dying by degrees
how come Jesus gets Industrial Disease?

- Dire Straits, Industrial Disease

 

Over on the “headquarters of the Conservative underground,” Human Events.com, Pat Buchanan has a bad case of the industrial disease.

It’s all doom and gloom in Buchanan’s America.

The country is headed downhill fast and there’s only hell waiting for us at the bottom of the slope.

Pat, he’s depressed, the last decade met his expectations pretty much exactly – and his expectations weren’t all that high. Here at the beginning of the new century’s second decade, Pat Buchanan is certain that the pessimists like himself have been proven right. 

There’s a lot to be depressed about, according to Pat:

- the United States began the century producing 32 percent of the world's gross domestic product. We ended the decade producing 24 percent. No nation in modern history, save for the late Soviet Union, has seen so precipitous a decline in relative power in a single decade.

- The United States began the century with a budget surplus. We ended with a deficit of 10 percent of gross domestic product, which will be repeated in 2010. Where the economy was at full employment in 2000, 10 percent of the labor force is out of work today and another 7 percent is underemployed or has given up looking for a job.

- Between one-fourth and one-third of all U.S. manufacturing jobs have disappeared in 10 years, the fruits of a free-trade ideology that has proven anything but free for this country. Our future is being outsourced -- to China.

- While the median income of American families was stagnant, the national debt doubled.

- The dollar lost half its value against the euro. Once the most self-sufficient republic in history, which produced 96 percent of all it consumed, the U.S.A. is almost as dependent on foreign nations today for manufactured goods, and the loans to pay for them, as we were in the early years of the republic.

The rest of his column is even more depressing. He spends a dozen paragraphs whining about the “snake oil” of the global economy, interdependence, and free trade.  He kvetches about the Fed and the economy and the deficit. He didn’t like Bush, and he damned sure doesn’t like Obama.  And he concludes by lamenting that we won’t be “presiding over the creation of a New World Order” and whether the decline of America is irreversible.

Enlightening, isn’t it? His phrasing, I mean.  New World Order. End Times. Judgment Day. This is the same old drumbeat of those rightwing religious conservatives who don’t get their way.  When the nation doesn’t conform to their version of the Divine Plan, well then we’re all doomed.

We’ve let Pat down. America let Pat down. The New World Order of Jesusland that he so badly wanted to preside over didn’t come about and now, of course, America is going straight to hell in a hand basket full of aborted fetuses and porn!  Oh noes! We’ve kicked God out of the schools and now the moral fabric of the country is coming unraveled!  The [Muslims, Liberals, Abortionists, Illegal Aliens, Minorities, Gays, Terrorists, Politically Correct, and etc] are to blame!  The commenters under Buchanan’s post are a pretty good example of the kind of “Americans” who buy into this depressing garbage.  They are convinced that America’s “slide into decline” is indeed irreversible – or reversible but prevented by The Jew. Yes, a fun extra benefit of reading Pat’s comment section is the fervent and pervasive anti-Semitism.  And, of course, they are all convinced that if only we’d overturn Roe v. Wade the course of our rapid decline would be immediately reversed - because then God would no longer have it in for us.

The worse things are, the happier people like Pat Buchanan are, convinced that the ills of the world are visited upon us by an angry God, a God who’d be happy and would therefore stop smiting America - if only we’d just listen to Pat.

Even if Pat and his followers are depressed over things that are not exactly true.

Take Buchanan’s statement “The United States began the century with a budget surplus” – referring to the famous budget surplus at the end of Clinton’s administration. Just one problem, there never was a budget surplus.  The Clinton administration reduced the public debt (i.e. the portion of the national debt owed to the American public) by about $230 billion in FY2000, but increased intergovernmental debt by about $248 billion the same year.  The overall national debt (public debt plus intergovernmental debt) increased to about $17 billion – a relatively small amount to be sure – and then jumped to $133Billion in the last year of his administration.  Clinton did pay down the public debt, but the national debt increased – and as long as you have a national debt, there is no surplus.  In order to pay down the public portion of the national debt, Clinton “borrowed” from Social Security – as he was required by law to do.  Understand, the Social Security administration had a surplus, driven mostly by the DotCom bubble, and by law is required to take the surpluses and buy US Government securities with it – which during the DotCon bubble allowed the Administration to pay down the public debt by using those securities.  But we still owed that money, we just moved it from one column of the ledger to another. There never was a surplus – it’s a myth (I’m not saying that not having a surplus is a good thing, only that if Buchanan is going to be depressed, he ought to be depressed about reality and not some fantasy).

