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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Wright Answers the Mail and Dispenses Timely Advice

I’ve been busy.

I’ve got several essays in progress, but just haven’t had a chance to complete any of them.

I’ve also let the mail pile up.

Between the blog’s general email account and messages from the various social media sites that I’m active on, the mail amounts to quite a bit.

So if you wrote me a nice, sane, reasonable message and didn’t get an answer, apologies.  I’ll answer some of those here.

If you sent me frothy missives filled with piss and poison toads and you didn’t get an answer, well, about that: I know you put a lot of effort into your rage and I appreciate it, I do,  but I probably deleted your message unread, because, like your mom, frankly I just don’t care about you.

And on that note:

Advice to Bloggers: each week I get mail from folks who want to start a political blog or who run political blogs and want to know how I deal with trolls, jerks, idiots, assholes, haters, baiters, cranks, lunks, skunks, and the various and sundry lunatics who inevitably show up in such places.

I would think that by now how I deal with these people should be obvious: I don’t.

Each week, I also get mail from folks concerned or angry about the Draconian way in which I handle comments here on Stonekettle Station.

Usually these messages are from people who acted like a screechy poo flinging monkey and got their comment deleted. However, sometimes these message are from concerned readers who seem to think that in the interest of “fairness” I should allow and even encourage the deranged monkeys to fling their crap on Stonekettle Station.

You want to see shit flinging? Go to the zoo.

It’s not my job to fix the jackasses.

I’m not the government. I’m not required to respect the bullshit arbitrary edicts of some ridiculous Neolithic religion, or the bullshit arbitrary edicts of extremist politics, or crazy conspiracy theories, or slack-jawed booger-eating stupidity, or deliberate ignorance, or raging incoherent hate.

I’m under no obligation, expressed or implied, to allow the screechy monkeys a platform to fling shit from – especially at me.

Unfair?

Yeah, so?

Learn how to behave. Learn how to  reason. Learn how to act like adult. Learn how to disagree without being a dick. Learn how to walk upright and shower and talk without spitting at people, learn how to write, learn how to frame a logical argument, learn how to spell, learn how to use words in the proper context. Learn how to take ownership of your opinion instead of just flinging some other brain damaged baboon’s dirty shit at me.

You want respect? Then you’ve got to give respect in the first place. That’s how it works around here.

These are good rules for life in general, not just for the internet.

Oh, yes, one other thing: if your deity doesn’t like how I do things, he’s welcome to tell me himself in person (providing he presents proper identification. Cash in small bills, no checks), I won’t entertain any self-appointed middleman. Try it, and I’ll turn the hose you.

Folks, say it with me: You cannot reason with unreasonable people.

You cannot reason with unreasonable people.

You cannot reason with people who are determined to be jackasses, attempting to do so will give you stomach cancer. I don’t want cancer, that’s why I quit smoking.  Arguing with an Internet troll is the equivalent of smoking, it might give you some momentary pleasure but it stinks up the room and sooner or later it’ll ruin your cardiovascular system. You can’t argue with a fanatic. You will never make a Creationist or a Birther or a 911 Truther or an Anti-Vaxxer or a moon landing denier see reason (I do, however, admit that in the later case I’m partial to the Aldrin Response, though it’ll probably get you talked about).  If these people were capable of reason, they wouldn’t be Creationists, or Birthers, or Truthers, or Anti-Vaxxers, or Deniers in the first place.

 

Edit: Some of you asked about an essay I penned a while back on the subject of unreasonable people: it’s here.

 

I refuse to give these people a platform.

They’re not being denied their rights in any way, they can always start their own website or write letters to the editor or stand on a street corner shouting at the clouds or get themselves elected to the Texas legislature. But I don’t have to listen to their nonsense and I’m not going to facilitate inflicting this dreck on anybody else either.

And that works for me.

You? You want to write about politics? Great. Terrific. Welcome to the party, I hope you wore old clothes. My advice to those of you thinking about starting your own blog, be it about politics or knitting or fluffy cotton-candy bunnies, is this: decide in advance what your goals are.  If you’re just looking for hit counts, start a porn site.  If you’re looking for a screechy four-handed shitfest, write for The Blaze or the Huffington Post.  But if you want to write about politics and you want to attract and keep an intelligent, thoughtful, and reasonable audience (a damned rare and unique thing on the internet nowadays) then you are going to have to take responsibility for managing the conversation. This isn’t any different than being the host of a party, you can either put up with the kind of shenanigans that lead to drunken frat boys pissing in the azaleas and knocking holes in your plaster and assaulting your other guests or you can toss the louts out on their ear. 

Decide in advance what kind of get-together you’re throwing and make the rules clear right up front and don’t be shy about enforcing them.

Also, if you’re going to write about politics, you’d probably do well to grow a thick skin.

If you’re the kind of person who will let the hate mail get to you, you’re not going to last very long. Seriously, go with the porn thing, everybody likes that. You can thank me later. 

On the other hand, if you begin to regard the hate mail as some kind of validation, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Here’s the bottom line: A blog is a mirror. The world is full of moronic unreasonable haters, but it’s also full of thoughtful reasonable intelligent people too – the type of audience you attract as a political blogger very likely reflects which end of the spectrum you yourself belong on. 

You might want to give that some thought.

 

Moving on to selected questions from the rest of the mail:

 

________

 

Army Major Hasan, thoughts? Comments?

