tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post5259154658644251942..comments2024-03-17T08:27:53.658-05:00Comments on Stonekettle Station: Defensive WoundsJim Wrighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comBlogger203125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-6915554741573711952014-06-20T15:07:55.556-05:002014-06-20T15:07:55.556-05:00Two things:
1) I'm also a newcomer reading th...Two things:<br /><br />1) I'm also a newcomer reading through your archives, and this post in particular gave me a shot of perspective on some of my own prejudices—in the most literal, "pre-judging" sense of the word. You're a straight white male American military veteran, and without even realizing it, I made some assumptions about you. Even as I read through more and more evidence that those assumptions were wrong, part of me was still braced for the moment you'd prove me right.<br /><br />I used to be a real prick. Closed-minded, judgmental and angry, and if you spent more than about ten minutes with me, you'd know all of that for a fact. I've worked hard to stop being that person, and I'm proud of the progress I've made—but my knee-jerk judgment of you shows me I still have a long way to go. I appreciate the eye-opener, and I'll try to do better in the future.<br /><br />2) I was pretty severely abused when I was younger, and I've got the scars (physical and mental) to show for it. But the worst thing my abuser ever did was try to take away my right to self-definition. Even now, after all this time and a shitload of therapy, I still struggle to throw off their twisted attempts to define me, and every step I've taken towards replacing their definitions with my own has been one of healing. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.Zozonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-66286953051153198852014-06-08T22:45:11.839-05:002014-06-08T22:45:11.839-05:00Jim, I've been going back through some of your...Jim, I've been going back through some of your posts (I'm a new reader here) and found this one to be just as great as the others I have read. Each post I read, I read completely, since the subject matter and your presentation really demand it, even if you didn't have a rule about doing so before commenting.<br /><br />I'd like to point out that the vast majority of science fiction and fantasy fans do not hang out slavishly at any authors web site, blog, etc. They are not the rabid type you encountered. Sure, I 'd say most of us (yes, I am one, as well as a certified nerd) are more sensitive to stereotypes than the run-of-the-mill populace, but we also do not pile on the blame wagon. I've made it to a few conventions (PAX Prime, which is close to me here) and I will tell you that there are all types who attended the ones I made it to. <br /><br />Please do not dismiss the entire SciFi community over your experience with whoever-this-may-be. And if you do decide to try your hand at professional writing, science fiction is not a bad genre. With your background you might think about something in the way of space warfare and political intrigue, ala Evan Currie.Steve G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13263806391969205277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-18848148127932094822014-03-30T00:18:45.403-05:002014-03-30T00:18:45.403-05:00No, you're not that guy. Try not to let it get...No, you're not that guy. Try not to let it get to you too much... they're not worth it.<br /><br />-A woman who's not That Woman, either.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09660392702124578655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-12718162543009688982014-03-06T08:11:39.080-06:002014-03-06T08:11:39.080-06:00I didn't see your slave Leia joke then, but I ...I didn't see your slave Leia joke then, but I saw it today and laughed. However, as you're learning the hard way, irony rarely survives on the internet. As for the folks you mention, have a little pity for them. They were both attacked by terminally earnest people in a flamewar called Racefail, and now they're both suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.Will Shetterlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08539053268352597627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-14439148256564502152014-03-04T04:13:57.433-06:002014-03-04T04:13:57.433-06:00Have you had a chance to listen to or read Lupita ...Have you had a chance to listen to or read Lupita Nyong'o's Essence speech? It's virtually the same sentiment as your tweet -- except it's a lesson recited by a young black woman who learns to reject being defined by her race and gender and, "...get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside (because) there is no shade to that beauty." <br /><br />Clearly, Jim, you, too, have a young black woman deep inside you that is struggling to get out. Have you thought of maybe changing your avatar? Perhaps Miss Nyong'o will lend you hers...jayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16467414286806348734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-44270549073796959532014-02-28T12:55:58.214-06:002014-02-28T12:55:58.214-06:00"There is only one truly inalienable right th..."There is only one truly inalienable right that can’t be taken away by gods nor governments nor men, and that is the right to define yourself" <br /><br />I can't see how this sentence can be seen as sexist or misogynistic, I'd say it is rather the opposite. <br />And that's coming from a rather loud voiced feminist...