tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post9215908261056133449..comments2024-03-28T14:52:13.218-05:00Comments on Stonekettle Station: The People We Were, The People We AreJim Wrighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-23567642733026264032018-11-06T03:29:18.144-06:002018-11-06T03:29:18.144-06:00As one of the youngin's born in the mid 80s, I...As one of the youngin's born in the mid 80s, I'm sad to say that earlier this year, I too found this happening to me.<br /><br />I knew this kid back in my youthful bliss in California, went by JT. We originally met in elementary school, and just sort of hit it off. Playing pretend, hanging out, playing videogames. Politics? Psh, we were kids, it was the 90s; furthest thing from our minds at the time.<br /><br />Time passed, and we parted ways due to circumstances beyond our control. Time passed, and I never forgot the last time we spent together, as 14 year olds (or was it 15? things are fuzzy on this part). We had three days together, doing what we loved doing together. Playing games, play-acting cool sci-fi scenarios, and just hanging out.<br /><br />I wouldn't see or hear from him again for nearly two decades. And all that time, every so often, I'd always wonder what was going on with my good friend JT. What was he up to? Was he doing okay? <br /><br />Fast forward to 2014/15 (there's that confusion between those numbers again, dammit). Through my sister (who's always been friends with his sister), we reconnected on facebook. Didn't talk much, but he'd been doing well; went into the navy, and he's still serving to this day. Stationed in Guam right now (last I heard), married and expecting a daughter soon. <br /><br />His posts were usually just funny things, or updates on his life. And then 2016 came along. I didn't see much from him, but after the election, I saw more and more pro-Trump propoganda being displayed. I simply unfollowed; I didn't want to lose the chance of rekindling a friendship that I had held dear as a child.<br /><br />This year, however, the last straw happened. JT, out of nowhere, put up a huge, long-winded rant, entirely belittling everything he could. "I hated Obama, but I didn't eat tide pods to make the big bad President go away." Along with, "Anyone who disrespects the honorable President Trump by proxy hates every soldier in uniform." Trying to wrap my already dizzying head around THAT little morsel of mental gymnastics, I then got the coup de grace: "I'm hyper conservative, and I'll never live in communist California again, nor ever let my soon-to-be-born daughter near any of you on the left, because you on the left are all un-American and full of HATE!"<br /><br />A lump in my throat, a burning in my chest, I didn't respond. I unfriended immediately, and wondered where the hell the awesome guy I knew 20 years before had gone. Who was this stranger that had replaced him, so unwittingly (and ironically) ready to group myself and others as full of hate, and even worse, un-American? Never in my life have I called any fellow citizen, even those I strongly disagreed with in politics, un-American. It reeked of far-right conspiracy-wing nutjob. I even cried for a bit afterwards.<br /><br />"What happened?" I thought, shaken. "Where's my friend??" And yet, I knew the best thing to do was to drop a connection that could now never be rekindled. What hurt wasn't that I had to do it; I've dropped toxic people like bags of bricks plenty of times in my life.<br /><br />What hurt is that I had to do it to someone I wanted to reconnect with, and be friends with again. Now, thanks to his own self-absorbed far-right lurch, I'll never get that chance. I don't know who this man is, but I do know the cool kid I knew back then is long dead.<br /><br />I know this pain all too well, and I'm far, far younger than you, Jim. Still, thanks. It helps to know that I'm not the only one, even generations apart, to experience this.Matthew Brandon Colliernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-84653251364872693902018-03-26T18:47:34.347-05:002018-03-26T18:47:34.347-05:00You, dear sir, give me hope. Thank you for this. T...You, dear sir, give me hope. Thank you for this. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-75143733954432902382016-11-11T20:41:06.970-06:002016-11-11T20:41:06.970-06:00Coming late to this party... I love this post, yo...Coming late to this party... I love this post, you are a most eloquent, wise and amazing writer. Thank you so much for this post... It totally describes the experience of my dear husband, who is a retired Navy Chief ET... Blessings upon you.healingmagichandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03785882461027155830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-59431288144922979372016-04-15T14:25:16.164-05:002016-04-15T14:25:16.164-05:00I read the comments about Scouts, and have both sa...I read the comments about Scouts, and have both sadness and hope.<br /><br />Sadness that such things ever happened to one of the best organizations I've been a part of (Eagle Scout, Order of the Arrow in 1983).<br /><br />Sadness that there are members of my son's current troop who resemble this... Drill baby, Drill, driving their massive pickup truck and complaining about Socialism, while still claiming to profess Leave No Trace.<br /><br />Happiness that I think the organization is SLOWLY turning a new leaf. It probably helps that I live in an area where a LOT of people work in Tech (and tech hiring seems to favor better education and acceptance of differences).