I think he’s an asshole.

Do you think it was terrorism?

Call it workplace violence, call it terrorism, call it treason, call it a ham sandwich, I don’t care. He’s an asshole. Bottom line, a rabid dog mauls a member of your family, you don’t argue over what to call it, you just take the beast out back and shoot it.

What do you think should happen to him?

I’m not a big fan of the death penalty, but in Hasan’s case I think he’s more than earned it. It seems like a no-brainer to me.  The facts aren’t in dispute. Hasan killed thirteen people in cold blood, deliberately and on purpose. The Army wants Hasan dead. Hasan’s victims and their families want him dead. Hasan himself wants Hasan dead. Seems like we have a quorum. All in favor say “Aye.”  The ayes have it. Roll his miserable crippled ass out back, no camera, no speeches, no last words, and put a bullet in his head, ship the body home to his family COD. They don’t want it? Fine, have the Navy sink his ass at sea next to Osama bin Ladin and hose down the deck to get rid of his stink. Done.

Isn’t that what he wants?

Who cares what Nidal Hasan wants? Fuck him, he gave up his right to have any say in his fate the minute he fired the first shot. What he wants and what he doesn’t want is irrelevant other than it happens to align with the general consensus. And really, Hasan admitted his guilt and wants to die … so, out of some perverse sense of spite we’re not going to kill him?  Boy, I sure hope he’s never read Br’er Rabbit, “Please, Your Honor, whatever you do, don’t find me innocent and let me go free! Boy, I sure wouldn’t want that! Don’t throw me into the briar patch! No sirree!”  

Yeah, but won’t he become a martyr?

Martyrdom is overrated. A dozen of these assholes blow themselves up every week. How many of them do you remember? How many terrorist armies do you see rallying around their names? Brainwashed fanatics like Hasan are too goddamned stupid to see that they’re nothing but cannon fodder for the terrorist leaders, that’s why they fell for this martyr horseshit in the first place. You don’t see any of the big Islamic extremists becoming martyrs themselves do you? Not voluntarily anyway. And once they’re gone, nobody even remembers their names – other than their sobbing mothers that is. We killed Osama Bin Laden and tossed his body into the ocean, see any giant terrorist monuments to his martyrdom? Nidal Malik Hasan? Who the hell is that? Just another asshole. He wants to be a martyr? Fine by me.

 

________

 

What do you think of Bradley Manning’s apology? Does that change your opinion of him?

Manning apologized?

So did Ariel Castro, so did Bernie Madoff, so did Jim Baker, did that change your opinion of them?

 

________

 

I’m surprised you didn’t say something about Putin giving Edward Snowden asylum in Russia. I figured you’d be all over that.

What’s to say? You didn’t think Russia was going to hand Snowden over did you?

You did?

You’re so darned cute.

Ask yourself something, Russian IT guy working for the Kremlin steals umpity dozen gigabytes of information regarding the Russian Security Service’s ongoing espionage program directed by the Russian Government against its own citizens (well, of course the Russians have such a program, don’t be daft). The guy escapes to Reagan National in Washington DC with Russian agents hot on his trail and demands political asylum in the name of freedom and democracy for Russian citizens.  How do you think that would play out? Think we’d send him back?

Call it irony.  Snowden denounces the American government’s domestic spying program, seeks asylum in Cuba and Venezuela, ends up in Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

Maybe Putin will spot him a couple tickets to the next Pussy Riot concert.

 

________

 

This is Miss Lukas willson from Trinidad &Tobago.I am writing from the hospital in Cote D'Ivoire, therefore this mail is very urgent as you can see that I am dying in the hospital. I was told by the doctor that I was poisoned and has got my liver damaged and can only live for some months. I inherited some money ($2.5 Million) from my late father and I cannot think of anybody trying to kill me apart from my step mother  in order to inherit the money, she is an  Ivorien by nationality.

Seriously, how do people still fall for the Spanish Prisoner scam?

And do they know that they’re fucking up the internet for everybody else?

 

________

 

House Republicans, did you see that they voted to repeal Obamacare for like the 40th time? WTF?

The Tea Party called it a symbolic vote.

Apparently it symbolizes suicide.

Look at it this way, if they’re voting to repeal the Affordable Healthcare Act at least they’re not screwing up something else.

Between this nonsense, sequestration, and threatening another government shutdown, the next couple of election cycles ought to be fairly entertaining.

Speaking of upcoming elections, I see that the RNC is demanding that CNN cancel its upcoming biopic on Hillary Clinton or else they won’t allow CNN to broadcast the 2015 republican primary debates. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said they feel that the mainstream media is biased … so, apparently he thinks that the way to make the media impartial is for political committees to dictate what they can and cannot broadcast.

Because, yeah, we don’t have enough material for more facepalm demotivational posters already.

 

________

 

Hi Jim Wright! I’ve emailed several times but you haven’t responded, what’s up with that? LOL! love love love stonekettle and I’ve read all the rules LOL! Anyway, I think we would make a great team. I’ve written a bunch of blogs that your readers would love please tell me how to post them to stonekettle.com!

I haven’t responded? How odd. I’ll look into that.

________

 

How about that Obama Rodeo Clown guy, can you believe that?

Can I believe that a bunch of inebriated rednecks with pigshit between their toes at some half-assed state fair in Missouri hate Barack Obama?