<br /><br />However, there are a lot of groups who never get the chance to define themselves, due to religious and political bigotry, but you know that. You even fly their/our colours quite frequently in your blog. If anything it is a goal to strive for, that we all should be allowed to define ourself not only to ourself but to the rest of the world.<br /><br />As a Sci-Fi "nerd" though, I think you are being a bit too generalising and demeaning about us who happen to line that particular genre. We're not all jerks you know, but you will get no apologies from me. I only apologise for my own mistakes. as far as I understand we agree on this. ;-)<br />Love your blog btw. I read it on a regular basis and I'm not even American.<br /><br />/Carin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-27584417999729753232014-02-26T11:03:45.987-06:002014-02-26T11:03:45.987-06:00My first comment. Hope this goes well, having read...My first comment. Hope this goes well, having read the guidelines and such. <br /><br />First things first, I also had that epiphany. That I am also not that guy. And that some people will never, ever, get it. Around the same age as you, Jim. And since I'm much younger, that was just a little more that a year ago. A truly exhilarating moment. I was very touched by both this post and your bell-ringing phrase: "There is only one truly inalienable right that can’t be taken away by gods nor governments nor men, and that is the right to define yourself.", which shall be engraved among my most beloved sayings. <br /><br />Also, very belated happy birthday. You're my new hero. I intend to become a regular. All of those usual things you say to a new acquaintance. <br /><br />Keep being yourself. Scarbrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354844943665937610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-37108542542405846692014-02-20T20:51:40.247-06:002014-02-20T20:51:40.247-06:00http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd154/KayarBlue...http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd154/KayarBlue/stonekettle-saying3_zpscb2d98d0.jpgMWThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09446603415730525882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-75853458633053437672014-02-20T16:53:20.128-06:002014-02-20T16:53:20.128-06:00I still read that other guy's blog, and for th...I still read that other guy's blog, and for the past week or so it's been mostly about a completely different drama going on elsewhere. I'd guess that that tweet was in reference to something going on with that. MWThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09446603415730525882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-13025504400729525162014-02-20T16:43:35.869-06:002014-02-20T16:43:35.869-06:00Yeah, sorry. I was focused on making it look like ...Yeah, sorry. I was focused on making it look like a Facebook poster and completely forgot about that until after I'd put it up on my wall (anyone who shares it from there would also get the text with Jim's name in it however). There doesn't seem to be a way to replace the image with an updated one, at least not on Facebook. I'll make a better one tonight and put up a new link here. <br />MWThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09446603415730525882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-86006117287996892822014-02-18T06:13:01.895-06:002014-02-18T06:13:01.895-06:00Oh dear me. What was I thinking? :)Oh dear me. What was I thinking? :)Vandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-1862609370116024892014-02-16T15:26:13.011-06:002014-02-16T15:26:13.011-06:00I'm afraid you fell for it there, StevoR. ;)I'm afraid you fell for it there, StevoR. ;)Scolopendrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07157371037260548120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-24106047674762346682014-02-15T19:47:57.050-06:002014-02-15T19:47:57.050-06:00Don, It literally never occurred to me that Mr Wri...Don, It literally never occurred to me that Mr Wright would sally forth to do battle with FSFW--or anyone else, for that matter--if he didn't already intend to, and especially not on my account. <br /><br />This is a perfect example of Meanie's 3rd Law: "Far more messages are received than were ever sent". In other words, yez got me wrong, Mack.