Comments on Stonekettle Station: You See The Damnest People At Wal-Mart

Gennita, Yes! Those are the people I'm talking a...

2009-09-27T08:04:23.881-08:00

Gennita,

Yes! Those are the people I'm talking about, right there.

Thanks, that gave me a laugh!

//Jim

Jim, coming in very late, but I thought this site ...

2009-09-27T07:59:29.411-08:00

Jim, coming in very late, but I thought this site should help your cold nights in Alaska:

Walmartians

Wal-Martians - and with that ScottE wins the Inter...

2009-02-02T12:15:14.606-09:00

Wal-Martians - and with that ScottE wins the Internet for today.

"What’s strangest creature you’ve ever seen at Wal...

2009-02-02T12:03:26.541-09:00

"What’s strangest creature you’ve ever seen at Wal-Mart?"

Wal-Martians!

why did I go all the way upstairs? Hold on, if i g...

2009-02-02T08:57:11.197-09:00

why did I go all the way upstairs? Hold on, if i go down and try to retrace my steps I'll remember. Now, what I am doing downstairs?

Um, that shit happens to me all the time.

now...what were we talking about?

Jeff, Dr. Phil. I am not putting down Labs. Oh, wa...

2009-02-02T08:54:39.219-09:00

Jeff, Dr. Phil. I am not putting down Labs. Oh, wait. Yes I am. I was proud owner of a Chocolate monster named (appropriately) Bugsy, who all the way into his dotage believed himself to be a cross between a squirell and a 4 months-old puppy.

Attention span?! Oh wait, why did I go all the way upstairs? Hold on, if i go down and try to retrace my steps I'll remember. Now, what I am doing downstairs?

Labs are geniuses compare to English Springer Span...

2009-02-02T07:07:04.730-09:00

Labs are geniuses compare to English Springer Spaniels. We knew a couple of brother puppies who shared a brain cell or two between them. Spent a good part of an hour playing fetch with them. With snowballs. Never could find the snowball in the lawn, but nevermind, they were sure to get the next one. All enthusiasm, no brains.

Dr. Phil

Konstantin, I have to take exception to your scand...

2009-02-02T06:41:29.084-09:00

Konstantin, I have to take exception to your scandalous description of Labrador Retrievers' attention spans. They ... oh, hell, I can't. You're right.

With the technologies available blind people can s...

2009-02-02T06:09:31.201-09:00

With the technologies available blind people can shoot. You have a targeting device on the dog, which transmits data directly into the brain via bluetooth.

Mind you, most of the blind-eye dogs are Labs with attention span of a goldfish, so you need to be really quick on the draw.

Maybe the blind guy was one of the ones that uses ...

2009-02-02T05:33:14.048-09:00

Maybe the blind guy was one of the ones that uses the braille keypad at the drive-up ATMs.

WendyB_09

Bwahahahaha! I would probably be considered a sub...

2009-02-01T22:25:30.374-09:00

Bwahahahaha! I would probably be considered a subspecies of the "vampire girl" that you described, but far less flamboyant about it. The worse I do any more is black jeans, shirt, and my ratty-ass vinyl trench coat.

I do know the two you are talking about, though...they are also known to migrate to the Target from time to time, but strangely enough, not the Fred Meyers.

But yes, I am filled with a LOATHING about that place. I think it was perhaps built on an ancient Tlingit burial ground or something. Any rate, I get "urge to kill RISING" something fierce when I'm there....

Not to quibble, and not to say that he was one of...

2009-02-01T15:24:46.045-09:00

Not to quibble, and not to say that he was one of them, but there are blind people who are fairly decent marksmen with handguns. There are quite a few ways that targets can be made audible (I had several explained to me at the gun range.)

I have, thank god, never set foot into a Wal-Mart....

2009-02-01T11:26:13.713-09:00

I have, thank god, never set foot into a Wal-Mart.

Dr. Phil

Jim, you're killing me!! My sides hurt!Now if I ca...

2009-02-01T10:52:18.052-09:00

Jim, you're killing me!! My sides hurt!

Now if I can stop laughing/crying to write this. You have to understand, I worked for Kmart for nearly 20 years, and boy does your piece bring back memories...read-nightmares!