Man, I totally didn’t see that coming.

 

House Republican Steve Stockman invited the Obama Rodeo Clown guy to perform in Texas!

Speaking of clowns.  Again, I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.

People, please, it’s Texas.

It’s Steve Stockman, you know, the same Steve Stockman who invited Ted Nugent to the last State of the Union address. You were expecting what exactly from this assclown? 

 

Yeah, but…

Please.

It was a clown.

It’s a rodeo.

It’s a crowd of drunken rednecks at a rodeo watching a clown in a rubber mask of the president – of course they cheered and laughed.

These yahoos would have cheered if the clown had been wearing a President Romney mask, which he would have been … if Republicans hadn’t lost to Barack Obama, twice.

That’s right, Missouri, who’s laughing now?

 

________

 

You the man, thanks for existing.

Aw shucks.

________

 

libtard cockbite i hope u get aidds and hav to go on oblamercare dikwipe!

Well, so much for the swelled head.

 

________

 

More Pictures of ShopKat!

Shopkat has a low opinion of humans in general and my email in particular.

Lemon Face

Plus she’s pointy on five ends, we’d better leave her out of this.

 

________

 

Jim, I love your stuff but what’s with the “your mom” jokes? Don’t you think that’s a little juvenile?

That’s between me and your mom.

 

And that’s going to do it.

I’ll see if I can find the time to finish a couple of these unfinished essays. Maybe put some time into the book I’m working on.

 

You may consider the comments thread an open forum.

Feel free to discuss the topics of your choice. If you’d like to see an essay on a particular subject, you may suggest such and I’ll take it under advisement.

Feel free to ask questions, I might even answer.

106 comments:

  1. It ain't arrogance if you can back it up.

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  2. Your blog. Your rules. Simple as that. What don't they get?

    "Some people...you can dress'm up but you caint take'm out..."

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  3. Grand Zarkie of Planet VoltratronAugust 16, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    Jim: Although I strongly disagree with some of the positions you've taken over the years, the above essay (rant?) (whatever) confirms my feeling that you're brother I never had.

    Keep on keepin' on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's ok, the brother I actually have disagrees with me most of the time too.

      Delete
  4. Who's this Robert Snowden dude? Is that Edward Snowden's alter ago now?

    Love that ShopKat pic!

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  5. Well, as usual, you make me both laugh and want to cry. "You can't reason with unreasonable people." :::sigh::: Yeah, that one makes me want to delete my tiny blog about 2 days out of four. When it hits three days out of five...hey, I might just give it up.

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  6. Tony Desmuke UnFatCatAugust 16, 2013 at 8:45 AM

    Well I think you've hit every one of those nails on the head. Nice fresh current affairs blog with a touch of in your face sarcasm and a large dose of reality. Thanks for the good read Jim, Tony Desmuke gives it 4 and a half stars only because it could have been a bit longer. But I know you are a busy man.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. *Edward* Snowden.

    (I know you know that. I'm sure it was just a typo.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I copied it from the email that way without even blinking.

      It's fixed.

      Delete
  9. Great stuff, Jim. I'm going to steal this and give it to my husband for a birthday present:

    "Oh, yes, one other thing: if your deity doesn’t like how I do things, he’s welcome to tell me himself in person (providing he presents proper identification. Cash in small bills, no checks), I won’t entertain any self-appointed middleman. Try it, and I’ll turn the hose you."

    You see, a Baptist cult took over the church across the street from us. Why do I call it a cult? Actually, I got that from a batch of main-line Baptist bloggers who have been looking into the practices of the IFB. It stands for Independent Fundamental Baptist church and their erstwhile hero was a guy named Jack Schapp, 55, who had a very successful mega-church in Hammond Indiana until he got carted off to the hoosegow. Seems he was caught transporting a 17-year-old parishioner across state lines for the purposes of sexual congress.

    Anyhow, it's become apparent that the church has a dress code for women and girls. Long skirts must be worn at all times. Yeah, they've got a real hard-on for modesty. The pastor has accosted teenaged boys at a neighbor's basketball court and told them that playing Shirts & Skins is causing his 6 and 8 year-old daughters to fall-- as in fall from grace due to impure thoughts. His 6 year-old son told my neighbor, Fred, that he needed to put a shirt on while working in the garden. I figure if the pastor wants to erect a sign on church property that says "No Shirt, No Skirt, No Salvation" that's his business. But quit telling us Atheists and Catholics what to do in our own yards.

    Which brings me to the theft and birthday present. The IFB dude keeps trying to convert my husband. He doesn't bother with me. So far, hubby's been polite and rebuffed his advances. I'm going to give him the line about self-appointed middlemen. Thank-you. Even if husband was inclined to join up, I don't think he could bear to break it to me that I'd have to stop wearing purple spandex biking short.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "...The world is full of moronic unreasonable haters, but it’s also full of thoughtful reasonable intelligent people too – the type of audience you attract as a political blogger very likely reflects which end of the spectrum you yourself belong on."

      ciejai, you sound EXACTLY like the kind of "thoughtful reasonable intelligent" person Jim describes. You must drive the numbnuts across the street even crazier than they would be otherwise. Keep up the good work!

      Delete
    2. Elsie, what a nice thing to say! I try to remember Jim's advice on comments-- he said he's going for quality not quantity.