<br /><br />If you look at my comments here, though they're not very numerous, they tend toward humor more and less toward deep thought than the average. That's just me. I like having fun on the intertoobz, and that's what that was. Also part of why I read this blog. When I saw the tweet, I thought, gee, ya think? Hmmm... Only this and nothing more.<br /><br />Also too, though I haven't been reading Stonekettle all that long, there are some things that should be obvious, and one of them is that if our host thought that's what I was about, he'd have no compunctions about a) putting me in my place toot sweet, or b), just shitcanning my comment (which would have been a polite form of "a"). <br /><br />Couple things, though. Your comment gave me a reason to re-read mine, and I have to admit that the snark about all-caps, though true, was probably unnecessary. And, in 20/20 hindsight, I kinda wish I'd stuck with the "FSFW" already in use, instead of the real name. The I.D. was already obvious, I think. <br /><br />But I really *don't* get the Tweet--a-minute crowd...<br /><br />Meanie-meanie, tickle a personhttp://www.fakeassurl.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-79480504234593360922014-02-15T18:10:43.357-06:002014-02-15T18:10:43.357-06:00But I suspect you got the reply you were looking f...But I suspect you got the reply you were looking for. For whatever reason.Don Hilliardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-3222835188486123042014-02-15T18:00:15.355-06:002014-02-15T18:00:15.355-06:00@DarthCynic: I would as cheerfully beat the ass of...@DarthCynic: I would as cheerfully beat the ass of whoever coined the "Social Justice Warrior" meme as I would that of the Berkeley leftist who coined the term "Politically Correct."<br /><br />Because "SJW" is rapidly becoming the 2010s version of "PC": i.e., a handy acronym to dismiss ANY complaint of someone being a dickhead re race, gender, sexuality etc., whether that complaint is right or wrong. Don Hilliardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-28340360726571735232014-02-15T17:09:31.508-06:002014-02-15T17:09:31.508-06:00Uh, Meanie, that's got more than a little of &...Uh, Meanie, that's got more than a little of "let's you and him fight" about it. Had I read that tweet - or any of its responses - without knowing <i>a priori</i> about the past problems, I wouldn't have known who it referred to. And in point of fact, I still don't, since it's a blind item and there's nothing to connect Jim Wright to it beyond the events related on this blog.<br /><br />In the interests of full disclosure - I do occasionally post on FSFW's blog, and I think quite a bit of some of what he's written there...but I've also been on the receiving end of the hair-triggered, supercilious and abusive behavior he allows slack to. My opinion is, shall we say, mixed. (As it is with JW; while I generally find Stonekettle Station a breath of fresh air, I've pointedly disagreed with him - sometimes publicly - several times since I started reading here. Ditto with FSFW. I've never been hit in either case with outside shit - which is NOT denying Jim's experiences, just saying that A) little me ain't worth the trouble, or B) FSFW has learned better to a certain degree.)<br /><br /><br />Don Hilliardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-17408234327336089062014-02-15T14:55:52.556-06:002014-02-15T14:55:52.556-06:00Jim,
Okay so I just posted on your birthday essay...Jim,<br /><br />Okay so I just posted on your birthday essay and proceeded to read this essay. I think I have fallen in love...psst don't tell my husband of 34 years! Some people just need to learn how to lighten up.<br /><br />I am very much for trying not to offend, judge, label, etc,etc, etc but DAMN if you can't put a little humor into Star Wars what is this world coming to???<br /><br />As far as the female her problem OBVIOUSLY was you left out the word WOMAN in your<br />statement "There is only one truly inalienable right that can’t be taken away by gods nor governments nor men, and that is the right to define yourself" That must be it.....she needs to lighten the f*#k up!!<br /><br />I just love you even if you are straight, white and male....:)<br /> art-n-musicmomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-41704108960333852002014-02-15T03:38:32.242-06:002014-02-15T03:38:32.242-06:00Er.. Vanda. FYI Princess Leia (& I suspect Geo...Er.. Vanda. FYI Princess Leia <i>(& I suspect George Lucas of making a rather crude joke with the name there!)</i> was NOT in any Star <i>Trek</i> franchise but instead she's from the Star <b>Wars</b> 'verse! <br /><br />She would however have made a good companion for The Doctor in any crossover series if there could be one! <i>(Which would be kinda awesome if it could happen.)