“No nation in modern history, save for the late Soviet Union, has seen so precipitous a decline in relative power in a single decade.” Really?  Spain, France, Great Britain? Germany? Japan?  Of course, that would depend entirely on how you define “modern history” I guess – and the method of decline, and the new heights they reaches following their respective recoveries.

Or take the generally accepted statement made by Buchanan and many of his supporters that things have never been this bad – a surprise, I’m sure, to those who managed to survive The Great Depression and the dark days of WWII.

A reoccurring theme, again by both Buchanan and his commenters, is corruption in Washington perpetuated by a greedy and incompetent Congress and aided and abetted by the White House.

Take earmarks, for example. A number of commenters are convinced that if we got rid of earmarks there’d be enough money to fix the national debt. Sorry, wrong. See, while you can argue the ethics of earmarks until the cows come home, the reality of the matter is that earmarks do not increase government spending – they are a percentage of the total amount of spending that has already been agreed to by Congress for a given year.  In order words, earmarks dictate how some of the money in the Federal budget will be spent, not the overall amount of money.

Cut wasteful spending! they cry next. Unfortunately this too is for the most part a white elephant.  Two thirds of federal spending is mandatory, mandated by law for things like Social Security and interest on the national debt.  The remaining third is discretionary spending, which this year will be about $1.4 trillion dollars. A bit over half of that will be spent on “defense.” Leaving roughly $650 billion to pay for education and transportation and so on.  Now, to be sure and for certain there is wasteful spending in there, but even if every bit of it was cut out it would only add up to about $20 billion.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where most of the budget’s discretionary funding goes.

Buchanan’s followers got into a pissing contest over who could be the most anti-Semitic (my personal favorite was the guy who, in a dazzling display of logic, defended Jews as not being part of the problem because “Hitler knocked off six million of them and it didn’t do him any good.” Yeah, go Batshit Crazy, go!).  But the bottom line being that if we’d only reduce or get rid of foreign aid we could save a bunch of money.  Wrong again. Total foreign aid, including aid to Israel to assist in the coming rapture and End Times, is about $20 billion – and that $20 billion buys us no end of strategic goodwill. $20 billion is a bargain for what we get in return.

But my favorite part of the entire article has to be Buchanan’s assertion that “Once the most self-sufficient republic in history, which produced 96 percent of all it consumed, the U.S.A. is almost as dependent on foreign nations today for manufactured goods, and the loans to pay for them, as we were in the early years of the republic.”  I’m not quite sure how to square what appears to be a call for a return to the pre-WWI policy of isolationism with Buchanan’s dream of a New World Order led by a born again United States, or how exactly Buchanan thinks a population of 300 million plus that are accustomed to the lifestyle we Americans are could possibly find the resources within its own boarders to maintain and support such a structure. 

You know, it’s pretty easy to climb on the Buchanan bandwagon. Not everything he says is wrong, pessimistic yes, entirely wrong no. We have lost jobs to Mexico and China, we have outsourced a large portion of our manufacturing capability overseas, and our energy requirements far exceed our domestic resources.

And, yes, we do face the worst economic crises since The Great Depression. 

A lot of people are unemployed and angry and depressed.

And people like Pat Buchanan are busy egging them on. No matter how bad it is, according to Pat, it is just going to keep get worse.

Bah.

See, that’s what chaps my ass, right there.  This nation has faced many, many challenges since its birth. It survived The Great Depression and emerged stronger and wiser and renewed.  And in fact, this nation has survived far worse things than The Great Depression, it survived civil war. 

Every couple of generations we face a crisis and the conservative pundits proclaim the end of the Republic. They decry the moral decay that led to our decline – and they beseech God to save us. And when they don’t receive instant validation from upon high, they give up and wait for the end - witness those conservatives who gave up and didn’t vote when pre-election polls favored Barack Obama. Rather than stay the course, they stayed home. Some faith, eh? It never ceases to amaze me how those who profess such great faith in God, have so little faith in their own nation. It never ceases to astound me how those who claim such great faith throw in the towel when things don’t go the way they think it ought to. It never ceases disgust me how those who claim moral superiority and superior patriotism are always so ready to give up on America when it comes time to pull together – if they can’t have it all their way, they just give up.  And it never ceases to piss me off when those who profess to lead this country, people such as Pat Buchanan, do nothing but pander to the divide and despair and depression when the chips are down.

Industrial disease indeed.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Standing Watch

ShopKat keeping a keen eye out for vermin

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I don’t know why, but she likes to sit on top of those burl blanks, on the bottom rack of the wood cart. She’ll sit there for hours, absolutely alert, watching for any vole stupid enough to cross the perimeter.

 

This, of course, is my way of saying I spent the evening in the shop working on the lathe instead of writing. 

So sorry.