      It's been an adventure with the IFB's taking over the church. We're just glad it's not a brew pub. A lot of big churches in Pittsburgh have been sold and turned into bars, restaurants, and B & B's.

      The reason the pastor targeted my husband for conversion is obvious. Most of these right-wingers make certain erroneous assumptions about a military officer with a buzz-cut, black belts in two karate disciplines, and proficiency with weapons. It leads to misunderstandings when they push it too far. Hilarity ensues.

      Let me know if you want to hear about the two occasions when the pastor set up an industrial-strength construction-site boom box and blasted us out with Glenn Beck.

      Delete
    3. "the pastor set up an industrial-strength construction-site boom box and blasted us out with Glenn Beck" I hope you called the cops, and I hope they had the guts to put a stop to it.

      Delete
    4. Let me know if you want to hear about the two occasions when the pastor set up an industrial-strength construction-site boom box and blasted us out with Glenn Beck"

      By all means. Would love to hear how that turned out.

      Delete
    5. Hey, ciejai,

      That sounds a whole hell like noise pollution to me. What did the cops think? Did they write a ticket?

      Or did you and your husband respond with some kind of wondrously devious plan of your own that got the attention of the SOBs and made them back off?

      Inquiring minds want to know!

      Delete
    6. Well, since you asked. The church across the street had been run into the ground by the former pastor so we were happy when the new guy took over about 7 years ago. We did all the neighborly things and even went to a zoning hearing to support the church when it wanted to make some changes to signage and stuff like that. As I said, we're just glad it's back up and running as a church and hasn't been turned into a brew pub. We may not want to join this tax-exempt political indoctrination outfit but we don't wish them any ill. It's tough in an area that is predominantly Catholic with a few Episcopalians and Presbyterians sprinkled in. Baptists are consigned to sucking hind teat.

      One day last August I returned from two hours of peace and serenity on the bike trail to our leafy little neighborhood, popped in the back door and instantly became aware of a tremor in the universe. The pastor and old Charlie, his handyman, were working on the parish house with the aforementioned boom-box cranked to triple scorch. Our home faces the back of the church, the parking lot, and a parish house they use for meetings, etc. The structures form a natural amphitheater so Glennie was audible at least three blocks away. From my perspective, it felt like the Beckster was broadcasting on my front porch. I stomped and fumed a bit and then marched across the street and politely told the Rev that his radio was so loud I could hear it in inside my house with all the doors and windows shut. He said he'd turn it down. I said thank-you. He didn't say anything about my biking shorts. All was peaceful...for a few days.

      A couple days later hubby was working in the yard and Pastorman made a point of crossing the street to say "Top 'o the morning" and isn't it a beautiful day and isn't it great weather to be working outside and something about how nice it is to be out in the fresh air listening to the radio. Hubby agreed it was a nice day to be out and probably mumbled something about preferring to listen to the song birds.

      Next bike ride, I return and Glennie is back. This time I am so angry that it scares me. Thank goodness the weapons are locked up separately from the ammo. On the rare occasions I get that angry I get very calm and form a plan. It's clear Pastorman doesn't care what the little woman has to say but he he's a real groupie when it comes to the mister. So I enlist the husband's help to explain things to him.

      The next weekend, my most excellent better-half approaches Pastorman and says "Hey, you got a minute? I need to ask you something." The rev looks like he's ready to pee himself with delight. Probably thinks he's gonna get a question about Jesus. Hubby continues "What if I went into your neighborhood and set up shop across from your house and blasted your family with the radio?" Pastorman begins to stutter and splutter explanations. Hubby continues: "You know what I'd call it? I'd call it lack of respect." Then he walked away.

      Problem solved.

      Delete
    7. PS: I wouldn't have cared if it was Classic Rock, ESPN, NPR, the Metropolitan Opera, or my personal fave Frank Zappa on the radio. When an authority figure sets up a boom-box he gives every kid in the neighborhood permission to do the same. And the kids aren't gonna be blasting Glenn Beck.

      Delete
    8. I'd rather hear the kids' music than Glenn Beck's idiocy any day! I also have the pleasure of being left alone by religitards trying to "save souls". I think it's either that I'm almost 6' tall and always look "angry" (as my kid says, I can be "intimidating". Hehe), or that I have 19 tattoos (2 of which have pentacles in them - for the symbolism of Earth, Air, Fire, Water & Spirit only) and live in Fl, so they really can't all be covered. Unlike your hubby, mine is left alone because he looks like a giant Viking warrior (yes, blonde hair to his waist and all) and also has a few tattoos. (He's the nicer of us though and a total teddy bear)
      I so love when the folks with pamphlets hanging out of each hand and their book tucked into their shirt come to my door. I never even get a word in (which can be sorta a bummer unless I'm busy. Could be fun) before they fluster out, turn quickly and shuffle away as fast as their old granny shoes allow. Pretty funny.

      Delete
    9. Thanks, ciejai, for explaining how you two handled that old buzzard. Whatever works... And, viva la purple spandex biking shorts!

      Delete
    10. Why do you hate brewpubs? (grin)

      Delete
    11. Don, don't hate them. Just NIMFY.

      Elsie, actually we're the old buzzards in this story. Pastorman is probably 45. We're a decade or sooooooo past that.

      Delete
    12. Love your story, ciejai.