</i> <br /><br />PS. It may be worth noting that whilst wearing that famous bikini Princess Leia killed an alien monster much bigger than her. Hmm ... StevoRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02506855815096149912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-16231512874582485592014-02-15T01:03:56.327-06:002014-02-15T01:03:56.327-06:00Very well said Anissa. That first sentence sums up...Very well said Anissa. That first sentence sums up a whole lot of blog "discussions" - if that's the right word for them. I've seen that happen a great many times online.. Some seemingly smart and good people really do need to recognise that and learn not to argue and think that way. I think I'm going to have to cut'n'paste and quote that line on occasion from now on if that's okay. Because it sums up a whole attitude and approach just perfectly. StevoRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02506855815096149912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-91749209444133408272014-02-15T00:42:26.749-06:002014-02-15T00:42:26.749-06:00I've never been strapped to the nose cone of a...I've never been strapped to the nose cone of a rocket. Sounds like fun - I'd like to try it.<br /><br />But only in a spacesuit and with a parachute. <br /><br />Incidentally, these tempests in a teapot offence seeking and taking things? They're not just limited to twitter. Sadly there's lot of that that does happen on some blogs and venues and by some people online. Sometimes there's good reason to call out some people for some things they've said and make (or read) a lot of it. Other times, not-so-much. <br /><br />StevoRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02506855815096149912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-63224816862452542862014-02-15T00:16:45.106-06:002014-02-15T00:16:45.106-06:00Badtux, I just feel a need to correct part of this...Badtux, I just feel a need to correct part of this post - rape and sexual assault is not an issue that mainly affects 'young, attractive women'. Not at all. Trust me. I work with victims of crime, and particularly victims of sexual crime. The need to control and violate women and men is not about wanting sex with them. It is about power.<br /><br />Many different types of people, of different ages, are abused and sexually assaulted, men as well as women. Rape is not about sexual desire.Vandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-8573932507269477072014-02-15T00:01:18.823-06:002014-02-15T00:01:18.823-06:00Well, I thought your comment about who would wear ...Well, I thought your comment about who would wear the Leia Bikini was very funny. Until I realised it referred to a Star Trek character, and not one of Dr Who's assistants. THEN I was offended. Vandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-9239993407256232912014-02-14T21:49:03.019-06:002014-02-14T21:49:03.019-06:00As I read this I was amazed at how many parallels ...As I read this I was amazed at how many parallels to my own life were in this essay. Even in the comments I found common ground with people who have had similar experiences. It has been many years since I allowed myself to be put in "The Box". I too am not That Guy. My first wife could not under stand that and tried to change me based on her assumption of what I should be. This did not work well and as one above commenter noted went on too long. Happily I have found a lady that loves me for who and what I am and does not think the shit she endured was any of my doing since it was long before we ever met. Yes and if I do screw up occasionally she lets me know. The thing is I don't get put in the box with the other defective toys. Dave Zirklenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-22115949812609615112014-02-14T19:58:34.197-06:002014-02-14T19:58:34.197-06:00Jim,
This column reminds me of my first wife. She...Jim,<br /><br />This column reminds me of my first wife. She was constantly convinced that I was cheating on her. When I protested that I wasn't, that proved I was, because since she KNEW that I was, my protests were lies, and since I was now a proven liar, when I said I wasn't cheating....<br /><br />It also lasted far too long.Dave V.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8243351006478134285.post-91180561977147665722014-02-14T19:40:31.352-06:002014-02-14T19:40:31.352-06:00As far as minions-piling-on goes, have no fear on ...As far as minions-piling-on goes, have no fear on my account. Even if I Twittered, no way in hell would I wade into something like that. I'm not above a little Whack-A-Troll in the right peanut gallery, but aTwitter-fight just seems like being a little too stupid, a little too publicly. Besides it not being my fight. I did get a kick out of some of the Twitstreams I read through, though, and the amount of all-caps some of 'em use (*cough* FSFW *cough*) And I gotta say I don't get the Tweet-a-minute crowd. I just don't...Meanie-meanie, tickle a personhttp://www.fakeassurl.comnoreply@blogger.com