<br /><br />But yeah, I've also seen a couple of names come up from back in high school, I look at their Facebook profile and posts, and say, "Nope. No need to waste time re-acquainting myself there." As you've said, there's no point in engaging some of these extreme thinkers.Brian Pickeringhttps://www.facebook.com/BigBearBriannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-76943832245722115042016-03-30T02:53:29.238-05:002016-03-30T02:53:29.238-05:00You used to be fearless, but somehow you ended up ...You used to be fearless, but somehow you ended up afraid all of the time. Afraid of everything and everybody, afraid of change, afraid to hope, and afraid of anybody different, people like me for example. You live in the freest nation in the world and in a time of nearly unlimited opportunity, you have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep and unfettered access to endless information, you’ve got fresh water and healthcare and a sanitary place to take a shit without it ending up in your food supply and you’ve got all the goddamned guns you can afford. Your worst damned day is better than what ninety percent of the world’s population will ever experience, ever, in their entire miserable short brutal lives. But you’re still afraid. Maybe it’s because you only listen to people who tell you to be afraid, dimwitted small minded fearful haters who make a profit on your fear, folks like Ted Nugent and Allen West and Sarah Palin. Maybe it’s because you only listen to people like Rush and Glenn and Sean instead of actual scientists, engineers, economists, or people who have actually gone more than fifty miles from where they were born, people like me for example.<br /><br />I actually know people like this now. They seem to be so afraid all of a sudden.Matt Marquiseenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-77708075145113112582014-08-30T12:47:44.134-05:002014-08-30T12:47:44.134-05:00So I'm really late to this party (where has St...So I'm really late to this party (where has Stonekettle been all my life??) but I still feel compelled to comment on this. I noticed after perusing some of the comments here that I am definitely not the first to be saying this but I still want to exclaim how thankful I am that someone is out there writing this, exposing what is going on, and really calling people out, even when it's people we used to know to be something so different. My experience with my father is apparently very similar to many other posters. Although we didn't have a supremely great and close relationship when I was younger, we now have barely any because of his "views". Honestly I can't even remember my parents ever talking at all about politics or religion growing up but all of a sudden he's a staunch, right-wing nut job. He is a devout Fox News/ O'Reilly follower and I KNOW that is where SO much of his bullshit comes from. I always remembered my dad being the scientific sort of person and now he's a climate change denier (and possibly even a creationist - I haven't asked because I'm afraid the answer will create an irreparable divide between us). This essay REALLY hit home for me. I was in tears. Some of the tears were shed for the general sadness I felt over things like the boy scout troop leader paragraph (sickening) and some over the more personal loss of my father, who seems to have morphed into someone completely different. Thank you Jim for saying so eloquently what so many of us have noticed and are feeling. Amanda Marlernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-40546776749260891522013-10-07T20:00:05.356-05:002013-10-07T20:00:05.356-05:00I just found your page, and am blown away by this ...I just found your page, and am blown away by this piece. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-63667222162342874752013-09-24T00:55:02.232-05:002013-09-24T00:55:02.232-05:00you should write a book on anything, I'll read...you should write a book on anything, I'll read it. another well written and thought out essay!<br />us clever Apes have a problem with the passage of time and the changes it brings to other people, places and ourselves. always has been always will be. and so it goes...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10824298132861265816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-3180803279745045332012-12-18T20:28:22.911-06:002012-12-18T20:28:22.911-06:00Wonderful post!Wonderful post!gptcohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11611087952575864933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-57055688856133089442012-12-18T00:22:45.139-06:002012-12-18T00:22:45.139-06:00I don't comment too often, and the few I have ...I don't comment too often, and the few I have felt the need to add a word to have been short & sweet (usually just a thank you for being you). I know I've already professed Chad & I are madly in love with you, but if I had read nothing except this blog alone, I would love you now anyway.