      Heather, your comment brings to mind one of the many times a Witness approached my front door. I have a fenced-in yard, and this woman was about halfway to the front door when my dog came trotting around from the back. Duke was about 55 lbs. of feisty cowardice who would bark up a storm from a safe distance, he was also jet-black with a blocky head and beady eyes (chow X retriever). The Witness froze in terror, equally far from either the door or the gate. Me, I casually leaned on the doorjamb and inquired of the woman what she wanted. I let her twist in her own panic for a minute or so - after all, I hadn't invited her into my yard - before taking Duke by the collar and letting her effect her escape. It was a long time after that before I had another Witness approach my house.

      Bruce
      (Who is obviously going to Hell)

      Delete
    13. Cejai,

      Nice little story there. Both instructive and funny. We all got ugly neighbors from time to time but we don't all manage them so well. Thanks for that.

      Point of order though: Hindmost tit is the BEST tit. If you are sucking hindmost tit you are in poll position, getting the best & most & creamiest milk. If you are the runt you will be found up the other end, sucking front-most tit, and probably not getting your fill.

      It's a metaphor that has gone bass ackwards as people have got further and further away from animal husbandry. Not that it matters so much, but... it matters. To some of us pups in any case.

      Delete
    14. Anonymous who posted on August 22 @ 2:58 AM-- Glad you enjoyed the story. There's more... but why dwell? Thanks for setting us all straight on the biology of hind vs fore teat. I probably knew that at one time-- used to deal with hog farmers in another life. Big sows scare me more than dogs filled with "feisty cowardice." Great line, Bruce, who is obviously going to hell.

      Delete
  10. Looks desperately around for a "Like" button, but has nothing truly useful to add. Looking forward to the book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like button is at the top. It's Jim. No need to even read it first, just hit the like then continue to read, which will make you wish for a "Love" button. ;)

      Delete
  11. You said it was an open thread. Here's an interesting Hollywood gossip kind of thing... You know how actress Leah Remini recently left the Church of Scientology and then filed a missing persons report for wife of Scientology leader, Shelly Miscavige, who hadn't been seen in public for 6 years? LAPD has closed the missing persons case saying they have spoken to Shelly - but interestingly enough twenty-six years ago Shelly's mother, also a member of the church, turned up dead after committing 'suicide' by shooting herself with a rifle 4 times:

    http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2012/01/the_strange_dea.php

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  12. Just some thoughts on the Manning issue. No I do not see him as heroic but can't quite wrap my head around him being a "traitor" either, sorry. This is a very disturbed young man and the military had ample evidence he was unfit for duty...which calls into question some peoples' qualification to lead.

    I don't excuse his actions, yes he needs a spanking but since my views on "punishment" tend to be outcome based I fail to see how locking him up for his entire life serves any purpose or gains us anything. Oh, wait...it makes us look ridiculously over zealous to most of the world and adds to the already extreme divide in the US population.

    The Swedish have a very good word, lagom, we should learn it.

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    Replies
    1. from what i read, he could be out in as few as seven years. frankly, that seems eminently reasonable.

      Delete
  13. Oh how I have missed a good Jim Wright rant.... I feel so much better now.

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  14. Jim,

    I couldn't agree with you more. I also refuse to put up with fools, haters, and other assorted bottom feeders. One of the things that I always here is that somehow I'm violating their First Amendment rights to free speech.
    Apparently, they have no real clue as to what the First Amendment protects. It protects their freedom of expression from Government censorship. That's it! If they start saying things that their boss doesn't like or approve of then their boss has the right to fire them. The First Amendment does not allow you the right to be given any forum, any where, at any time to rant about whatever you want.
    Above all else, the First Amendment does Not protect you from the consequences of your words.
    I really do wish people would get that through their heads.

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    1. The First Amendment does NOT protect you from the consequences of your words. LOVE it, gonna use it and probably not give you credit.

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    2. I always liked writer Jim Hines's version -- "Freedom of speech does not protect you from the consequences of saying stupid shit."

      Angie

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  15. Thanks for posting this. I was starting to go into withdrawal.

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    1. Yeah, and with Jon Stewart gone, I thought we were in limbo until someone came back...

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    2. You and me. I was hoping that Jim was just really busy. Now I can relax.

      Delete
  16. What I find hilarious about Edward Snowden is that it appears he believes that Putin is going to take care of him. Putting your trust in Putin, now there's a winning proposition.

    Although it just occurred to me...Putin may indeed "take care of him" once he gets the information he wants. Potayto, potahto.

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  17. P.S. Regarding idiots, trolls, white spandex wearers, etc.: I am glad you don't prescribe to the philosophy of false equivalency. Not every opinion is worth the same.

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  18. On my way to the zoo now! Thanks for the good chuckles today! Oh, and get out of my head - I've been saying the same thing about Hasan - Let the Kraken loose! Thanks, Jim.

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  19. Why is it that I can't channel you as needed? Note to self: must repeat every day (as often as necessary) "you can't reason with unreasonable people."

    Whether it's sound advice from the Man from Palmer or a rant which tells folks in no uncertain terms to "Learn how to take ownership of your opinion instead of just flinging some other brain damaged baboon’s dirty shit at me," your *are* da man.

    Plus I like that word screechy.

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  20. Thanks for coming back...I have started blogging on our Karate website...boy, it is more difficult than I imagined...you have to spell and use punctuation...I don't understand why anyone would use a site like mine to spew hate...Jim keep on writing, and take some of the heat off of me...thick skin is hard to grow...