I worked in several stores during my "tenure" - varying from smack in the middle of NW Gawga red-neck country to a touron-loaded store next-door-to-that-freakin'-mouse-house in Central Florida. I have seen it all.

Over the years I've had TV's thrown at me by pissed off customers, guns/knives drawn on me by shoplifters, had to clean up every type of mess imaginable, the list is endless. AND - why I no longer work in retail.

I will confess, when I worked at the Kissimmee store next door to Disney, on Friday's we'd get our pay, get off work and head straight for the bar down the street. The managers would wander in and join us as soon as they could.

See, Epcot Center had just opened and everybody in the WORLD thought they had to come to see it the first year. I mean, they were camping in the Kmart parking lot because the hotels and campgrounds were full. Try pulling up to that vision first thing in the morning, we employees could barely find a spot to park and then we had to roust the campers before the store opened every morning for months. And we saw everything...

Fact is, Epcot Center is the main reason the Disney empire boomed so suddenly in the mid-80's. Which begat all the crap that is there today. But that's another post for another day.

Anyhow, Kmart in touron-central is probably much the same as a regional Wal-Mart like yours.

You have my sympathies. Maybe next time you have to do a non-Sunday run you should do your drinking BEFORE you get to the store. it will be so MUCH more amusing...

WendyB_09

Noted errors corrected - along with a few more.In ...

2009-02-01T08:24:15.353-09:00

Noted errors corrected - along with a few more.

In my defense I had a few when I wrote this - because, Wal-Mart.

Funny that you should post this today. I get the h...

2009-02-01T06:10:52.527-09:00

Funny that you should post this today. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about Wal-Mart, and up until Friday had never bought anything at one. I am visiting my cousin in the Poconos (PA version of Appalachia...), and she needed to pick up some groceries on Friday. So I came along with her, and bought a few things. I didn't happen to notice any freakazoids, but I surely be on the lookout should I ever go again...

I'm trying to find some way to defend the blind gu...

2009-02-01T05:11:34.967-09:00

I'm trying to find some way to defend the blind guy shopping for a gun and the best I can come up with is that if he only uses it at Wal-Mart, odds are he'll only hit someone who deserves it.

Also, I don't mean to pick nits, but while "highing" to some specific place probably has its merits, I'm pretty sure the pastor in question was imploring his flock to "hie" there. Just saying.

Very funny Jim. Like your neck of the woods, in ou...

2009-02-01T04:33:25.089-09:00

Very funny Jim. Like your neck of the woods, in our area Wal-Mart has undercut so many we don't have a lot of choices, though I do frequent our local independent Warehouse Club, BJs (seriously, that's the name), because going to Sam's Club would be painting a big "kick me" sign on my ass. And yeah, fresh veggie and Wal mart are not words that should go together, though it seems that our illegal Mexican help around here is a little more hygenic, probably because up to 6 months ago they were growing and picking the stuff and have some respect for it.

One minor quibble - it's Oxycontin (as in Oxycodone Continuous delivery), not Oxytocin - oxytocin is the hormone that makes women so much easier to live with in the hours after they've had the big "O", and men so much less aggressive after nookie. I highly doubt Rush is getting much of that. :D

Jim, are you familiar with this David Sedaris clas...

2009-01-31T20:30:05.873-09:00

Jim, are you familiar with this David Sedaris classic? Maybe Alaska has something in common with Texas and Michigan?

I'm with MWT. if you have to go to WalMart (which ...

2009-01-31T19:41:38.757-09:00

I'm with MWT. if you have to go to WalMart (which I refuse to do now we have a Target) the middle of the night is best.

Your "bush people" remind me of a debate my friend Susan and I once had, over who actually purchased the five gallon tub of lard sold in a local grocery store.

It was either people who came out of the mountains twice a year, or two men dressed entirely in tight leather and carrying whips.

I kept on the lookout for the second.

Walmart at 4am is even more entertaining. ;) Espec...

2009-01-31T18:11:55.818-09:00

Walmart at 4am is even more entertaining. ;) Especially with all those people hanging out by the doors and in the parking lot.