<br />I seem to have the opposite, but same dilemma on my hands as I've gotten older. Every one of the people who have either stumbled onto my page or actually found me on purpose seem to say the same thing, "You have not changed one bit! I love it!". I still don't know if they truly mean it as a compliment, or are just acknowledging what I already know...that my "views" of the world, and the people in it, have truly changed very little from the age of about 12 to this much traveled,seen enough to know, 40+. I know that would seem hard to believe, but I was actually very close at 12, to the mean, impatient with ignorance, not going to put up with your bullshit, bitch I know myself to be now. I have almost no use for my actual "blood" family (who, if they DID bother to vote, would probably vote for whoever Fox News told them to. Yeah, it's that bad. ~sigh~) now that my mother is gone. She was the only one who loved me for "me" and used to tell me she had actually tricked my dad into having me (the baby of 3 girls) and I was born just for her, to be her "voice" since I had the balls to just say whatever I was feeling & if you didn't like it, well, it sucked to be you, quit listenin'. She (along with my son & hubby) are the only family that love me for that particular quirk. <br />The problem I seem to be having is not knowing where in the hell these STRANGERS that used to be "friends" (mostly from middle & high school) came from! I get that you can't choose your family, and we've all agreed I'm the mailman's kid (I wonder if he had bunches of tattoos too? Hmm...), but I don't understand HOW people can absolutely be a totally different person inside even after 20+ years! I know, of course, some opinions and outlooks on life will change and so on, but it's like I never knew any of them at all! I think maybe I just didn't pay as much attention to them as I thought back then? It's very strange, but this blog brought it all to mind. Not sure if that's a good thing either, but I did get quite a few thoughtful moments, and those I always enjoy. Thanks.Heather Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13154798618976679853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-10259589649539911162012-10-08T07:07:41.243-05:002012-10-08T07:07:41.243-05:00This is sad, but I think that it is just an effect...This is sad, but I think that it is just an effect of growing older. We don’t have such an extreme political polarisation in the UK, though it may get there. However, I’ve seen it in other ways. There were guys I grew up with who were like brothers. We watched each other’s backs when crap came down. We laughed and got drunk together, and listened to each other’s problems. One was best man at my wedding. Yet we’ve grown apart. They gradually became less and less like the people they used to be, with us disagreeing on more and more subjects. <br /><br />One, for example, bollocked me for saving a woman from a beating on the street, on account of the risk. He thought that I should have walked by. However, I remember the younger him would never have walked by, and would have been contemptuous of anyone suggesting that he did so. I merely told him that if you can act, and don’t do so, you’re as culpable as the person committing the act and that I, for one, wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror each morning. Once he would have agreed with those sentiments. Now he didn’t, though he did have the good grace to look uncomfortable, and possibly even ashamed, when I mentioned ideals that we once both held. However, the writing was on the wall for that friendship, even though we met in childhood.<br /><br />Others, for example, used to have a more caring view of other people, but have now moved into the ‘hang and flog all scroungers’ field of political philosophy. I became the one at fault, the fool – I should, they reckon, grow up and get real. One gradually became notably racist, which he never was when younger. So with all of them, things eventually drifted until we no longer had things to talk about, other than the past, or points on which to agree. Then there’s an American ex-girlfriend. A lovely lass, and very caring when we were together. She’d had a rough life, really starting at the bottom, so appreciated the problems. We had similar views on life back then. The relationship ended, but we remained good friends. However, over the last few years her views have become more and more Tea Party, until we could agree on nothing political. Eventually she unfriended me on FB.<br /><br />I don’t think that it is me. Many folks have said that, out of all the people they know, I’ve changed the least. I still hold onto the ideals and beliefs that I had then, some of which my parents taught me. Those guy’s parents taught them similar ideals; they just seem to have forgotten them or regard them as outmoded or foolish. By contrast, I won’t forget them or abandon them, even if the whole of the rest of the world adopts the same beliefs. I’m now teaching them to my daughter<br /><br />Still, I learnt back when I was 10-11 to never look back. For a while you bob along together, and it seems that it will go on forever. However, the current is slowly carrying you away from each other and, as time goes on, you’re having to shout louder and louder over the distance. Eventually all there is, is silence, and all that you have is memories of who they were. And perhaps it is better that way, because if you try to go back they’ll be somehow diminished, less, sadly changed or unrecognisable when you revisit them. At best, you’ll be like some I’ve seen, getting together for a drink to remember the good old days, but with nothing left in common except that. More likely though, you’ll find that there’s no longer any place for you – perhaps, in part, because you remind them uncomfortably of who they were, and who they could have been. But perhaps it is also just the result of time.<br />Kevinhttp://www.ryujinswords.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-22103320938803834582012-07-02T10:08:50.091-05:002012-07-02T10:08:50.091-05:00So, so not alone ...