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  21. Are you being unfair to those who write to you? I always say, "define fair". Fair means everyone plays by the same rules. You make the rules, others must play by them, so you are totally fair.
    That being said, I frequently have to look things up after I read your blog, today it's the Aldrin Response.
    Keep it coming.

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    Replies
    1. Well - video no longer available on the Aldrin Response. Now what? I'm guessing he punched the guy in the mouth?

      Delete
    2. Punched him the nose, I believe. Hard. If you’re a moon Landing denier, you'd be well advised to steer clear of Buzz aldrin because he will kick your stupid ass.

      Delete
    3. Damn, I'd pay good money to watch Buzz punch some moron in the nose!

      Delete
    4. I think "The Aldrin Response" sounds like a great "Big Bang Theory" episode title. And I've seen the video, It is a great case study in underestimating your opponent. The old man is a combat vet who has killed people, and has more guts in his little finger than most people have in their whole body. Taunting him about his most significant contribution to his nation and to all mankind is a very dumb move.

      Delete
    5. The video is here, at about 1:34: http://youtu.be/wptn5RE2I-k

      Delete
    6. I completely missed this altercation from 2001. So, after watching it on YouTube, I went searching for what happened afterwards and found this on Wikipedia:

      "...Sibrel called (Buzz) "a coward, and a liar, and a thief." Aldrin punched Sibrel in the jaw, which was recorded. Sibrel later attempted to use the tape to convince police and prosecutors that he was the victim of an assault. However, it was decided that Aldrin had been provoked, and, based on Sibrel's unfazed, nearly instant reaction to his cameraman, did not actually injure Sibrel, so no charges were filed..."

      Now, that's a satisfying result for an astronaut defending himself against harassment from an idiot like Sibrel. No charges filed...

      Delete
    7. Oops....that event happened in 2002...

      Delete
    8. This link still works .youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k
      Good thing I wasn't there, I would of punched the guy for Buzz.

      Delete
    9. NICE! I am glad to hear that there were no charges filed against Mr. Aldrin. And I just can't get my mind around the idea that there are people who don't believe in the moon landing...

      Terri

      Delete
  22. Don't give us the old "I'm busy" routine: we all know you're just enjoying yourself with those wonderful Alaskan outdoors and your boss "Shopkat" won't let you mess with the computer!

    ReplyDelete
  23. If you were a really nice person there would have been a "Steve's Thoughts" comment box underneath each of your bolded topics in the essay above. But even though you aren't "really" nice, you are interesting and correct(ish) often enough that I will probably keep reading.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Enjoy the blog. It cuts through the crap to the underlying crap. Keep on truckin'.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Snowden's going to be one sorry little sob for settling in Russia. If he thought he had problems before, just wait....
    That said, I look forward to your every entry on this blog. I even shared a link with my uncle, because I think he'd love it too. He's like you in many respects: no nonsense, retired military (Air Force) and he's a straight shooter when it comes to dingbats.
    I'm waiting to see what you might have to say about what states like North Carolina are doing to voting rights and the voting public. I think they're so freaked out about the last two elections that they are doing everything they can get away with to rig - at least - state elections in their favor. It's that sort of thing that worries me immensely.
    Sincerely,
    A devoted reader

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mother. Alzheimers. Nursing home. Mind numbing shit.

    Then I get to come home and read Jim Wright and laugh and laugh and laugh. I love your brain.

    Slack-jawed booger-eating stupidity! Yup, that (and several others) did it today. Thanks for keeping my funny bone properly tickled. Nobody does it better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly why I love to read Jim's stuff! I can go from --'has this country completely lost any semblance of a remote possibility of logical thought? Am I really living in a world where ' slack-jawed booger eating stupidity' makes it possible for bozo's like Reince Priebus to claim the way to fix 'biased media' is to have politicians decide what programs mainstream media can and cannot show'? --to laughing so hard I am in danger of being arrested for disturbing the peace in my little neighborhood! For pure laughs the thing about the teenage girl with the piercings was priceless--be sure to read it. I also need to know that there are people out there who think the way I do. I kind of agree with ShopKat on the human race more than I used to.

      Delete
  27. I am honoured that you replied to me lickety split when I emailed you. I am thinking it might have a little to do with the I am Canadian thing but more likely right place right time internet-wise. either way I am still honoured

    Keep ranting on

    ReplyDelete
  28. Here you go-- the Aldrin Response. I had to look it up. Thanks, Jim. Made my day. Now if I could just figure our how to post a live link in this system....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wcrkxOgzhU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of the youtube comments: "Right on target."

      - Medicine Man

      Delete
  29. That's the beauty about blogs. Probably the only place where its appropriate to have a Dictatorship.

    What? Miss Lucas contacted you too? That's my dough Bucko! Hands off!

    Thanks for the support and reassurance that just not replying anymore to the old high school friend who tracked me down and now sends daily links to the aerial global engineering project "con-trail" conspiracy theory is the best and only course. Just calmly push the keyboard back and walk away from that email ....

    Type on.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hey,Lenny. Cue up my theme music. I'm on Stonkettle and Jim just loves it!