My father trained as an engi...So, so not alone ...<br /><br />My father trained as an engineer, putting himself through college on the GI Bill after working to send his younger brothers through college. <br /><br />I remember, as a 13ish year-old at the supper table, repeating a racist joke I'd heard at school that day that I thought was funny. I remember being backhanded ... HARD. He had such large, hard, rough hands. I also remember not ever doing it again.<br /><br />I remember being raised to believe "we are all God's children," worthy of respect - nobody is born better than anyone else. If God gifted you exceptionally, it was because he expected you to share exceptionally.<br /><br />I remember learning from an early age that, as Christians, we were responsible for our fellow man. That as Americans, we always look out for the little guy. That as Americans, we respect our leaders, even if we disagree with their politics. <br /><br />Now, I get the emails (as part of a very large distribution list) from him, or FB posts from one of my 4 siblings, many cousins, and aunts and uncles, with the racist jokes, hate toward our President, hate toward everything Faux News tells them to hate. <br /><br />I often feel lost from all of it. Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong. How did I grow up believing crazy shit like food, shelter, healthcare, a living wage for a day's work, and the right to love whomever you choose were basic human rights? That, especially in the richest country in the world, these things ought to be a given? To be a *gasp* "liberal" when he and virtually all of my family are convinced that these are all satanic ideas? Yes, I have a PhD and have seen a good part of the world, but he, like many of my relatives, also is well-educated and fairly well-traveled. How did I go off the reservation?<br /><br />I remember once telling my father that I am who I am because of the way I was raised and, although I'm not entirely certain, I'm pretty sure he was offended.<br /><br />I know he loves me; he adores my wife and daughters, but it hurts me deeply to see what he (and the rest of my family) has become. I dearly hope I can have the courage to be the man I was raised to be and, like Cameron, "give him space and go on loving the man."HazyDavyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05444194344118147478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-43801295655066328192012-05-19T07:08:40.011-05:002012-05-19T07:08:40.011-05:00For me it meant standing on the end of a Norfolk p...For me it meant standing on the end of a Norfolk pier from midnight to 4a.m. in 30 degree weather with a 35mph wing blowing freezing rain all over me just to make damn sure nobody stole my Uncle Sam's brand new air craft carrier, lol.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-44576100764863409182012-05-19T07:04:29.261-05:002012-05-19T07:04:29.261-05:00Please keep writing. I'll keep reading.Please keep writing. I'll keep reading.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-86903771618536347982012-05-10T09:05:09.431-05:002012-05-10T09:05:09.431-05:00Parent-In-Law over school bond vote: "Why sho...Parent-In-Law over school bond vote: "Why should I have to pay for those peoples children?" Knock me over with a feather. I just stood there gap mouthed for an eternity it seemed. Finally I just said "I'm very glad that a lot of people at the time didn't think that way when your son, my husband, was going to school.", and walked away.<br />I also have friends I grew up with, that I no longer can hold a conversation with in a civil manner. It is one of the saddest things to deal with as I age. Getting older means people you know die, but sometimes their bodies are still walking around inhabited by something from an alternate dimension.Buzzing Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03991683583671827870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-51235910938159539562012-05-06T23:09:55.773-05:002012-05-06T23:09:55.773-05:00Great post.
I have one question about this senten...Great post.<br /><br />I have one question about this sentence:<br />Maybe we stood the watch together on some Cold War cruiser off the coast of Africa<br /><br />What does it mean to stand the watch?Everyday Freethoughthttp://www.everydayfreethought.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-78865327069838053102012-05-03T21:11:58.410-05:002012-05-03T21:11:58.410-05:00Ricky Nelson said this as well in Garden Party!
It...Ricky Nelson said this as well in Garden Party!<br />It's sad that folk from our past mis remember us, but well <br />Thanks for saying this!tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12900119600864490344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-86601421821769230772012-05-03T11:43:21.302-05:002012-05-03T11:43:21.302-05:00Thank you for this post and your many others. It r...Thank you for this post and your many others. It reminds me that I'm not going insane. That I'm not the only person who feels a great divide has grown over the years, and that the right end of the bell curve has grown considerably thicker. I sent you a FB request, and FB in their infinite wisdom has seen fit to not allow me to send a message along with it. I hope you accept it, and if you ever find yourself in the SF area, I'd be happy to show you our fine selection of Irish pubs.Raymond Holmesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-6129317924630352712012-05-02T09:52:03.394-05:002012-05-02T09:52:03.394-05:00This has happened to me so many times since I got ...This has happened to me so many times since I got into social networking. I grew up in Alabama, but while the rest of my community was living in the same 30 square mile radius, I went away to college on scholarship. When I was done with that, I joined the military. I've lived in several different states and a couple of different countries, and I've visited many many more. As far as Facebook was concerned, I was pretty late to the game given that I was spending much of my time working and my precious off time was spent with my husband and daughter or trying to catch up on sleep. When I became a civilian again, I had a lot more time on my hands and was able to reconnect with many people I haven't seen for many years. I don't remember changing. They claim I have. But I don't remember them being so hateful or bigoted either. Sure, people in my family have always been that way and always will be that way, but I'm pretty sure my friends were good people. So maybe I don't remember right? In either case, it seems that I've become the bad guy. I served my country honorably for the better part of a decade, but I'm the bad guy. It makes me want to leave again, but this time stay gone permanently.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13421846416214947649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-27566709978495262682012-05-01T23:40:20.458-05:002012-05-01T23:40:20.458-05:00There is no way Mitt Romney will pick a female for...There is no way Mitt Romney will pick a female for his VP. His Mormon roots run deep and women are considered secondary in his world as in all other religions seeking to expand their influence. What we consider fundamental sects of many religions have never moved beyond the expansion model. Fundamental religions are “stuck” in their early origins and appeal to people who are unable to progress. Religions in this mode show a paternal power base and female roles are designated as wholly maternal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-63949806017726846862012-04-30T23:49:06.140-05:002012-04-30T23:49:06.140-05:00Outstanding would be a giant understatement! You h...Outstanding would be a giant understatement! You have observed life well and your ability to put your thoughts on paper remind me of Jack London and John Steinbeck. Delightful!BlueMuleBBQhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15715169145826770134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-43973685871961906532012-04-28T15:22:59.915-05:002012-04-28T15:22:59.915-05:00Thanks for that comment about Stephen Ambrose'...Thanks for that comment about Stephen Ambrose's "Citizen Soldier", it struck a real chord with something I've been mulling for a while now. I just missed being alive during WWII, but I grew up on documentaries about 'How we Won the War'. One theme that ran through them was that we weren't a nation built on theory but on pragmatics, 'what works'. We solved problems because we weren't blinded by percieved wisdom but could see through to the original and practical route around those problems. This didn't appeal to my somewhat abstract nature, but I could see the power in it.<br />Now we seem to have slipped all the way past 'theory' down to 'dogmatism', which I think of as a theory that ignores the facts. How could our culture have changed so much in such a short time?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-52398428114843644952012-04-27T20:54:50.115-05:002012-04-27T20:54:50.115-05:00Jesus Fuck, Jim.
I know there's a little box...Jesus Fuck, Jim. <br /><br />I know there's a little box up there that says "I cried", but what I mean is I actually had tears in my eyes for the last quarter of this. <br /><br />Well done, Chief Warrant. Very well Goddamn done.Thorvaldrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15879079073835564071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-61029112720188904572012-04-25T22:41:13.969-05:002012-04-25T22:41:13.969-05:00That happens a lot.That happens a lot.Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-16002284777120969642012-04-25T22:28:42.258-05:002012-04-25T22:28:42.258-05:00You scare me!You scare me!John Mystehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16263634313238599515noreply@blogger.com