    Ok,cereally folks,clowns are a very clickish group. Hence,the interest of Steve Stockman. Actually, I think he just likes the chubby he gets when they all cram, hot and sweaty, into that tiny car.
    Speaking of clowns named Steve. I see the King of Cantelope Calves,Steve King,has hit the Twitter button and told Obama that he should invite the rodeo clown to the White House for a beer summit. Have a few laughs. Because,"it's not about race".
    Really?
    I know when I want someone to explain race relations to me my go to guy is Steve King.
    Same way as when I need someone to explain a science question to me I head right to Jim Inhoffe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome comment Joe. Urban Dictionary helped me out with the "chubby."

      Delete
  31. Right from the start I've found it hilarious that Eddie Snowden, after self-righteously taking his country out to the proverbial woodshed, would seek asylum in mofo RUSSIA! It makes one wonder if his history teacher skipped very large & significant portions of world events; he's obviously not up on current affairs either. Perhaps he's just seen too many spy movies or fancies himself a character out of a John le Carre novel.

    Pam in PA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget, he stopped off in China's territory first to ride out the launch of his revelations. Clearly, the Hero of Transparency and Human Rights For All has a real talent for finding paradises to match his ideals.

      Delete
  32. Idiots gonna idiotate or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of my favorite quotes, first encountered in an Arthur Clarke foreword: "Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain."

      Delete
    2. Please credit Friedrich Schiller with that quote.

      Delete
    3. Gladly; I knew it wasn't Clarke but couldn't recall the author and was too lazy to Google it.

      Delete
  33. Thank goodness you're OK. I was starting to worry that ShopKat had done away with you and buried the body. I'm very familiar with cats and their evil ways. So glad you're back.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Dude...funny shit. thanks

    ReplyDelete
  35. Shopkat makes me happy - in a "keep your fingers inside the vehicle at all times" kind of way.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I know you have better ways to decide what to put in your book than taking requests, but may I suggest you add somewhere the essay you did about the dog and Shopkat begging for food? It was the one where you were working and asked for more food because the dog had eaten it. My husband and I still quote "I don't care if it's a cat turd" and "Butty butt butt butt" then giggle like morons.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Somewhere among the "Reactions" buttons needs to be a selection for "Thanks for existing". I'd punch that one with every column.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I support this idea. I too would hit it every time.

      Delete
  38. Or how about an "i laughed my ass off!" option?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Going with the Shopkat opinion here. Who will argue with "pointy at 5 ends" anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  40. I am afraid I have to disagree on the everybody loves porn comment. There are manic poo flinging monkeys involved with that subject too (and I'm not talking about the people who get a chubby watching people fling poo), who would gladly shut down that whole section of the internet. And thank you Joeklahoma for my new word of the week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hating porn on the internet is like hating the engine that makes your car move. Porn affects everything from VCR vs BETA to faster internet to cheap video programs which you might use to watch pollinating insects but other folks use for, yes, porn. I personally find most of it boring but it doesn't keep me from continuing to look for the interesting stuff. B-) Oh yeah and shaved hoo-has. No one used to do that but porn stars and strippers and now there's waxing in every salon. Porn affects women's fashion so don't be hating on porn. Just don't click on it without computer protection (nice unintended irony). So, in conclusion (sound of many shouts of joy)you don't have to love porn but you can love its byproducts.

      Delete
    2. ...and that's how the fight started.

      Delete
  41. Grand Zarkie of Planet VoltratronAugust 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    Today is the second day of the infamous godless/hippie/commie/socialist/seekrit muslin Seattle Hemp Fest 2013. A kinder, gentler, and some say ironic, Seattle PD is handing out 1.000 bags of the canonical munchies, Doritos. Attached thereon are stickers directing folks to the Seattle PD website that lays out their take on the impending legalization of possession of one ounce of recreational reefer in Washington state. Compare and contrast to their rotten violent fascist behavior at the WTO talks of 1999. The times they are a changin'. And it's about fucking...well...time.

    Oh, and since it's been about eight months since I-502 was approved, one hopes that Holder will pull his thumb out of his ass sometime soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're supposed to finalize the rules by December 1. Still waiting on plans for that Christmas vacation. Any chance of you catching the ferry to Seattle to celebrate, Jim?

      Delete
    2. I don't really care if others smoke the stuff, but it smells like burning rope to me. Makes me want to gag.

      Plus I do consulting for the US Military, even if wanted to smoke the stuff (which I don't), I'd still be prohibited by law from doing so.

      Again, I don't care if others do it, and I think pot being illegal is just plain idiotic, but it's not my thing.

      Delete
  42. "It’s not my job to fix the jackasses."

    Yep. You're not the Jackass Whisperer.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Here's a report from a visit to a conference of the semi-secret right-wing party ALEC by a Wisconsin Democratic legislator. She went, and just said she was a Wisconsin legislator, and didn't say what party she was with.

    http://billmoyers.com/2013/08/15/a-dem-adrift-in-alec-land/

    Some quotes:
    “Oh, well, you really don’t need people to do this. You just need control over the legislature and you need money, and we have both.” (right wing think tank person)

    "I was really impressed by their infrastructure. I mean, we would never duplicate something like this on the left because, first of all, we would never take instructions from corporations, but the coordination that they have between these policy think tanks, the money and the legislators, in terms of just driving an agenda, it’s incredible. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m fascinated by it because I’ve never seen anything like it from the left. I was the public policy director at Planned Parenthood, so I’m very familiar with building infrastructure. We did a lot of that in the state of Wisconsin. But we have nothing that I know of on the national front that connects all these things. It is a well-oiled machine."

    One of the questions I keep having is "who are the leaders?" We know about the Koch brothers, of course. But who else?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taylor: I was really impressed by their infrastructure. I mean, we would never duplicate something like this on the left because, first of all, we would never take instructions from corporations,

      Maybe Rep. Taylor wouldn't but, I wouldn't be too sure about that DLC bunch.

      Delete
    2. That's some scary stuff. And with recent predictions about the Republicans set to take over the Senate in 2014, I'm trying not to panic.

      Delete
  44. And here we have science fiction writer and futurist Bruce Sterling on Assange, Manning, and Snowden. *No* sympathies for Assange and Manning, but not a lot for the NSA, either. He likes diplomats.

    "The Blast Shack," 2010.

    The Ecuadorian Library, 2013. The headline picture of Stallman and Assange holding a Constructivist (grey, red, and black) picture of Snowden is priceless and he has discovered some sympathy for the NSA.

    See also Cory Doctorow's response and snarky discussion over at Charlie Stross's blog.

    My take on this? This is a somewhat edited version of what I wrote over at Stross's: "In order to recreate a class system, a huge amount of effort has been spent to destroy the honor and loyalty of the vast majority of people. The new aristocratic class has now discovered that it can no longer find honest and loyal retainers.

    "This is, of course, a conservative argument and conservatives--real conservatives, not authoritarians who call themselves conservatives to expand their personal or class power--ought to pay attention. I don't see how any society can hold together without commitments on the part of its members."

    My final take, yet again, is a return to Hodgell's "paradox of honor," or perhaps Yeats "Second Coming:" "But how when one's superiors are corrupt, all the way to the top? Where does loyalty lie?" "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your headline made me laugh out loud! Thanks Jim! Having been a headline creator at one time it brought back a lot. Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  46. The internet is not a new creation. It's been around for many years now, righ? And even many years as an easily accessible to all type tool. Commonplace. Normal. Routine. And yet some folks still don't get it.

    Don't like it? Don't read it. Want to comment. Fine. Prepare to be rejected, scolded, or ignored.. maybe praised... but no guarantees.

    Life ain't fair and neither is the web... but... the internet is big enough for everyone. Either learn to play nicely with others, or find a group who likes you for not being nice, or go find/create your own little dark corner of webland just as you like it. duh...

    ReplyDelete
  47. Jim, you mean you DIDN'T help out the poor, dying Trinidadian (or is it Tobogannoggin? I can never get that straight) woman? Heartless bastard! I mean, she's your third cousin six times removed on ShopKat's side, right?

    By the way, your commenting policies can't be all that draconian - several of mine have gotten through, after all.

    Bruce

    ReplyDelete
  48. Shop cat finds tedious trolls tedious.
    Pointy on five ends. Hah!
    My version of Shopcat....Barncat.. expresses his opinion to strangers in pointed ways.
    I always answer with "What part of "he will bite you" did you fail to understand?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a cat like that, no one ever listens!

      Delete
  49. Oh, that "equal time" bullshit... how I loathe thee!

    I just had my MFA thesis show & it was all political artwork. Title was "Ignoble Prizes & Other Editorials", and it featured a lot of snarky awards for politicians who've pissed me off (Photos here if anyone's curious- https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151824188891757.1073741828.743891756&type=1&l=a0a32fca6a ). A woman working in the food court at the student union asked me if it was going to be "fair & balanced", at which I snorted derisively & said, "No. I'm an opinionated artist, not a newspaper." I did have one guy comment in my book that the show was very one-sided. Had he said that to me in person, I would have pointed out that so was his t-shirt, which declared in large type, "Jesus <3's Unborn Babies." Opinions- OK for for anti-abortion guy, not OK for liberal feminist art woman. Got it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent show, Sharon! Wish I could have seen it in person. Congratulations!

      Delete
    2. Love, love, LOVE your show. I also wish I could have seen it in person! Wonderful job!

      Delete
    3. You've managed to make me laugh as much as Jim does. I really want the Santorum piece, it made me spout tea out of my nose!!!!

      Delete
  50. I just love it that ShopKat's tag says "meow".

    ReplyDelete
  51. Slow getting to this, but it's a good thing. Over the weekend I learned a new (to me) saying from my lovely niece which, if I interpret it's meaning correctly, fits quite well here:

    "I'm fuc#ing this mule, you just hold it's head.

    (My niece is from south GA)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Jim, time for a new post. I frankly think our president is on the board five moves in front of our intransigent Congress in regard to Syria, but at what cost to whom?

    Emily Post

    ReplyDelete
  53. This is a somewhat edited version of what I wrote over at Stross's: "In order to recreate a class system, a huge amount of effort has been spent to destroy the honor and loyalty of the vast majority of people. The new aristocratic class has now discovered that it can no longer find honest and loyal retainers.
    y tuong kinh doanh |
    phan biet iphone |
    suc khoe phu nu |

    ReplyDelete

Comments on this blog are moderated. Each will be reviewed before being allowed to post. This may take a while. I don't allow personal attacks, trolling, or obnoxious stupidity. If you post anonymously and hide behind an IP blocker, I'm a lot more likely to consider you a troll. Be sure to read the commenting rules before you start typing. Really.